


Coping with Consequences

by ulktante



Series: One Night Stand [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, James Potter is Dead, Lily's priority is Harry's best interest, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo 2019, No Horcruxes, Pragmatism, Pureblood Politics (Harry Potter), Wizarding Culture (Harry Potter), Wizarding Traditions (Harry Potter), parent!Voldemort, toddler!harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 113,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ulktante/pseuds/ulktante
Summary: Sometimes people take actions or do things because they are unaware of the possible consequences. Sometimes they do because of those possible consequences. Sometimes even despite the possible consequences. But all of the time if they don't want to run forever they have to cope with those consequences.This is one possible continuation of the three chapter sketch of a beginning I wrote a while back. I started it for NaNoWriMo last year and came suprisingly far.Being updated with no real schedule but used as a creative outlet so there should not be too long a wait between chapters.
Relationships: Lily Evans & Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Lily Evans Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: One Night Stand [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661875
Comments: 787
Kudos: 563
Collections: BooksToMonitor





	1. Chapter 4 - Buying Time

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts of with Chapter 4 because it seamlessly connects to the three chapters you'll find in "One Night Stand" which I have added to this collection. If you haven't already I recomment going there to read it before starting on this one.  
> If you know my first and biggest work "Benefits of old Laws" know that this one follows a different format. I'm restricting myself to the same two people for points of view. Just as a heads up.
> 
> Have fun reading and let me know what you think!

Instead of picking up the toddler, who was once again holding up his arms in a clear demand, Tom silently cast a sleeping charm at the green-eyed boy. An equally silent hovering charm made sure that the small child was settled comfortably in his crib.

All this was done without Tom giving much attention to his actions, as his thoughts were racing.

There was no way he could kill his own son. He just had to make sure the boy was safe. And he needed to  decide how best to do so, fast. Tom was pretty sure he had tripped some alarm wards when he had entered the house. He turned, and his eyes fell on the unconscious Lily.

Several memories rushed past his inner eye.

The way Rose had laughed at a sarcastic remark from him. Severus begging for her life. Her face filled with bliss, placed there by his own hands. Their lively discussion about society's demands on women and how they had changed over time.

Knowing that he  did not  have much time left, Tom sprang  in to action.

With a flick of his bone-white wand, there was a message carved in blazing letters into the wall just over the crib. Tom hoped it would distract the old goat from the truth. At least long enough to come up with a better plan.

Another spell brought paper and a biro up from somewhere downstairs so he could pen a quick note and place it in Lily’s pocket before making his exit.

One flick of his wrist shattered the window, and a short burst of flight out of it brought him out of the house, where he could cast the Dark Mark into the sky over the quaint cottage. Satisfied with the impromptu plan, Tom prepared to leave and make a better plan  when he had more time, when there was an anguished scream from the house. Seemed as if the Potters had been expecting a visitor, or the wards had alerted someone faster than  Tom had thought they would.

Not willing to lose more time just to satisfy his curiosity, he turned on his heel. With barely a sound, the form of Lord Voldemort vanished from Godric's Hollow and landed elegantly, if in emotional turmoil, in his Headquarters.

Using the locket he had reclaimed after learning about it from Borgin, and spelling it to act as a stand-in for a Dark Mark, Tom called for Severus and Peter. Hopefully his two spies would be fast. He needed to warn them, but he also needed a few moments of calm to himself, to order his thoughts and to plan.

This was going to change so many things in his life. And as unhappy as he was admitting this, even to himself, he needed to think on what he wanted to do if Rose – Lily – wasn’t agreeable.

And he needed to decide what he even wanted to do for Lily to agree to.

Tom made a face, but swiftly smoothed his features into a controlled mask when the door opened and Severus and Peter arrived in full uniform, masks in place and hoods raised. As spies they needed to conceal their identities, and they both were diligent in doing so.

As usual, Severus’ bow was as elegant and efficient as Peter’s was clumsy.

Not patient enough to wait through the whole greeting, Tom stood from his ornate throne-like chair and turned towards Peter to address him, sounding pretty harsh. “Go into hiding immediately. Don’t return home. Your cover is blown. I’ll be in contact. Dismissed.”

This duty taken care of, Tom turned towards Severus, not really paying attention to Peter bowing and moving to leave. It was important to warn the spy, but what he needed to talk with Severus about was both more important and  more complicated than  the warning to the cowardly wizard who had changed sides out of fear and not conviction.

Biting back a sigh, Tom sat back down in his throne, conjured a reasonable chair near where he was now sitting, and waved for Severus to come closer. Only when the man had complied did Tom notice how very tense his spy was.

“Relax and sit, Severus,” Tom said, working on maintaining a calm and collected tone. “You probably will learn about this soon. But you need more information than rumours.” Severus tensed even more, which hardly seemed possible. “James Potter is dead. Lily and her son live. I need you to be available should Lily contact you. If she needs help, provide what you can. Including information, as much as any recruit would be given. If she wants to pass on a message, or you need my direct involvement, you have permission to come here, unannounced, at any time of the day. Questions?” As Severus was one of his more intelligent Death Eaters, and usually quick on the uptake, Tom hoped that he wouldn’t need to repeat himself.

“Only one, my Lord.” The man’s velvet voice sounded from behind the white and silver mask.

“Which is?” Tom asked with forced calm, folding his hands in his lap in an effort to not go for his wand.

“Am I allowed to initiate contact, or am I to wait for her to contact me?”

That actually was a rather important question, and one Tom hadn’t considered. But as he had had his world upended less than an hour ago, he was willing to cut himself some slack. Within the blink of an eye, Tom came to a decision and gave Severus an answer. “Act  as you would have, had I not given you additional orders. I only want to make clear that you are not to push her with information she didn’t ask for. Any more questions?”

“No, my Lord,” was Severus’ answer, and Tom quickly dismissed the man so he could sit down with a good cup of tea to calm down, maybe meditate, and get his mind ordered again.

There wasn’t much he could do at the moment, besides trying to come to terms with what he had learned and come to a tentative plan on how to act on this new knowledge. Everything else depended on how Lily Potter would react to his note.

Waiting wasn’t something Tom was especially good at.

oooOOooo

The moment Lily opened her eyes, she was bewildered that she even could.

Voldemort had found them!

How was she still alive?

“Lily? Can you hear me?” Sirius’ concerned grey eyes came into focus before her where he was bending over her. It seemed as if she was resting on the small cot in one corner of the nursery.

She blinked once, twice, and then stumbled to her feet using Sirius to get up from the cot and make her unsteady way over to the crib. She needed to see her little boy.

Gripping the edge of the crib, using it to help her stay standing, Lily looked down on her baby, who was sleeping peacefully.

“He’s fine.” She was so relieved. Trembling, Lily slid down to the floor, settling with her back to the crib, facing the door. She turned her head to look over to Sirius, who was much paler than usual.

“James?” She dared not think what the answer would be. Dared not hope, she was still alive, Harry was still alive, but what of James? Could it be, please?

When Sirius shook his head, tears welling in his eyes, she knew what she had feared was true.

James was dead.

Voldemort had killed James.

But why only him? Why were Harry and  she still alive?

“He’s gone?” Lily wanted to ask if Voldemort was still near. If there was still danger, but she couldn’t quite find the words.

“You two are the only ones alive, besides me,” Sirius answered, face streaked with tears. And then suddenly anger overcame him. “Peter! That traitorous rat! I’ll kill him!”

Before Sirius could jump to his feet, wand in hand, to rush out of the house to do just that, Lily had grabbed his arm and held on for dear life. “Don’t leave us alone!” She couldn’t face this alone, she needed someone nearby whom she could trust.

And after a tense moment, it seemed as if Sirius came to the same conclusion, because the fire in his eyes dimmed, and the grip on his wand relaxed. “Of course,” he answered her, relaxing back onto the floor next to her. “I’ll stay with you.”

Lily later wasn’t sure how long they sat there, holding hands, listening to Harry snore, waiting for the Order to arrive. But when a sharp crack was quickly followed by another, both Lily and Sirius were on their feet in the blink of an eye, taking a defensive position between Harry and the door to the nursery.

When Albus’ long beard and one of his offensively bright robes became visible, Lily felt tension drain out of her she hadn’t realized had been there at all.

They were safe now.

“Oh, my!” The surprise both in Albus’ face and voice prompted Lily to turn to the crib and look at the wall behind it for the first time after Sirius had woken her.

There, right over the crib, on the wall in bright red, blazing letters stood, written in a flowing cursive:

_I’m not that easily fooled, Professor._

“What does that mean?” Lily asked of no one in particular, almost without intending to ask out loud. Why would Voldemort let the child prophesied to be his downfall, live? Why kill James, the wizard of pure blood in their family, but only stun Lily, daughter of Muggles? It didn’t make any bloody sense!

“Is Harry...?” Albus seemed rather reluctant to get any closer to the crib and let his question trail off without actually asking if her little boy was still breathing.

“He’s fine,” Lily almost snapped, unsure why she felt so defensive all of a sudden. Maybe the stress finally was getting to her.

The headmaster seemed shocked for a fraction of a second, and Lily wasn’t sure she had actually seen it, when a smile of sad relief overtook his face. “Then we should see to it to getting the two of you to safety. Maybe you can hide out with your sister for a few weeks? If you move out now, you might just avoid the Aurors sure to arrive soon.”

“Wait a moment, Albus,” Sirius interjected. “You can’t be seriously suggesting for Harry and Lily to move into a muggle house without any wards! She can stay at my flat! Or maybe go into hiding with the Longbottoms! No need to endure that sour woman!” Lily agreed with Sirius but didn’t say anything, instead picking up her little boy from the crib, now that there were two adult wizards present who could defend her should any threat make it to the house. Moving in with Frank and Alice seemed the best plan she had for the moment.

“Moving in with her sister, family, seems to be the best in my eyes. Hasn’t she a son of her own? She surely has everything Lily will need, and will be able to support her sister in the trying time to come,” Albus argued back, all grandfatherly concern and wisdom of the elder.

Lily felt her hackles rise at that casual mention of the mourning she was sure would hit her once she had the luxury to actually feel again.

“I will not go to Petunia. I can’t put her and her son and husband into danger. I’ll move in with Alice and Frank. They have the wards on Longbottom Manor, and more than one wand to defend those within.” And while James had easily gone along with all of Albus’ suggestions, she wasn’t going to let him push her around, now that she was alone in the world. “And why should I flee from the Aurors? Just because some of them might be on _his_ side? As long as you’re here, Albus, I would like to take care of my responsibilities. Giving my account of things is one of them.”

She already could see that Albus was willing to argue, but she turned in search of her wand, one hand holding her baby to her side, the other slipping into her robe pocket, checking if her wand was there. Had she left it downstairs in the kitchen? She should have insisted on carrying the wand in a holster all the time, and not agree with James that it wasn’t necessary in their home protected by the Fidelius.

She didn’t find her wand in that pocket, but she did find a folded piece of paper she couldn’t remember putting there. She got it out and unfolded it, reading it with growing confusion.

_I was surprised to meet you again. I really did enjoy our talk about old classics back then. Hope we can talk soon. You know how to reach me --Thomas_

“ _A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet”_

Where had that note come from? She would remember if she had gotten any mail and had n’t had time to read it. Wouldn’t she? But she had to concede that having a baby,  a toddler now, around all the time hadn’t been good  for her sleeping patterns. When Harry had had stomach problems and hadn’t slept more than half an hour at a time, both she and James had done some pretty dumb stuff. Could she have forgotten  that she had gotten this letter?

Rocking her little boy, Lily paced up and down in the nursery, ignoring Sirius and Albus still arguing, pondering the note. When her gaze drifted over the blazing letters put above the crib by Voldemort, something made the floating fragments of thoughts click in her mind.

Rose. Thomas, that handwriting both on the wall and on the note she had found in her pocket after being unconscious in his presence for an unspecified time…

The nice, friendly, funny, gentle man she had met that one evening, the man who was her little boy’s biological father was Voldemort.

But how could that be? She had seen him, nose almost missing, eyes red as blood, and with slits as pupils! The pale skin, patterned with scales… Were those glamours? Or had the attractive man she had slept with been an illusion?

In a daze Lily folded the note back up, and put it back into her robe pocket. How many more shocks would she have to endure today?

“Albus, it’s not your responsibility to decide where I will go with my son. Please make sure that the Aurors don’t take anything that isn’t theirs and that they find me so I can tell them what happened. Sirius, come with me, we’ll need to find my wand and pack a bag so Harry and I can stay over with Alice for the next few days.” Lily gave her orders, mind made up. She needed to get to a safe place, check her little boy over as she was pretty sure he was under some kind of sleeping spell, and then decide if she should confide in anyone about the identity of Harry’s father, or if she should contact the man himself. Now that she had an explanation of why her boy was still with her, she needed to know more.

“Let me at least check you and the boy over, Lily. Who knows what Voldemort might have cast on you both.” Albus tried for reasonable and helpful, but Lily didn’t want to hear any of it.

“Alice is very good at curse-breaking and her mother-in-law is competent in quite a few healing spells. We will be checked over once we reach their home.” Another series of cracks was heard from outside through the broken window and a small weasel-like Patronus came in through the floor. “Albus, Aurors are here!”

“I think you should take care of that. Sirius, come help me pack a bag and find my wand.” It was really cold in the room by now and Lily just wanted to take her boy and leave already.

Only once she was safely  ensconced in a guest room at Longbottom Manor, her little boy in a crib just next to her bed now sleeping without a spell on him, did Lily break down and cry for her husband. Dead. Killed with a spell cast by the man who was her little baby’s real father. Because there really wasn’t any other reason for Voldemort to  let Harry be.

Her mind was swirling with questions, speculations, and half-baked plans, grief and guilt. She had betrayed her husband that night, as he had betrayed her with the potion given without her consent. But how was this all even possible? What should she do? Could she go and speak with _him_? What did he mean, with his claim she knew how to contact him? Was that even a good idea? What would happen should someone learn she was the mother of Voldemort’s son?

That night and a few after that, Lily cried herself to sleep. Frozen in indecision over what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First published 13th of March 2020
> 
> last edited 22nd of April 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	2. Chapter 5 - Searching for Answers

It had been weeks since that fateful All Hallows eve, Samhain, Halloween, or whatever one would like to name it. Lily hadn’t been able to do much besides mourn, care for her little boy, and weather the aftermath of being attacked in her own home by the father of her son.

That she had had to defend Sirius from the Ministry and the Aurors, who had all been convinced he had been the secret keeper and therefore must have been the one to reveal their hiding place to Voldemort, hadn’t helped a lot. And the fact that the Headmaster hadn’t really put his foot down when Sirius had been taken in added another count against the man. His continued insistence that Lily should go live with her sister didn’t help either.

“Do you want another cup of tea before you leave?” Alice asked from where she was sitting on another loveseat easily able to look to where the two boys were playing on the floor, supervised by the nanny elf the Longbottoms had.

“No thanks,” Lily declined, smiling despite herself when Harry toddled over to her, proudly waving a small wooden dragon figure through the air. Both Neville and Harry still were too young to actually play together, but they made a cute picture nonetheless. “And thank you again for looking after Harry for the afternoon. I just need to go out for a while, get some fresh air.” That there hadn’t been any deaths connected to Death Eaters since James had been killed had kept the attention of the press firmly on her and Harry, making outings to any wizarding place a chore Lily tried to avoid as much as possible.

“Oh, no, that’s absolutely not a problem, dear!” Alice waved away Lily’s thanks. “With magic and the help of the house elves, looking after two boys really isn’t much work. And I think going out is a really good idea. Death Eater activity has been low, and if you stick to muggle places as you said you have planned, you might even get some Christmas shopping done. Don’t you worry, Harry will be fine til you’re back.”

Lily smiled again, unwilling to share her true plans. “I might do that.” She picked up her little boy, turned in a few tight circles, spinning around, Harry’s little legs getting thrown back, making him squeal in delight. He really was eager for high speeds and anything resembling flying.

Only a few moments later Lily was back in the room Harry and she had been living in, lots of their stuff crammed into drawers and wardrobes. She changed out of her robes and into Muggle-style clothes that would help her blend in where she was planning to go, while also keeping her warm. It was cold today.

Ever since _that day_ she had been pondering the two notes left behind in the nursery. The one that had been plastered all over the front page of the Daily Prophet, against Albus’ protestations, and the one she still carried around with her everywhere. She had spelled the little note to be unreadable for anyone but her. All the time since then she had been trying to understand it. The fact it had been written with a biro, of all things, still gave her pause. If _he_ had prepared the note in advance, it probably would have been spelled in some way, and written on parchment with a quill. This had led Lily to the realization that the existence of Harry had been a surprise for _Thomas_. A lot had happened in Lily’s head since she had found that note.

For one, she felt more and more fed up with her allies. Practically all of them insisted she should follow Albus’ advice without more explanation than she had been given. That he still wasn’t willing to reveal anything of the prophecy, and all the other stuff… Lily was considering her options.

The images of Voldemort and Thomas didn’t line up at all. Which character was a mask, which was real? There were many compelling reasons to believe that many aspects of Thomas she had liked, his jokes and prank ideas, his wit, were actually part of the person who also was Voldemort. Lily had spent a lot of time trying to look neutrally at the war they were fighting. James’ and her roles as simple soldiers following Albus Dumbledore and his stance of equality and more chances for muggle-born witches and wizards. The acts of Death Eaters who were following Voldemort and his stance of blood purity, dark magic use, and other things she wasn’t entirely sure about.

It hadn’t taken a long time for Lily to realize that, like so many other conflicts, it was a complex issue with propaganda from all involved trying to make the others look bad, making killing them so much easier. Lily wasn’t so sure about her sources any more. And she really wasn’t sure where to find untainted, objective information. She wasn’t even sure there was something like that to be had at all.

A lot of her thinking had circled around the simple statement she would know how to contact Thomas, and the fact that she truly hadn’t had an idea how to for a long time.

She couldn’t very well send him an owl, now. Could she? Thomas might be his actual name, or a frequently used alias – no mother would name a child Voldemort – but what of a last name?

When she finally realized that she knew one person she could get in contact with whom she firmly believed had joined the Death Eaters, she had felt like smacking herself in the face.

And so she had written a coded message, only too aware that she shouldn’t be caught getting in contact with a Death Eater, and sent it by muggle post to his old home in Cokeworth.

Beside her bewilderment over the discrepancies between what she thought she knew of Voldemort, and her impression of Thomas, her very real fear of what others might do to her little boy should they learn who his father was compelled Lily to do all this in utmost secrecy.

Today she would meet up with her childhood friend as they had arranged through a series of coded messages in search of answers. Or possibly at least hints at answers.

Checking that she had her wand at hand, as well as the two emergency portkeys she had charmed herself, Lily took up the hat, mittens, and woollen coat before turning towards the door out into the lavish hall – all those plasterwork details and portraits – closing the door behind her. She would have loved some backup, but in light of some remarks made at the last Order meeting, she didn’t dare get anyone involved.

Shaking her head at remembering the demand that Voldemort’s children, if he ever should have some, should be killed as soon as possible as they couldn’t be anything but evil and dark, Lily walked down to where Alice was watching over their boys to say her farewell. It was especially chilling because that demand, almost a proposal really, had garnered wide agreement and even laughs from the Order.

A quick apparation and walk later, Lily found herself in the park where she had met Severus for the very first time. It was covered in a thin layer of snow, rotting leaves, and mud, but still managed to engender some mixed feelings within her.

She walked around, keeping an eye out for Severus who certainly would be easy to spot against the whitish ground with his tendency to favour dark clothes.

And in fact, almost on the minute they had agreed to meet, Severus stepped through a gap in the bushes around the outer edge of the playground, looking to both sides, probably searching for her. He had dressed up muggle too, and seemed nervous until he spotted her.

They stopped walking towards each other, still a good stretch of ground between them, awkwardly searching for a way to start the conversation. In the end it was Severus who broke the silence.

“I was glad to hear from you, Lily. When I learned what had happened I sent a letter to you by owl, and even one to where Tuney now lives, in the hope it would reach you. I gathered from your note that that hasn’t been the case?”

Lily’s brow furrowed. “No, I didn’t get any letters. Why would an owl from you not reach me? I did get other owl mail. Various reporters have been able to contact me.” How curious, and suspicious. “I guess Petunia probably would have burned any letters for me. We’re not in contact any longer. She was pretty clear in her insistence I leave her and her _normal_ family alone.”

Severus only nodded and they started to walk again, falling into step with each other, following a path that meandered through the park.

“I know that you couldn’t really get into detail in your letters, so what exactly do you want to speak with me about?” Severus asked, now hidden behind the mask he had developed during their years at school and only at the end had started to wear around her.

“I wondered when you learned about the attack, and from whom, but don’t answer that. Some things haven’t really fit for a while now.” All that secrecy around the elusive prophecy Albus had claimed to have heard but never explained to anyone had been the first moment when Lily had started to ask herself questions, even when she had ignored the little voice in the back of her mind back then. “All I have heard about the various factions in this war is propaganda. And mostly from the Headmaster, the Ministry, and friends of James. And I’m wondering…” Back in fifth year it might have been peer pressure and a yearning for power and acknowledgement that had led Severus to lean towards the one called a Dark Lord, but why was he now, probably, a real follower in that group? “Why would an intelligent man like you choose to join such a terrorist group?”

“That’s a serious accusation,” Severus stated drily, not really confirming her claim, nor refuting it, folding his gloved hands behind his back. “But if you ask me to explain why a hypothetical young half-blood wizard might join that cause, I certainly can do that.”

Always with those word games, Lily rolled her eyes, but nodded, pushing a strand of hair back behind her ear. “That would be helpful.”

For a moment Severus was silent, before he started to talk in that clearly enunciated way he had trained himself into after being mocked one too many times over his lower-class accent. “I think you remember the many discussions we had about all the things my mother did around the house that my father didn’t approve of and how she simply should stop putting out fruit and milk for the fey and so on.” Lily nodded, she did remember those discussions. “There are a lot of old traditions that have been dropped out of Hogwarts and out of the public eye more and more, over the last four or so generations, from the small to the big, that honour magic and express our gratitude for _Her_ gift to us. Do you know why they have been pushed back, dismissed, and sometimes even forbidden?”

Lily shook her head and shrugged. “Because it’s just religion? Not founded in any facts, riddled with prejudices, hampering the development of society?” Lily felt that this was true for religion, what she had learned of it, all those antiquated views on women, marriage, the rearing of children. It was a stifling factor for any society in her eyes.

“And that’s just it, it isn’t only religion. Magic is a gift given to us, and just as it is able to break what you see as the laws of nature, it was given to us, and the fact that we are stopping giving thanks for that gift is causing more and more problems. Fewer children born with magic, those that are born weaker than was usual in past generations, more illnesses, shorter lives.”

Lily scoffed, interrupting Severus who had spoken with more passion than she had ever heard him talking about anything but Potions.

“I know you value science,” Severus said, sounding hurt, and Lily remembered her mother’s admonishment not to mock the religious beliefs of other people, which made her blush. “But this isn’t the first time Magic’s chosen have lost her favour. Do you have experience with house elves?”

Thrown for a loop, Lily needed a moment to answer, bewildered where Severus was going with this. “Yes. There are a few Potter elves I’m now responsible for. And I did interact with those elves that work at Hogwarts if you remember.”

“And you know all those stories of majestic elves roaming the woods of Britain?”

“Yes, but what has that to do –”

Severus interrupted her. “I have seen old chronicles of a time when the High Elves still existed as a diminished people, arrogant and convinced selective breeding would get them their magic back. Later, house elves made an appearance – they never had been mentioned before – and humans began displaying magic at levels never before seen. There aren’t many plausible explanations for that. I’m sure you can come up with quite a few, but what I believe is that we were gifted, that _**you**_ were gifted, with magic, and that we need to honour _Magic_ for that gift so that we and those that come after us can continue to enjoy the gift of magic.” Severus once again had become quite passionate, and now was taking measured breaths, probably to calm down again.

Lily was battling with what Severus had said. She wanted to dismiss this claim out of hand. There was no way there was a deity, entity, god, whatever, named Magic who had given her magic when her parents had none. There had to be another explanation. Like gene mutations, or something. There just had to be! But she also was adamant to use the scientific method, as her parents had instilled in her. Know that you are biased and try to look at gathered data aware of your own bias.

Severus was obviously biased too, but this was only her first foray into this belief system. She needed more information.

“Do you think I can get a look at those chronicles? See for myself the original source material, get a starting point to look at this?” Lily was pretty sure that this wouldn’t be something she would find at Hogwarts or Longbottom Manor. At least not easily. Or without any of her allies noticing. She was sure researching this topic would tip off some of the Order members to her recent conflict with everything she had believed in without question before.

“Those books are quite delicate and can’t be moved from their current location easily. But I can see if you can come visit?” Severus sounded unsure, but his offer was genuine.

“Please ask, thank you. But aside from that reason to get some of the old practices back into being… well, practised, by our whole society again. How do you justify the violence, the murders?” Because while she didn’t know if the goal was a valid one – if this even was the real goal and not something posed as a front – the methods certainly weren’t something she could approve of.

Severus sighed. “Have you kept close attention? While I have to concede that there was a rather rough patch there a few years back, shortly after we had left Hogwarts, it’s not like that now. If you look closely you’ll notice that there has been a shift.” Lily snorted. A shift? Just last week a Ministry official had been killed in his home. His wife and children were still scared to death. “Have there been any random raids? Children and other non-combatants killed? And what do you know of those targeted? Beside that they often claim to side with the muggle-born, the light.” Severus posed this question calmly, and Lily felt herself frown. It would have been easy to kill everyone, children and wife, but they lived. Just as she had. Why though?

While wandering around their childhood neighbourhood, Lily dissected all recent attacks on people she knew of and asked Severus his opinion, gathering more information than she got from the Prophet and the members of the Order of the Phoenix. She would get to the bottom of this. And hopefully also discover a way to go forward, knowing what she now knew about Thomas.

oooOOooo

The elf popped in on Tom having his usual break in the late afternoon, announcing that Severus was waiting at Headquarters. As he had specifically instructed Severus to come by anytime if he had something new to report on Lily, Tom now hoped that there finally would be some news.

In fact the long silence had been grating on his nerves. While he could understand the shock it must have been for her to realize who the father of her son was, he still had hoped she wouldn’t take quite so long to come to the formulation of some plan. There wasn’t even a little doubt in Tom’s mind that she had understood his note the moment she had read it. But with the fact he had killed her husband and all the propaganda she certainly had been exposed to, some reluctance to initiate contact was to be expected. And that reluctance also was the reason he had decided to let her set the tempo of their developing relationship.

At least he hoped that there was a relationship developing between them.

Interrupting his relaxing reading time, Tom got up, applied the usual glamours, and apparated over into the big hall next to his throne where Severus was waiting.

The moment his spy registered Tom’s arrival he went down on one knee, bowing his head, as usual in full uniform.

Tom sat down. “Rise, Severus. What brings you here?” Tom asked, projecting calm to hide his apprehensive mood. It had taken a long time for Lily to initiate contact with her friend, who had informed Tom of the meeting that had been planned for today.

Severus did as told and soon was once again standing at attention. “The meeting went well, my Lord. It seemed that not one of my letters reached her, which explains why it took some time for her to reach out to me. She didn’t bring up exactly why she initiated contact after all this time, but hinted at my allegiance. She asked for reasons why one might choose to follow you, my Lord. While I explained what you allowed me to reveal, she remained sceptical, as she isn’t one to believe in anything but what can be proven by scientific methods, but asked for an opportunity to see the ancient chronicles for herself.” Tom remained silent, not really willing to reveal his reasons for his interest in Lily Potter, and just too aware that Severus was intelligent enough to come to his own conclusions, given enough clues. The silence seemed to make Severus insecure, showing in small signs in the man’s posture and voice. “After she asked for access to the chronicles, she asked after the methods she has been seeing. I tried to subtly lead her to the realization that there really hasn’t been any senseless death, slaughter, or torture as the Prophet and the Ministry try to impress on the public, recently. I’m not sure if I was successful in convincing her of this.”

Severus fell silent again, maybe waiting for some questions or orders.

Tom pondered for a moment what he could do now. There still was no attempt from Lily to actually make direct contact with him. That she had asked to see some of the books he had found and rescued from being eaten by critters, burnt, or otherwise destroyed, couldn’t really be seen as an attempt to meet him as she had no way of knowing that he was the owner of them.

He would love to let her have a look at the chronicles, but didn’t want to deceive her on who she would meet if she actually did so. Was she ready to trust him that much with her safety?

Deciding on a tentative plan, Tom carefully formulated his orders for Severus. “Let her know that she is welcome to have a look at the chronicles, but that there’s a distinct possibility that she might not be ready to trust the owner of the books enough to actually enter a house under wards in his control.” Maybe she actually would be able to deduce from that who the owner of the books was. “Try to meet her again, offer regular contact and assistance of any kind she might need. Someone listening to her. Potions. Whatever she may need. I’ll cover any costs for potion ingredients if she is unable to cover them herself.” Would she take up the regency for the Potter family? Tom was fairly certain that Dumbledore would try to take control of the Potter seat himself, but what he had seen of Lily Potter so far made him believe that she wasn’t one to simply fold under slight pressure. “Offer her literature on the workings of our government so she can decide if she wants to take up the regency for her son.” Not that the little boy actually was a Potter. But as only two people knew that, everyone else would just assume that Harry was a Potter.

“Yes, my Lord.” Severus accepted the orders with a small, respectful inclination of his head. Then he waited again.

Tom refrained from sighing, but he really wanted to. This waiting was really hard on him. But he had decided to leave it up to Lily Potter to decide what to do, and despite how very much he didn’t want to be like his father, abandoning his own son, he also didn’t want to be his mother, pressing his attention on one unwilling to have it.

A very annoying conundrum.

“You’re doing well, Severus. Keep your ears and eyes open. Don’t get caught. Let me know the moment anything changes. Dismissed.” Tom waved a hand, and the moment Severus was gone from the room, slumped down in his throne and sighed just as he had wanted to.

Then Tom stood and straightened his spine. There was no use in brooding. Maybe he should go spy a little bit on his own. He still hadn’t found where Lily had taken up residence after she had left the cottage they had taken refuge in until Peter had revealed their location.

So Tom apparated back into his home, changed out of his Dark Lord robes and into some more comfortable, and less cumbersome, duelling robes, and checked the progress he had made on checking the different places Lily might have moved to that he could think of. The various inns had been checked first. Then Tom had started to take a look at the different homes of known or suspected Order members, and friends of the Potter family.

As he had started with places he knew had weaker wards, he wasn’t really surprised that he hadn’t found her and his son yet. For a while he had suspected that Mrs. Weasley, mother to six boys by now, might be in contact with Lily, which had led to his staking out the Burrow for several days. But after that he had decided that Lily Potter probably was closer to women she had gone to Hogwarts with than the older Molly Prewett.

The next one on his list to check was the home of the Longbottoms. The young couple, Alice and Frank, had a young boy close to Harry’s age who also might have fit the fragment of a prophecy, and lived with Frank’s mother, Augusta Longbottom. Beside the fact that they had been at Hogwarts at the same time, and had gone into hiding because of the same hogwash prophecy, the fact that they also were all working for the Order were all strong indicators that Lily might have gone there.

But the place also had really strong wards, so had been further down on the list of places to check.

In his animagus form, though, he should be able to slip through the wards without tripping them. Most places were not warded against animagi, as such wards tended to be complicated and had a tendency to have negative effects on other, more useful wards.

Which had proven useful for him many times.

A few apparation jumps brought him to a dense little wood close to Longbottom Manor, where he could transform and then fly over to the garden. He would need to stay in character, but should be able to take a good look around while pretending to search for food.

It didn’t take long until Tom the magpie had reached and crossed the wardline. Landing in a tree void of leaves – it was December after all – Tom took a good look around, searching for a bird feeder or some other place where he would be able to find some seeds. There were a lot of beds around, and mounds of leaves. Places where he could search for food and therefore check all around the manor for who was currently there. He certainly would be able to take looks into most of the windows as there was ivy on the walls, sporting small, rather tasty berries.

The perfect cover!

Hopping down to the ground to peck into one of a few fallen, wrinkled apples, Tom tried to plan out the best route around the building. He should check the most likely windows first. If a human came close he would have to be really careful to keep his true nature hidden which might require for him to flee before he could be certain if Lily and their son were here.

The apple was rather hard and dry, so Tom flew the short distance to a flower bed covered in leaves and brushwood, poking around with his beak in search of a few slugs, or insects.

It looked like he was sitting in a bed directly under a window. Quickly swallowing the small dried-up dog rose hip, Tom decided to risk peering into the window. Spotting an empty drawing room, the floor strewn with the toys of small children, Tom made his way over to an especially tasty bunch of ivy berries next to another window.

Which belonged to the same drawing room. The floral print on the chairs was hideous and worn. Probably some ancient heirloom.

In this way Tom worked his way around the house, from time to time chasing away some especially cheeky sparrows with his caws and flapping wings, filling his belly with tasty morsels picked from the ivy, different bushes, and beds.

On the south-west side of the house he came across a conservatory with glinting walls of glass, obviously filled with many lush green plants. That looked cosy. Fluffing up his own feathers, Tom trapped more air between them and his skin in an attempt to get a little bit warmer. This was a sunny spot on a sundial and a good, as well as believable, place to rest.

There was movement inside the conservatory. He needed to get closer to it and take a look at who was there.

Tilting his head from side to side, bringing the glass enclosed space into focus from different angles, and reflexively checking the sky above him for any birds which might attack a magpie, Tom decided to investigate a big stone near a door which looked a little as if it could be a birdbath. He was rather thirsty by now.

When Tom landed on the rim of what actually was a birdbath, a sound from the other side of the glass wall startled him into taking back to the air.

Had that been a screech?

Cautiously landing in another bush, his claws gripping the bare branches, Tom inspected the area, searching for dangers. Seeing nothing he carefully jumped down onto a lower branch and from there to the ground. Little hops brought him back to the big stone and up on the rim.

After he had taken a beak full of water – thankfully not frozen as there seemed to be a warming charm on the birdbath – Tom spotted two big shapes behind the glass and froze. When the two shapes didn’t move, he realized it was two women, each holding a small child in her arms, all looking at him.

He felt like preening and started to clean his black and white and shimmering blue-green feathers. He knew he was gorgeous to look at, and with the glass between him and the humans there was no need to flee as long as they didn’t move. It was perfectly fine for a bird to ignore humans it couldn’t really smell, who didn’t move, and were pretty silent. And it gave Tom an opportunity to actually look at the women and the two children.

Once he realized that one of the women was Lily, he concluded that the little boy reaching his little arms out as if to grab the pretty bird was his son.

He had found them!

But what now?

“Pretty bird!” One of the little boys stated with a comical amount of authority. Tom made a small inquiring sound, and hopped around the rim of the bird bath to get a better look at the awed faces watching him. Maybe he could make something of a regular occurrence out of this?

But what would Lily think once she realized he had essentially spied on her?

It all was rather confusing and frustrating.

“Yes, darling he really is a pretty bird, isn’t he? Well, hello there, Mr. Magpie. I hope all is well for you this winter.” That had been Lily, maybe following the custom of greeting a magpie to ward off the ill omen they often were considered as? That would be a promising sign. Tom gave a small bow and fluffed his feathers again. The sun was moving around and by now he felt the cold.

He could use himself as a messenger bird. Once he came up with what to write, anyway.

“Come eat! The soup is ready!” An older woman’s voice called from further in the house, and with an excited squeal the other boy, probably the youngest Longbottom, turned in his mother’s arms and loudly demanded to be carried towards the table.

Deciding that this would have startled any normal bird, Tom took wing and left the garden around Longbottom Manor. He would head home, get something more human-suitable to eat, and then get back to the law he had to draft up.

He felt calmer than he had in weeks, with the knowledge his son was in a safe place and was reasonably happy despite everything. Now he just needed to see how to get the whole being-a-father thing moving while also getting at least tacit approval from his son’s mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found the inspiration for Tom the magpie in samvelg’s “The Historic Importance of Runic War Warding in the British Isles” it simply is too good a fit for a sane-ish Voldemort/Tom. I simply had to re-use it here. Go over and read her story if you haven’t already. It’s not currently finished but what is there already is well worth a read!
> 
> First published 15th of March 2020  
> last edited 24th of April 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	3. Chapter 6 - Moving House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy that you seem to like it so far! I've got a few chapters written and am trying to space publishing them out over a longer time. I need to go over them once more and need to write on at the end of what I currently have.

Rolling her eyes, Lily ignored the Headmaster’s rambling behind her. He once again had come over to Longbottom Manor to try to talk her into moving in with her sister and her family. And as she had told him more than once, she knew that to be a bad idea. No way in hell was she going to expose her precious little boy to the jealousy Petunia always had expressed.

Harry was playing with a stack of blogs and a dragon figurine in one corner of the room, and Lily was painting runes on the back of the mirror she was currently enchanting, with a small brush made from unicorn hair, and a potion which she used as paint.

“Lily, you’re not listening to me.” Albus sounded exasperated and as if he wanted to make her feel guilty for not paying attention to his unasked-for advice.

“So I’m not. But I already told you that you’re wasting your time, as I do not intend, under any circumstances, to move in with Petunia. So you can stop trying to guilt me into doing what you think I should do. I’m an adult, Albus, please remember that fact.” Really, she got that he remembered her as a child, but he had recruited her and others from her year to fight in a war, so he’d better remember they were adults.

The Headmaster sighed, exaggerating his disappointment, making Lily roll her eyes again, before turning the mirror over to the reflective surface. His repeated attempts just made her tired of interacting with him.

“I wish you would consider that my life experience might be worth listening to, Lily. I have your best interests in mind. And those of your son. You surely can use some time away from all the hubbub and excitement, can’t you?”

Lily had to give it to Albus, he was persistent. But not much else by this time. “No, I don’t need to see you as all-knowing just because you’re older. I do know my sister, and living with her would not work out. Please accept that I know my needs and my sister better than you ever will. So stop and leave. I have an order to complete and would like to get that done, if you don’t mind.” She had turned to him during that small rant, glowering. If he wasn’t going to go now, she would call for one of the elves to get him thrown out, at least from her own room.

But it seemed as if her expression was clear enough as Albus seemed to deflate, donning an overly concerned and disappointed mask. “I see you’re set on your plan. Please know that I’m there for you should things not go as you seem to think they will. Have a nice day.” And with that he was gone.

Lily snorted after the door had closed on the man. His nerve. That she never really had seen this side of him while she had been at school... She really wondered how that was even possible. But maybe that was the nature of being one student among many, and now she suddenly was in his focus after that prophecy had been made and all knew when she was due. Before that, she had hardly ever received any special attention other than as James’ wife.

There was a distinct focus on wizards in their society that was getting on Lily’s nerves more and more.

After she had cast the required charms to finish the mirror, one intended for use in applying makeup either with charms or the manual way, Lily got up from her chair, stretched out her back with her arms over her head, and yawned. She probably should stop working for the day.

So she went over to sit with Harry on the floor, who laughed when he spotted her, holding out a green and slightly wet block in her direction. Smiling back, Lily accepted the block, starting a tower right in front of her crossed legs. “Are you having fun?” Harry held up his arms and gave an enthusiastic little scream. Lily laughed. “I see that you are.”

For a moment Harry passed various blocks over to Lily, who stacked them on top of each other, quickly needing to get up on her knees to be able to reach the top of their tower.

“I kind of think that Albus has a point with his attempts to get me to move out of Longbottom Manor. For one, I don’t want to impose on Alice and Frank.” Harry looked solemn and made some noises, interrupting Lily, who nodded as if he had said something of great importance. “I know that neither Frank nor Alice sees us as an imposition, but it’s still true that they have a permanent guest. And I think we need to change something.”

With a little shove from Harry the tower came tumbling down, any blocks that got even close to maybe hitting Harry floating slowly to the floor. Lily laughed and clapped right alongside Harry, so very happy that her little boy wasn’t aware of all her troubling thoughts.

“I think living in a place where I control the wards would be better. Maybe you wouldn’t have a live-in playmate, but I could keep Albus out. Maybe even let other friends visit. Like Uncle Moony. There’s always Potter Manor. Your dad James didn’t want to live there any longer after his parents died. Too many memories for his peace of mind, was what he said...” Lily trailed off and sighed. Now with what had happened at their little cottage, she thought she understood better. It would be really hard if she had to live there. But she didn’t have that many memories of Potter Manor, and the wards over there were pretty good.

“What do you think, Harry? Do you want to move into Potter Manor? There’s enough space for both of us and lots of cats.”

A seemingly casual but terrifying inquiry at Gringotts a while back had shown that Harry actually was registered as the Heir and entitled to everything that belonged to the Potter family. There also had been a letter from James for her which she had taken from the vault, but hadn’t dared to open yet. She feared that James might have noticed that he was unable to father a child and so had known Harry wasn’t his, that she had cheated on him. Lily wasn’t in the right frame of mind for something like that.

“I wished James and I hadn’t hurried so much with marrying. I thought I really knew him, but there were a few faults hidden…” She sighed again. There was no use in contemplating how long their marriage would have lasted, or how miserable she might have been. All those possibilities were gone now, only the complicated, tangled mess of Thomas and Voldemort and how much of which person was real left to cause her sleepless nights.

“Da!” Harry suddenly exclaimed, standing up in the over-complicated looking way toddlers used, concentrating on one of the French doors that looked out over the west side of the manor and the gardens covering the ground until they met the greenhouses. “Da! Birb!”

Lily turned and looked, doing a double-take when she spotted a magpie sitting there, holding a ribbon wrapped around what looked like a scroll of parchment in its beak. Harry made it to the glass, patting it with his hands, while repeating “Da!” at an astounding volume, before Lily had even gotten off the floor.

Who used magpies as messenger birds? They probably were intelligent enough, but owls were pretty omnipresent all over Britain.

“Hello there, Mr. Magpie. What are you doing here this fine day?” She carefully picked up her little boy. “Let’s see what the nice magpie has for us, shall we?” and opened the French door so she had a chance to see what that all was about.

The bird seemed curious and patient enough to wait for her to cast a few detection spells on the scroll. One of those charms was one Severus had developed well into fourth year – one of his first spells that actually worked out, in fact – and it lighted up the bird as something pretending to be what it was not, while the scroll remained without light. It was just that. A scroll of parchment.

But what was that bird?

When it blinked and then turned so it could get a look at itself, the bird seemed to slump as if unhappy with being found out. Then it gingerly laid the scroll down and waddled a few paces back from Lily and Harry before making a sweeping gesture with one wing in what looked like an elaborate bow. Then the bird took to the sky and seemed to head right for the ward line.

“Odd.” Lily murmured, carefully bending down to pick up the scroll, while also holding onto a squirming Harry who seemed sad that the bird had flown away. If it even was a bird. Lily wasn’t so sure of that anymore.

Once the door was closed again, and Harry distracted by a magical book with images of moving animals and magical creatures, Lily sat down in one of the armchairs, carefully unfurling the scroll.

It was written in a neat cursive that seemed vaguely familiar. After she had read the first few words it clicked and Lily felt a sudden urge to burn the letter, or at least toss it away as far as she was able.

But that urge was wrestled under control rather quickly. She had set out to find more information. She knew the source, and thought she was kind of able to gauge its veracity, so she shouldn’t waste an opportunity to learn more.

So she looked over to Harry to make sure he still was occupied and then started to read.

_Mrs. Potter,_

_I know that I certainly_ _am_ _not entitled to your time or any reaction to this letter. But after some deliberation, I realized that I might need to offer up some more information. No. That I should offer more information._

_First be assured that this letter is charmed to only be readable_ _by_ _the person touching it first after I have put it down. Feel free to add your own protection or burn it. Or whatever else you might feel necessary._

_Prior to that evening back at the beginning of November, I had no idea that Rose_ _was_ _a witch, nor that a child was born as a result of that night. While we both used muggle-worthy substitutions_ _i_ _n what we said, I didn’t invent anything. I really was quite frustrated with incompetent subordinates and in search of some distraction._ _T_ _he fact that I always cast contraceptive charms and your son is here now leads me to believe that your claim of being fe_ _d_ _some fertility herbs was true as well._

_You don’t need to fear another targeted attack by either myself or any of my servants. But to not draw unwanted attention to you and your son, I will not give out any specific orders to avoid harming either of you. I dare not imagine what Dumbledore might do should he even suspect the truth._

_You can send me a letter addressed to Tom at Beck Cottage if you place a hair of your son in the envelope. Should you want to ask me anything, or if you want to send a howler._

_I also want to extend an invitation for you to seek shelter with me should you ever fear for your life or that of your son. It might be hard to imagine, but I find myself invested in both your welfare._

_Sincerely,_

_Thomas_

Muggle-worthy? Was he alluding there to the Committee for Muggle-Worthy Excuses at the Ministry? Lily chuckled despite herself. That was the kind of wit she had enjoyed in her conversation with Thomas. Just as he had signed the letter, Lily believed that what he had written was actually sincere. And if an owl to that address was going to reach him, his real name certainly at least contained Tom in some way. She wasn’t all that clear on how an owl always was able to find whoever the letter was addressed to, but she knew that assumed names, as well as titles, nicknames, and names given by the parents worked. Including a hair was probably to bypass some wards based on familial relation. Thomas was Harry’s biological father, after all. She would need to check if there was a way to do nefarious things with hair alone before doing something like that, though.

And then Lily suddenly caught up to a small but significant detail of the letter. “After I have put it down,” she read out loud, her eyes going wide as saucers. That magpie had been Voldemort! Did people know he was an animagus? She didn’t think they did. Was that why the bird had seemed to deflate after it had lit up with that one spell? Because she would realize that the bird was Voldemort, Thomas, whoever?

Lily spent the rest of the day planning her move to Potter Manor, avoiding the implications of the letter. They had a large library with quite a few really old books there. Maybe she would be able to do some thorough research once she was secure behind her own wards and out of the eye of stalwart Dumbledore supporters.

oooOOooo

Tom was sitting in his throne, forcing himself to pay attention to the reports from the Ministry his Death Eaters were giving him. Ever since he had delivered the letter to Lily Potter in his animagus form he had worried what that spell had been she had been using.

He hadn’t seen it anywhere before! Not something that happened all that often. He even knew quite a few uncommon household and cleaning spells.

One thing was probably pretty sure, she knew something had been up with the bird delivering her letter. Hopefully she hadn’t told anyone. But considering the risk in having to explain why and how she had come by that information, she probably had not.

He forced his focus back to the present and the reports just a moment before one of the officials in the Floo-office took his turn. “Today the reactivation form for the main floo in Potter Manor came to my desk, my Lord. It seems as if the building will be used again soon.” That was an interesting development. Unconsciously Tom sat up a little bit more.

“I can confirm that, my Lord,” another Ministry worker spoke up. “I overheard Auror Frank Longbottom speak to one of his colleagues in the elevators that he and his wife will soon no longer have any guests in their home. He seemed more happy than troubled.”

“That’s interesting. So Mrs. Potter moves out of a friend’s house to go back to her own?” Tom made sure to inject rather more sarcasm than necessary. Then cursed himself. Deflecting too hard from a topic was just as likely to draw attention as actually expressing interest would. Under normal circumstances he was much better at this.

“How are our amendments to the procedures to acquire exceptions off the restriction of underage magic going over with the committee?” Better deflect the topic altogether and get to something that would hopefully hold his attention for a while.

When the meeting was finally over and all the Death Eaters had left, Tom got up from his seat and walked around to get his circulation back up and the kinks out of his back.

So Lily was moving back to Potter Manor. Did it have something to do with his letter? A disagreement with Dumbledore? Maybe just a wish not to depend on a friend any longer? Just too many possibilities to be sure of what might have caused her to move.

Running a hand over his glamoured face, Tom stopped by the window and looked out over the grass speckled with red, brown, and yellow leaves.

He wondered if there would be snow for Yule.

He was just about to leave for home when he felt someone arrive through the wards. Heaving an over-dramatic sigh – the reports from the Ministry had been tediously long – Tom made his way back over to his throne, casting a stronger cushioning charm at it before settling down.

He perked up instantly the moment he recognized Severus by the man’s movements. There was a good chance that Severus would bring him news of Lily and his son, coming here without being called.

Waiting for his spy to go down on one knee in respect, Tom tried to gauge if the other was nervous, worried, or affected by some other emotion that would indicate bad news. But would news Severus thought bad actually necessarily be bad news in Tom’s eyes? Dismissing such idle musings, Tom addressed the kneeling man. “Rise, Severus. What news do you bring?”

Severus inclined his head, and started to speak. “Today I found another letter from L… Mrs. Potter at my home. She asks for another meeting and if I would help her research some things. In particular, she asked me to compile a list of all potions I can think of which need human hair as an ingredient. And while she didn’t come out and say so, I suspect that she wants to know about potions that could harm her. But I don’t know why she would worry about something like this now, nor why she would ask me for help. She also informed me that she’s moving back into Potter Manor to have wards around her that she can control.”

Tom didn’t really pay attention to Severus falling silent after that last bit of information, his mind already moving quickly through all the implications those few sentences held.

It was good to know that Lily Potter hadn’t sent a letter yet because she wasn’t interested in communication, but because she wanted to make sure she wasn’t handing him a weapon against her or their son. Of course there was a lot of harm one with the right knowledge could inflict when being in possession of even a single hair, but it was reflecting positively on the witch that she would take precautions.

“She really seems to be a more sensible witch then her willingness to marry James Potter led me to believe. I think I slowly begin to understand how a man as Slytherin as you could have been friends with her for so long.” And marrying a rich man and only heir to a big family fortune was a rather Slytherin move as well. Ambitions to rise in society were common, and attractive women often went that traditional route because it was something accepted in their society.

Severus didn’t visibly react to that statement, nor did he say anything. But what should he have said anyway?

“Did she give you a deadline?” Maybe Tom could contribute some of the better known targeted poisons and a few rituals using hair to Severus’ list.

“She invited me over for Boxing Day.”

Tom hummed, that wasn’t that far off any longer. “Come back tomorrow so I can add a few more interesting bits to your research for Mrs. Potter.” Now Severus flinched. It seemed as if Tom had managed to surprise the man more than a bit.

Good.

“Yes, my Lord.” Severus accepted the order and then hesitated for a moment before gathering himself up to pose a question. “So I have your permission, my Lord, to accurately inform her of everything I know that can be done with a single human hair?”

“Yes. Please make sure to be thorough, and if she should have more questions you can’t answer, bring them to me. I’ll contribute as much as I'm able.”

Tom was still smirking when he came home and removed the glamours and his voluminous black robe. Severus had been so off balance after Tom had volunteered himself to help inform Lily Potter of the dangers inherent in the magical world that he had stumbled and almost fallen over the hem of his own robes when he had turned to leave after being dismissed.

Ruffling the Potions Master’s feathers always was fun.

Tossing his robe over a chair standing in the apparation room, Tom made his way out into the hall and to the kitchen. He was hungry and intent on making himself a portion of scrambled eggs with a few vegetables. Should the elves stand in the corner by the oven and wring their hands, he didn’t care this evening. He needed to make something for himself once in a while. The eggs the elves made might have been better, but knowing that he wasn’t dependent on anyone just was important. Making sure he could get himself fed simply was one of the things he needed to do from time to time.

“Don’t fret,” Tom demanded maybe ten minutes later. “If you need something to do so desperately, you can wash my robe, change the sheets on my bed, and then dust all the books in the library.” Maybe that list of chores would keep the two elves out of the kitchen until after Tom had finished his meal. It was _not_ funny how easy they managed to make him feel guilty for making them this anxious because he wanted to cook for himself.

And as usual Tom had not added enough salt – which was easily taken care of by sprinkling on more – and had a mix of pieces that were too soft and too hard. But it was edible, and that had been the point.

The moment Tom had left the kitchen, after spelling everything he had used to clean itself, he heard the elves pop back in and start to chatter excitedly in their high-pitched voices. He rolled his eyes, shook his head, and simply went over to the rooms he was currently renovating. First he had added quite a few enchantments so the one guest bedroom would be more of a suite consisting of two bedrooms, a living space, and the original bathroom. And now he was adding enchanted windows, security and privacy wards, as well as a little decoration.

He had selected the windows down on the ground floor looking out onto the herb and potions garden as the view for the charmed windows. It was the nicest view his cottage had. It had been an obvious choice.

The colours for the rooms were harder. Instead of picking something, Tom had reasoned should the intended inhabitant ever actually live there, she could change the colour to her liking anyway. So he had charmed everything in the living space and the master bedroom fairly neutral colours, tan and cream and the like. Today he wanted to take care of the only room left.

What to do for Harry?

Flicking his wand at the walls, Tom changed the colours between different shades of green, blue, yellow, even red, and tried different patterns as well. The red was much too loud, and any greens might be interpreted as a not-so-subtle attempt to influence Harry towards Slytherin. Which would only be a natural action, but Tom really didn’t want to appear that obvious.

In the end he settled on a light blue nearer to the ceiling, with white fluffy clouds, a grass green border near the floor, charming the carpet to match, and some trees and bushes in between to simulate an airy stretch of woods. Maybe he could add animals and a way to imitate the weather later. This way the room was mostly green, and it was a much subtler way to get Slytherin’s colour in there.

When Tom went to bed a little later – enjoying the fresh linens, a true luxury – he pondered just before slipping into sleep if it would make him happy if Lily fled to him fearing for her and Harry’s life, or if it would be better she was safe at Potter Manor, never coming to use the room he had prepared.

The possibility of her choosing to come life with him didn't even enter his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First published on AO3 18th of March 2020  
> First published on ffnet 1st of May 2020
> 
> Last edited 1st of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	4. Chapter 7 - Yule

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really the right time of year with spring making it's first steps. But You're lovely comments are fuel for the muse and have inspired me to write more (on a later chapter, this one was fnished) so to get more inspiration from you, have another chapter!  
> Try to stay save!

Potter Manor had been decorated with a lot of ivy, branches of fir, and other evergreens, all wrapped with ribbons. Lily was rather happy with the way it all had turned out. And she was happy with the way the elves of the Manor had smiled and enthusiastically had started to do her bidding when she had informed them she wanted the manor decorated well before Christmas in the traditional colours and the way Lady Dorea had always liked it.

She had stayed intentionally vague, wanting to see what that actually was going to look like. Ever since they had moved into the Manor, she and her little Harry, she had spent a lot of time in the library. While reading, Severus’ claims of magic needing them to worship it for them to retain it had been rolling around in her mind, so she had decided that the traditional Yule, being another festival celebrating the return of the light, seemed tame enough to investigate more closely.

The fact that it was the closest time-wise had played a part in that decision.

Inviting someone whom she knew well enough to judge reactions and motives – or so she believed, anyway – to help her understand some of the traditions.

She had seen and been surprised by the decorated trees around the whole park, strung with garlands of fruits and nuts, for the birds and wild animals as the head elf had explained, as well as the tree decorated with clay ornaments which was occupying the big entrance hall.

She had known that Christmas had heavily borrowed from the religions and practices it had encountered on its spreading out over the world, but actually seeing it like this was something that drove it home.

Harry was delighted with all the decorations and the smells. Last year he had been too small to take any really notice of the changes around this time of year.

“What do you think, Harry? Are we ready for our guest?” Harry was currently playing with a ball of crunched wrapping paper, not paying the toy that had been wrapped in it – a small stuffed lion – and looked up with a happy grin on his face when he heard his name.

“You haven’t met him yet, but a childhood friend of mine will be coming by for a meal. We had a big row when we were still in school.” It felt a little silly speaking to Harry like he would actually understand everything she said. But without regular adult contact, Lily had gotten into the habit. And it was probably good for Harry’s development of language and learning to speak. Or that what was she was going with, anyway.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Lily picked Harry up, who insisted on taking the wrapping paper along, and went up to the nursery. This place was much too big for only two people living there. But as long as Remus was so heavily indebted to the Headmaster and Sirius was fixated on thinking in stark contrasts of black and white, there really wasn’t anyone she would invite to live with them.

When there was a knock on the door, Lily was walking down the big staircase with Harry walking beside her, a death grip on the handrail, or more accurately the upright turned pieces of wood holding the handrail up, moving slowly down one step at a time.

Lily let one of the elves open the door, staying by Harry’s side to prevent a tantrum from happening. It might sometimes feel so very slow to wait for her baby to do things on his own, but he wanted to, and how else would he learn?

As she had expected, it was Severus at the door.

“Hello, Lily.” He sounded hesitant, holding a cloth-wrapped bundle in his hands, a heavy cloak pinned at his throat, gloves on his hands, and a pointed dark green hat on his head. It was a look that was kind of odd. Had he washed his hair?

“Hello, Severus. Please do come in. As you see, getting down the stairs will take a little longer.” She waved at little Harry who had decided to sit down on the step and more like slide down from one step to the next then climb as he had done before.

“I do see,” was all Severus said to that, taking a few steps to get out of the door and into the entrance hall.

Once Lily and Harry had made it to the ground floor, Harry hid behind Lily’s legs as she walked forward to greet her once friend and maybe potential ally. “Thank you for accepting my invitation. I hope you’re hungry? I asked the elves to prepare a nice meal for us. It has been smelling amazing in here ever since we finished breakfast.”

“I could eat something,” Severus said and then seemed to remember he was holding a gift and awkwardly held it out towards her. “Thank you for the invitation, I brought you something.”

Once Lily had accepted the heavy bundle and taken a peek to see that it was a bottle of something and a wrapped loaf of fruit bread, Severus divested himself of his outer clothes, handing them over to the elf kind of hovering nearby.

“That bread looks delicious. Did you make it?” Lily had always claimed that someone that good at potions simply had to be able to bake and cook, and Severus had disagreed.

“No. They’re on offer in a nice little bakery off of Diagon. I didn’t have the time to actually clean the kitchen after I finished my last experiment, and I didn’t think you’d want to risk odd potion ingredients having even odder effects on anyone eating a slice.” Severus spoke in such a dry, deadpan voice that he made Lily smile.

He hadn’t lost one bit of his sarcastic snark, and how she had missed it.

“Well, then, we’ll get to test that later. Let’s go over into the dining room.” Severus followed her, his robes not as threadbare as many of his clothes had been when they had been children, and his stance relaxing with each step.

Lily sat Harry down in his high chair next to her own and waved for Severus to take the one right next to her where they would be able to converse easily.

“I asked the elves to provide a meal like Dorea and Charlus usually would have it. I hope you can tell me a little if any of it matches what your mother would have made. As I haven’t been doing much besides enchanting mirrors to sell and reading books from the library here, I’m now curious to get another view on the whole Yule thing.”

Severus snorted then gave Lily a raised brow. “ _Thing_?”

Lily waved her hand and filled Harry’s plate with what looked like a pudding with lots of apples, dried plums and other unidentifiable chunks of chopped-up fruits and nuts, handing Harry his small spoon so he could feed himself. “You know what I mean. You were the one claiming the traditions were important for the very existence of magic. Don’t blame me for being curious now about what they actually are, and wanting to educate myself.”

“It would be nice if you tried to be a little respectful about your curiosity,” Severus pointedly stated, filling his own plate with a piece of pork roast, a mixture of root vegetables and what looked like mashed potatoes.

Lily sighed, but had to concede his point. Despite how little her parents had thought of any religion, how sceptical she might be, if she wanted to understand the religious and cultural background of the magical part of Britain, she needed to be polite and respectful about asking Severus a ton of questions. “I’m sorry.” With a quick grab Lily prevented the plate Harry was eating out of from falling to the floor, one good sticking charm later, she turned back to Severus. “You’ve seen a bit of how the house is decorated, and you see what we have to eat. Is any of this thought of as significant?”

“Most of what I have seen could be.” Severus waved with his fork over the plate and made a gesture towards all the bowls and plates placed around them. “I would guess that all this was grown on land belonging to the Potter estate?”

“That’s what the elves told me. James didn’t want to live here any longer after his parents had died – too many memories – but we still got a big part of our food from here. There are some fruit trees around, and an herb and vegetable garden,” Lily answered, once again feeling a stab over the fact that Harry was considered the heir, but wasn’t actually James’ son. Living here was a constant reminder of her unvoiced dissatisfaction with her marriage and her decision to get back at her late husband by searching for pleasure with another man.

Not that she regretted having had Harry. But some days it felt a little like karma or something did exist and was having fun with her.

“Well then, eating food grown on your own land, and sacrificing some at either an altar or a circle of standing stones, or a single standing stone, or another sacred place is usual for all major sacred days.” While they ate Severus continued to explain the meaning of evergreens, the constantly burning fires, the feeding of the birds and wild animals around, why red was so important, and so on and so on.

Lily listened and asked questions from time to time. But in essence, most was either thought to ward off evil spirits, encourage the return of the light, or in honour of magic which was present all around them in nature all the time.

Nothing that would justify banning the performance of the small rituals connected to the season, though. Where was the harm in hauling a big chunk of wood to be burned into the house, or a specific spot used for that very purpose in communities? In fact, that very act was close to the Christian Easter bonfires taking place each year.

They moved over to one of the more formal parlours, which was made a lot less formal by the addition of a playpen and a lot of Harry’s toys, after they had finished their meal with some frozen dessert made from dried berries.

Lily sat down with a sigh across a small table from Severus after she had settled Harry in to play. He was happily prone to playing quietly or lying down to sleep just after eating. “Did you find time to investigate my question?”

“The question about hair and what can be done with it?” Severus asked, looking as if he was tensing a bit after he had been rather relaxed during their meal and impromptu lesson on Yule traditions and their connection to Magic.

“That’s the one,” Lily said, nodding, rubbing her stomach. That had been a lot of really good food.

“I did have time.” Severus nodded as well, hesitantly. “And I had access to a… source I didn’t expect to have access to, so the list got rather long.”

Why did he look apprehensive? “A source you didn’t expect to have access to?” Lily gave her old friend a small suspicious glare. “Did you comb through, I don’t know, the Black library?” She knew from Sirius that quite a few of his family members had at least considered joining Voldemort at one point or the other, and that they had quite a collection of dangerous books in the various properties.

When Severus snorted and changed his posture so he had his elbows on the arms of the armchair he was sitting in and his face in his hands, Lily frowned in confusion.

“Is something wrong? Severus?” Her quip with the Black Library had been meant more as a joke, but it seemed she somehow had hit the nail on the head.

A resigned laugh came from Severus, who changed his posture again, now leaning back in the armchair, almost slouching, looking up to the plasterwork on the ceiling. “Is something wrong? I’m not entirely sure.”

Lily decided to give him some time. Pressuring him in an attempt to get him to tell something never had worked in her favour.

“When I realized that you and your unborn child would likely be targeted because of some vague reference to a prophecy… I went to Dumbledore asking him to protect you and begged the Dark Lord to spare you should he go. He said he would consider it. Dumbledore didn’t promise a thing, but demanded that I spy for him. I agreed.” Lily blinked, surprised. Severus had been a spy, had brought the warning that had sent the Longbottoms and her family into hiding? “Then the night of the attack I was called to… _him_. He also warned whoever gave your position away.” To Lily’s questioning look Severus shook his head. “I don’t know much, he’s shorter than me, but that’s about it. Spies are expected to conceal their identity all the time.” Lily nodded in acceptance and waited for her friend to finish. “He told me to make contact with you and to offer assistance in any way, shape, or form. He also said I was to give you any information that a recruit might get if you should ask for anything. He and his collection of books is the unexpected source and the reason my list grew substantially even beyond potions.” Severus gripped his hair with one hand, pulling at it. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I’m so very glad that you are still here, and I understand should you wish to cast me out but… I had to do something, Lily.”

Thomas really was a Slytherin, wasn’t he? Setting her once best friend on her to offer a way to open communications. It was a good move, but it left poor Severus in a really uncomfortable position.

“So you’re a spy for both major factions in this conflict?” Lily asked, before adding another question once another thing occurred to her. “You are still spying for the Headmaster, right?”

“After a fashion. Yes. I’m working on some adjustments to popular potions, to make them last longer, be more efficient, have fewer interactions. That kind of stuff. The Dark Lord seems to have decided that having a kind of envoy for you is more important than anything else I might do, and he knows Dumbledore doesn’t trust me. I haven’t told the Headmaster anything about my orders in regards to you and your son, so I basically have nothing to tell him.” Severus shrugged, still looking wary.

Lily’s gaze had wandered over to Harry, who was playing with a soft book made from fabric, showing a lot of cute colourful scenes. So just after Thomas had killed Lily’s husband and learned about Harry, he had called his spy – Peter, that traitor – to warn him and the one he knew cared about Lily to set up a way to offer up… a truce?

Could she really tell Severus the truth about Harry? All the truth? It wasn’t her secret alone. And it kind of felt as if she couldn’t just tell Severus without asking Thomas about his opinion. At least she couldn't tell Severus that Voldemort, Thomas, was Harry’s father.

But maybe she could tell what was for her to decide whom to tell.

“James was infertile. I didn’t know for the longest time, but he couldn’t father children. And I don’t know if he ever realized. He was set against seeing a healer about our problem conceiving. He went so far as to feed me fertility potions. I was furious.” Lily wasn’t looking at Severus, but heard the chair protest when he gripped it too hard. “I had a one-night stand. James was ecstatic when I told him that I was pregnant. I realized soon after that James couldn’t be the father and decided to make sure he never would find out. I guess you know of the potion which an expecting mother can take to change the appearance of the child to match a different father?” She looked up and saw a rather complex expression on Severus’ face, but he nodded. “I prepared it and took it, that’s probably why Harry has that terrible hair. Anyway.” Lily waved her hand and changed topics. “That night when I came to after that stunner there was a letter in my pocket. A request to speak, and a cryptic message claiming I knew of a way to contact him. It took me embarrassingly long to realize I could talk with you.” She shook her head once more. “Have you a way to know how much he values family?”

“Family?” Severus echoed, blinking slowly. “He tends to speak a lot about the value of family and puts a lot of emphasis on his connection to Slytherin. So I guess he would feel at least a passing interest in any family connections… do you think he found something that led him to believe you were related somehow? And that’s why he changed his approach so drastically?” Oh they were related through Harry alright, but with how closely related the magical community was and how little Lily knew about the family of her grandmother on her mother’s side, there was a possibility she was related to one or several of the established magical families.

“Maybe? I don’t know. It’s not as if we’ve met and talked,” Lily scoffed. “He managed to send me a letter.” She still couldn’t quite wrap her head around that situation. “But it only was more vague expression of interest in meeting and talking, as well as an offer of sanctuary if I ever needed a safe place to be.” She stopped there, because it was obvious why he had offered with Harry being his son, but Lily didn’t really want to bring that up.

Severus blew out a breath, searching for words. “That’s pretty insane. But I guess it would explain a lot. Your sudden interest, my change in assignment… Do you want to meet him?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it? I’m not sure yet. I’m curious, no way can I deny that.”

“You always have been more curious than was good for you.” Severus quipped, but fell silent on her playful glare.

“It’s a risk though. While your claim that the violence and senseless destruction was going back is true, you can’t deny that I have fought against him quite loudly, and the way the press tries to paint me and Harry either as heroes or villains doesn’t help any.” She sighed again. Then she looked over to where Harry had curled up with his blanket and was sleeping. “Show me that list of malicious magic one can do with the hair of another.”

Severus got out the list, Lily called for the bottle Severus had brought as a present and the fruit bread to be brought in, and they started to go through the list.

It didn’t take long for Lily to be horrified by the human mind and its inventiveness. She would have to read a book about the history of healing after that so she would sleep without nightmares this night.

oooOOooo

“Blessed Yule, Severus. Please come over and sit.” Tom waved for Severus to take a seat at the little table he had asked the elves to set up, offering mulled cider and a cake-like fruit bread with hazelnuts. “How did your meeting with Mrs. Potter go?”

He was anxious to learn of what they had spoken about and if Lily was now more or less willing to send him letters. He had debated if he should send a present to them, but ultimately had decided against it. He had set out to leave the pace up to Lily, sending presents would put pressure on her.

Severus had murmured an appropriate answer and settled down in the chair, removing his mask in reaction to the implied order. How should he eat and drink when his mouth was covered, after all?

After having taken a sip from his warm drink, Tom returned his attention to Severus, who was pale and seemed ill at ease. Not really anything unusual, but somehow it seemed that the spy was more tense than usual.

“Talk, Severus. I know there’s something you don’t want to tell, but as I already know, you should rather get it over with.” Severus took a sip and then sat the cup down, bowing his head.

“I’m sorry, my Lord. The meeting went well, but I’m unsure if you will approve of the information I have relayed to Lily.”

“And what is it that you think will displease me?” Now Tom was curious why Severus had revealed something he thought his Lord wouldn’t approve of. Had Lily asked something so pointed that Severus had answered without thinking and only later had realized that he shouldn’t have done so?

“I told her of your involvement in the creation of the list, and when she asked about how much you value family, my Lord, I said that I had the impression that family was not unimportant for you.” It was funny under how iron a control Severus had his face. Only because he was so very pale and sweating did Tom know how nervous the man was.

“That's good, Severus. I do want her to know that I value family, and that I was involved in creating the list… well, she isn’t stupid, she would have noticed that not everything on there was potion related. Relax.”

Severus seemed bewildered but there was tension draining out of him, so Tom’s words had worked. “Tell me what she thought of the list.”

Severus broke his slice of fruit bread into smaller pieces, gathering himself and probably ordering what he wanted to say. “She was rather interested in learning about Yule. She had let the elves decorate the whole Manor the way Dorea Potter, formerly Black, would have had it decorated. We had a traditional meal, and later started on the list. She was rather horrified by some of the things on it.” And then Severus started to go into details.

They talked for hours and late into the night, getting new drinks, black tea after a while, and more to eat in intervals.

Later Tom had gone to bed, and dreamed a lot of strange things, leaving him feeling rather exhausted the next morning. On a whim he wrapped himself in several layers of wool and silk, going outside for a walk. What Severus had told him had been promising. She was considering contacting him, had asked Severus for information, and was researching the Potter family's old traditions, drawing parallels, and starting to question things.

Why had he decided to let her set the pace again? He really was anything but patient most of the time. He really wanted to see how his son was. He didn’t want to be like his own father. But there were great chasms between them he wasn’t sure how to cross.

After almost an hour of walking around near his home, picking up a few really pretty stones, he decided that having a look at Potter Manor wouldn’t be anything dangerous. He had inspected the wards around Longbottom Manor while his son had stayed there. Taking a look at the wards around his son’s new home was only a sensible precaution.

So Tom apparated as close to Potter Manor as he could before transforming into his animagus form and then flying into the air.

It was a long flight and he felt the muscles of his wings burn a little when he found a nice perch, in a beech, near the ward line and started to have a good look at the wards. They were strong and complex, but like most, didn’t include wards against animagi, and also none against him personally. Adding such wards wasn’t easy, but the Potter vaults should be deep enough to cover the costs of hiring a professional and there had been enough time to get the wards altered. Maybe she didn’t want to keep him out?

It was also possible that she wasn’t aware such wards even did exist.

The house was decked out just as Severus had described and there were quite a few places where a bird might find nourishment after a long flight. As he had skipped breakfast – he would get a lot of reproachful looks from the elves once he was home again – and had walked and flown for hours by now, Tom was quite hungry. So he carefully started to glide through the wards, landing near one of the decorated trees with care, looking around and startling a flock of starlings with his presence.

The apples looked a little wrinkly already, and there were a lot of empty nut shells around, but to his bird instincts this looked like a veritable feast. So he hopped over, eyeing everything until deciding to pick out some raisins from the dish of oats.

“Hello, Mr. Magpie,” a not unknown voice suddenly said from behind him. Giving an undignified noise, Tom fluttered his wings and jumped sideways.

“You know, when I saw the bird feeding places I thought of your last visit. And asked myself if you would eat from them as you did at Longbottom Manor. I think I have my answer.” Lily was talking almost conversationally, wand in hand, stance careful and almost perfectly copied from a manual of formal duelling.

Tom irritatedly fluffed his feathers until he knew he must look ridiculous. It was cold and he felt unbalanced. It wasn’t nice to be sneaked up on.

“Don’t look like that. You have invaded my wards. And are eating at my table… kind of. There is a small creek over there.” She pointed towards the south edge of the property. “If you’re thirsty as well as hungry.” It was an odd offer, but Lily didn't linger on it, speaking on, “I’m thinking about meeting with you. But I need to find someone to look after Harry in that time. And I can’t stay long now. So be welcome to the food you find here and then leave. I need more time to think. But we’ll speak sometime soon. If you want you can deliver another letter. To the owlery!” She held her finger up in warning. “I would be interested in more information on you. Not politics, not this conflict, you.”

Tom cawed, hopped a little from side to side, and back to the dish with the raisins. Then he gave what he hoped would be understood as a nod, and went back to partake of the Yule meal she had offered to him. He should scatter some seeds on his way home and maybe also around both Headquarters and his own cottage. With the weather this damp and cold, the birds surely would be happy to find more food.

“Very well, Mr. Magpie. Have a good flight back home.” Tom was sure if his form had turned out to be a peacock he would be preening under her gaze. She was an attractive woman, even more so without the glamours she had used that night. And she wanted him to write something about himself.

That should be possible. But which information would be useful? He shouldn’t lie, but he didn’t need to tell her everything, or the most incriminating stuff. And some things certainly didn’t need to be told in detail.

Lily Potter was gone rather quickly, probably because she didn’t feel comfortable leaving Harry alone for an extended time. There seemed to be some small detection ward hidden among the complex ward matrix around the grounds. A good idea. She had known he was there, and would probably be informed every time he crossed the wards. If it took too long for her to send a letter of her own, he probably would visit again, and in such circumstances the wards would come in handy.

After a small rest at the water Lily had mentioned, Tom flew home, already trying to compose the letter with the personal information Lily had asked for.

Maybe he should mention his birthday along with his name – which would open up new research avenues for her – and his favourite food. Was there a list of things people did typically know about each other when they were close?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First published: 21st of March 2020  
> First published on ffnet 2nd of May 2020
> 
> Last edited 2nd of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	5. Chapter 8 - Letters

In the time between Christmas and the turn of the year several letters travelled between Potter Manor and Beck Cottage. A magpie and one owl were taking turns carrying the letters between those places.

Hello,

I’ve been debating how to address you and didn’t come to a conclusion. So I decided to simply ask. How should I address you?

As we never actually were introduced properly, let me do so now. My full name, as given by my mother, is Tom Marvolo Riddle. I guess you could confirm that with the Headmaster, who was my Transfiguration Professor when I attended Hogwarts, but that probably wouldn’t end too well. He never did like me.

My mother died in childbirth, so I grew up without her. Father left her while she was pregnant, so I never knew of magic until Dumbledore brought me my letter.

I only learned later that my father left my mother to fend for herself, heavily pregnant and without resources, in winter, in London. Later I found him, hoping to learn he would somehow be interested in getting to know me. He  was n’t. I guess there were extenuating circumstances, as my mother used a love potion to get him to marry her. I don’t really know how he escaped, but he had chosen denial as his coping mechanism. And it is an effective, if unhealthy one.

Once I realized that I had contributed to the creation of a child, I instantly knew I didn’t want to be like my father. While we both weren’t planning to have a child that night we decided to share a bed, I’m aware that just because it happened I don’t gain any rights. I want the best for the little one, but you are the one to make any and all decisions. So let me commence to offer up some mundane titbits about myself no one really knows and most wouldn’t deem interesting.

Is there a list of trivia one person is expected to let others know who wish to get to know them?

I like the colour green. Especially that poisonous emerald shade that was created using arsenic.

Cooking is something I like to do, but I’m not really good at it, and as it stresses out the elves, I don’t do it often.

Snakes are my favourite animals. I like to read Shakespeare. Runes was my favourite subject in school. I don’t have a favourite Quidditch team, but I like the Tottenham Hotspurs. You have seen my animagus form, and I admit to having a few tendencies usually attributed to the real ones. You need to guess which those are. I would almost bet that you’ll not get it right on your first try.

What can I tell more? This is harder than writing bill proposals.

What are your interests? How is your son? What do you want to know further?

If you’re still not comfortable sending a letter to me via owl, I’ll be back at your owlery two days after the delivery of this letter to pick up a possible response. I can use the exercise.

Regards,

Thomas

oooOOooo

Hello Thomas,

No need to show up in my gardens more often than needed. You know you could use an owl, don’t you? I guess I don’t need to fear you harming my baby. But please be sure to dispose of those hairs securely.

Traits of a magpie? But I won’t get it right on my first try? I guess you don’t think that robbing the nests of other birds, or humans if we make the transition, is something you have in common with them? Maybe you refer to the fact people believe the magpie to be an ill omen? Still not right? I hadn’t thought that it was so apt a match to the one face you show to the public. It was really surprising how many things came to mind once I really thought about it.

Maybe it’s the intelligence?

There is no way for me to decide at this point in time if it is a good idea to give you access to Harry. If you’re still around when he’s old enough to make such decisions on his own, I guess I can’t prevent him from searching you out.

How did you even realize that I was Rose?

By the way, please call me Lily. Anything else would be kind of strange by this point.

I’m not aware of any typical lists of usually shared trivia, but I guess I can match your titbits of information.

I like purple and the green of new leaves in spring.

Potions and Charms were my favourite subjects.

I like to read poetry.

Currently I’m trying to teach myself knitting. It’s harder than it looks but is a nice change from all the research I’ve done recently.

No animagus here. Does your form have a name? I know that some animagi tend to name their forms. Like a nickname. Thinking on it, I have no idea if Professor McGonagall has a name for her own animagus form.

I like cats. Watching birds is also always fun.

My baby is fine, he likes watching me enchant mirrors, which I do to occupy my time and earn some money. Besides that, it’s fun to come up with useful ways to enchant them. Who ever came up with enchanting mirrors to be snarky bastards commenting on your spots?

How old are you that Professor Dumbledore was your Transfiguration Professor? Didn’t he become Headmaster sometime during the sixties?

Do you regularly visit football games? Or do you own a telly?

Regards,

Lily

oooOOooo

Hello Lily,

I know that I could use an owl, but I like to fly on my own power so this opportunity is too good to pass up. And I really need to get out of the house once in a while.

I never bothered coming up with a name. Basically no one ever knew until now, and therefore a name to call the form would have been a little over the top. Don’t you think?

Maybe the little one can come up with a name? Children start to speak around that age. Don’t they?

There is a book detailing the history of enchanted mirrors. I’m not actually sure where I have seen it, but it basically claimed that the snarky advice tick so many mirrors seem to have was an accident. I’m not really sure how much credit I would give that claim, but enchanted objects given enough attention can get a little tricky with time. Especially with the kind of complex enchantments you get on mirrors that talk.

Have you ever enchanted a vanishing cabinet? They are great to have around, especially in the sizes a human can step in. I heard the market for them is pretty good at this time. You could easily make some money out of that.

I don’t own a television set. It wouldn’t work around that much magic, and inside the wards. But with a little effort a wireless can be tuned to catch the frequencies muggle radio stations broadcast on. If I really wish I can listen to a broadcast. I don’t find myself with free time at the right times often, though.

I obviously have an idea how old you are. You and Severus were in the same year, after all. I was born on the 31st of December in 1926, so now I’m almost 56. Not really all that old, considering the usual life expectancy of wizards.

You went pretty dark there with your comparison of characteristics attributed to magpies with mine. And I have to insist on the fact that I do not eat children, and never have. Also that I, under normal circumstances, don’t search them out to kill. I have to admit that I can’t really dispute any of the other parallels you have drawn. I was, though, thinking of the magpie’s reputation of collecting shiny objects. Ever since my boyhood days have I liked to collect things. From bottle caps to pretty stones, shells, and the like. Ever since I worked a while in a shop buying and selling at times questionable items, most of my attention shifted to objects with more real value, though.

You ask how I realized that you had had to be Rose. In hindsight it is deceptively simple and I’m dazzled how much of it was chance. I wore the glamour that day which I usually put on to intimidate and protect my privacy. It features some rather snake-like characteristics. After I had stunned you, I stepped up to the crib. Before I could act the boy had hauled himself to his feet and was asking me to pick him up. Raised arms and all. I noticed that he had spoken to me in Parseltongue. Did you already know that I’m one of the last descendants of Slytherin? That such a small child should speak the serpent tongue, it baffled me for a moment. There was no one else but me. Which prompted me to cast a paternity charm, confirming what I’d thought impossible. The rest was some quick calculation and recalling of where I was in that particular span of time. I hope that explains the situation?

Regards,

Tom

oooOOooo

Tom,

What would have happened if Harry had slept?

Regards,

Lily

oooOOooo

Dear Lily,

If he had slept, I would have spelled a similar message onto the wall. And cast some mostly harmless spell on the boy. I don’t believe in prophecy. Too often they are self-fulfilling, and the downfall of many a man relying on them. “If you cross the Halys you will destroy a big kingdom.” I didn’t want to doom myself.

On top of that, the whole situation that made it possible for me to even learn of this prophecy was highly suspicious. You may have heard of it, you may have not. But this is what I know. During a job interview held in the Hog’s Head, the now Professor Trelawney gave a prophecy. One of my followers was present, as he was a regular there with predictable times, and followed Dumbledore up to a private room after the old man had loudly asked where he might find the applicant, greeted her there in the main room, and went upstairs. My follower was able to listen in, hearing a few lines of the prophecy. He was discovered and thrown out without ceremony before the prophecy was finished. I learned of those first few lines shortly after.

But tell me this: Why hold a job interview anywhere other than the school? I once applied for the Defence position while Dumbledore already was Headmaster. It was up in his office. I don’t know of any other interview that has been held anywhere else but in the Headmaster’s office.  Do you?

So, no. I wouldn’t have killed him. But I would have left and would not have learned that I have a son.

I’m currently thinking on pulling a prank on Dumbledore, but hesitate because I don’t want to terrify the two families that would be the avenue to get to him. As you probably know, after all, you and your friends went into hiding at the same time, the Longbottom boy was the other one fitting with the few lines that were shared with me.

Painting some kind of message plain to see on both boys' second birthday would enforce to Dumbledore that I haven’t forgotten but chose to defy what he seems to deem important. But it also could be counterproductive. There’s still time. But some things need good preparation. And I’d better stop now. I shouldn’t drag you into this without asking you if you want to get involved.

Some more random details about me:

Scrambled eggs is one of my comfort foods. I drink my tea with a dash of milk. I shave with an old fashioned blade, if I use spells I get a lot of ingrown hairs. The first few years at Hogwarts I was bullied by my housemates as I had a heavy Cockney accent. It took a long time to train myself out of it. Learning new and obscure magic is one of my greatest passions. I do have a collection of books on household spells.

I hope you and Harry are well.

Regards,

Tom

oooOOooo

Dear Tom,

I agree that those circumstances are kind of suspicious. That Dumbledore wasn’t willing to share the whole prophecy, or any of the circumstances of its proclamation, with either of us affected the most, but demanded we go into hiding... I don’t like it at all.

He never even told us the first lines he knew had been overheard. Would you be willing to share them with me? I really would like to know for what reason we were on the run with a newborn baby. Do you even have any idea how very tiring a newborn is? Even without being constantly on the run?

It was hell on earth.

And being constantly expected to blindly follow someone was really not what I wanted out of life. That James and Sirius were constantly joking about it, teasing me, didn’t help.

I guess you know that I met with Severus again? He did tell me about your orders to be an envoy to me. His words, not mine. He seemed stressed. Please consider giving him more free time, or at least an interesting research project.

If you ask me, I would vote against any pranks to get to Dumbledore. If you accomplish anything, you’ll make him focus on Neville and Harry more than he is now. And I would rather he did lose interest in us. Maybe make some other grand gesture, without deaths, on their birthdays. That would go against his expectations in a big way. I haven’t been in contact with the Order much as I can’t risk getting killed or injured, but what has reached me indicates that Dumbledore  is  wait ing for some attempt to kill both boys. He seems really frustrated that I decided to go against all his ideas of what would be best.

He wanted me to move in with my muggle sister, her husband, and son. Sometimes I think he has lost contact with reality on some level.

How does that snake language thing even work? As far as I know, snakes don’t make any sounds. Well with exception of rattlesnakes and such. The Order member who explained Parseltongue to me said the wizard or witch speaking it makes hissing noises everyone around can hear. And my little Harry can speak it? Does he need another one speaking it around him to learn it properly? Is the claim true that only descendants of Slytherin speak it? That sounds like a rather small group of people. Or a rather big one. If there once was a bigger family, where are they all?

And on the topic of speech and talking. Agreeing to let a toddler name your form seems rather brash and senselessly brave. He has a tendency to mangle words. Birds usually are _bibs_ , and when he asks for a banana he demands _nana_. You could get stuck with something rather silly.

Do you have anything planned for your birthday? A nice long soak with a glass of wine and a good book? A long flight in your other form? I could place a dish with raisins and apple slices in the owlery for you.

Regards,

Lily

oooOOooo

Dear Lily,

I have nothing planned for my birthday. There aren’t many people left who knew Tom Riddle and bothered to remember his birthday. There are even fewer people who know that Tom Riddle is the one who is also known as Lord Voldemort. And my followers wouldn’t even dare ask for such personal information. I’m not even sure if they realize that I have a birth date.

Raisins and apple slices would be most welcome. Thank you.

I’m not entirely sure how Parseltongue works. And I’m most vexed by that. I certainly can hear something when conversing with a snake. Not that they are especially witty conversation partners. When I speak, it absolutely is in a range that can be heard by humans. There are always people flinching when I speak with my familiar, or one of the snakes I keep to harvest venom from. I have seen references to snake speakers in other cultures. India, South America, Africa, the Middle East, to name a few. I never have met anyone outside of Britain and only met my uncle once. Therefore Harry is the second Parselmouth I have met and heard speaking. There might be some slight differences in anatomy between us and everyone unable to understand snakes. Something to feel the vibrations that snakes create? Maybe it’s totally dependent on magic. I simply don’t know. Something I don’t like to say.

My theory is that there might have been a family or tribe mixing with some magical snake species. Have you heard of Naga and other snake-human hybrids? They then scattered into the winds, settling down on different continents and keeping to themselves, so not mixing much with other humans, which would explain why so few seem to be left. Or maybe something in the magic makes procreation harder? They also could have moved into hiding. But as I said, all that is pure speculation.

So you see that there’s no need for another Parselmouth to be around for Harry to be able to speak it flawlessly later. I think I was around seven or eight when I realized that I could speak with snakes. Children aren’t usually around wild snakes all that often.

Moving in with your non-magical sister? A muggle neighbourhood? Is he mad? Maybe he’s right that most of my followers can’t navigate the muggle world if they needed to, but I certainly can. Does he believe I wouldn’t touch a telephone registry? Maybe he was clipped with a curse in one of the last encounters between us? Or he has started to believe the image he’s trying to get the public to have of me. Seeking the security of the ancient Potter wards was a smarter choice.

Even as I noticed that you haven’t added wards keeping me specifically out. If you wanted to rectify that, Gringotts should be able to provide that service. I could send a strand of my hair as a reference point.

I don’t have a lot of interactions with small children. I’m not out and about often, so there aren’t many opportunities. So I’ll take your word for it that offering Harry the opportunity to name my form would be a foolish idea. Maybe you would like to do me the honour? The idea of actually having a name for my magpie form has been on my mind a lot, and is an appealing one.

And I haven’t ordered Severus around much. He currently is working on improving a few common healing potions, and searching for substitutes for ingredients which get bad reactions the most often. I guess that qualifies as interesting research? I did alright in Potions, but never had much fun researching on them for their own sake.

sincerely,

Tom

oooOOooo

Dear Tom,

Happy Birthday. I see that you found the raisins and apple slices. Harry wanted to send you something of his as well, so find a painting in finger paints on the back of this letter. Maybe some transferred to the front, I intend to let him draw once I’m finished, so I don’t really know now while I’m writing this.

Did you ever consider that the Parselmouths might have hidden themselves away? Even from the rest of the magical population? After all, at least everywhere around Christian influence there is a certain bad reputation attached to snakes. And the British were rather intent to spread that around the whole world.

I think I want to meet. As efficient as writing back and forth has been in getting to know you a little better, meeting in person is the next step we should take. I’ll see when I can get a babysitter and let you know the place and time.

Have a good start into the new year.

Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed to bridge a bit of time while they got to know each other enough for Lily to be curious, secure enough to meet Tom in person. As there's not happening much beside the letters being written and send I decided to just write the letters. I think it worked out good enough.
> 
> First published 25th of March 2020  
> last edited 4th of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	6. Chapter 9 - Bad Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another month starts. The last felt pretty long... like really long. Let's hope that things will have improved by the time April is over.

“I have a change of clothes, his favourite toy, and a few nappies here,” Lily said, setting down an un-shrunken bag on the table they were standing by in the family parlour at Longbottom Manor. “And you’re sure he isn’t going to get on your nerves?” Alice looked a little under the weather. Maybe she should simply cancel the whole thing.

On the other hand, if she chickened out now, it was unlikely that she would find the courage again.

“Don’t you worry,” Alice said with a smile. “I took a pepper-up just before you arrived. I’ll be fine. Augusta is here as well, and then there are the elves. I think we can handle two toddlers.” She looked over to the scowling wizard who had followed Lily here. “And an overgrown child like him over there.”

“Hey!” Sirius objected. “I’m not overgrown. I cut my hair rather regularly. And I can help look after my godson.”

“Sure you can, deary,” Alice said, making Sirius’ scowling darker. He didn’t like being dismissed like that. And they both knew it.

“Thanks, you two. I really need to get out for an afternoon.” It had taken some time for Lily to arrange for a babysitter and then get Tom to agree to the date. The second part had been significantly easier.

“I still think you shouldn’t go out alone, Lily,” Sirius started up his whining again. “James would never forgive me should something happen to you. Harry needs you!”

Why did everyone insist on trying to guilt her into complying with their wishes? “Yes, he needs me. But for me to be able to care for him, I need a break. And as he also needs you, we shouldn’t go out together. You know that there haven’t been any random attacks on muggle places in a long time. _Only,”_ she put air quotes around that “assassinations on some political figures, vandalism, and the like. Why should there be an attack today, in some random city? Don’t be silly, Sirius.”

Lily naturally couldn’t say why she would be perfectly safe today: as she was meeting with Voldemort, there wouldn’t be an attack. Why would he do something that stupid?

“Exactly, that absence of attacks is what makes me feel anxious. There has been nothing for so long, I’m almost sure there will be one pretty soon.”

She shrugged, looking over where Neville was sitting on the floor, turning a children’s book over in his hands. Harry was over at one of the shelves, standing up, slowly taking out one book after the other and letting them all fall to the ground. “I can’t concentrate on such vague what-ifs, Sirius. I’m not a defenceless maiden to be rescued. I can hold my own. And if there should be an attack, I will call for help. So stop fretting and go over and rescue the books.”

Sirius turned, spotted Harry dragging another book from the shelves, and hurried over under the laughter from the two witches.

“Have a nice afternoon out, Lily. I’ll see you later.”

With a last look at her little boy, Lily picked up her cloak, hat, and mittens and moved to apparate close to where she was meeting with Thomas.

She had picked a city at random by throwing something sticky at a map she had spelled to hover in the air. Then she had searched for a nice place to meet and written her invitation. She was the first to arrive, picked a table next to the big windows  looking out to the city square, and ordered a cup of tea.

It was five minutes after the time they had agreed upon when someone looking a lot like Thomas had that night, just with much darker hair and more intensive eyes, came purposefully down the street. It looked as if he had decided to leave off all glamours and come as himself.

It was still a little surprising how well he managed to blend in, but as he had hinted at growing up in the muggle world, she felt it was logical, and she shouldn’t be surprised, but she still was.

“Hello, Lily. May I sit?” He hadn’t changed his voice either when he had posed as Thomas the muggle.

“Please.” She invited him with a wave of her hand, watching as he slowly peeled back the layers protecting him from the cold January weather.

“Thank you for your invitation,” he said after he had sat down with his back to the door and the window. “I’m glad you’re even giving me this chance.”

“I can’t stand not knowing, and ever since the Headmaster said we needed to hide without clearly explaining why, I have been living under strain. It might be a bad idea to give you that information, but the fact that you seem willing to actually answer my questions has helped me cope. Whatever else has happened, and how angry I have been, Harry is my top priority. His safety, happiness, and health are the most important. I’m not sure the Headmaster would help me and be on my side in this.” She listlessly stirred her tea, looking anywhere but at Thomas.

“Did he tell you the prophecy?” Thomas asked, opening up the menu to look through his options.

“I did ask him again. But he said it was better if the exact wording wasn’t placed in the hands of anyone unable to protect their mind, or some such... “ She wanted to say rot, but refrained from using a teenager’s vocabulary in such a public place.

They were interrupted by the waitress and ordered some crumpets as well as a service of tea, talking about the weather until their order had been delivered.

“Do you want to erect some wards, or will you allow me to cast the spells?” Thomas asked after he had poured a cup of tea for her.

“I guess your wards probably are better than mine,” Lily said, adding some cream and sugar to her tea.

He accepted, or ignored, the implied compliment without reaction, carefully extracting his wand from his left sleeve, casting spells wordlessly and only moving his wand out of view from anyone but her. “Do you want to know what I know?”

Still giving her options. She could really see how so many people could follow the man sitting there at ease, eating some of the crumpets, waiting for her to decide. It was deceptively simple to trust him. And still somehow she was sure she could trust him in his good intention towards Harry and her.

“I want to know.” She needed to know. Why this man had decided to search her family out, had killed her husband, and stunned her. That the Headmaster was keeping her in the dark was grating on her nerves.

He took a deep breath and seemed to concentrate before he started to recite in a careful way, in a slightly lower tone than one would use when speaking in such a quiet place. “ _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…”_ He paused and looked back at her, meeting her gaze. “That’s all I was allowed to hear. Because it’s too much of a coincidence that all those things came together without intervention. If by the Headmaster’s hand, or someone else's, maybe even Magic herself? I don’t know. But those few lines were the reason I even contemplated searching for you.” He sipped from his cup, his eyes trained back on the table.

“The idea of a personification of magic existing is still a very strange thought for me,” Lily said, concentrating on that part over the fragment of a prophecy she now knew. “But there are so many strange things in the world I now live in. Why shouldn’t it be possible?” She shrugged, suddenly not so sure anymore what she really wanted to find out, what she wanted to do. “But also, why should it be true?”

Tom shrugged elegantly with only one shoulder. “I’m not really sure what to tell you. I simply know that Magic is there looking at us, unhappy with what we are doing with _her_ gift. And I have seen the chronicles detailing the descent of the elves. Severus told me you had an interest in seeing them for yourself?”

Lily nodded, setting her cup back into its saucer so she could pick up the small fork to spread a little of the butter onto her crumpet. “Yes.” She had asked Severus to investigate if it was possible for her to have a look. “Severus hinted that they weren’t easily moved?”

Tom nodded and was about to say something when there was a scream outside, then what sounded like an explosion, and more screams. Tom was on his feet in the blink of an eye, wand in hand, eyes searching for danger.

oooOOooo

“No!” Tom called out before adding a few more choice expletives in more than one language. Latin, old Greek, and Mandarin were surprisingly inventive in that regard. What were those idiots up to?

“Was that a Death Eater mask?” Lily asked from where she was crouching next to the table they had been seated at, peering out of the big window. They were much too exposed here.

“Yes,” Tom hissed. “At least a few of those disobedient idiots seem to be here. But at least one of the masks I just saw is a poorly executed imitation.” Why had they decided to do something this stupid now?

“If I understand correctly, you haven’t ordered this attack?” Lily asked, her attention turned to the outside of the building.

“You are correct.” Tom hissed out a breath, debating what he should do. Reveal himself and reel the idiots in? “What would the gain be here? This settlement hasn’t burned a witch or wizard recently. Or condoned an exorcism. Nor anything else that would justify something like this excess of violence. This isn’t sanctioned in any way.”

“You might want to leave then,” Lily said, before casting a Patronus and instructing it in hushed tones. “Find Sirius. There’s an attack by a mixed group of Death Eaters and what looks like rogues.” She added more details about where and then sent her silvery doe to run.

Tom sighed and eyed his wand. He liked its distinguished look. There wasn’t any other just like it. But that was a problem right now. Then he looked back at the muggles taking cover, and the waitress on the phone talking to what probably was the police.

“Still here?” Lily asked with a raised brow. “The Order will be here in a moment to take care of this.”

Tom gave her an unimpressed look back. “I’ll be made responsible for this. I feel responsible for at least a few of those idiots. I can’t do nothing.” In fact, by the oaths his Death Eaters had taken, they were required to follow his orders, and with him here witnessing this and not doing anything, his hold on them would weaken if he ignored behaviour going against his wishes.

Lily sighed, casting a stunner at the back of one of the masked people running by, leading to the figure falling face first to the ground. “Sirius will make a much bigger stink  about me going anywhere on my own if Voldemort makes an appearance here.”

She had a point there. “Who says I have to be visible?” Taking cover, Tom got out his locket, always hanging around his neck, and started the process of punishing a group of his followers through their mark. “Cover me?” he asked of Lily, to her surprise, judging by her expression, and then turned to concentrate on the task at hand, once she had given a shaky nod.

Extending his sense towards the nearest Death Eaters – ignoring the screams, the rough laughter and crumbling buildings, the stench of burning wood and flesh – Tom gripped his sense of them and twisted the connection between them with the intent and wish to punish the disloyal, to hamper their actions with pain.

He felt the moment it started to work and carefully kept his focus on those within a short distance of himself. Because there was no magical living near here, Tom had agreed to meet at Lily's chosen spot, and now it made sure that he didn’t need to worry about punishing one Death Eater simply living near.

The unconscious figure in front of the window started to twitch so it probably was one of the Death Eaters going out on their own.

He didn’t really register the sounds of people apparating in, but he did feel the elbow in his ribs. “Hey, Tom. The Order is here.” Lily stood up and moved so she was standing between him and the window as well as the door.

Slipping the locket back under his shirt, doing up the bottoms, checking that his wand was hidden well, and the magic of the holster would mask its presence, Tom slowly stood from his kneeling position. Getting away now was unlikely. He would need to think on his feet. Why, oh why had those idiots decided to attack this specific place today?

“Lily? Lily!” A man was calling out over the still persisting noise. Tom carefully dispelled the wards that had kept attention away from the tea room they had met in. Good privacy wards had more than one effect. There was no telling if Dumbledore would make an appearance, and he would certainly notice wards cast by Tom, if they were still around when the old man arrived.

Lily threw him a questioning gaze, but seemed to accept his decision to stay. Or more, his decision not to expose himself so directly. Someone had raised an anti-apparation ward while he had been distracted punishing the idiots.

He could tear those wards apart and apparate anyway, but that would be noticed. He didn’t want Voldemort to be tied to this attack. In fact he was already planning how to make it clear as a crystal phial that he was very displeased with these attackers.

“I’m here!” Lily answered the calls for her, once again checking on Tom with a question in her eyes.

“I’m fine. And I’ll only leave once I know that you’re safe. I’m Thomas Smith, Squib, you’ve picked me up on the way here.” Tom quickly gave her information tied to one of the fake identities he sometimes used to acquire potion ingredients. It was a good cover. It had to be. It would have to do.

Sirius Black came running, wand out, robes flapping around him, hair messy, blood trickling from what looked like a laceration on his forehead. “Lily! I knew this was a bad idea! You shouldn’t have had gone alone! See what happened!”

How patronizing.

Tom rolled his eyes and looked around the tea room, the muggles were still frightened, but seemed too confused to have seen much.

“I’m fine. Nothing happened. And because I was here, the Order could come and intervene.” And because she had been here, Tom had been here, able to intervene on the spot, hopefully preventing some of the harm that could have been done if neither of them had been here today.

“Lily! You have a little boy, you can’t risk getting harmed!” Tom couldn’t stop the snort that he wanted to voice.

Black turned on him, grey eyes burning. “Who are you?” There was a lot of contempt and suspicion in those eyes. He looked a lot like Bella. How alike and different two people could be at the same time.

“My name is Thomas. You have to be Sirius Black. Lily is really good at describing people,” Tom answered, not really able to hide his unfriendly feelings for the other wizard, exaggerating his surprise to find the description this accurate. Lily was a competent, talented witch. There was no reason to treat her like she was defenceless and unable to make her own decisions.

Tom gave Lily a smile, as if sharing a joke, her answering smile was shaky, but there.

“Are you fine, Thomas? Were you caught by a spell or some stray debris?” Lily asked him, reaching a hand out to touch him at the elbow, concern in her voice.

He wasn’t really sure if she was playing or genuine, which was rather unusual.

“Nothing went through, your wards must have kept them away,” Tom answered her, placing his free hand over hers, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you.” Not really for protecting him, because that had been him. But for playing along, for not giving him away.

“What’s a friend for?” she asked, taking her hand back, and turning towards Black who was standing just outside the open door, his mouth hanging open like a gaping fish. “Are they gone? Did you manage to catch some?”

Slowly blinking, and shaking his head as if chasing away a fly, Black turned to look at Lily. “We got six of them. They were down on the ground, as if struck by a spell, or something. The rest, the bigger group by what it looked like, r a n away the moment we arrived. They seemed spooked.” Black also didn’t look quite al l- together.  It s eemed that there had been a  large number of unmarked extremists involved in this attack, and his own people going against him now probably were on the way to being interrogated by the Order, or the Ministry.

“You should leave. Go home.” Sirius seemed really focused on getting her to safety.

“Don’t think so,” a gruff voice interrupted. “Lass needs to tell us what she’s seen.” Moody walked around the still unresponsive figure on the ground, sending an Incarcerus at it, before stopping next to Black. The Auror had acquired a few more scars since he had last interacted with Tom.

It had been over a month by now. Tom had had his mind on other things than taking part in any attacks. And that was more than enough time for the reckless wizard to get injured again.

“And he as well.” Moody gestured towards Tom, his eyes not staying anywhere for long, constantly scanning the surrounding area.

“Why? Thomas stayed down, and we both stayed in here after the first signs of an attack going on were apparent. Let me take him home.” Thank you, Lily, but it was unlikely that Moody would let an unknown man go on anyone's but Dumbledore’s say so. And even that was questionable. The wizard was really something else. Out for revenge against anyone siding with traditionalists after a close relative had been killed in an unguided ritual.

Tom could understand the grief, but the way Moody tried to cope with it wasn’t reasonable. He should have concentrated on the person leading others unprepared into dangerous magic. One didn’t barter with big primordial powers unprepared. There was no way an endeavour like that would ever end well.

“He was here. He’ll have to give his testimony. C’mon, we need to get a move on.” Moody waved for them to leave the tea room, and Tom followed Lily’s lead out onto the street. “Take the mask down from that one,” Moody instructed Black, indicating the fallen Death Eater. “We’ve got anti-apparation wards up. So walk to the edge of town, that direction.” Moody waved. “There’s a guard set up that will bring you back to our meeting point.”

“Look who’s here!” Black sounded gleeful, and the moment Tom’s eyes fell onto the uncovered face, he understood. “Walden Macnair. How very nice of him to make it so easy to catch him.” Tom took note. Sadly it hadn’t been possible to imbue an identifying element into the mark. And he needed to know their identity to more effectively prevent such disobedience by others. So he should better know before he called them all.

“Bundle him up. I think he’s one we should take with us.”

Moody’s gaze followed them as Lily and Tom picked their way through the rubble on their way from under the anti-apparation wards. “Why didn’t you just… apparate away?” Lily asked him out of the corner of her mouth, looking ahead, her wand held ready.

“The wards were already up when I was finished,” Tom explained, carefully avoiding a sizzling puddle of something neon green. He didn’t want to come into contact with _that_.

“What did you do, anyway?” Lily asked, quickly darting a glance his way.

“Punished those that were here. That spell Black hinted at? That was me. And they all will go down for what they have done here.” Lily didn’t react to that, and they made their way in silence to where two people in robes were waiting.

“Lily! Thanks for getting us here so quickly,” one of the wizards, who looked a lot like the one standing by his side, addressed Lily.

“Thanks, Gideon. But that's not necessary,” Lily denied with a shake of her head. “Moody insists that Thomas and I go over to the meeting point and relay what we’ve seen.”

So these were the Prewett brothers. They had been some rather bothersome opponents. Much less so since Tom had  dialled back the obvious and  large- scale attacks.

“I’ll take you first,” the other brother said, reaching his hand out for Lily to take. “If your friend is willing to wait.” She gave him a questioning look, which he answered with a smile.

“I’ll be fine.” Now that there was an opportunity to actually get to take a look at the Order, he felt rather intrigued to use that unprecedented situation for his own gain.

She looked doubtful, but didn’t argue, probably as aware as he and everyone else that the Ministry’s Aurors would make an appearance sooner rather than later.

It was a rather rocky side-along apparation, and it had been ages since he had been not apparating on his own, but finally Tom found himself in a pretty rundown house that looked a little bit more like a ruin than a house one would live in.

Lily was already there, waiting, looking a little relieved the moment Tom and Fabian Prewett stood there on an overgrown path of gravel. “Really, this is silly,” she once again tried to reason. “We didn’t really see anything interesting.”

“Lily,” Prewett sounded understanding, but resigned, “you know as well as I that what’s important isn’t really up for us to decide. Let’s get in. It’s mighty cold out here.”

So in they went, Lily, obviously annoyed, was trying to get Tom out of staying, and even going as far as citing her wish to go home to her son as a reason why they should be able to give their information later.

Tom used the argument, restrained as it was, between Lily and Prewett to have a good look around. This looked and felt like a temporary base used from time to time but not intended to be something important and big. The wards were weak enough not to spark interest from a casual passerby, but substantial enough to keep away muggles. The glass in some windows was broken, only magic keeping out the cold. There certainly were some rodents living around here. The droppings in corners spoke a clear message there.

But as they obviously were willing to bring a total stranger here, Tom hadn’t expected anything more secure or important.

They all turned to a window  at the sound of several people apparating in. Both Lily and Prewett got their wand out, and against his own instincts Tom moved back searching for cover, as he would do if he truly w ere a Squib and unable to defend himself from magic.

The moment the first figure was close enough to be seen from the door, Prewett and Lily relaxed, lowering their wands a little.

Sloppy.

“What’s your favourite to put on bread?” Prewett asked of an advancing person. Tom could hear their steps on the creaky floors.

“I’m partial to raspberry jam,” was the cheery answer, and Tom felt himself tense.

He had, of course, thought this a possibility, had dispelled his wards on the tea room because of this possibility, but still. His subconscious expected a fight and his body was reacting to that impulse.

Passive occlumency was the maximum he could risk to keep his cool, and he would need to avoid eye contact. Maybe going for intimidated, grateful, and humble would work out. He needed to remember that Dumbledore was really good in reading people and had known Tom for a long time. Hopefully he still believed that Tom’s forays into old magics had warped his appearance. Otherwise this could escalate pretty quickly.

“Hello, Headmaster.” All alertness drained out of the wizard, but Tom noticed with some surprise that Lily didn’t relax, even as she let her wand hand drop back to her side.

She truly didn’t trust the old man any longer.

Once again Lily placed herself between Tom and the door, and the wizard striding through it. Dumbledore was in a suit, no robe in evidence. “Headmaster,” she greeted him, waiting for him to initiate the interrogation Tom knew would come.

“While it was certainly felicitous that you were there to call for help, I wonder why you were there, Lily, my girl, and who your friend is,” Dumbledore asked, seemingly ignoring Tom where he stood behind Lily clearly relying on her for protection in an unknown location.

“Thomas and I had agreed to meet for tea. I had picked a place and picked him up at a meeting place near the Leaky Cauldron.” Oh that was good, she was improvising on what little he had been able to tell her. As the flat he had rented for this false identity wasn’t all that far from the entrance to Diagon Alley, this story would check out. “While we were catching up, eating crumpets, and drinking tea, there suddenly were noises. Now I think that those were apparation noises. We took cover, I sent my patronus and stayed behind my privacy wards, so that I could hopefully protect everyone in the tea room until the Order showed up. People in dark robes and with masks ran past. But I didn’t see more until I had an opportunity to stun a man through the window.” Which had shattered and miraculously injured neither of them.

Lily shrugged, ending her report. She had included all  t hat they had been able to see from where they had been, and left out many more details. Tom was astonished that she was covering for him.

It made him hope that there was a way forward for them.

“Where had you met Thomas? And why did you have to pick him up?” Dumbledore still was projecting his grandfatherly persona, but was focusing on Lily, who really didn’t look happy.

“We’re acquaintances. Write letters back and forth. Mostly about potions. I have no idea why you’re even interested in this much detail of my private life.” The last part had a bit of venom to it, and Tom felt his brows rise into his hair. Dumbledore really had angered the wrong mother lion.

Dumbledore spread his arms, not as effective a gesture as it was with the large sleeves his robes usually had, a twinkle in his eyes. He was putting a lot of concentration on Lily. A cold shiver went down Tom’s spine when he realized that he had no idea if Lily even knew of Occlumency. But she knew a lot about him.

If the Headmaster tried to gain entrance into her head he probably would find something incriminating, which would spell out disaster for them.

“Lily, my dear, please understand, in these dark times we need to be very careful. What do you know about your friend? You can’t just trust someone like that. Who’s to tell you that it wasn’t him leading the Death Eaters there? Your son is one of the two who might save us from Voldemort. You’re a high profile target, my dear.”

Dumbledore really was losing his touch if he thought his barely veiled disdain in that attempted guilt trip wouldn’t distance Lily further from his little group.

Lily scoffed, pacing in a little circle ending closer to Tom than she had stood before. He carefully felt for the wards and confirmed that there were no anti-apparation wards set up around this place. If need be, he could grab her and get them out of here.

“He’s a Squib. I had to pick him up because he couldn’t apparate himself. We share an interest in Potions. He likes to cook, but isn’t good at it. He’s a fan of the Tottenham Hotspurs. Can I even prove to you that your suspicion is misplaced? Or are you just going to stand there and claim that I’m still just an eleven-year-old girl in need of guidance?”

Tom felt like someone had pressed the air from his lungs. She really remembered the little bits of trivia he had written in his first letter of their long correspondence. No time to investigate his feelings now, they still weren’t out of danger here.

“Please forgive this old man his interest in his past pupils’ welfare, dear girl.” Tom rolled his eyes and made a derisive sound. As if being called a girl would show Lily that she was a respected member of the Order, her counsel valued and her opinions taken seriously. Dumbledore barely glanced into Tom’s direction, clearly already having dismissed him as unimportant and unworthy of being recruited. “I remember how grating it is that the older generation is slow in accepting that once you have finished school you’re legally an adult. While that is true, there also is the fact that you haven’t had a lot of opportunity to gather life experience yet. It truly would show your maturity if you could show us that you’re aware of this disparity.” And another guilt trip. Tom hadn’t really realized that it was one of Dumbledore’s main tools even against his more or less devout followers. He himself had been subjected to it a time or two, a seemingly burning wardrobe came to mind, but it never had worked very well on him.

Lily looked about ready to explode and Tom decided to step in.

He moved the half step separating them, touching his hand to her elbow, getting her attention. “Lily, may I?”

She looked surprised, but nodded, which he gave her a smile back for in response. Then he transferred his attention to the Headmaster, bashfully keeping his eyes lowered to the man’s torso. This was a little bit nerve wrecking.

“I brew potions on commission to finance my living expenses. Lily and I met in an apothecary when she asked me to hand her something. Today I went down and took cover when Lily told me to. So I can’t tell you anything relevant, unless you’re interested in the pattern of the rug I was staring at, or which prayer one of the other people in the tea room was muttering under their breath. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.”

“No worry, my boy.” The condescending tone and way of speaking never failed at making Tom bristle, feeling as if his feathers were ruffled the wrong way. “It’s always nice to meet a friend of Lily’s.” The old man turned back to Lily and smiled, once again the benevolent old man. “If there’s nothing else you can tell us, you might want to help your friend to get home.”

“I’ll do that. Come on, Thomas, let’s leave.” She nodded to the others present and then walked into the direction of the door in a brisk pace.

Tom followed after a polite word of farewell to the others, feeling an itch on the back of his neck. He fought to not show his unease. They were almost out of here, no need to blow it all just moments before they were safe.

They made it outside, where it was getting dark already, and Lily whispered to him, careful not to be seen or heard from the house. “Where should I apparate us to? I’m almost sure someone will follow the trace.”

Taking her offered arm for side-along apparation, Tom answered equally careful. “The yard behind the Leaky Cauldron. It’s a ten minute walk from there to a flat I have rented under the name of Thomas Smith. I use it to get deliveries. The old woman who owns the house and lives in the ground floor flat accepts and holds them for me.” He could see the surprise in her eyes, but she only took a better hold of his arm before apparating them away.

They didn’t really speak while walking through the pub, and Tom took the lead once they were out on the muggle side. In fact they walked all the way to the house where Tom had one of his hideouts. “That’s my place,” Tom said, waving his arm in direction of the house. “Mrs. Townsend wouldn’t be happy if I brought a woman around I’m not married to. So while there are no wards that would prevent you from apparating from inside the flat, you going in and not coming back out… well, let’s say that would cause suspicion.”

Lily snorted. “Here I am, having lied to allies about their biggest enemy standing right there pretending to be a Squib, and you are worried about an old Lady getting outraged because it seems as if you have a woman over.” She was shaking her head.

Tom chose to ignore that comment. “Are you well enough to apparate home? There’s a nice little empty park a few houses over in that direction that you could use.” He really needed to act. He had to make sure the captured Death Eaters would be left where they were, and to achieve that he needed to call a meeting, arrange a few orders, and so on and so forth. But he felt the need to make sure Lily came back home safely. “I’m sorry our first meeting as ourselves has been cut short in this way… Do you need assistance to get home?”

Lily gave him a scorching look. “I’m a little flabbergasted by the whole situation. If someone told me, I wouldn’t believe them. But I’m fine. I’ll apparate over to Longbottom Manor to collect Harry, then I’ll go home. I’ll be fine.”

“Good,” Tom said and nodded. “I’ll write another letter?”

“Do that,” Lily said, a small smile on her face. “I think I want to get to know you better. And despite everything, the day was informative.”

They parted ways, Lily walking over to the park and Tom going up to his flat, planning to make it look more lived in. Maybe he could interact with Lily under the guise of Thomas Smith a little more openly. Only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Published on AO3: 1st of April 2020  
> First published on ffnet 5th of May 2020
> 
> last edited 5th of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	7. Chapter 10 - Tongue Tied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are well and keeping sane.  
> Writing and reading help me stay away from too dark thoughts. So have another chapter!

He had carefully applied his glamours once he had arrived back at his home, then he had slipped on the big black billowing robes, before calling in the few people from the seedy underbelly of the wizarding society of Britain he had among his followers.

He currently was listening in as a few of the constant inhabitants of Knockturn Alley and its nameless offshoots gave him a rundown of who of the more violent and restless people were rumoured to have been part of some _fun_. Hopefully the short note he had spelled to appear in a special pouch his highest-ranking Auror always had on him would prevent any of his Ministry people from setting things in motion to free the idiots before Tom could act.

“Go. Keep your eyes and ears open. Let me know anything of interest.” Tom send them all away and waited until they all had shuffled out of the big meeting room before he got up.

There seemed to have been a party, if one was generous enough to call it that, on the new year in one of the pubs in Knockturn, culminating in a dare and a rough plan to have some _fun_. At least he had an explanation now. Or a hint at one.

Next Tom got out his locket to call Severus. He needed to make sure Severus was aware of what had happened and that he was prepared to answer any questions. Maybe he would be willing to help Lily learn the basics of occlumency besides.

While Tom waited for Severus to arrive he paced up and down in front of his throne, working out some of the pent-up energy. It could have gone so much better, their meeting. But the fact that Lily had not revealed him, had kept her head and temper, was a promising start. Maybe Tom would be able to be a father to his son.

“My Lord.” Severus said behind his mask, sinking into a kneeling position, waiting to be acknowledged.

With measured steps, and a deep but silent breath, Tom walked back to his throne and sat down. “Severus, please sit.” A wave of his wand conjured a chair, straight back, hard seat, black in colour, where Severus sat down with a respectful incline of his head.

“There was an unsanctioned attack against a muggle settlement earlier today. Lily Potter was there, but is unharmed. She alerted the Order, and your fellows got themselves arrested. I wanted to inform you before you hear it from somewhere else, and I also want you to offer her instruction in Occlumency, be it books or actual lessons. She can use the protection.”

The dark eyes behind the mask widened in surprise, but nothing else betrayed the spy’s real feelings on that order. “I’ll offer her help the next time we meet.”

“Meet her as soon as you can.” Tom ordered. Better Lily got the tools to protect her mind sooner rather than later.

“Yes, my Lord.” Severus accepted the order.

“I’ll call the rest, stay.” Severus gave another bow after rising from the chair and made his way over to a wall near a window where he would have a good view over the whole room.

Ever the spy.

Tom got his locket out and sent a general call out to his Death Eaters. His marked followers.

Soon sounds of apparation were heard, and his followers walked into the room. Reluctant, wary, unsure what was about to happen.

One after the other they came forward to fall to their knees, greet him with a bow of their  heads , a murmured acknowledgement of his rank, before they rose again, walking a few steps backwards before searching out a place in the room.

Once the apparation sounds stopped, Tom got up from his relaxed position in his throne to address those gathered before him.

Show Time.

“Today some of us have gone against us,” he declared, his hands folded behind his back, his voice contemplative, just that little tad louder than he would speak in a normal room.

Letting that declaration stand on its own for a moment, Tom let his gaze sweep over the people before him. He still didn’t know exactly who had been captured. But he was a good actor. He would make them believe he knew.

“Against my explicit orders, six of our number banded together with other thugs and attacked a random muggle settlement. Their only goal was destruction. And in that they have damaged our reputation, our true purpose.” He was so very angry that they had defied him, and he let some of that anger slip into his voice.

There was a shifting moving through the ranks, but they stayed silent, listening.

“Random violence against muggles isn’t going to get us what we want: Return of our traditions and festivals, the return of unreasonably banned magic. And do you know why random violence will not get us what we want?” It was a rhetorical question, naturally, and his people knew him well enough that they didn’t even think of answering. But still it was a useful tool to get them to think, even when they didn’t answer out loud.

“This random violence on a grand scale endangers the Statute of Secrecy. Which frightens our fellow magicals. In consequence, they will fear us as we endanger the safety of us all.”

There had been a lot of moments in the past months that he had regretted using the old prejudices to gain a following. Dealing with the consequences of that was exhausting at times.

“If we want to change our society, we need to appear relatable, logical, rational.” He had changed his rhetoric, slowly, as he needed to change the perception of the world of his own followers. He needed to change them first, so that they could change their society together. They were those still paying their respect to Magic, but they had those unfortunate prejudices, the disdain for everything muggle, for the muggle-born. So while they were the people he needed to reinstate the traditions to honour Magic, they were the worst to do so, as they also needed to include the first magicals of their families to follow the traditions.

There was a lot of work to do still.

So he talked on, repeating the important points, putting emphasis on the fact that they had sworn to follow him, his orders, on their way to give Magic back the central place she was due.

“Those who go against my orders will suffer for their foolishness,” Tom started on the closing part of his statement. “But as we can’t risk them giving up names of anyone faithful, we’ll make sure they won’t break their oaths.”

Tom waved his hand, sending out small brightly glowing witchlights to mark those he wanted here for the ritual to bind the tongues of those who hadn’t been here. By now his own Auror had dropped off a list of the idiots with one of his elves – which had appeared where he could see but the others could not – he knew who to bind now.

“Everyone not selected to help in this ritual go home, be safe, and may Magic bless you.”

Tom watched as Severus quickly made his way to the front of the crowd, slipping out hurriedly. Probably off to go talk with Lily. Ignoring a niggling bad feeling, Tom turned to the few Death Eaters staying back. They had a ritual to prepare.

“I’ll draw the circle. You mix the herbs in the correct amounts in those bowls. You,” Tom turned to face another wizard behind a mask, “purify the candles.” Tom passed out the tasks and then let everyone learn the needed chant, while he started drawing the runes and symbols creating the circle needed to guide the magic they were about to call into the path they wanted it to take.

Once they were done and everyone had left, Tom opened all the windows with a wave of his hand. The stench of burning hair and smouldering herbs was heavy in the air. And probably in his clothes and his own hair. But now the captured Death Eaters never would tell anyone anything about the Death Eaters ever again.

Lily had been correct to fear what could be done with one single hair from a person. That was the reason Tom had a lock of hair from each and every single Death Eater at hand.

Now he would go home, take a long, hot shower, and read a good book. Or maybe better yet, write a letter.

oooOOooo

It had taken a long time to convince Alice, Frank, and Augusta that Lily would be totally fine at Potter Manor. She loved her friends, and could understand why they wanted to make sure she was safe, but it felt restricting and smothering. Like everyone knew better and was uninterested in her assurances.

Tom had also asked if she felt fine and was up to apparating home. But he had accepted her word. She still wasn’t sure what  factors had influenced her decision not to expose him. If she could  go back in time and tell her self – from  just after she noticed that she was pregnant – how her life was  like now, she was sure she wouldn’t believe herself.

Now she was standing in little Harry’s room, watching him sleep.

Was Tom someone she wanted in her life? In the life of her son?

She wasn’t sure. He was witty and fun… but on the other hand, he had built a following containing members willing to commit random acts of violence. While Tom had said he was going to punish them, he also had alluded to situations where he felt such violence might be justified.

Lily sighed, leaning a little more onto the railing around the bed, playing with her fingers in Harry’s unruly locks. How would her little boy look if she hadn’t taken the potion to make him look as if James had been his father?

Maybe his hair would be a little lighter? It was hard to actually see how Tom might have looked as a small child. It always was.

“My dear, darling Harry. What shall I do?” What had looked like a pretty easy division between the people willing to go forward and evolve past prejudice and superstition and those clinging to an unhealthy past – and the corrupt Ministry as an aside – was now so much more complicated.

“Mistress. There’s a visitor at the door, shall he be sent away?” Lily turned to look at the disapproving face of the elf come to inform her of the visitor. The little being clearly wasn’t happy with a visitor this late.

With a jolt Lily realized that if Tom was telling the truth this was a descendant of the High Elves known only from legends and stories now.

She shook herself. “Who is it?” There were people she would welcome gladly even at this time of night.

“The wizard who’s been here before. The Yule visitor,” was the squeezed answer, big eyes still unhappy.

“Severus Snape? Let him in, I’ll be meeting him shortly in the formal parlour downstairs.” That seemed to ease the little elf’s worries somehow, and it vanished with a popping sound.

Why would Severus be here so late? Had Tom told him of the attack? Or had Severus learned about it from another source, and wanted to check on her? Had he been ordered to come here? Was he here as her friend?

With a last look down at her little boy, Lily walked over to her own room to throw on a robe, before she walked down to meet her… friend, and see what he wanted.

“Severus!” He turned around as Lily stepped into the parlour, and she frowned. “Seriously? Why have you come here dressed like… that?” She waved up and down to emphasis her point and felt like laughing once he blushed violently red.

“I’m sorry.” He almost stumbled over the long robe in his haste to open the buttons, the mask falling to the floor making a dull sound on the rug he was standing on. He really had come here dressed in Death Eater regalia! The nerve of him!

She did know, of course, but still, to see it so suddenly, presented so carelessly, was a shock.

“I’m sorry, Lily. There was a long meeting… and I didn’t think or take the time to go home and change before coming here. But, well… I’m sorry.” His face was bright red while he waved his wand to shrink both the white and silver mask and the dark robe with hood so he could stuff them into his trouser pocket.

“Really, Severus. You need to be careful. The Headmaster hasn’t dared to set a guard on me yet, but he might decide to do so at some point. And I suspect he won’t inform me. He might see you as his spy, but he didn’t tell anyone of that role, so he would be rightfully concerned should you make an appearance in that getup.” Lily shook her head, and walked over to the loveseat right next to the fire. It was warmer there.

“So I guess you have already heard about the attack?” Lily asked, settling into the Lady of the Manor pose she had learned from James’ mother before her sudden death.

“Yes. The lecture given out to everyone this evening made me feel like Professor McGonagall berating us again for not paying attention in Transfiguration.” Severus settled into an armchair across from Lily, fiddling with the buttons at the cuffs of his shirt. He was painfully thin. “Are you well?”

Lily nodded. Severus looked as if he was under an enormous amount of stress. This dangerous slip of his mind could easily be a result of too much stress. “I’m well. I was in a tea room, and there were privacy wards up. I sent a message and hid until the Order arrived. _He_ did lecture everyone like Minerva McGonagall does when a student doesn’t listen?” Lily snorted. “I have to admit that’s a disturbing image.” Her mind insisted on mixing the glamour of Voldemort with a severe bun Professor McGonagall was always keeping her hair in.

Severus looked as if he wanted to nod but didn’t dare. “He also asked me to offer you information on, or instruction in, Occlumency.” His dark eyes were reluctant. He only darted a look her way a few times, but looked down on his hands every time.

“What’s Occlumency?” Tom had been generous with his offers of information, she didn’t doubt that this was more of the same. An attempt to make sure she was safe and able to protect Harry, or an attempt to convince her of his goal. She wasn’t really convinced she understood what his goals were, but she had gained a good feeling for his character. Probably.

“The art of defending one’s mind against a witch or wizard using Legilimency.” Lily opened her mouth to ask what that was, but Severus already had seen the question in her eyes and answered before she had to voice it. “A Legilimens is either one with the natural talent to read the thoughts of people around them, or someone using a spell that allows them to do the same. And before you ask, it’s not like reading in a book, it’s less organized, much more dependent on the will and skill of the one searching through a mind than reading any book is. Partially because the mind simply isn’t ordered or linear enough to be read like that.” Severus now was much more open, less tense, passionate about this topic.

At the same time that Severus started to relax, Lily internally started to panic. There were people out there who could read other people’s minds?

“That’s possible? Why have I never heard of that?” There were many things she had thought after learning about them that they should have been brought up at some time prior. But this was making the top of that list. People reading her mind? If such was possible, everyone should learn about it!

“It’s not a talent found often. And not an easy spell. As I said, finding what you search for is anything but easy. And if you don’t learn to control and steer your own mind, I have read, one can get lost in another’s mind or be constantly assaulted by the thoughts of others around you.” Lily hadn’t heard Severus that unguarded and stumbling through an explanation in a long while.

“I would hazard a guess that you can do both?” Lily tilted her head, studying Severus sitting there, a fire in his eyes she knew all too well from their discussions about Potions.

“Yes. I’m not really much of a Legilimens, but my Occlumency is very strong naturally. So strong, in fact, that I can lie to both the Dark Lord and Professor Dumbledore. That’s why they both… why they both believe I can actually spy on the other.” And suddenly all the confidence was gone again.

“Can I help you, Severus?” He really didn’t look good. Normally he wore big robes, and they effectively hid how very thin he was. And he might always have been pale, but now his skin was sickly pale. Severus was not healthy. If it was due to too much stress or an illness, he needed to change something.

“Help me? How?” Severus seemed puzzled, as if he wasn’t aware that he needed help at all.

Knowing what she knew about Severus Snape, she didn’t offer pity or help, but went back to the topic at hand.

“Occlumency. I can use it to protect my mind and thoughts from people with that talent or knowledge of that spell?” Maybe if she could get him to come by for lessons regularly, she could at least feed him regular and healthy meals.

“That’s correct.” Severus nodded. “I can bring you some books you can read. Getting a good understanding of your own mind is an important step if you want to learn Occlumency. Meditation can help with that.” For a moment Severus looked down at his hands again. “But the only way to truly learn to defend yourself is to practice with another person trying to invade your mind. It’s not a pretty process…” Severus fell silent again.

There was a picture slowly forming in Lily’s mind, and it was not pretty. Dumbledore had needed a spy, Severus had offered. And now he looked like death warmed over. A natural strong  O cclumen s , whatever exactly that meant, but the only real way to practice was to have another invade your mind.

“I need my energy to care for Harry. But I would like to learn. If you would bring me the books you were speaking about, that would be great. You say meditation helps? What style do you do?”

For a while Severus and Lily sat down on the rug in front of the fire and meditated. They didn’t do it long, and then Severus left with a few words of apology for his appearing uninvited and the promise to send or bring the books for her to learn from in the next few days.

Using meditation to calm her racing mind, Lily quickly found sleep. The day had been long and filled with new information.

The next morning Harry was almost glued to Lily’s side, probably because she hadn’t been there a lot the day before. With the morning post arrived a small scroll with the emblem of the phoenix. Asking her to come over to Longbottom Manor at noon.

“Do you want to visit Neville, my baby boy? We were invited to come over today. I think we’ll have fun. What do you think?” Harry squealed in delight, waving his arms around, clearly excited. Which made Lily smile. “Yes, I think it’s a good idea as well. But let’s have a bath first.”

That got Harry’s attention, as he loved to play in the shallow water of the bath. “Then let’s go!”

“No, Lily it’s fine, you were there and should give what you saw to the rest of the Order. I’m happy to look after both Harry and Neville.” Alice assured Lily once more, smiling from where she was sitting on the floor between the boys and a big pile of colourful woodblocks. “We’ll be fine.” Lily was reluctant to leave her little boy here alone, but took a deep breath. Harry would be safe, no one even suspected that Harry wasn’t James son, only herself and Tom knew.

Harry would be safe with Alice.

“See you later then.” Lily slowly closed the door behind her before turning and walking to the big table in the library where the meeting was going to be held. On the way there, she reviewed once again Severus’ advice on how to avoid a Legilimens’ attack while still learning how to use Occlumency.

Don’t make eye contact, simply look at the nose or the chin, if it’s a group situation, look around at other people, move your eyes, close them if need be, as if to concentrate. Severus had had a lot of advice.

Lily was sure that she could manage that. She never was one for long eye contact when there were a lot of people around.

When she arrived at the library, the tension and volume within was in stark contrast to the atmosphere one normally expected in a place like that. M o ody was growling as he listened to a heated argument between two other members. “That never happened before. All  the Death Eaters apprehended at the scene are behaving oddly. The Auror on duty last night said something happened late at night. Some kind of seizure or something. They can’t speak about anything related  to Death Eaters. Mind you, they can say that they are Death Eaters, but that’s it.” 

“And I say they’re lying! Of course they can tell us more! They have to know a lot. Why have we handed them over to the Ministry? They’ll be gone pretty soon. Freed, let loose on some technicality.”

Moody growled again, while Lily sli d into the only free seat at the table. “No. That’s wrong. If they  were going to be freed, they would be gone already. But they’re still there. Dark Mark on each of them. Red and inflamed, the Healer said.” Moody started to walk up and down. “There was no Dark Mark cast. They were somehow disrupted. But it wasn’t us. They were already down when we arrived. Something is fishy here.”

Sirius nodded along, his fingers drumming on the table, not even glancing in Lily’s direction. In fact he hadn’t made many efforts to stay in contact with her, to visit Harry.

“But –”

“No,” Dumbledore interrupted. “Alastor is right. If Voldemort wanted them to be free, they would be. But why has he decided to leave them there? That’s the question, isn’t it?” The old man turned in his seat, a chair subtly more ornate than the others, towards Lily. “You were there. I’m sure you have seen more than you think. Please, Lily, try to remember.”

The Headmaster was intensive in a way Lily hadn’t noticed before. The subtle signs he was their Leader, that she hadn’t registered before. The position at the table, the different chair. She had always known that the wizard was their leader, but why those subtle signs when he always tried to play up the equality between all members of the Order? There were no ranks, no structures. But still.

Lily placed her elbows on the table and let her head rest on her hands, looking at the polished wood. “I don’t remember much. We were having tea. I had raised some privacy wards. So we could speak freely. There were a few muggles there, so I had to be careful. The Statute… you know.” Everyone was silent, only the tapping and drumming of Sirius’ fingers a steady sound. “Suddenly there was pandemonium. When I saw the first dark robed figure, I knew it was an attack and I sent the Patronus.” Lily remembered the sounds, the smell. Tears were gathering in her eyes. How many had been injured? Had someone been killed? She hadn’t asked. Why hadn’t she asked?

“I stayed in the Tea Room, protecting everyone there, as they couldn't protect themselves. I stunned one Death Eater that ran past. My wards seemed to have been enough to keep them away, the place uninteresting. I didn’t see anything else.” Lily sat back up, tears running down her face, which she tried to dry with her hands. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. “I wish I had seen more, but even though the Tea Room is close to the town square, with all the trees and bushes, the view wasn’t the best.”

The  H eadmaster made a humming sound, but then the topic was changed again. “Maybe you need to ask the right questions?” Gideon asked. “They can confirm that they are Death Eaters. Have you asked them who else was there? We  saw a few people getting away before our wards  went up. If we find those people, they might be able to talk.”

“I agree,” Fabian nodded. “Or see if you can get something out of them pertaining to stuff they have done in the past. Or had planned to do. Do we even know if Death Eaters take a vow of some kind, making sure they can’t rat out any of their secrets?”

They went back and forth, belabouring the same points again and again. Lily listened and watched, always moving her eyes to look at the people talking and those listening. She was interested in their reactions to what was said. But still she would rather be somewhere else than here, listening to useless bickering.

She had a good idea what had happened. Tom had said he would punish those going against his orders. And making sure they were captured had only been the first step. Severus had told her about the long lecture – she hid her small grin at the returning image of Voldemort with a stern bun behind her hand – and a ritual done later that night. Maybe it had been done to make sure the rest of his organisation wouldn’t go down with those he wanted to punish.

Once again she stayed silent.

She needed to see those books. She needed to read them and see for herself if there was any veracity in those claims of magic maybe vanishing as it had supposedly done for the elves.

Maybe she could ask Tom to let her read these books. And she needed to learn to protect her mind. And maybe some better privacy wards as well. The ones Tom had put up had been really good.

When the meeting was finally done, closed with the plan to try different questions than what was usually asked, Lily got up from her chair and dodged most of the others, unwilling to be kept apart from Harry any longer. Sirius didn’t pay her any mind, and Lily once more was happy she had picked Alice as godmother and hadn’t allowed James to pick both. One cool and disinterested friend was enough.

“Thank you, Alice,” she said to her friend when she picked her little darling up. “The meeting wasn’t anything really interesting. It seems the captured Death Eaters are unable to talk about certain topics, or specifics. We gathered a few ideas for alternative questions, maybe they will uncover something of use.”

“And that took so long?” Alice wanted to know.

Lily shrugged, wiping Harry’s mouth. He was teething again. “There was a lot of discussion involved. Much speculation. It takes time.” She rolled her eyes, making Alice laugh.

“The bickering is a bit much at times,” Alice agreed, smiling. “Don’t be a stranger, Lily!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Published: 6th of April 2020
> 
> last edited 6th of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	8. Chapter 11 - Books

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter to everyone celebrating.

It had been over a week since Tom had met Lily and they had been interrupted by the sudden and unsanctioned attack. They had exchanged messages since then to set up a meeting between them again. This time at Tom’s home.

Lily had insisted on getting to read the chronicles, and Tom had agreed to send her a portkey so she could come over. He was surprised that she hadn’t insisted on a contract, or vows, or some such to make sure she wouldn’t come to harm while in his home. He wondered if she was too Gryffindor to think of it, or maybe too noble to think it necessary. Not that it was, as he didn’t plan to do anything to harm her, or take her captive, or whatever else might come to mind.

The time of activation neared, and Tom was in his small reading room, preparing the old books and tomes for Lily to look at and read. Hopefully she was able to understand the dialects and languages the books were written in. Some parts were a bastardized version of Latin, and a few early versions of French and what later would evolve into the English they were using today.

The bad shape some pages were in – mould spots, fading ink, and penmanship so elaborate that the letters were hardly identifiable – would make reading even harder. He had transcripts, of course, but as he had been the person to write them, he was pretty sure Lily would prefer to see the actual source material.

Once everything was set up, with writing materials for note-taking, the books, and a pair of thin cotton gloves used with old artefacts and books to protect them from the skin oils of the people handling them, Tom moved to the kitchen. He had asked the elves to prepare a tea for two, with cake and sandwiches, and felt the need to check that everything was as it should be.

All these were signs that he was very nervous, but he had decided to ignore it so he would do exactly that. There were good reasons for him to be nervous, but nothing he could do about it. So why dwell on it?

He was chased out of his kitchen pretty fast and decided to read a book while sitting in the receiving room where the portkey he had spelled and carried to Potter Manor in his still-unnamed animagus form would bring Lily Potter.

The moment he noticed the portkey passing his wards, he placed a small piece of ribbon as a page marker into the book.

“Da!” A high pitched voice called just after Tom had registered the slight tumbling steps of someone landing after travelling with a portkey. His head snapped up and there, right on the rug he had intended for the landing, stood Lily with a backpack slung over one shoulder and her son, their son, on her arm, pointing at where Tom was sitting. “Da!”

“Yes, Harry. That’s Tom. He’s living here and he invited me to come over because he has some books I would like to read.” Lily explained to the little boy on her arm, before looking over at Tom.

He closed his mouth, painfully aware that he had been sitting there with his mouth open for much longer than was dignified. “I hope this isn’t a problem, but the friend I asked to look after Harry for the afternoon had to cancel suddenly, so there was only postponing this, or bringing Harry along.”

Tom swallowed, placed the book down as he stood, and tried to wrap his head around the drastically changed situation. That she brought her baby was either an indication that she was more careless or reckless than he had thought, or that her need to read the chronicles just was that great.

“Welcome to my home.” Tom swallowed again, his mouth was suddenly very dry. “It’s unexpected, if not exactly a problem. No human has access to this house.” Tom blinked and waved back when Harry waved at him with a small grin. “Well, I changed the wards a little. Obviously. But besides us, no one else can even cross them. And no one alive knows of this place. It was given to me on the death of the previous owner. He didn’t have any family left.” Noticing that he was rambling, Tom stopped himself from saying anything more, feeling a blush creep up his cheeks.

How mortifying. He hadn’t been this insecure since he had been a teenager. Or rather he had become much better at hiding his insecurities since then.

Or so he had thought.

Taking a deep breath, Tom checked his occlumency shields and reinforced them, shoving some of his nerves out of focus.

He needed to concentrate here.

“Please do come in. I have brought the books into the reading room where you have good light and enough space to take notes and so on. I think there’s enough space there to set up something for Harry as well.” He had set up rooms for them, but somehow he knew it would sound creepy if he told that to her now. She hadn’t really reacted badly to his offer of sanctuary should they ever need a safe place to hide, but having personalized rooms already set up might seem too eager.

That could backfire badly. He should have thought this through better. He was making a lot of easily avoidable, stupid errors in this.

“That’s a great idea. I brought a blanket, snacks, and some toys. Hopefully Harry will play on his own so that I have time to actually read.” She looked as if she wanted to say more, but fell silent.

“Please follow me then,” Tom said and turned to lead the way through the hallways to the reading room. The cottage was bigger than an average house, but it had not been build to impress and therefore had no extra room invested into high ceilings, or extra wide corridors. “Here we are,” he announced opening the door and sketching an exaggerated bow. “The table with the chronicles is the one over there at the window, and I think maybe the space in front of the fireplace is a good one to set up a place for Harry?” He got his wand out to strengthen the wards he had set on the fireplace so that no snake got into it. They constantly made their way into the house following the mice and rats, and maybe some magical pull drawing them closer to Parselmouths. And once in the house they tended to search out the warmest places. After one elf had screamed on finding a snake while preparing to light a fire in one of the grates, Tom had set wards on all fireplaces to prevent further incidents.

“Sounds good.” Lily said, looking around the room, clearly assessing the situation. “Here.” And suddenly Tom had a toddler in his arms, who looked around curiously.

While Tom felt himself panicking deep behind his occlumency shields, absolutely out of his depth, Lily seemed utterly unconcerned. No one ever had expected him to hold a toddler. When he had been a child, he had been scary, and the other children hadn’t wanted to stay close to him. Once he had been grown, an adult, he had gained a reputation as the Dark Lord and was naturally exempted from child-caring duty.

While Tom was awkwardly holding his own son, Lily had opened the backpack, getting out a colourful blanket to spread out on the wooden floor. She was setting up a space with practised motions. Tom rearranged his arms to hold onto his son more comfortably. The little boy was saying something Tom couldn’t understand properly, and pointing down to the floor. “Do you want to be set down, Harry? Let’s wait until your mother is finished getting everything out of her satchel. Then you can sit down and play with your Hogwarts Express.” There was a scarlet train, engine, tender, and carriage, among the toys Lily got out, “and the dragon.” It looked like a whole toy trunk was stored inside that backpack. Probably an undetectable extension charm. “Would you like that?” Harry nodded and then got a good hold on Tom’s hair, yanking on it painfully. “Ouch! No! Don’t pull on hair. That’s really not very nice. It hurts.” Harry only laughed and Tom had to pry his hair out of the surprisingly strong hold the toddler had on it.

Then Lily came to his rescue. “Harry, Tom is right, pulling on hair isn’t nice. Come let him go, and the two of you can play together.”

“Yeah!” Harry seemed all for that plan, letting go of Tom’s hair, and clapping his hands together, his wiggling getting stronger, and Tom carefully bent so that he could set Harry down on his own two feet. Harry was wearing trousers and a jumper with a small open robe over them. He looked like a proper little wizard.

Once Harry had settled down next to the dragon and train, letting himself fall from standing to sitting without care, he looked up to Tom – who was still standing there unsure what to do – and called “Om! P'ay!” which Tom decided to interpret as an invitation to play with Harry.

“Sure.” He carefully settled down on the blanket himself, avoiding poking himself with the edges of the wooden blocks as he sat down.

“You two have fun. I’m just over there reading if you should need me.” Then she addressed Tom directly and he saw the mischievous spark in her eyes when she gave him additional instructions. “There are nappies in the backpack as well as a change of clothes. Call me over if you need help.” And she was gone.

Not really gone of course, as she was barely five feet away at the table, but it felt as if he was alone with his son, anyway. Maybe because this looked like it was a test. Like Lily wanted to see how he would do.

Strengthening his resolve, Tom accepted the dragon from Harry and activated the flapping wings with a light press on the marked spot on the back between the wings. What would it have been like had he had such toys growing up?

“The dragon is hungry.” Tom let the dragon swoop up and down, as if in search of prey. “What could he eat?”

“Pig! Sheep!” Harry declared decisively, picking up two figures from among the other toys. One was a sheep and one a pig, both as big as the dragon Tom was holding. “Oink!” Harry wiggled the pig, letting it run on the blanket from one side to the other.

“Pig and sheep are good food for a dragon.” Tom agreed, moving the dragon as if it was swooping down to catch the pig and eat it. Harry giggled when Tom started to make chomping noises, then took the dragon figure and purposefully made his way over to Tom on his knees and one hand.

“Dragon eats wiza’d!” Well, looked as if someone knew his magical beasts.

“No, please, mighty dragon! Don’t eat me! I’m not very tasty!” It was strangely easy to go along with the game, and it was a lot of fun.

At least as long as Harry managed to miss certain parts of Tom’s anatomy with his jumps onto Tom who was sitting half on the blanket and half on the wooden floor.

They transitioned to building walls and towers out of the blocks, and piling all the yellow blocks to create a hoard for the dragon to sleep on.

From time to time Tom looked over to Lily bending over the table and the books and scrolls he had placed there. The furrow on her forehead spoke of high concentration and frustration.

While he was watching her, Harry had come over, and was using his small, sticky hands to get Tom’s attention by patting them on Tom’s cheek. “Hunga! Want a nana.”

“You’re hungry? I don’t know if there is a banana in the food you mother has brought from home. But let’s have a look.” It seemed as if he had interpreted his son’s request correctly. And there was indeed a banana in the backpack, wrapped in a cushioning charm. An interesting use for this spell. Was that a common use among those caring for young children? He mostly used it to make sure whatever chair he sat down on would be comfortable.

After they had eaten a banana each in comfortable silence, sitting side by side on the blanket, Tom spelled his own hands clean wandlessly. “Shall I clean your hands as well?” Tom asked and then sighed when Harry shook his head, giggled and was off, running away from Tom and towards where his mother was sitting.

So Tom got up and walked over, following Harry. He did not want to have to remove soft banana from his furniture or possibly even the rare books he had here.

Lily looked up as the sound of Harry’s running feet caught her attention. There was really something in her eyes that seemed to be laughing. “Are you two having fun?”

“Fun!” Harry echoed, his dirty hands landing on the chair and Lily’s robes.

“We are. But Harry needs to clean his hands, because he has banana on them.”

“Na!” Harry scurried around the chair, laughing like mad.

“He likes playing catch. And I think there’s more than his hands to clean up.” Lily stated, grinning herself, a smudge of ink on her nose.

It took longer for Tom to realize that she was talking about the boy’s nappies than he ever would admit. And when he finally had understood he knew he had no idea how to do it, besides having read more than one book on the topic after he had learned he was a father.

“I will need your help for that.” She would understand that he had no idea how to do that particular task. He was almost sure of that.

“And I’m willing to show you how it’s done.” Lily stood, sweeping her little boy into her arms up from the floor, turning in a small circle making his little legs fly. “Let’s get you into some clean nappies, shall we?”

Tom paid close attention while Lily changed Harry into clean things, explaining everything she did. There were a few charms involved that seemed as if they might be surprising when used in a duel, and after Lily was finished Tom felt as if he might be able to replicate her actions if he ever had to.

“I’ll let you boys play some more.” Lily said with a smirk before going off back to the reading table and her task there.

Maybe he had passed at least the first step of her test.

oooOOooo

The way Tom was playing with Harry was a serious distraction. It was just so odd to contemplate. There was her little boy, her darling baby, playing with the most feared wizard of Britain and maybe the whole of Europe as well, landing more than one accidental blow below the belt, and still Tom remained calm and continued to play.

She really wanted to just give in and let Tom be part of their life. But anyone could be nice towards those they called family and still be an awful human being. She needed to know if his goal had a legitimate foundation. That was the first step to really understand if his attempts at revolution had a motivation beside gaining power and control. If his claims were true, only then would she even contemplate if his methods were the only way.

So much still was wrong. Why did she feel so drawn to him while still knowing everything that was wrong with what he was doing?

And even now, when she had the books, scrolls, and chronicles in front of her which supposedly were proof for his claims that magic needed to be worshipped or they would lose it, she didn’t feel any closer to her goal.

Those blasted things were written in a lot of languages she neither read nor spoke. At least most was written in Latin letters, or the runes she had learned at Hogwarts. But while some parts looked as if they probably were Latin, she had no idea what others were written in.

How was she to read them?

A moment ago Harry and Tom had interrupted her as Harry had run over, and she had noticed that there was a nappy to change. Now she was back to what she had decided she could do now.

Searching for hints that these were genuine. When had they been written? What were they made out of? Which hints at languages, places and times could she spot? She was pretty sure that Tom would allow her to come back and read more. If she could get a better grip on what she was trying to read here, she could come prepared. Maybe make a few transcripts of what was written, so she could try translation charms, and work on the texts at home.

Were there charms to conserve old parchment and papyrus? Even if the texts were fakes, they still were obviously old and brittle. If they were fakes, they were old fakes. A possibility she couldn’t ignore. If only for her own peace of mind.

Returning once more to the scrolls probably containing Latin text, Lily carefully unfurled one and started scanning the lines. She had not really been paying attention on her first pass over this text, but she thought that she might have seen something that had looked like a date.

There! Roman numerals – if she only remembered how to read them properly – and wasn’t diem the word for day? Calendes… Lily was taking careful notes of what she found looked like dates, and what looked like the names of places.

This would take ages.

But it was also one of the most exciting things she had done in a while. When did one normally get the chance to see and even touch written documents from thousands of years in the past? She wasn’t really sure about that, she would have to look up how long papyrus had been a common material to write on. But at the very least these scrolls and books were hundreds of years old.

Slowly Lily realized that it had gone rather still, and looked up to check on her little boy. What she found made her smile. He was napping on the blanket in front of the fireplace, one arm wrapped around his favourite cuddly toy, eyes closed. And Tom was sitting on the chair that had been moved out of the way, reading, but looked up as if he had noticed her looking.

He stood up, closed the book and walked over to her on silent feet, smiling. It was incredibly unfair that he looked so good as he did. It made her whole resolve not to get in over her head in this, crumble more than she was ready to admit. If he truly looked the same as he portrayed himself when out in public with his work face on, it would have been easier to keep up her resolve.

“How is it going?” he asked, waving his hand and moving another chair over to sit in without touching it.

Wandless magic. Impressive. But she really shouldn’t be impressed by his using such tricks. She knew better than to follow just anyone displaying power so casually.

“Slow,” she answered, determined not to ask for help. She looked past him towards Harry, checking that her baby was still sleeping. He had become scarily quick in causing mischief if she took her eyes off him for even a moment.

“Harry is fine. I placed a monitoring charm on him that is, as far as I understand, often used to keep an eye on children.” Had he read her mind, or had she simply been that obvious? Lily checked her still shaky shields which she had erected around her mind in painstakingly conducted exercises. They seemed to be holding up.

Lily nodded to acknowledge the precaution taken, and turned to look at another section of the scroll. Maybe she should make a list of words that appeared frequently and search for a dictionary of some kind to translate them.

“It took me a long time to acquire these, in fact most of these were scheduled to be destroyed, but one Ministry employee felt it would be a great disservice were we to destroy the last of those early records of magical communities on the British Islands, so he moved them and manipulated the records,” Tom suddenly spoke up. “They had been sold by my employer years before I started working there, so I had to track the customers, and who they had sold their acquisitions to in some cases. But once I had them, translating them was another matter.” He huffed a breath, looking at the small mountain of books and scrolls on the table.

“So you do have a translation?” Lily had to ask, if there already was a translation then this was possible.

“I have, but I guessed you wouldn’t be willing to blindly trust that I did translate it accurately.” There was a small smirk on his face, and Lily gave him a not-completely-playful glare back. “If you wish, I can point you in the direction of a few things, though I have to confess that the thought of an unbiased second opinion has its promises. I really would like to know if you come to the same conclusions as I.”

Lily could appreciate his foresight regarding her plan for this and his interest in a second set of eyes. “So from when are the oldest pieces? I guess the scrolls are the oldest, right?”

“Yes, I believe they are the oldest. But there are a few wooden tablets with marks on them I could not match to any language or writing system. They might be some kind of shorthand. Those scrolls seem to have been written by a number of Roman magistrates from the time the Roman army first came here. There are some lists that have tax reports on them. As far as I could gather, those all were taken from muggle places when the Statute of Secrecy was enacted.”

Lily nodded. That seemed as if it was a good place to start, and also possibly easy to verify. “Why did the Ministry plan to destroy them? Storage space shouldn’t be an issue. There are, after all, quite stable and efficient ways to expand any given space.”

Tom shrugged. “I’m not sure. The wizard who rescued them had already been dead for a few decades by the time I learned of him and his actions. And I never managed to get a good look at the records detailing their supposed destruction. And even if I did have a chance to look at them, I don’t expect them to be of any use. After all, what might the Ministry write on such a form?” The question was clearly rhetorical. “It’s entirely possible the manuscripts and everything was deemed unimportant, or they were planned to be destroyed in an attempt at revising history in such a way that no one would be able to prove it had even happened.”

Lily hummed. “If there was a small cache of official documents of times past when magic was a known fact to all stored in some box at the British Ministry of Magic… shouldn’t there be something similar in other places around the world?”

“Maybe, probably. But I never spend much energy on searching for those outside of Britain. Maybe they did exist, maybe they are still around. But even if they are still around, why should I, a British wizard, have a right to find and take them? Besides I had enough trouble finding more stuff here in Britain.” He shrugged once more, and made himself more comfortable in his seat.

He had a point there, and Lily was pleasantly surprised that Tom had fewer colonizer-entitlement fantasies than her brother-in-law.

“Do you have any objections to me making copies of these?” Lily asked, waving one gloved hand over the table.

“Not really. But some of them are so brittle that normal duplicating and copying charms might harm them. I haven’t dared try copying any of the more delicate ones. It would be catastrophic to lose the scrolls, or any of the books,” Tom answered, taking her request as seriously as she had meant it.

“So I basically have to copy the text by hand?” She felt a cramp in said hand even just thinking of that. “Have you ever considered using a charm scanning the shapes and sending them to a kind of adapted quick-quotes-quill?” Most charms designed to create duplicates actually suffused an object with magic and made a copy of everything. But just reading what was written and using another implement to write down what had been read might actually work.

“No, I never even thought of it. It would need a bit of inventive spellwork, but I think it should be a lot gentler on the originals. You won’t get the damage and original material as clues, but you should be able to create an exact rendering of the actual text,” Tom was musing, his eyes alight with curiosity.

“I’ll look into it. If you’ll allow me to come back?” Lily was aware that he had a list of motives of why he would allow, even welcome, her back, but asking was what she needed to do if she wanted an answer. Slytherins seemed to require asking questions like pulling teeth if one wanted answers.

“I have no objection to you being in my home. You can bring Harry again if you can’t find someone to look after him. Maybe it would be a good idea if we created a portkey for you so you can come here as often as you like.” Tom offered with a questioning look.

“Now that I have been here once I can apparate here easily.” Lily pointed out.

Tom inclined his head. “That’s true, but you need your wand to apparate. If we made some piece of jewellery you wear often into a portkey, you could get out of a situation even if you don’t have your wand on you.” He didn’t point out when such a situation might happen, but he didn’t need to anyway.

“I guess that’s reasonable. We only have to think of a way to get Harry to safety should such a situation ever occur.”

Books and scrolls were forgotten for the rest of the afternoon as Lily and Tom tried to come up with a way to put a portkey on a toddler that would activate together with another regardless of the position of the two related to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Published 12th of April 2020
> 
> last edited 8th of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	9. Chapter 12 - Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all well and keeping safe!

Severus was cradling a nice strong cup of tea and was looking rather worn out. He had just declared Lily’s Occlumency shields adequate, earning himself a slap on the shoulder. If she would only allow him to actually dig for secrets in her mind, he was assuring her, she would be able to erect even better shields. Lily had declined. And now they were resting, supervising Harry playing on the floor with one of the elves.

“You have learned this rather quicker than most,” Severus observed, picking another biscuit from the small plate between their cups on the side table.

“I had sufficient motivation. As you would say,” Lily observed, filling her cup once more from the teapot. “And your assistance with this has been helpful as well.”

Severus shrugged, nibbling on the chocolate biscuit he had selected. “I’m happy to help.” And somehow Lily was sure it was true. Severus could be a sarcastic ass, but her friend was still in there somewhere.

“Do you think you could help me again?” Lily had gotten some second-hand-bookshop recommendations from Tom – he claimed that they had been around since he had had to buy his school books on a tight budget – but she wanted to get a few more from Severus. She had debated asking some of her other friends, but felt that she would need a good reason to ask for shops that would have the kind of books she needed without clueing anyone in to what she really was after. Somehow she was sure reading old text like she was attempting to do would raise some flags with the Order she didn’t want raised.

“Depends on what you want my help with,” Severus said one brow going up his forehead. She just knew he was thinking of the same situation back in fourth year when she had asked Severus what colour of robes she should wear for breakfast on Valentine’s Day.

Deciding not to bring it up, Lily went on to explain, “I’m searching for some books that can help me to translate texts written in Latin, different older versions of English, some medieval French…” She trailed off and shrugged.

Now Severus looked really surprised, set his cup down on its saucer and leaned forward in his seat. “Why would you need to acquire such books?”

“Because I have old texts to translate, obviously?” Lily rolled her eyes but somehow felt self-conscious. That clearly shouldn’t be the case over just translating some old manuscripts. Right?

“But what text do you need to translate? Found something interesting in the Potter library?” Severus narrowed his eyes. He knew her well enough to suspect that there was something that she wasn’t telling.

“While there are interesting books in the Potter library,” she had searched that first to see if there might be a books that could help her with her current task, “I didn’t find the texts I want to translate there.” Because she had copied them with her newly invented set of spells and enchanted quill from the ancient documents Tom had had her look at several times by now. “So, can you help?”

“Maybe. I have a few books I use to translate old Potions manuals and notebooks from masters who were developing and experimenting. But if I can have a look at your source I might be able to give you more helpful hints. Because you might not need a reference book on how different ingredients were referred to in different periods of times and locations.” Severus clearly was fishing for information, the way he had always done.

For a moment Lily weighted her options. Severus had told her that he had seen the manuscripts and read them. As he hadn’t had much opportunities to learn languages, just as  she hadn’t ,  what  he probably had seen  and read were Tom’s translation s . There was a real chance he would recognize what he was looking at. How would he react?

But was there another way?

“I can fetch them if you watch Harry for a moment,” Lily said, standing from her armchair, intending to go up to her office and the set of drawers she had spelled so no one would be able to open them. And if someone forced their way in anyway, the contents would go up in flames. They were just copies anyway, so destroying them wasn’t that big a deal.

Maybe that was the reason she felt so paranoid about the whole situation. Tom, otherwise also known as Voldemort, or You-Know-Who, had given her those texts, a big portion of which the Ministry had wanted to destroy. It felt somehow forbidden.

Severus had barely uttered his agreement to watch over Harry for a moment before Lily had left the room and made her way up to her study. And just moments later she was back again, carrying her folder holding all the loose sheets of rather heavy paper she had transcribed the old texts onto.

“The sheets are numbered. I think I ordered them roughly by time they were written in, but I thought ordering them by original source was more important. Some of those seemed to span longer periods of time. Here.” Lily held out her folder and waited for Severus to take the rather hefty weight. It had been a lot of pages to transcribe.

“Those are not the originals?” Severus half stated, half asked, and Lily nodded in answer, sitting back down in her armchair. “You made copies from originals?”

“I did. Or at least they looked like originals. I’m not a historian, or an expert on validating the age and origin of manuscripts.” Lily shrugged and watched her friend open the folder, flipping through some of the first pages. His face changed subtly more and more with each page he examined. She was pretty sure he was slowly realizing what he was looking at.

When he asked, sounding kind of breathless, “Where did you get those?” she knew that he knew.

“I copied them from the originals with permission from the current owner.” Now she had admitted it. She had admitted to being in contact with the one Severus probably called the Dark Lord.

“You… what?” Severus was totally speechless, a state Lily hadn’t seen all that often.

“You were the one telling me about the whole Magic is an entity and we need to thank her for her gift thing. And sorry if I can’t simply trust some translation done by someone else, when I need to know the content of the texts to decide if they are trustworthy in the first place!” She didn’t want to explain everything to Severus now. She still wasn’t sure what Tom would think about her revealing their relationship to anyone.

“But… how?” Severus seemed really out of it for the moment. She probably shouldn’t be surprised that he was having trouble wrapping his head around this situation.

Lily sighed, wiggled until she sat more comfortably in her armchair, and picked up her cup of tea. She probably should give her friend an explanation. But what could she tell?

“I guess it started with me wondering why exactly Harry and I were still alive.” And it had, until she had read the note signed by Thomas, and there had been a whole lot of other questions that had crowded her mind. “Then you came and answered some questions for me. Somehow he and I managed to get into a letter exchange.” She didn’t need to include that Tom had delivered the letters himself, that only would muddle the waters. “And I got around to asking about seeing those original texts, which you kind of had already done. And well, it took some time and organizational effort, but I got to look at those originals. As they really are too delicate to be moved, I thought up some way for me to make a copy of the text and not a real duplicate, as that would potentially damage the originals.”

It was barely an explanation, but that was all she could give Severus at this moment. She shrugged again, and waved her free hand at the folder held open in Severus’ hands. “I thought you wanted to offer up some pointers where I might find help in translating all that.”

Severus snorted, and started to shake his head in disbelief. “You have met…” Severus interrupted himself and once again shook his head. “ I probably don’t want to know, do I? Don’t answer that.” He held up his hand and Lily closed her mouth with a click of teeth against teeth. “I can certainly give you a few recommendations for books that might help you with this  _undertaking_ . And maybe I can show you one or two translation spells. As you’re working with copies, you might get the gist of some of it with translation spells.  I wouldn't dare risk them on originals. ” They started to discuss different translation spells and Lily started another list of book and second-hand shop recommendations, this time provided by Severus, but with a  sizeable overlap with the list Tom had given her.

When it was finally time for Severus to leave, he still was rather pale. And his parting words were, “Please be careful, Lily.” He didn’t blink at the look she threw him for that, but she had to admit that she kind of understood where he was coming from.

Just half a year ago she never would have thought that she would be visiting a Dark Lord at his home to copy some ancient contraband texts.

She sat down with Harry, who smiled up at her the moment she drew near. “Mama! Play!”

“You’re not hungry yet?”

“No!” Harry was shaking his head rather vigorously.

“Then we’ll play for a while.” And they did.

After Harry had been fed, bathed, and brought to bed, Lily settled back into her study to plan an outing to Diagon Alley and the adjacent back streets and narrow alleys. And the whole time Harry’s question if they would visit Tom again, which he had asked just when she had set him down in his bed, bounced around in her head.

Her little boy liked their visits with Tom. She was torn between liking the idea of Tom and his son getting along, and her fear that she would have to cut Tom out of their life after all and what that would do to her little baby.

oooOOooo

Tom watched, outwardly calm, as the family of the wizard they were here for was brought out of the house by his masked and robed Death Eaters. The children, all younger than eleven, were crying openly, only one of them struggling. He probably would sort Gryffindor in a few years. The mother was pleading with the usual words that they spare her children, asking what they had done. As if she didn’t know.

Well, maybe she didn’t realize that most of their money was made through blackmail. It was possible that her husband didn’t tell her everything he did.

Or maybe she simply didn’t know that it was wrong, what her husband was doing.

“Barty! Take care of the children.” Tom ordered in the cold, high-pitched voice he had settled on to use with his face of Lord Voldemort some time back.

The witch, just in her sleeping gown and on bare feet, wailed, coming to an obvious, but wrong, conclusion.

Barty led the small party of Death Eaters around a shack standing in the garden, the children brought along. Tom had made  it clear before they had started this night’s activities that there would be no harm done to the children. They were to be stunned, or put to sleep, then watched over until they  left again. Tom even had made sure that the group he had picked to deal with the children knew the best sleeping charms and were adequate at casting the warming charms that certainly would be needed here. It wasn’t even February yet, and much too cold for small children to be outside only in their  p yjamas .

There were a few flashing lights from spellfire, then nothing. One after the other, most Death Eaters came back, moving on to their next assigned task, while the witch broke down into heaving sobs.

Tom turned towards where he could hear stumbling steps. It seemed as if the groups he had sent out to gather up the neighbours hadn’t faced any serious opposition.

Good.

They needed an audience for the trial they were about to hold.

Quickly everyone was assembled and arranged in a rough u-shape, not unlike a horseshoe, with him and the accused at the short side. The wizard was on his knees, a bruise already forming on one cheek. Each adult neighbour – the children should all be in their beds under strong sleeping charms – was kneeling with a Death Eater standing behind them, making an impressive display and the right scene for what he had planned for today.

If everything went right, only one person would die today, and everyone would know exactly why.

“Reginald Quintus Smith, you stand on trial before these witches and wizards this night for your conduct as a member of the Being Division in the British Ministry of Magic,” Tom started to speak, drawing the attention of everyone in hearing range. “Your responsibility of governing the registration process and registry of Werewolves on the British Islands is an important one. But you have used it for personal gain. Forcing those afflicted by lycanthropy, but willing to follow the letter of the law, to undergo humiliating processes which are not required by said law.”

“That’s a lie! All lies!” Reginald Smith called out in denial, looking around at the faces of all his neighbours who were hearing those accusations laid at his feet.

With a careless flick of his hand Tom send a rather mild prank spell at the man, that would send electric shocks through his body. The man howled as if he had been struck with a Cruciatus curse. Tom rolled his eyes at that pathetic display.

“Silence!” The word was more hiss than spoken word, sending shivers through everyone but his most hardened Death Eaters.

“You invented administration fees and taxes, demanding money from the registered werewolves, which they were not able to pay. And if they refused to pay, you resorted to outright blackmail.” Tom let a scowl appear on his face, it would convey the right amount of anger to everyone watching.

“You have drained the savings from several families that way. But now they have asked me for help.” And indeed there had been a few werewolves who had let everyone around hear that they were unhappy with the way the Ministry, and Mr. Smith in particular, was treating them. They hadn’t known they had been talking with Voldemort himself, and his Death Eaters assumed that one of his spies had brought him this intelligence. Sometimes it was really useful that almost no one knew his real face. He could be his own spy. Absolutely trustworthy. When his people in the Ministry brought back news of Reginald Smith’s bragging about his methods, and showcasing his wealth, he had started to plan.

“And after I had my people check that they were telling the truth, action had to be taken.” Now he let his expression morph into a manic grin, which was truly terrifying with the lack of proper lips in this disguise. “Do you have anything to say to Lord Voldemort here in front of these witnesses that would redeem you?”

There really wasn’t a thing that Reginald could say, and they all knew it, but appearances needed to be kept.

But before they could come to the natural conclusion of this trial, the execution of Reginald Smith, there suddenly was spellfire coming from several directions.

Tom deflected a stunner, knocking Reginald out, then shot a cutting curse at the man’s neck so he would bleed out if he didn’t get help quickly, then turned to assess the situation.

He saw red robes, organized formations of three, quickly breaking apart as his Death Eaters stunned their captives and turned to confront their attackers.

Aurors then. The Ministry, possibly informed by one of the neighbours before they had been incapacitated.

It was rather easy to weave through the spells that flew his way. No one seemed to be aiming for him, so short bursts of shield spells, and batting away spells with his own wand, were enough to keep himself safe. How many were there? Should he call for a retreat? Or try to take out as many as they could?

“Voldemort!” Tom whirled around at that angry, aggressive yell, automatically raising the hand holding his wand to cast on a moment’s notice. Or even quicker. Tom deflected another spell of an acidic yellow colour that did look rather dangerous, and dodged to the side, feeling a thrill go through him.

A worthy opponent; he needed to pay attention now.

Moody was striding through the fighters – didn’t look as if any of Tom’s people were in serious trouble – disregarding the spells and possible dangers he was striding through. His blue eyes were filled with a madness Tom had seen  many times. He was going for a fight, wanted to fight badly enough to forego any precautions.  H e wanted to kill.

The first dozen or so spells Moody sent Tom’s way were within the allowed spell repertoire of the Auror corps, but as Tom deflected one after the other, Moody lost his nerve, or his patience, and started casting killing curses.

Tom dodged one, laughing, and cast one himself. “No regard for the innocent bystanders, Auror?”

Moody snarled, one of his newer still bright-red scars pulling at the edge of his mouth.

Tom summoned a  large piece of firewood to block another killing curse. Seemed as if Moody really had no compunctions  about using lethal force with innocent witches and wizards around if there was a marginal chance he might kill Voldemort.

Funnily enough, Tom did care about not killing the people on the ground because a Killing Curse he had cast was dodged by his target.

He switched to curses designed to permanently maim, but not to kill.

Dodging another green flash of spellfire, Tom rolled over the ground until he was on his knees behind an evergreen bush, and aimed a pretty dark cutting curse at the wizard’s leg.

In that very same moment a cackling Death Eater jumped out from behind the shed, casting something at Moody that was enough to distract him, which was enough to make Tom’s spell land.

With a scream of agony Moody went down.

Tom was on his feet the moment the spell had left his wand and over by the fallen Auror a blink of an eye later.

“You should reflect on your tactics,” Tom spat into Moody’s face, truly unhappy with how careless Moody had been risking lives during this fight. “Maybe this will help you get a new perspective.” With the precise control needed for the spell originally developed for medical purposes but since then changed to be an excellent tool for torture, Tom carved out Moody’s left eye, setting it on fire once it was on the ground next to the man.

One move brought his locket into Tom’s hand, and while he strode away from Moody’s form prone on the ground, he sent out the order to retreat.

When all of his own were gone, Tom apparated back to Headquarters as well. While this hadn’t gone quite as he had envisioned it, it could have gone a lot worse.

Debriefing after the trial of Reginald Smith had taken too long. But now, finally, Tom was back in his home, getting out of his long warm bath, finally relaxed.

It smelled as if the elves had finished his late dinner and he would get to eat the moment he stepped into the kitchen. He just had to get finished drying off, getting dressed, and walking down the stairs.

While towelling himself down, Tom noticed a few bruises starting to form on his legs, arms, and back. Dodging and rolling around on the ground was not as easy as it had been once. Maybe he should include some more physical activities into his training. But for the moment some bruise balm should solve that problem.

When he sat down to read some reports at his desk, he got out a new sheet of parchment and his favourite quill and started a letter to Lily.

_Dear Lily,_

_I’m sure you’ll hear about the fight before I can deliver this letter. But I wanted to write you anyway, as I feel the need to talk with someone, and beside you, there isn’t really someone who qualifies._

_I can’t believe that idiot Alastor Moody! Flings around Killing Curses as if they were tickling jinxes in the middle of a crowded battlefield also containing non-combatants! I don’t know yet for sure if he’ll have survived, but I think the odds are in his favour, as there were a great number of Aurors still standing once we were all gone._

_It really is quite frustrating how many pigheaded people there are that make everything so much harder than it needs to be. I know that you’re still trying to decide if my cause is even a valid one, but sometimes I simply ask myself if it truly is worth all the hassle to maybe keep magic for our children._

This letter got a lot longer than the ones they had exchanged previously before Tom went to bed, planning to deliver the letter in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First published on AO3 18th of April 2020  
> published on ffnet 14th of May 2020
> 
> last edited 14th of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	10. Chapter 13 - Suspicion

“Lily! Are you even listening?” Alice asked, laughing and elbowing Lily to get her attention.

“Sorry, Alice. I guess I’m still learning to be away from Harry.” She smiled and tucked her warm mittens into her cloak pockets. They were about to enter a small bakery, where it certainly would be warmer then out here, where it was more snowing than raining.

“Augusta is absolutely capable of taking care of our boys, Lily. Don’t worry so much!” Alice opened the door and went in, a bell ringing above their heads, as they slipped into the warm, cozy room. “And we get an afternoon off. Have you heard about Moody? He‘ll probably get an enchanted eye, or at least that’s what the rumour is at the Ministry. Frank told me.”

They sat down at a small round table near one of the windows. Lily took off her hat, slipped off her coat and sat down. It was a cozy place, but Lily noticed that she checked out all possible ways of entry and exit, who was there, and where everyone was seated. War made people paranoid. That she was between a rock and a hard place here, where the war and her own side in it were concerned, didn’t help her tendency to be overly cautious any.

“An enchanted prosthetic eye? So they can’t grow it back?” Lily asked, looking at the blackboard hanging on a wall where the offers of the day were written. Maybe an apple crumble would be nice.

“They had to take off his leg as well. I still can’t understand why he’s even still alive! I mean, we all know that You-Know-Who is a merciless killer. Frank told me that he stood directly above Moody, could have killed him. But he didn’t. The Auror corps is more than confused. And I wish I could get back to work!” Alice was agitated and could hardly sit still on the other side of the table from Lily.

Lily had an inkling of why Moody still lived. Tom had written a rather long letter ranting about his frustration with the Auror and his tendency to throw caution to the wind when Tom and Moody met on a battlefield. The disregard for human lives if only he could get a chance to kill Voldemort or any other dark wizard was grating. And Lily could agree with the notion that Moody needed to adjust his priorities. But she still did **not** approve of Tom’s methods.

“I had heard that there are curses so dark that wounds caused by them don’t heal properly. I’ve heard of eye prosthetics that muggles make. They are usually more of a visual match then functional. Magic is probably able to provide functionality?”

Alice nodded and they turned to the witch who owned the place to give their orders.

Quickly after that was done they returned to their conversation. “Yes. As far as I know there are almost endless possibilities to put enchantments on such an eye. If you get it right, you might be able to look through walls! Or see enchantments. Even a function like a magnifying glass could work.” In that moment their plates came levitating in, landing with a soft sound right in front of both of them.

“That sounds fascinating.” Lily was intrigued, took a bite of her apple crumble, and hummed thoughtfully. “If enchanted eye replacements are so versatile, why are there so few of them? I don’t remember seeing anyone with something like that before.”

“Well, they are very expensive. Not many could afford them. And they aren’t really good looking as far as I understood from what I have heard. It’s obvious they are replacing an eye. Someone rich enough to pay for it oftentimes is also vain enough to avoid disfiguring themselves.” Alice shuddered. “And I can’t imagine that one would willingly endure that pain for something so useless, if cool.”

Lily shrugged. Such an eye probably really was useless when one had a normal life. Who needed the ability to look through walls? If she wanted to see what was behind a wall, she would walk around it or go through a door. Or maybe even use a spell to make the wall transparent for a while.

“Well, I certainly would like to know how such an eye is constructed. Do you think I could get in contact with whoever is going to make the one for Moody?” The idea of enchanting something this complicated was interesting. She had enchanted a number of mirrors, and trunks, cabinets, drawers and so on, but such an eye sounded even more complicated than a vanishing cabinet.

“Oh, that’s all old news by now! Frank told me this morning that Moody has left the healers’ care already. He’ll probably be around sooner rather than later. Old stubborn fool, if you ask me.” Alice snorted and took a sip from her tea.

“Already? It’s been barely two weeks! That’s incredibly reckless! How is he even walking with one leg missing?” Once a neighbour of theirs had been injured in a work accident, it had taken months before he could walk again. His leg had only been broken, if badly, but the whole magic healing speed seemed unreasonable for a lost leg here.

“You know him. Doesn’t trust anyone and is more stubborn than a dragon.” Alice shrugged and changed the topic. “Are you going to stay at Potter Manor? It’s a little big for only you and Harry, isn’t it?”

Lily didn’t like rehashing all the arguments for why it would be so much better and nicer if she moved in with Frank and Alice, or maybe the Weasleys – who had six boys already – and how much easier everything would be.

But Lily really didn’t want even closer contact with members of the Order, or overbearing older witches with clear and unmoving opinions on how to rear children. She might be young, but she wasn’t stupid. And behind everything there was the doubt if Dumbledore had his hands in all these attempts to get her to move in where people could keep a closer watch on her.

Was she getting paranoid?

The two witches parted ways after another round of hot tea, Alice heading home, and Lily going to roam the alley in search of a few books. “I’m going to come collect Harry soon.”

“Don’t hurry on our account! Use and enjoy your afternoon of book hunting! And good luck in finding that old Charms Encyclopedia.” Alice waved and left, while Lily got out her list of recommendations for books and shops.

Tom’s and Severus’ recommendations were good and Lily was even prepared to venture into Knockturn Alley and the shops there in search of those books about translation spells.

But first the shops in the safer places around here.

It was fun going through shelves and bins of old books, the smell of old parchment and paper, old leather, and the herbs kept with them so that moths and other bugs would stay away. It was soothing and exhilarating at the same time. She found quite a few books that were promising. Notebooks from professional enchanters, old, out-of-print books about charms and potions, and a few of those dictionaries and those books focused on translation spells Severus had mentioned.

With over ten different books even before Lily had ventured into the shops in the seedier parts of the shopping district, she decided that it was time to go home. No reason to get more books before she had had a moment to see if she now had what she needed.

On the way to one of the few places where apparating in and out was possible, Lily was already making plans for what to do next and when she could take Harry to see Tom in the next few days.

“Oh, sorry. I should pay more attention.” She had looked down, arranging the handles of her tote bag, and had run smack into another person.

“Mrs. Potter, fancy seeing you here, all alone,” a gruff voice stated, hands holding her steady. “That’s not wise.” Lily saw one shoe and what looked like a wooden claw under the edge of a cloak.

“Auror Moody!” Lily looked up into the scarred face of the senior Auror and renowned dark wizard hunter, her eyes drawn immediately to the electric blue, wildly spinning eye, replacing the one he had lost.

“Constant vigilance! In times like these no one should venture out alone!” She felt herself bristle at his condescending tone. Who was he to decide if she was able to traverse the populated alley alone?

“There is no reason to be so mean. I’m on my way home and was in no danger. Please let go of my arm.” He really had a strong grip, that would certainly leave bruises. Maybe he hadn’t left the healers’ care too early like she had thought he had.

He let go of her arm and took a step back. “Are you heading home?”

The way his new magical eye spun and seemed to take her in from head to toe was eerie. That there were not more people with eyes like that, made a lot more sense to Lily now. Who wanted to look like that if there was no real need?

“I’m not sure why you need to know that, but I’m going to pick up my son from a friend’s house and then head home. So, if you’ll excuse me?” And without waiting for an answer or reaction, Lily walked away and hurried over to the apparation point.

That had been unnerving. When she made her way up to the owlery to send off the letter she had written for Tom, arranging a new meeting for them, Lily spotted someone lingering at the edge of the wards, at the front of the house where there was a gate in the big iron fence. “You’re not serious. Really?”

She knew that it wasn’t on Tom’s orders, so it probably was not a Death Eater. Would the Ministry send someone over? But why would they suddenly have an interest in her?

If it was neither of those two groups, it had to be the Order. Maybe Moody had seen something? The books she had bought should not have raised any flags.

Or had they?

Lily stood there at the open arches of the owlery and tried to understand why someone would set a guard, or watch, at her home. Casting another secrecy charm on the envelope, Lily made sure to instruct the owl carefully. “Don’t let anyone get the letter but Tom.” After that she penned a warning for Severus. If there was a spy at the edge of her wards, he couldn’t risk being seen visiting her at home.

Done with that she went back down, her mind racing. What should she do now? She had wanted time to get a feeling for everything that was unclear after the attack, but it seemed as if she wouldn’t have the time after all.

Checking that she still had her wedding band on, her portkey created by herself and set to take her to Tom’s home if she needed to flee, Lily started to pack an emergency bag. If the Order decided to turn against her, push her away, then she needed to be prepared.

oooOOooo

Tom had just gotten a letter from Lily, with a hastily scribbled addendum on the envelope warning of a guard at the Manor, when he felt someone calling for him through the Mark before it went dead.

One of his followers had just died. He took a deep breath. There could be a lot of reasons for one of them dying. A few of them were not exactly young anymore, nor had they led healthy lives. But the Mark calling for him had been the one of the person now dead.

With quick steps Tom went down to the entrance of his home, opening the letter to see what Lily had written in it, but didn’t find any hints at the guard she had mentioned on the outside. Maybe she had added it later? He would need to be a lot more careful the next time he made time to visit her. So this new development wasn’t necessarily tied to one of his own being killed, and it probably could wait for a few moments longer.

He made his way over to where he kept all letters from Lily under strong protective enchantments, burned the single hair from his son to fine ash, and vanished that, before he started to apply his Voldemort glamours.

He would need to check who had died and how. Lily was a grown witch and had a portkey that would take her to safety, and which would also bring Harry here if it ever was needed.

Slipping on his robes, Tom apparated over to Headquarters and first called his spies to his side with the help of his locket, which now housed a little image of a stylized baby. He really would like to have an image of Harry in there but he didn’t dare risk even that much.

It didn’t take long for the first spy to arrive, Severus always had been prompt in his response. But one didn’t make an appearance. So maybe Tom had already found the one that had died. “I want you all to keep out an eye out for word of who died this evening just past midnight. Probably a violent death, don’t act if you find something. Return here and report. If I’m not available, leave a report with the elves. You,” he pointed at the kneeling Severus, “remain behind.”

Once everyone was gone, Tom allowed himself to slump a little in his throne. “Be careful when visiting with Mrs. Potter. There probably is someone from the Order watching the house.”

“Yes, my Lord.” Severus accepted the information with a small nod.

“I suspect that Peter Pettigrew might have been killed. Please use your connection with the Order to relay my suspicion that one of my spies was killed. If someone from them knows anything I wish to know it. You’re dismissed.”

Severus rose and bowed before leaving as quickly as he had appeared.

After that Tom called different groups of his Death Eaters, instructing them all to keep their eyes open and their ears peeled for shreds of information.

Then he waited.

Not something that he was really good at.

So he started some simple meditations, and tried to decide who might have set a watch on Potter Manor and for what reasons. Could he risk flying over to ask Lily? He never had transformed while on the grounds but he also had never asked if he was allowed to.

It was light outside before he was informed by the wards that one of his Death Eaters had returned.

It was Severus who strode in, went down on one knee, and waited with bowed head to be acknowledged.

“You have news?” He really was bad at waiting.

“Yes, my Lord,” Severus answered. “Dumbledore decided to introduce his spy inside the Death Eaters to the Order today, after I brought him the information that you, my Lord, suspected that Peter Pettigrew had been killed. He made me wear a mask and didn’t say my name. I’m not sure what his motives are. But I was able to witness the meeting and can inform you with confidence that Pettigrew was killed by Sirius Black last night.”

Tom wanted to roll his eyes at Dumbledore’s actions. Why bring in the spy and make them wear a mask? Proving that there actually was a spy? Somehow it felt like such an action was more likely to create confusion and distrust than help with morale.

“Show me,” Tom ordered, waving his wand at the patch of floor in front of his throne, conjuring a cushion for Severus to kneel on.

It didn’t take more for Severus to understand what was required of him. He rose, walked the short distance to the cushion, sank down on it gracefully, and removed his mask, before turning his face up so that Tom had an unobstructed line of sight to the dark eyes of his Potions Master.

Tom silently cast legilimens and found himself almost instantly in a kitchen he never had been in in person. Working with another Legilimens and Occlumens in something like this was so much easier than combing through the minds of his less talented followers. Only Severus managed to present specific memories so flawlessly. Always had, even before he had perfected his technique.

There were several people around the kitchen, and not one surprise among them. It had been rather easy to identify the members of Dumbledore’s little resistance group. As they weren’t wearing any masks when coming to assist in one scuffle or the other, that was hardly surprising.

Severus was standing in one corner of the room, wall at his back, a window to his left and a relatively clear path to the only door in the room at his feet. Sensible precautions.

Albus Dumbledore was seated at a round table in a chair that noticeably was more elaborately decorated than the rest. Maybe he had conjured it for himself. The old man always had had an interesting taste for the elaborate and flashy.

The Headmaster was speaking. “Our spy in the ranks of the Death Eaters,” here he waved towards where Severus was standing, wrapped in black from head to toe, a simple black, velvet mask concealing his features, “Came to me with the information that Voldemort thinks one of his spies is dead. He even gave the name of that spy, and I’m sad to inform you that our suspicion against Peter was true.” Dumbledore let his head drop at that as if he truly had believed that Peter Pettigrew had not given up the Potters’ hiding place of his own free will.

Black, Sirius that is, was grumbling under his breath loud enough for Severus to hear, and probably intentionally so. “Only you thought he might have been forced. I told you from the start that his mother vanishing had nothing to do with coercion. Peter, the rat, simply took her with him into hiding.”

“And is he dead?” one of two identically looking red-heads, which had to be the Prewett brothers, asked.

“Yes!” Black answered with force. “I finally tracked him down in one of those hideouts some of the rough werewolf packs are using. In fact I was looking for that Greyback guy. But anyway, Peter was there, had a whole camp set up. With sleeping bag and rudimentary wards. Didn’t see me coming, though. Started pleading and making excuses. I cut off his sleeve.” Now Black looked smug, and Tom was almost sure he heard Severus making a small scoffing noise, unnoticed by the group hanging onto Black’s words as he regaled them with his heroic story. “And there was that ugly Dark Mark, as clear as the sun in the sky on a warm August day! Then he suddenly went into the offensive. Sprang at me, pressed his wand to his arm, and then tried to transform. I got him with a tripping charm, but he fell really unluckily. Broke his neck, or so it looked at least. You can’t imagine the paperwork I had to fill out. Even though the mark clearly was proof he was a Death Eater, the slimy traitor.”

The reactions after Black had finished his tale were mostly positive, congratulations for his good catch, sympathy for all the paperwork and the like.

Tom watched through more reports most of a less interesting nature. One rather old wizard reported on his attempt to gain his neighbour’s support, and as Tom watched everyone but the speaker, he thought he had seen some speculative glances from Black and the other Aurors towards Severus. Was this intended as a test to see if their spy was actually trustworthy? So far nothing had been discussed or shown that he hadn’t already known. If he didn’t count the bit about the old wizard’s neighbour.

The meeting was about to be broken up when a Patronus in the form of an old gnarly dog slipped into the room, stopping in front of Dumbledore and spoke in Moody’s voice. “I need to talk to you, Albus. Alone.” Before vanishing.

Severus slowly walked out of the room as the rest of the people present turned to gossip and dispersed slowly themselves.

Tom exited the memory when Severus had left the house and walked purposefully towards the edge of a rather enormous garden. The meeting seemed to have taken place at Longbottom Manor.

Slowly Tom regained his sense of reality and the big gathering room they were in. Severus was still kneeling at his feet, now a little paler than he had been when they had started.

“Thank you, Severus. This could be a ruse to test if you really are loyal to them. Make sure to keep whatever tedious and seemingly inconsequential things you heard at that meeting to yourself. I will pretend to not know of Peter’s death for certain until one of my Aurors reports on it. I assume that Dumbledore did not give you leave to talk about the information you got at that meeting?”

“That is correct, my Lord,” Severus answered with a respectful incline of his head.

“Do you need a headache potion before you apparate?” Severus was looking worse by the minute. Tom had been careful in his spy’s memories. He hadn’t damaged him, had he?

“I’m sorry, my Lord. I’m not sure I’m able to apparate…” Suddenly his eyes crossed and the tall figure lost balance, slumping into an ungraceful heap.

Alarmed, Tom was out of his seat, levitating the other wizard into a lying position, in seconds. The moment Tom had positioned Severus on the floor, he started casting diagnostic charms and noticed only a few signs pointing to a severe migraine and no more dangerous damage.

Deciding the best course of action would be to let the man rest, and sleep it out, Tom once again cast a spell used to levitate the injured away from a battlefield and made his way to one of the guest rooms in this house.

With swift efficient movements the room was cleared of any strong smells, dust, and whatever else there was, as the house elves didn’t clean up here all that often, and Severus was placed on the bed under a warm but light cover. Usually the guest rooms went unused at Headquarters, but it wouldn’t do for him to take Severus home. Maybe that building was under watch as well. Setting a few wards on the man so he would be informed should his health decline, Tom shortly contemplated writing a letter for him, so that Severus would know where he was on waking. In the end Tom decided to inform the elves of their guest and instruct them to inform Severus about his location upon waking. “You also may tell him he can take this opportunity to claim that I tortured him for being unable to bring any useful information on the death of one of his brethren.”

“Floppy will do that, Master,” was the happily chirped answer by the elf, and once he was gone Tom once more felt the cold shiver of dread run down his spine. It happened, though not every single time he interacted with one of the elves, the descendants of the once proud and powerful High Elves. But from time to time the dependence they had on human magicals came into stark focus, throwing a harsh light on what all human magicals stood to lose should they not manage to change their ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First published on 1st of May 2020  
> last edited 17th of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	11. Chapter 14 - Friendly Fire

Lily was there because she had been at home when the call came. Just as she was every day since guards had been posted at her home. When she had asked the Headmaster, he had said it was to make sure she and Harry were safe from Voldemort. When she had asked if they had enough people to put guards on both Potter Manor and Longbottom Manor, Lily was pretty sure that he had flinched. The next day Alice told her that there was a guard on their home as well.

“Does everyone know what they have to do?” Moody, who had taken over briefing, asked before launching into another explanation anyway. “Group one will guard the perimeter. Warn us if someone comes in and keep muggles away.” Moody looked at the group in question and got a series of nods back in answer. “Group two will get the children out of there without paying attention to anything else, you’ll be the last group to be portkeyed.” Moody looked at the group of mostly women Lily was a part of. She felt a little miffed at that division of labour as she was as capable as any of the Aurors when it came to duelling, but she had agreed to the reasoning that children were more likely to go with a witch they didn’t know then with a man foreign to them.

Moody turned to the last group which contained all the Aurors they had in the Order, and who could come, as well as the Headmaster. “We’ll go in first, confront the werewolves, take out any Death Eaters who might be there, and protect the house and garden.” More nodding followed that proclamation.

Not that they had talked this strategy through for the last hour. Lily just knew that, was she to say anything, the sarcasm would have been thick enough to walk on. Sure, they didn’t plan to portkey in just before moonrise and had the time to spare. But Lily still thought that trying to actually catch the werewolves in the act was the wrong priority here. They should get the children and other civilians out of there now, and not wait till they were in danger.

But those that made the calls hadn’t agreed with her.

So they were trying to do both, get the wolves out of the picture and rescue their targets at the same time.

Remus, who had brought them the information pretty short notice, was down in the cellar of the abandoned house they had met in, and the children were all gathered at Longbottom Manor under the watch of the house elves.

If Lily had been the one in charge, they would have done it a lot differently.

“It’s almost time,” the Headmaster announced, putting his elaborate watch back into his pocket. “Gather around your portkeys.” Only one or two of them did know where exactly they were supposed to apparate to, so they would go by portkey and return by apparating back into this house or Longbottom Manor.

Lily turned so she was facing the others from her group, picking up the old and torn plastic bag that had been turned into a portkey by the Headmaster. Then she turned so she was facing to the outside of the circle they were now forming. Better to be prepared for the worst than hope for the best in a battle like this.

Remus’ life had been hard as far as she was aware. She didn’t wish that on innocent children.

She would have to ask Tom what his actual stance on werewolves was, as she had trouble reconcil ing his image and what she had so far translated from the text she had copied with what the Order and the public claimed the Death Eaters’ agenda was on that front.

But later.

Now she needed her head in the game, to make sure she would return from this mission in one piece. For Harry.

First the group of fighters vanished in a swirl of bright colours. Then, a few seconds later, the group that was tasked with guarding their backs was whisked away as well. Lily braced herself for the unpleasantness that was portkey travel, and wasn’t surprised by the hook catching behind her navel, pulling her forwards and upwards into the vortex of colours.

She bent her knees a little so she wouldn’t stumble on landing and let go of the bag the moment they arrived.

They were in the dark, only the full moon, slowly showing up behind the bare trees, casting any light. She looked around, wand in hand, and only spotted the house because it was a darker shadow in the dark surrounding them. Keeping an eye out for roots that she could trip over, Lily made her way over to the house as quickly as she dared. She felt more than saw the others from her group do the same.

Before they even had reached the doors spellfire started to cast unsteady light onto the scene. Then Lily heard the first howl of a werewolf and started to run. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, and she felt herself quiver in excitement.

She reached the door, opened already by someone else, hopefully by one of her allies and not one of their enemies, and went in. They had been told that the children slept in the rooms on the second floor, so Lily searched for the stairs. When she reached them Alice and the rest entered the house behind her.

Who had opened the door?

Lily reached the landing on the second floor and looked around. Flashes of colour hinted at the fight taking place outside, but didn’t give enough light to actually see by.

There was a giggle and the sound of small running feet just to be heard above the heavier steps on the stairs and the fight outside.

The group split up, Lily turning to the left, checking the first door and finding herself in what looked like a child’s room. A few cracking sounds did indicate that the first children had been brought to safety, and Lily looked around the room she was in to find the child that should be sleeping in here.

When a small form brushed by her, and she heard running feet and another giggle, Lily swore, and turned to follow. “Hey, don’t run away! Stop!” Calling out sotto voce wasn’t easy, but she couldn’t very well yell and potentially attract attention from someone she didn’t want to notice her.

But the child didn’t stop, running faster down the stairs, short hair sticking up in all directions, the too-long sleeves of the pyjamas rolled back to the elbows.

Did the child think this was a game of ta g ?

“Stop!” Lily tried to run fast enough to catch the little troublemaker, but slipped on something on the stairs, catching herself on the banister just in time to avoid falling. “Owl shit.” Lily swore with feeling under her breath.

A door creaked on its hinges and Lily swore once more. Why did they have to disregard her opinion on getting the family out early?

Preparing herself mentally for what she was about to see, Lily ran after the child she wanted to bring to safety, out into the garden, where there were werewolves and Order members fighting, judging by the sounds and ongoing spellfire.

Against a fire someone had caused in one of the bushes, Lily spotted the child, rooted to the spot, obviously frightened by what was happening. Lily ran over, going to her knees to pick the child up, turning to get a look at the battle before she would be apparating away.

And then she saw it: Benjy Fenwick casting a blasting curse, aiming for a leaping werewolf but catching Dumbledore instead. Lily saw the blast and felt the urge to run and help, but the tasks had been clearly defined and her job was to bring the children to safety. So she clutched the child harder to herself, and turned on her heel, concentrating on the receiving room of Longbottom Manor, vanishing from the battle with a crack that went unheard in the commotion.

“Lily!” She was greeted the moment she landed on the carpet in front of the floo. Alice was there looking worried. “What took you so long?”

“This little rascal thought we were playing tag,” Lily explained, a little out of breath and shaken up by what she had seen.

Was the Headmaster badly injured?

And then the little girl started to cry, clutching tightly to Lily’s chest.

They moved out of the receiving room to the kitchen where they tried to calm the children down and waited for the others to come back or send a message.

The tension in the room was thick enough to walk on, and they couldn’t keep a conversation going, as much as they did try.

“Have you decided what you want to do over Easter, Lily?” Alice asked, passing around mugs of hot chocolate, which filled the room with their delicious scent.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Lily answered, arranging the little girl in her lap, so that they both could drink small sips from the hot drink.

“Why don’t you visit your sister? How long ago did you last see her?” Dorcas asked, a smile on her face. She clearly had no idea what she was talking about.

Alice rolled her eyes, having listened to more than one rant about how Petunia Dursley had cut her sister from her life quite effectively.

“That would be rather short notice. She has no magic, and a little son of her own. I wouldn’t want to burden her.” Of course it was still weeks until Easter, but still Lily had no intention of visiting her sister, brother-in-law, and nephew over Easter, or at any other time.

And this next attempt at a conversation died an awkward death.

Then the Order arrived.

Alice embraced her husband Frank, who had a small cut on one cheek. Then she looked around and saw a body wrapped in conjured cloth being levitated by a solemn looking Gideon.

“What happened?” Alice’s question was faint, as if she didn’t dare voice it, fearing it would become true.

“Don’t know exactly,” Moody answered, his voice gruff, and his manner businesslike. “Other than we were too late. Looks like Albus was hit with an explosion. We got quite a few of the wolves, and there was not one Death Eater present as far as we know at the moment. We’ll have to see, but for now,” Moody turned around, taking a look at them all and the children peeking around the witches that had brought them here. Then they saw their parents and raced over making enough noise to drown out whatever Moody was saying.

So Moody waved them over and away from the teary family reunion.

Lily let go of the little girl she had brought here, and followed the others to another room not too far from the kitchen. She had seen what had happened, and was sure that Moody would asked them all for their account in the usual way they did a debriefing after all fights.

But that wasn’t the case.

“Albus is dead,” Moody said without much preamble. “I’ll be taking over for him in leading the Order. First I’ll need to contact his spies, see who might have let slip that we knew of this attack. Why else were no Death Eaters on the scene?” Lily didn’t think that was a compelling argument. Who would want to fight on a full moon night when it was known transformed werewolves would be there? And if they had been betrayed, shouldn’t there have been a lot of Death Eaters to take them out once and for all?

“I’ll contact you soon. Now go home, make sure your families are safe and you’re not suspected of having fought in the battle that Albus didn’t survive. I’ll make sure it’ll look like he followed me when I got an urgent call in my function as Auror.” Moody started to give more specific orders to the Aurors among them, and Lily didn’t stick around to listen.

She had to take Harry and go home. Then she would have to make sure Severus knew that he would be interrogated. His situation was precarious at best, and the death of the one who had brought him in, and used him, but also vouched for him, only made it more so.

“Hello, baby,” she greeted Harry who was sitting on the floor listening to a story being read to the children gathered there by Madame Longbottom.

The old witch only smiled at Lily as she picked up her son, who started to fuss, not breaking her story telling.

“Hush,” Lily soothed the little boy in her arms. “It’s late and we’re expected back at home. I’ll read you a story later when you go to bed. What do you think of that?”

“Good,” Harry answered nodding his head in an adorably earnest way.

But Lily really hadn’t the mind at the moment to appreciate the cuteness, just nodded towards Frank’s mother and made her way back to the receiving room so she could floo home before anything else could happen. She had a bad feeling that the Order would take a turn to the more extreme under Moody’s lead.

On the way up to their rooms Harry snuggled up close to her, his thumb tucked into his mouth, eyes falling closed slowly. “Yes it’s late, isn’t it? I’ll tuck you in.”

Once she had switched Harry’s clothes – shirt, trousers and a little robe – for his pyjamas with a swish of her wand, and tucked him under the covers, she walked over to the short shelve holding all his books to select one to read from.

Her hands were trembling.

Harry’s green eyes followed her motions under half closed lids, and she settled at the side of his bed, to read to him.

But before she started she took out her wand and cast her patronus. Once the silvery doe stood before her, ears flicking back and forth as if it was searching for threats, Lily gave a short message for it to deliver. “Go and inform Severus. The Headmaster was killed, Moody is taking over, be careful.”

Trying to distract herself with reading the story about the fountain of fair fortune with different voices for all characters, Lily worked hard to contain her feelings for when Harry would be asleep.

She wasn’t sure if she was angry, afraid, grieving, or all of the  above , but she felt the turmoil just below the surface of her occlumency barriers. She would deal with  those emotions later.

oooOOooo

Tom flew towards his destination with great care to appear  like any other normal bird. There were curious rumours making the rounds of the Ministry, and the morning Prophet had also alluded to those claims that Albus Dumbledore had been at least severely injured during a scuffle the night before. If they were true, the guard on Potter Manor would be even more  alert than  on a  normal  day .

And Tom really wanted this morning to go as planned. He was invited for breakfast, and he was going to be there. If Dumbledore was injured, he would be in a safe place, and if he was dead, then that was less important than visiting his own son at his home. Tom did **not** want to be like his own father, so his son had to come first.

In any situation.

He didn’t spot a human anywhere near the place where they normally took shelter from the winds blasting through these hills this early in February. But that only said that whoever was guarding this morning was better at hiding than those Tom had seen here before.

He made his way over to where Lily kept a place stocked for all the birds living here or crossing the grounds. Or those who came visiting like Tom did quite regularly by now. There was a fresh apple cut open, which smelled delicious. Tom took a few pecks and then made his escape into a hedge much closer to the building itself when an owl launched itself from the owlery. That had been fortunate. Fleeing from such an efficient hunter was only natural for a smaller bird. Even if a magpie was no ordinary songbird.

Now that he was effectively out of view from the edges of the wardline and the property, he could move much more purposefully and search for the window that Lily had written would be open for him.

Once he spotted it, Tom carefully hopped over, perching on the windowsill, taking a good look around the room he would enter in a moment. It looked like a cosy sitting room, empty but for the usual furniture one would expect in such a room, and with a nice fire burning in the fireplace. There even was a rug that would be the perfect space to turn back on.

One hop brought Tom from outside into the room, and he felt a ward being tripped by his entering the room. That had been a rather simple and inconsequential alert ward. One of the more effective ones if one wanted to have a warning, but not alert anyone to the ward’s presence. Its simplicity made it limited in what it could do, but also that much harder to spot.

Assuming that Lily had set the ward to make sure he wouldn’t have to wait that long, Tom flapped his wings to make his way over to the rug he had spotted from the window.

Before he could transform back, Tom heard someone running down the corridor before who- or whatever it was collided with the door. Someone chuckled, and the knob was turned and the door opened, making the way free for a toddler to burst into the room, looking around searching for someone.

“Tom?” That Harry, his son, was asking for him, looking searchingly around the room caused Tom’s heart to soar.

He made a cawing sound, drawing the child’s attention to where he was sitting on the floor.

Harry was quite a bit bigger than he, and Lily, who had entered the room behind their son, was bigger still.

Well, that was an intimidating position to be in. On the  floor, so much smaller than two others in the room.

Tom tilted his head and Harry exclaimed, “Birb!” clapping his hands in excitement, eliciting a laugh from Lily.

She looked rather pale, and were her eyes red?

“He’s a pretty bird, isn’t he?” the red-headed witch said, coming to crouch behind her son, enveloping him in her arms. “I told you that Tom would visit us today. Do you remember?” Harry nodded and said something that probably was supposed to be a confirmation of some kind. “He is a rather accomplished wizard and has mastered the art of transforming into an animal. Like your godfather, who can turn into a dog.” Harry nodded again and said “Pa’food!” which seemed to be of some meaning to Lily, who nodded.

“Exactly like Padfoot. But Tom turns into a bird. A magpie to be exact. Say hello to Tom in his Mr. Magpie form.” Lily waved and Harry copied that movement after a moment.

“Hello!”

Tom cawed again, then looked around to make sure there was enough space and turned back into his human form, going to the effort not to emerge standing but kneeling on the floor. He didn’t want to loom over the two of them.

“Tom!” Harry called out and wiggled in an attempt to escape from his mother’s arms. Tom extended his arms a little in invitation, not daring to look at Lily’s face and see what she might feel in this very moment.

Tom was delighted that Harry seemed to like him, but he also was acutely aware that he had been the one to kill Lily’s husband. That he had been the one who had attacked them in their home. The fact that Harry was too young to understand all of that didn’t erase the circumstances of the whole situation.

Lily let Harry go, only supporting him enough to make sure the small boy wouldn’t stumble on his way over. Just a moment later Tom had an armful of little human with sticky hands taking a firm hold of Tom’s hair.

“I’m so glad to see you, Harry,” Tom murmured into the little boy’s hair, carefully manoeuvring them so he could stand up. He looked over to Lily and was now entirely sure that something was wrong. “What’s the matter?”

“Let’s move this to the other room, eat breakfast, have some tea. I’ll explain then.” She had cried, and looked as if she hadn’t gotten enough sleep, but Tom only nodded. If he had learned anything during the time Lily and he had started to establish some kind of relationship between them for Harry’s benefit, it was that pushing her to open up, or tell him things, was never a good idea. He only had tried that twice, but that had been enough.

She would tell him what the matter was when she was ready and willing to do so, and not a second sooner.

So they settled at a table laden with different breakfast food s and a nice pot of tea. There was a high chair for Harry, and Tom settled the boy in  it, w h ere he could eat his porridge with applesauce on his own.

They filled their plates. Tom levitated the teapot over so Lily could top off her cup with hot tea, and then they started to eat.

“This is very good.” Tom broke the silence after a moment, feeling a little out of his depth. Until now, Lily and Harry had come to his home. It had been years since he had tried to engage in honest social interaction without a level of deception between himself and the other individuals. Either he was Lord Voldemort, and relying heavily on his power and the intimidation factor of his appearance, or he was pretending to be someone else, depending on the situation, so he could gather information.

At the moment he had a major case of nerves going.

“Be glad it wasn’t me who made this,” Lily joked. “I’m not all that good at cooking, and didn’t sleep very much last night.”

That she hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night was obvious, and Tom only needed the time for chewing and swallowing the bite of toast with honey to decide he would take this as an invitation to ask what was on her mind. “What kept you up?”

Lily sighed, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “The Order was warned about a planned ambush, or rather attack, by Fenrir Greyback. I was called in to help evacuate the children he was aiming for. That’s why I was out late…” She sighed again, toying with her own slice of toasted bread. Taking another bite of scrambled eggs, Tom simply waited, she hadn’t asked him anything and this wasn’t an interrogation.

Rescuing the spoon Harry was using from falling to the floor, Lily paused a moment before returning to answering Tom’s question. “There was a fight, obviously.  N ot as much as everyone had expected, as there were werewolves but no wizards attacking the house. And wh en I ran after a little child, I  ended up outside the house and there I saw…” She closed her eyes and Tom wondered what she had seen.

He had tried to get some of the werewolves onto his side, and had managed to get a few of the more moderate individuals to agree to work with him and his. Greyback hadn’t been among them. That wizard wanted to wreak havoc and infect as many as he could, not a partner Tom would take on willingly. But having some willing werewolves help with guarding magical places around Britain, and help with tracking and gathering intelligence in the seedier places Tom’s pure-blooded, well-bred followers would stand out in like a sore thumb, was helpful.

So obviously he hadn’t had any followers at the attack last night. And he hadn’t even known about it. He needed to get a better source for information on the rough wolves.

“The Headmaster was struck by a stray spell. He died. Moody took over. But that’s the last I know, as I took Harry and went home.” Lily seemed to be sad, but not as sad as he would have suspected. Maybe she was still in shock?

“I’m not sure what Moody will do. Mostly I’m not sure what to think in general at the moment,” Lily confessed and took a large gulp from her cup of tea.

Tom himself was rather shocked as well.

Dumbledore dead.

“That’s somehow rather anticlimactic,” he heard himself say, feeling somehow detached.

Lily gave him an incredulous look, and Tom hurried to explain himself. “I mean, in all the stories, the myths and songs, all heroes and villains somehow find an epic end. Or at least a peaceful one after a long, happiness-filled life. Being killed by friendly fire?” Tom faltered, and realized what had him troubled. “He was my main obstacle for a very long time. I had dreams about us fighting to the end. And now, he’s simply gone. Killed in a fight none of mine was even involved in… that’s… I’m sorry my rambling is probably insensitive, but I didn’t think there was anything resembling the truth in the rumours I’d heard.”

Lily waved away his apology, and concentrated back on her plate. “I guess the news will be out pretty soon. He is… was a rather public figure, after all.”

Tom hummed in agreement and waved at Harry who was looking at him from his place at the table. “That’s true. Maybe the fighting will not last as long as I had feared. But Alastor Moody is a rather paranoid man, and willing to go to some extremes to reach his goals. Did you know that he is trying to get permission for the Aurors to use the Unforgivables when they suspect that they are confronted with Death Eaters?”

Tom wasn’t really sure what he thought about that proposal. His own Aurors would benefit from that freedom as well, but the vague way it was formulated was reason to worry. Any number of people could get on the wrong side of a wand that way. Such a slacking of the rules was prone to be misused.

“I didn’t know that,” Lily answered. “But it sounds like something that Moody would advocate for.”

They finished their breakfast in a more sombre mood, and then retreated to one of the sitting rooms where Tom transformed into his animagus form for Harry’s entertainment. The little boy‘s laughter was contagious and managed to lighten the mood considerably.

That changed suddenly when one of the house elves made an appearance in the middle of the room, startling Harry so that he started to cry, running for his mother in search of comfort. Tom quickly transformed back and turned to the worried looking elf. “Yes?”

“Master! Potions Master Snape is hurt. Blood on the floor! Asked to see Master, urgent news he said.”

Tom turned to Lily, who was half standing already, and waved her back into her seat. “I’ll let you know if I should need help, but I don’t think that you want to risk being seen in the Death Eaters’ Headquarters. Don’t worry, I’m a decent battlefield healer.” And with that Tom activated his portkey home, from where he apparated over to Headquarters. He didn’t pause to cast his usual glamours and started to run the moment he had arrived, to carelessly fall onto his knees next to the heavily breathing and bleeding man on the floor of the big meeting hall.

“The Dark Lord,” Severus clutched at Tom’s sleeve, clearly asking for the Dark Lord to be informed or to come here.

“Be still, Severus. I’m here. And I hurried. Let’s see where all that blood is coming from. After I have patched you up, you can report. Can’t have you dying on me.” The injured wizard’s eyes widened, and Tom got out his wand and started casting spells. “Seems as if you splinched yourself.” Tom murmured, and started to remove articles of clothing until he found the patch on the man’s shoulder where he had left behind some of his skin. That would need some Essence of Dittany and probably would scar.

“ _Accio_ Dittany!” Tom cast in the direction of his emergency stash of potions he had hidden near one of the windows behind his throne. A bottle whizzed through the air and was caught in one hand. Tom plucked out the cork and let the liquid drop on the wound, watching as it quickly knit closed.

The cork replaced, Tom vanished the blood and fixed the rips he had made in the robe’s fabric with another quick flick of his wand. “How do you feel, Severus? Do you think you can stand without keeling over?”

“Probably not, my Lord.” One could say a lot of things about Severus Snape, but he was not slow on the uptake.

Tom flicked his wand, and had to refrain from rolling his eyes, when Severus flinched, first in anticipation of a curse or something along those lines, and then because his flinching had hurt. The diagnostic showed what Tom already had suspected. “I think a blood replenishing potion is in order.”

So Tom accioed another potion from his emergency store making sure that his Potions Master swallowed it all, even  though it wasn’t one Severus had brewed himself. Then he decided that it would be more comfortable if they settled in another room, and that it would be safer, too.

Severus gave a surprised sound when Tom cast a featherlight charm on him, and picked him up bridal style. He didn’t suppress his chuckle this time, and felt even more amused when Severus blushed.

They quickly made it to a small parlour, and Tom deposited the other wizard onto a small velvet-covered ottoman, before settling down in the armchair across from it.

“Please report, Severus.” Tom was pretty sure that the wizard wasn’t entirely sure that he was interacting with the Dark Lord, and now that he was no longer in danger of dying from blood loss, started to question the situation again. Rolling his eyes, Tom pointed his wand at himself, casting the basic glamours he used to make his eyes appear red as blood and his face flat as a snake’s, hiding all his hair, his nose, and the ears. “It’s me, Severus, and if you insist I can go through the motions and put on the usual getup, but I would really rather not. So please report.”

Severus swallowed and licked his lips, but nodded and started to report. “Albus Dumbledore was killed last night. I don’t know how, but I got the impression it wasn’t a natural cause. Alastor Moody has taken over the leadership of the Order, and called in all the people Albus had on his list of spies. Or that’s what they told me when I arrived. I had been warned that the old Headmaster was dead, and wasn’t taken by surprise. But Alastor Moody certainly has  fewer scruples than the old Headmaster had. And he seems to prefer intimidation and violence over the guilt trips Albus Dumbledore liked to employ.”

Nothing new there so far, but Tom only nodded to indicate he was listening, and had no questions for his spy.

“He had a lot of questions, details of where I had been the evening before, if I had known of the planned attack beforehand, and more general questions like my stance on the use of some specific potions, and the old traditions. When they started to ask about Lily Potter and if I had had any contact with her recently, I felt that the situation was getting out of hand. I had been called to what looked like an abandoned muggle house. Someone had put up rudimentary wards. When one of the Order brought out a phial with what looked like water and claimed it was Veritaserum and that I would have to use some if I wanted them to trust me, I started to look for ways to escape.” Severus took a deep breath, and Tom conjured a glass filled with water for the man to sip from.

Blood-replenishing potions were a stopgap measure: they didn’t really replace what was lost, only pulled what was needed to form blood from the body itself. Severus needed water, and iron, and some proteins. Water was easiest, so Tom gave him that for the moment.

“Thank you, my Lord.” Severus accepted the glass with slightly trembling hands, took a sip, and continued to speak. “Their threats became less and less veiled. I don’t think that Moody really trusts anyone with even a little inclination towards the dark or towards our old traditions. In the end I had the choice between trying to break through the wards, or being discovered. They had what looked like magic-restricting bands at hand. It was get away then and there or never.” He took another, longer, sip from the glass. “So, I broke through the wards, and landed here.”

“So you splinched yourself breaking through the wards?” Tom asked for clarification. Severus nodded, taking a bigger swallow from the glass. “And they asked you specifically about Lily Potter?” That sounded as if Lily was suspected. Of what exactly wasn’t clear, but with a madman like Moody in charge, that didn’t really matter anyway. If she was suspected, she and Harry were in danger.

“Yes. They were interested to learn if I had been in contact with her. I assume they already knew I had been, because they got more hostile when I denied regular contact.”

Tom nodded and raised his wand once more. “ _Expecto Patronum._ ” In the past it had been hard to recall a memory suitable to conjure a Patronus, but now he simply needed to remember how Harry had run over to him, to hug him, and the silvery magic formed into his Patronus without much effort.

“Go to Lily. Warn her that Severus has been found out, and the suspicions on her probably only have grown.” Severus sat there slack-jawed and wide-eyed, as the silvery serpent moved out of the room through the door with sinuous movements of its body.

Tom pretended not to notice, and wrapped himself in an air of professionalism. “I would guess that you can’t return to your post as Potions Brewer, or your home. So you’ll stay here and take over all the brewing that needs to be done. You can use one of the empty guest rooms. Rest, and tomorrow we’ll see if we can get some of your things here. Hopefully your confinement to this house will not be a long one. Do you have any more questions?”

“No questions, my Lord.” That was a blatant lie, as Tom could see the questions swirl behind those dark deep eyes, but he let it slide. Most of those questions probably were half-formed, or easily answered by Severus himself once he had enough time to actually process what had happened today.

It didn’t take long to move Severus to one of the empty rooms of the Manor, and place the man on the bed and under the covers so that he would get the rest he needed. “I’ll make sure that you get something to eat and drink once you wake. But now rest. Stay in the house, or at least inside the garden walls if you need to go outside. I’ll be back soon.”

Then Tom made sure that the elves were aware that Severus would be living in their house for the time being, making them inexplicably happy.

Back at home he found a doe Patronus waiting for him with a message from Lily. There still was a guard at the edge of her wards and she thought it prudent that he not come back with letters or to visit in the next few days. Tom didn’t agree, as he was sure the magpie suddenly missing from the garden might be a hint, but it was her house, and her rules. He had decided to let her dictate when and how they interacted, and he was going to stick with that decision.

With Dumbledore’s death, he needed to change his plans, identify new openings he could use and how to make the best of them all to end this war as fast as possible. It was a lot to do, but it sounded more than promising. So he set to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I‘m currently editing earlier chapters as my beta readers give me feedback. This chapter isn‘t yet beta read, so all errors are my own.
> 
> First published 8th of May 2020  
> last edited 21th of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	12. Chapter 15 - Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the chapters I wrote during NaNoWriMo 2019. I have since added a little more to what I have, but I expect updates to slow down considerably from now on.

Ever since Tom had been called away the day after Albus’ death because Severus had been badly injured, Lily had kept a lookout for Moody or others from the Order. She was pretty sure they suspected that she was wavering.

But she wasn’t sure what they would do to find out if their suspicion was in any way close to fact. Or what they would do once they knew it was true.

She didn’t even dare think about what Alastor Moody might deem appropriate and/or necessary to do with the child of the wizard he was fighting against so adamantly. Lily might have accepted that Harry was the son of herself and her one-night stand with the current Dark Lord. As proclaimed by his followers. But she had a feeling the other members of the Order wouldn’t take that one well.

“Mama!” Harry patted her arm insistently, clearly wanting her attention, and unhappy with her being distracted. So she turned her attention to her son, who was smiling up at her with the teeth he already had.

“That looks quite interesting, Harry.” Lily laughed when she saw how Harry had decorated the front of yesterday’s Daily Prophet by moving a biro pen around one of the big moving photographs of one Quidditch game.

It was still early but today’s Daily Prophet should be here already. “Let’s see if there’s a newspaper for me to read as well. Shall we?” Harry was only too happy to be set down and run along the hall followed by his mother, which made Lily smile. Her little miracle baby was growing up so fast!

There was indeed the newspaper of the day next to the small pile of letters that came most days with the post. The wards held away anything that would be truly dangerous, and most were random letters from witches expressing their condolences, while offering up their own sons, and people inquiring of her to enchant something for them.

She ignored the letters for the moment, but picked up the rolled-up Daily Prophet, wandering over to sit down on the stairs, from where she could keep an eye on Harry, who was playing in the colourful splotches of light falling through the glass windows on both sides of the doors.

_Order of the Phoenix declared_ _illegal_ _vigilant_ _e_ _group!_

Was the headline directly under an image of Minister Bagnold making the proclamation to the press.

Lily’s eyes flew over the lines of the article and she quickly gathered the reasoning employed by the Wizengamot and the Ministry to make the unofficial stance among many, the official policy.

 _While the willingness to help their fellow magicians was a sentiment highly appreciated, it would have been better if they, untrained civilians, had informed the proper authorities,_ was one sentence in the part explaining the reasoning behind the order. And that was the tenor throughout the whole article: that the sentiment of helping another in need was admirable, but that fighting against werewolves was better left to those trained in something like that. There were also allusions to the lynch-mob mentality that was to be avoided at all costs, as well as the importance of proper procedure when dealing with crimes. There was, after all, a policy of “innocent until proven guilty” in their country.

All in all, it was a well-crafted piece of manipulation. Lily wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Tom had been the one to write it. And even if he hadn’t, this whole setup smelled of his doings. She had known that Tom would use the death of his biggest adversary to his advantage. But this was not what she had been expecting.

Happy laughter drew her attention to where Harry was swatting at the wood of the floor, chasing after a moving shadow on said floor. And once again she wondered if she should accept Tom’s offer and move herself and Harry over to his house. They would be safe there, and maybe even freer than they were here at Potter Manor. With guards of the Order all around the ward‘s edge, she no longer felt safe outside in the gardens. And she still was believed to be part of the Order, making her a target for people thinking they would gain favour with the Dark Lord Voldemort by capturing or killing her.

She knew that this situation was mostly her fault. She couldn’t decide what to do. But maybe she could make a public declaration distancing herself from the Order without declaring herself for the other side. It would make it possible for Tom to give out orders to shield her. And she would be free to act. Maybe alert the Aurors to people lingering at the edge of her wards. That probably wasn’t exactly legal. It might not be exactly illegal either, but it certainly would warrant some Auror investigation when it was going on as long as it had so far.

Lily sighed, and then suddenly tensed.

There were people at the wards.

More than a casual visit would warrant.

And much closer than just passing by would warrant. And a few of them had crossed the wards and were on their way to the manor.

“Shit.” She swore with feeling, snatching Harry up from the floor. Who was that?

Then the bell at the front door sounded

“Lily!” Alice tried to sound cheerful, but her effort fell flat. “Are you home?”

“Where else would she be?” Sirius asked, sounding a lot more convincing than Alice had. Either he was a better actor than Lily had believed him to be, or he simply didn’t take this situation as seriously as he probably should.

“I don’t know,” Alice said, sounding sad and worried. “She hasn’t been over visiting in ages.”

“Don’t make more of it than there is,” Sirius said, laughing in a way that made it clear he was trying to cover up some unpleasant feelings. “Maybe she’s still grieving. You know how long it took for her to come out again after James was murdered. Now Albus is dead as well. And she was there and couldn’t help. You can’t claim that any one of us is dealing well with his sudden death.”

“Yeah, well,” Alice answered, clearly wanting to disagree, but not finding any reasons to do so. “But she didn’t even write an answer to any of my letters.”

And she wasn’t going to answer the door,  either . There were people waiting just outside her wards. Why would they do that  if they had honest intentions? And the two people who had still permission to enter the wards, that were part of the Order, were there standing at her door pretending everything was ok ay , while the house was surrounded.

Lily quickly cast a silencing spell on Harry so that he wouldn’t alert anyone to their listening in, and then cast a spell at her feet so that she wouldn’t make a sound when she moved. She clutched her baby tighter, and then ran up the steps to their bedrooms, where there were two trunks already packed with everything that could be packed, in case they needed to leave quickly.

In a way, she realized that she had made her decision a while ago. She knew that the Order probably couldn’t leave Harry alone. They would kill him, or use him against his father, might even try to brainwash him so that they could control him. She didn’t know what exactly would happen, but she was convinced that it would not be in Harry’s best interests at all.

And she couldn’t let that happen.

A few waves of her wand moved the few toys Harry played with often, as well as his favourite blanket and the few other items that weren’t already packed, into the trunk and closed it.

Only moments later the same had been done in her own room.

When she felt the wards around the property being attacked, she first activated the war wards around the Manor by smearing a bit of her blood on the wall, and then activated the portkey Tom had created for her and Harry to carry. She hoped that the Order would leave the wards alone before anyone got seriously injured but in the end she only cared that Harry and  she were safe. Her little boy able to grow up loved and safe.

It was not her fault that the Order threatened that future, and practically forced her to flee.

oooOOooo

Since the surprising demise of Albus Percival too-many-names Dumbledore, Tom’s plans had gone a lot more smoothly. That the Minister had agreed to outlaw the Order of the Phoenix was an especially big step forward. They were the only real organized opposition Tom and his people had. With them outlawed, all members could be caught and detained. And that, hopefully, would help erode the base of those opposing the necessary changes to how they handled incoming muggle-born witches and wizards, and the worshipping of Magic.

At the moment Tom was listening to Lucius Malfoy, and the others with influence in the Ministry, giving their reports and coordinating their efforts to take advantage of Dumbledore’s death.

“I think that it should be possible to use this situation to get more funding for the Auror Corps. If we manage to point out that the equipment is severely out of date, especially the battle robes, it really shouldn’t be a problem,” Lucius pointed out and turned so he could look at one of the Aurors in their group. “It should also not be too hard to skip over Moody in the next round of promotions. He seems to be getting more unhinged by the day.”

“But we all are still too junior to advance much,” one of the Aurors pointed out. “So it’s likely that one of Dumbledore’s people will get into an influential position. Moody never will be Head Auror, but Scrimgeour is a likely candidate.”

Tom had to agree with that. Moody simply was not politically minded,  and was  too  h ung up in his principles to work together with others well,  n or  would he butter up his superiors. He never would make it to Head Auror.

“Be that as it may,” Lucius waved away that concern, “Moody is the dangerous element here. If we could implicate him as being tied to the Order, that would be beneficial. Everyone speaking highly of him would be cast in a bad light, making room for us to use the distraction for a few necessary changes.”

Before the discussion could go into more detail, or derail completely, forcing Tom to intervene, an elf popped into being next to Tom’s chair at the head of the table.

“Master,” the elf bowed, rubbing its hands against each other nervously. “Guests have arrived.” Then without waiting for an answer, just as he had ordered when he had arranged everything for this possibility, the elf vanished again, its message delivered.

Lily and their son Harry had used the emergency portkey to move themselves over to Tom’s home. What had happened? She hadn’t indicated that she was going to move without being in dire danger. On the other hand the pressure from the Order on her had grown a lot lately.

Tom turned back towards his followers who looked shocked or blank, depending on their ability to hide their feelings, and made a split-second decision.

“Gather your teams and prepare for battle. There might be an opportunity waiting for us. All Aurors prepare to be called into work, we might have an anonymous tip for the Auror office.” Knowing that his orders would be obeyed and not giving any other explanation, Tom stood and strode from the room with billowing robes.

He needed to check on Lily and Harry.

The moment he was behind the wards that separated the public rooms from his private ones at Headquarters, Tom started to dispel the glamours and didn’t spare a glance at Severus when he walked past the open door to the potions laboratory on his way to the place he had set aside for himself for apparation to his home.

He found Lily and Harry in the sitting room they usually sat in when Lily and Harry came to visit. They were sitting on the rug in front of the fireplace. Lily had her arms wrapped around the little boy, and held a book from which she was reading to him. They didn’t seem to be injured and Tom felt a tension loosen he hadn’t been aware of until that very moment. It looked like nothing too bad had happened.

“Lily,” Tom called out her name and when she looked up from the book pausing her reading, Harry looked up too, smiling his brilliant smile up at Tom. “Are you two unharmed?”

Lily gave a short, trembling smile. “We made our escape before they managed to break the wards. I didn’t wait around to find out what exactly they had planned.”

Harry waved from where he sat in Lily’s arms, and snuggled closer to his mother. Tom

waved back.

“Do you have objections if I were to send an anonymous tip to the Auror office?” Tom asked, not going into all the implications and details his question and her answer would entail.

For a moment Lily was silent, her arms tightening around Harry a little, before she blew out her breath in one big audible rush. “I want my baby to be safe. And considering you’re his father… I have no objections to getting the Aurors involved. But please, no open violence around Potter Manor.” Tom understood that subtext just as clearly as Lily had understood his plan.

He nodded. That was a reasonable request. If Death Eaters made an appearance just moments after Lily had fled the property, there would be connections drawn that might put Lily and Harry in danger.

“I’ll be back soon. You’ll be fine here?” Tom just had to ask, even as moving fast was imperative.

“We’ll be fine. Shall we wait with dinner?” It was not even time for lunch. But Tom understood anyway.

“I’m not sure when I’ll be back. So please don’t wait. There are rooms prepared for you and Harry. The elves can show you where those are.” She nodded, looking tired, and turned back to her book and started reading again.

Tom allowed himself another quick look and a silent internal cheer that he now had his son and the boy’s mother safely protected at his own home, before going back towards the apparation room, applying his glamours as he went.

Back at Headquarters Tom found assembled teams of Death Eaters waiting for orders and one Auror already in his uniform waiting as well.

“You,” Tom fixed the Auror with his now red-glamoured eyes, “go to the office and tell the other Aurors that one of your contacts informed you about a bunch of suspect individuals surrounding Potter Manor. They look as if they are attempting to break through the wards. Maybe they’ll be gone before they arrive. Hurry.”

The Auror bowed and ran to fulfil the order he had been given as quickly as possible. Now Tom only needed to come up with something to do with his battle ready Death Eaters.

Severus had told him more about some of the places he had had his meetings with Dumbledore at. With the Order concentrated around, and focused on Potter Manor, those places probably were without protection.

“Team leaders, gather around!” Tom conjured a big table with a map of Britain into the middle of their gathering, marking the spots of all the places Severus had given him with red dots. “These are possible hiding places of the Order. Each team will go to one, take out any Order members they encounter there, and gather materials, information, documents, and whatever else might be of interest before burning the buildings to the ground, where safely possible. Don’t risk big, out-of-control fires. Don’t engage with Ministry personnel, and try to take prisoners.” He looked around and into the faces of all his lieutenants. They seemed confident and sure of their success. “Any questions?”

A chorus of “No, my Lord!” was his answer, and he looked on with satisfaction as they agreed upon their targets and gathered up their teams, vanishing one team after the other. He himself stayed behind, ready to react to any possible calls by one of the teams. Sometimes they needed reinforcement and called for him through the Dark Mark. It didn’t happen often, but he needed to be prepared to react.

“My Lord?” Tom turned to see Severus standing in the doorway leading into the meeting hall from the more private areas of the house.

“Yes, Severus?” Having the man around Headquarters around the clock had it advantages and disadvantages. The potions in the emergency stock never had been this fresh or plentiful. But at the same time, there always was another human around now, which curtailed his experimentations. After all, with one of his subordinates here, he couldn’t really risk trying something new and failing. There always was the potential for embarrassing failures when trying something totally new, and Tom couldn’t risk bringing himself into such a situation where one of his Death Eaters might be able to see.

“Am I needed at the moment, my Lord?” Severus obviously had seen him running through the private area, and back again, and had to wonder what was happening.

“I don’t want you in the field, and you have been exposed to the Order as my spy. If there is no gap in the stock of healing potions, there is nothing you need to brew right this moment. But you can prepare the triage room and set up healing stations. I don’t expect any serious injuries, but we’d better be prepared.” That would keep Severus occupied, even as his question remained unanswered.

“Of course, my Lord.” Severus bowed and vanished again, back through the door. Probably to fetch some of the more versatile healing potions to set up the healing stations as he had been ordered to do.

In the end, Severus only had to tend to one sprained ankle – someone had miscalculated their step – and a case of adverse reaction to some plants that had been growing in thick bushes around one of the places being investigated.

“You did well!” Voldemort had to praise his people after they had raided and emptied out over twelve Order bases. The floor before his throne was covered with various papers that had been found in hidden stashes, and in some cases rubbish bins. “Go home and rest.” He would have a lot to do analysing all the papers they had acquired today.

Tom only stayed until all but Severus had left before quickly packing everything up and moving towards the private rooms to apparate home.

He tossed his heavy dark robes carelessly onto a small bench in the hall on his way towards his office when he spotted that there was a light on in his favourite sitting room.

“Why did you stay up?”

Lily turned from her vigil by the burning fire to look at him where he was moving into the room from the hall. “I couldn’t sleep.” She looked worn out and tired, but her insomnia probably wasn’t caused by too much energy.

“I have sleeping draughts of varying strength at hand. If you want to take one.” He wouldn’t fault her if she didn’t want to take something that would make her sleep. She was in a more or less unknown situation at the moment. Totally at his mercy. Tom wouldn’t be able to sleep either, in her shoes.

“No, thank you. I need to be able to notice when Harry wakes. As nice as the room is, it’s foreign to him and he might be afraid, waking in an unfamiliar place.” Her green eyes looked troubled in the unsteady light of the fireplace. Tom practically could hear her thoughts running in frantic circles.

“Thanks for the compliment.” Maybe distraction would help her calm down.

“Which compliment?” Lily sounded surprised and interested, brighter than before.

It was working.

“That the room is nice. I decorated them myself.” He stepped in completely and sat down on the floor a reasonable distance from Lily. Near enough to be able to converse easily, but far enough away to stay well out of her personal space.

“With spells?” The green eyes had started to crinkle a little in amusement.

“Not completely.” He had used brushes and actual paint for part of it, after all.

Lily snorted and then dissolved into giggles, falling to her side leaving Tom sitting there feeling helpless.

That didn’t really seem like a good reaction. Not that Tom felt he was a good judge of healthy reactions to tense situations.

So he waited until Lily got herself under control again.

“Sorry,” she rubbed her hands over her face to clear away the tears, and propped herself up again, “but somehow my mind conjured up a picture of Voldemort sprinkled with paint, a hat made from newspaper on his head… and well... Sorry.”

Tom had to blink at that explanation. “Well… I have no idea what to say to that. But I assure you I was painting just as you see me here. I never come here with the glamours up, and the idea of doing something so menial like painting a room in that getup…” Tom snorted and shook his head. That image was going to follow him for a long, long time. “But thanks for that image.”

Lily snorted again. “You’re welcome.” And suddenly the solemn mood was back again.

Tom sighed. “The Order fled the moment Aurors arrived at Potter Manor. But a few were recognized, as far as I know. I’m not sure yet what will follow. You probably could file a complaint with the Auror department. As promised, no violence was brought near Potter Manor. But I used the opportunity to act on some intelligence I have been sitting on for a while. And now I have to look through the papers that were gathered at several known or suspected Order meeting points and safe houses.” It was unusual for him to share such information so freely. Under normal circumstances there was no reason to give anyone more information than was strictly necessary, but these were anything but normal circumstances.

The look Lily gave him spoke of many things. Too many to reliably identify them.

Then she yawned. “I think I’ll try to get some sleep. Can’t really go without sleep when looking after a toddler the whole day.”

Tom stayed seated while Lily rose from the rug. “The elves will be happy to help. And I’m willing to contribute, if you’ll let me. If all goes well, the Order will not be a problem much longer. And until you feel safe returning to Potter Manor, you’re welcome to stay here. You can create a mailbox with one of the post offices for one of the elves to collect if you want to continue your business.” Tom berated himself for planning for Lily without being asked for input. He didn’t want to appear domineering. He wanted to be helpful.

He wasn’t good in situations like this.

“I’ll have to think on it. But I would like to continue filling my orders, and work on my translation, so thanks for the suggestion with the letter box at a post office. I think I’ll go to bed now. Good night.” She looked tired and stressed, but also determined.

Tom nodded. “Good night and pleasant dreams.”

He sat there for several minutes after she had left, wondering how his life would change now that his son and the boy’s mother were living with him.

With a sigh he got up from the floor and made his way over to his study. He had a lot of papers to sort through. Maybe some of it would help in finding the rest of the Order, clearing the way to really start on all the changes they needed to make to ensure they wouldn’t lose magic as the High Elves had in their arrogance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have caught on with publishing to this point on ffnet. Work is hectic at the moment and I have not much energy to write. So the next chapter will take a little to come out.
> 
> First published on AO3 11th of May 2020  
> Published on ffnet 30th of May 2020
> 
> last edited 30th of May 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	13. Chapter 16 - Reversed Roles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are safe wherever you are. Have a little distraction from everything that’s going on in the world right now.

Yesterday Lily had finally given in and changed the colour of the walls in their living space to something a little less bland than Tom had spelled it before. With what was going on outside the walls of Beck Cottage, she had come to the reluctant conclusion that she and Harry would stay here for the time being.

How the world had changed.

“Ma!” Harry demanded her attention from his playpen near one of the charmed windows, waving the stuffed snake Tom had given to him a week into their stay with him.

“Yes, darling,” she said, smiling at the now pale lavender walls, before getting up from the nice, comfortable armchair she used most to read in, and walking over to her little boy. “You do like your snake, don’t you?”

With an enthusiastic arm motion said snake was smacked, a little uncoordinatedly, into the rail surrounding the playpen. “Nake!” Harry agreed, waving the poor toy around some more, making Lily laugh.

Amidst all the uncertainty, the fact that Harry seemed to do so well was a bright ray of sunshine.

“Come, darling, let’s get you changed and put on some new clothes. Tom has agreed to look after you for a few hours while I go out organizing a few things.” Harry stood up easily enough, dropping the snake, and holding his arms out to be picked up.

It was a quick walk over to Harry’s room, still making Lily smile with its midst-of-the-woods look. It was soothing and fun. Just what they both needed.

While she went through the motions of changing Harry, Lily’s thoughts once again went over everything, evaluating her decisions and plans. Yet again.

All their clothes and things were now in the cupboards and drawers in their rooms. Lily had even placed James’ letter from the vault inside the drawer of her bedside table. She had sat there, letter in hand, for minutes before deciding not to open it just yet.

The rooms she used she had spelled into other colours and now she was going out today to set up a post box, just as Tom had suggested.

They were staying.

For now at least.

The Order was now officially the bad guys, and, sadly enough, what was to be read in the Prophet indicated that they might be living up to that image.

Not that Lily was particularly inclined to believe what the Prophet wrote. Too often they behaved like a flag waving in the wind, printing whatever seemed likely to get the most attention.

Not that she had been in contact with anyone from the Order to get their perspective. They hadn’t even tried to send her a letter since she had been forced to flee from Potter Manor.

With a sigh Lily picked up her little wonder baby and made her way through their living room, picking up Harry’s supply satchel, and to the small parlour Tom used most often.

“Ready to head out?” Tom asked, taking Harry into his arms when Lily came close enough and the little boy stretched his arms over in a clear declaration of his wish to be held by Tom. This fairly recent development still filled Lily’s heart with both joy and confused pain.

“Yes. I’ll be quick.” Lily placed the satchel onto one of the armchairs before turning back with a fond smile to look at Tom rocking Harry in his arms, smiling as well. “Only a quick trip to the post office in Diagon Alley, setting up a post box, a small trip to the office of the Prophet to post an advert, and I’ll be back.”

“You’re worried that I can’t handle Harry here for a few hours? I’m sure we’ll be fine. I can change nappies, am proficient in child-proofing charms, and think I’ll manage to entertain him for a while.” Tom seemed utterly convinced of his claims. Lily wasn’t so sure.

“I guess we’ll never know if I don’t give you an opportunity to try it.” She leant forward to give Harry a little kiss without thinking about it, and then blushed when she realized how close she had come to Tom because of that. “Be good, Harry. No throwing of objects.” Harry giggled, and then leant into Tom who was still holding the toddler.

“We’ll be fine.” Tom tried to reassure her, and she took one deliberate deep breath to calm herself. It was hard leaving her baby behind, but she couldn’t risk taking him with her. This morning’s Daily Prophet had reported a raid at the junction of Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley. The newspaper also had claimed that the Order of the Phoenix had attacked a used book shop, so Lily wasn’t sure how accurate the report was. But she was willing to follow the old adage of better safe than sorry where her little boy was concerned.

“I’ll see you later then.” It was almost physically painful to leave the house and therefore Harry. It had been a long time she last had not been near her little boy. And it never had been easy to leave him with Alice or Augusta, or any of her other friends.

She accepted her warm cloak, mitts, and hat from one of the elves, checked that she had her money, the portkey back, and the text for her advert, before she apparated to the small yard behind the Leaky Cauldron from where she made her way to the post office.

There weren’t many people out and about, so her way to the office was an easy one. It also meant that she didn’t need to wait that long to get her post box established. With the address of that box filled in to her advertisement text, Lily left the post office and walked briskly in the direction of the building housing the Daily Prophet, as well as a few other stores.

When she passed by a small side street, or more like the access path to the back entrances and yards behind the storefronts, she heard a soft bark and only stopped to look when it was followed up by a piteous whine and more barks.

She couldn’t very well ignore an animal that was hurt.

When she finally saw the animal after passing through the light concealment charms usually placed over those entrances to keep people from seeing them without actually looking for them Lily rolled her eyes and turned to leave again.

“No! Lily! Please stay!” Sirius called out before she had managed to walk back out to the Alley proper. Why was he even here?

“Why, Sirius? The last time I saw you, you had brought an attack team to my wards.” She had not been prepared to face him right now. But it was unlikely that she would get out of this without a few loud words exchanged between them.

“And you ran! How do you think I felt? I was vouching for you!” Sirius looked a little worse for wear. As if he hadn’t slept in some time.

“Why did you even have to vouch for me? It’s not as if I did anything illegal, Sirius!” And she hadn’t. Some morally questionable things, maybe. But nothing illegal.

“One of Moody’s contacts in Knockturn Alley had seen you leave a used bookshop everyone knows sells dark books.” Sirius stated that with such a serious face and tone of voice that Lily thought for a moment that she was dreaming.

But she wasn’t.

Slowly blinking, Lily tried to wrap her mind around that statement and all it implied. Just the possibility that she might have bought a book on a topic called dark was enough to send an assault team to her door. If that was true, what would Moody be willing to do should he learn about Harry?

“So you say, the word of one individual claiming I had left a used book store is enough to bring the whole Order to the edge of my wards?” Lily felt her temper rising, one hand curling into a fist by her side. “Why not ask me first?”

“But that was what we came to do! But then you activated the war wards and ran! Where are you even staying now? No one has heard from you in ages! We’re worried!” Sirius was flailing his hands around, almost throwing his accusation at her.

“What do you think it would look like? Two people at my door, Alice sounding out of it, and you forcefully cheerful? For all I knew, someone had taken Neville hostage and was pressuring you to get me to come out. After being attacked at my home once, I wasn’t prepared to take any chances.” She was curious how he was going to justify their actions now. Not that she was surprised that he hadn’t thought of that aspect before. He never had been the most empathetic of James’ friends.

Sirius stopped in his tracks and blinked, before shaking his head – he looked so much like his animagus form shaking water from his coat when he did that – and seemingly refocusing on the most important point. “So were you there?”

“Was I where, when?” Lily frowned. Sirius’ tendency to jump between topics confused her from time to time.

“Were you in that bookshop?” Sirius took a step forward trying to loom over her.

Lily straightened her spine. She would not cower. She hadn’t done it when Voldemort had stood before her, wand raised, she wouldn’t do it now. In a shaded back alley, empty crates stacked in one corner, a rat running along one wall. “I was in a used bookshop in that part of the city. Not sure if it was on the day that source claimed I was there. But yes.” That wasn’t illegal and she would be damned if she would start lying now. She was rather sick of it and all the wizards’ opinions on where a good little witch was allowed to go.

“Why would you go there!?” Sirius exclaimed, radiating frustration. “Flourish and Blotts is a very fine bookshop, and if they don’t have something, they’re more than willing to order it for you! I’m not sure I know you anymore, Lily!”

“Out-of-print books about Runes and Charms aren’t available from Flourish and Blotts, Sirius.” Lily worked hard to reel in her temper. She really couldn’t afford to lose control of the situation. “You might remember that I had planned to go for a Charms Mastery? And that I’m working independently in Enchantment? Searching for manuscripts, journals, and old books helps to find inspiration and… but you never thought my ambition in Charms was worth anything anyway, am I right?” Now her own voice filled with frustration. Sirius might have understood her need to distance herself from Petunia more than James had, but while he understood the need for distance from family, he never did understand the need for meaningful work.

Sirius waved his hand across the space between them, switching topics again “Whatever. I want to visit you, see my godson. Where are you even staying? It’s not with someone in the Order or someone close to any of them. If it were, I would know. So where are you staying?”

Lily sighed, relaxing her hand and rubbing across her forehead. She was getting whiplash from all those fast changes in topic.

“I’m staying with someone whom I trust with Harry’s safety without any room for doubt. And that’s all I’m going to tell you.” She held up her hand to forestall the question she saw forming in his eyes. “You won’t approve of anyone not connected to the Order. And after the stunt you all pulled on me, I won’t feel safe anywhere that the Order can go in and out without alerting me.”

Now it was her time to change the topic, because she didn’t want to linger on the current one for fear of telling more than she wanted to. “As for meeting Harry, you do know that you’re part of an outlawed organisation now? I’m following the news, Sirius, and public opinion is swaying against you and the Order. Being seen with any member might endanger me or Harry, maybe both. I can’t risk that.” Why was he here? He certainly hadn’t been lying in wait in Diagon Alley just on the off chance that she might walk past his hiding spot. “Why are you here anyway?”

Suddenly Sirius looked cagey. Just as he had several times during their school days when Lily had been prefect and asked them what they were going to do when they left the tower near curfew. Lily narrowed her eyes.

“Well you know, I was… enjoying the weather…” it had been drizzling on and off the whole day, Lily felt her eyebrow raise towards the brim of her hat. “...people watching, mostly.”

“Sure…” Lily drew that one word out, making it heavy with her doubt.

And then a scream followed by the world exploding. People screamed, it smelled like burning wood and spells – like ozone – and Lily let herself fall into a crouch near the ground, her wand in her hand, eyes searching for a place to take cover and where the danger was.

As Sirius was sprinting out onto the street, wand out, Lily realized that he had been on lookout. Probably one of several waiting for a specific person or group to appear. Unsure what she should do, Lily sat there for a moment, deliberating.

Should she help the Order?

Maybe help defend people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or even defend whoever was being attacked?

In the end she decided to leave and needed to walk into the warren of back alleys and courtyards to get out from under some anti-apparation and anti-portkey wards before she could use her portkey back to Beck Cottage.

oooOOooo

Tom was having a wonderful afternoon. Harry was in a good mood, and the two of them were playing with blocks. The little boy’s laughter was infectious every time he brought the blocks tumbling down from one of the towers Tom had built.

In general Tom felt that he could congratulate himself. Lily was, if not exactly comfortable, then at least not averse to leaving Harry in his care. And seeing as she had done a lot to keep her baby safe, Tom felt that her trust in him to do the same was at least not a bad sign.

Nagini was napping in front of the fireplace, inside some wards Tom had erected so that Harry wouldn’t be able to get himself into danger. A toddler could be amazingly fast.

Childproofing his home had been an interesting challenge. While setting up wards around his bookshelves and the door to the potions laboratory he had wondered how people managed without magic.

Because he knew they did, they would be long gone otherwise, but it felt almost impossible for him who had magic at hand. Everything was a possible death trap for a child that small.

But watching wooden blocks gently floating to the floor when they came too close to striking Harry was kind of soothing. Accidental magic was known to protect the child in question. Probably one of the reasons why magical children growing up in Muggle homes got shamed if not living in ideal conditions. During his own childhood, corporal punishment had been a staple of good child rearing, after all.

They had switched from tower-collapsing to playing with the figurines of winged horses when a certain smell reached Tom’s nose. “I guess here’s someone who needs new nappies. What do you think, Harry, do we want to go change you and then go into the kitchen to have a small snack?”

Harry agreed readily enough, letting himself be picked up, talking, or babbling rather, the whole time. They had settled in the kitchen, Tom with a cup of tea and a cucumber sandwich and Harry with a plate filled with apple slices, when he felt someone calling through the Dark Mark for him.

It was an urgent call, but Tom couldn’t leave now.

His mind started racing, his hand holding the sandwich frozen in the air halfway to his mouth.

Sure there were the elves who were perfectly capable of looking after Harry for a while. But Lily had placed their son in his care, it wouldn’t do to go against her wishes if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.

He also couldn’t take Harry with him. For one, he had no idea where he was being called to, a design flaw of epic proportions, and then there was the question of how he should explain why he, Lord Voldemort, had a toddler in tow. And while small children tended to look a lot alike, that hair Harry was sporting would be easily connected to Harry Potter, who had been pictured rather regularly in the press.

Not being able to leave Harry behind, nor to bring him with him, Tom was unable to act.

But… Severus was still staying in the more private part of Headquarters. Would Lily be fine with her friend looking after her son? But would she be happy with Severus knowing that his Lord, the Dark Lord, was trusted with looking after her son?

He shouldn’t do that without talking to her first.

Another urgent call reached him while he was contemplating the use of some obscuring charms to make it impossible for Severus to identify the child. He couldn’t just leave his people calling for help to fend on their own, but he couldn’t just leave his son alone either. It was frustrating beyond belief.

Looking at Harry and how he had somehow managed to smear half chewed apple onto his brow, waving a slice of nibbled apple in Tom’s direction, Tom knew that, when it came down to it, he would chose that little boy’s wellbeing over everything else.

Which was quite frightening, to be honest.

Before he could break the indecision that had frozen him to his seat, the door to the kitchen opened and Lily walked in, angrily getting rid of her mittens, hat, and cloak. “Get ambushed by Sirius, and then a fight breaks out! Why can’t I get out without a fight happening?” Well there he had the probable reason for the urgent call that just now came in again.

“I’m not sure why it seems to happen so often. But now that you’re here I need to go out. I’m sorry, but I’m needed elsewhere.” He saw her nod, a little surprised, her eyes wide, before he almost ran out of the kitchen, his wand in hand, already casting his glamours. They would need to speak, but he had other things to do first.

It was rather late when Tom finally came back home. Before he searched for Lily he went into his room and got rid of his Dark Lord robes and glamour. He was so very tired. But he and Lily needed to talk so he wouldn’t get into the same situation again. And while they were on that topic, they might also find a way for Lily to get a bit more freedom of movement back.

When Tom stepped into the living room they used most of the time, Lily was sitting in an armchair, her muggle binder she used to organize the parchments and notes for the translation project on her lap. She looked up from her work when he let himself sink into the other armchair, heaving a deep sigh. This day had derailed into catastrophe rather drastically after the nice start.

For a moment there was silence while Lily was examining him. He gave a snort. “I’m uninjured. In fact I didn't even leave Headquarters. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not tired and stressed out anyway.” He watched as Lily slipped her wand back into the sheath on her arm, closed the binder to place it on the floor and settled in for a long discussion.

She really was exceptionally observant at times.

“Do you know what that fight was about?”

Tom nodded, and settled into his armchair a little more. “By all the reports I have received, the Order of the Phoenix had laid an ambush in Diagon Alley today. They attacked without warning and started out with lethal curses from the start. One person was killed and several injured. The Order did flee before Aurors could arrive. It was over rather fast. Hence why I didn’t leave Headquarters once I had finished getting ready.” He sighed, once again employing Occlumency to keep his racing thoughts of guilt for taking so long under control.

“How did you know it was going on? Because you did, didn’t you? Why else were you in a hurry when I came back?” Well, He hadn’t really thought that he would be able to keep all of what he did day to day from her, now that she was living in his home. Might as well answer honestly.

“There is a way for my people to get my attention rather quickly. Much quicker than via owl or some such. I had gotten several calls before you came back and was trying to decide what to do. I couldn’t very well leave Harry alone.”

“Like a distress signal?” Lily interrupted again, then visibly reined herself in. Biting her lip.

“Yes, exactly like that. With the same limitations as with those flares the military sometimes uses. And people at sea.” He paused reconsidering. “Or even heavier limitations. I don’t really get the information on where the signal comes from, or on who is calling. I can use it to apparate to the spot, but… well. I regret some decisions I made when I came up with this system. But I digress.” He took a deep breath and had to half smile seeing Lily restraining herself from asking the questions she obviously had. “I won’t promise that I’ll answer all your questions, but I’m not going to vanish, so you can ask all those question I see swirling around behind your eyes at a later point. But now I think we need to talk about something else.”

Now Lily heaved a sigh. “That a person died today because you had Harry and couldn't leave to help? I guess I’ll have to stay here then.” She looked resigned and disheartened and Tom was speechless for a moment.

He shook his head, because that hadn’t been what he wanted to say, and it hadn’t been either of their fault. “First, the attack started out with lethal curses. Everyone agreed that the first person targeted was dead on the spot. It’s not yet confirmed, but it is suspected that it might have been a killing curse. No one could have changed what happened but the one casting that spell.” Lily gasped, and held her hand in front of her mouth, clearly shocked. Tom didn’t pause for long, but asked, ”And why would you need to stay here? What we need is more people to care for Harry, and an agreement who those people are, and maybe an explanation for those people when either of us brings Harry to them in an emergency.” Tom wasn’t really sure who, beside the elves and Severus, he knew and trusted enough to look after his son. But if he had a little more time, he might come up with more people.

Lily let her head drop until her face was buried in her hands. Then she sat back up straight, and tucked her legs up into the chair. “Is it bad when someone who is called a Dark Lord shows more common decency than those that claim they fight for the good?”

Tom blinked. Then he tilted his head “I have no idea.” Was this about her assumption he would make her stay here? “Is this about you feeling you can’t go out? Why would I make you stay inside? You’re no prisoner. And I don’t think such a move would make you more inclined to want to stay and let me be a part of Harry’s life at all.” He looked at her, daring her to disagree.

For a moment they both looked at each other, then Lily shook her head, placed her feet back on the rug, and placed her elbows on her knees, leaning forward. “Alright. What’s your proposal?”

Tom noticed that the tension in the room had gone down a lot and wondered what exactly the members of the Order had done to make Lily react like this to the situation. It was nothing good, he was sure.

But back to the topic at hand. “I think Severus might be a good candidate as a babysitter. He’s over at Headquarters and stuck there for the time being, so he’s easily reachable. I trust him, and I think you do too.”

“But can he handle a toddler? I have no idea if Severus has ever even interacted with a little child.” She looked sceptical but Tom was happy that she hadn’t refused his idea out of hand.

“He’s a bright man, he can learn,” Tom waved that concern away. “The more interesting question is how we want or even can explain how you can go into Headquarters, or why I have your child in my care.”

“Ugh.” Lily made a face. “I have no idea how he’ll react to that or where even to start in an attempt to explain.”

They fell silent, and both mulled that problem over in their heads.

It really was a problem. How would Severus react? What could they even tell the man? Would the young Potions Master even believe them when he was told? Without them needing to give some kind of proof?

“Who died?” Lily suddenly asked, drawing Tom’s attention back to her.

Why would she ask that now? “Theophania Nott,” Tom answered, watching her face intently. Could it be?

Lily sighed and made a grimace. “She has... had a little boy Harry’s age. Didn’t she?”

Tom nodded. “Yes. Theodore. He’ll be in the same year as Harry, when they both go to Hogwarts.”

Lily closed her eyes and all tension left her as she let herself fall backwards into the armchair. “You’re winning. Aren’t you?”

Tom had seen the possibilities, of course. Lucius was even now subtly working to stir up resentment against Minister Bagnold, aiming to get her out of office so that one of Tom’s, maybe even Lucius himself, could be elected into that position. But he hadn’t been quite that sure of the outcome yet. “It’s a possibility. But not yet a certainty.”

The look she threw him for that spoke clearly of what she thought of his caution. “So do we simply tell Severus the truth, put some Wiggenweld potion into him, and then let him look after Harry for an afternoon so we both can read a good book?”

The sarcasm was so thick that he could have used it as a bridge over a rapid river. But the image she had conjured made Tom snort. “Can you imagine his face? How he longs to pinch the bridge of his nose but refrains?” Tom chuckled. “But I guess your approach might actually kill the poor man.”

Lily clearly tried not to smile, and rolled her eyes. “What do you think we should do? I’m not halfway finished with even transcribing all those documents, and have only identified the most promising documents a week ago. The pieces I have translated are mostly tax records!” She threw her hands in the air, and Tom realized that Lily was assessing the political situation and where to place herself. Her research into the validity of his cause clearly still played a role in her plans, but was obviously not the most important factor.

“I’m willing to reveal my connection to Harry to Severus Snape, if that is your question.” Tom made his stance clear. Otherwise they might be talking in circles, trying to respect the other’s right to privacy, the whole night.

“You know that we would have to explain how we met if we go that way. He will come up with the most ridiculous ideas otherwise,” Lily demanded, her eyes sparking.

“I realize that,” Tom answered. “Do you think it would be easier if you speak with him? I guess he’ll have an easier time if he can react freely. I don’t think he’ll dare if I’m there.”

They started to plan how they would go about revealing to Severus that they had had a child together. They also agreed on what level of detail they were comfortable with sharing.

When Lily finally left to go to bed, Tom stayed up in the parlour marvelling how the Order’s descent into terrorist tactics would help him attain two different goals: gaining a better position in his quest to secure magic for them, and opening up the possibility to officially be a part of his son’s life.

He would have to thank Moody, if he was caught alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First published 5th of June 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	14. Chapter 17 - Moving On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The much-wished-for chapter with Severus getting told not everything, but a lot. I‘m a little bit nervous about it. Hope you’ll like it.

“Stop fretting, Tom,” Lily said, not for the first time this morning, picking up the Daily Prophet while Tom was cleaning up the spilled remains of Harry’s breakfast.

Tom sighed, placed his wand next to his plate, on the side farthest from Harry, and rubbed his fingers over his closed eyes. “You are of course correct. There is no reason to be anxious. And we did agree that we need another adult in the know to be better able to care for our son. Still. This is certainly new territory to me.” He gave her a sheepish smile, then made a face before turning back to Harry, who was banging his flat hand onto the table in an attempt to get Tom’s attention.

Lily nodded. She could understand that it had to be strange for Tom to reveal as much to one of his followers as was going to be revealed today. _Probably_ revealed, to be more accurate. They had discussed what they both were comfortable admitting to in front of Severus, but it was up to Lily to decide how far she could go and if Severus was the right choice.

“Ugh…” Tom made a face again, and bent slightly closer to Harry, which gave the little boy the opportunity to take a firm grip on Tom’s hair. “I think there is someone in need of changing.” It was astonishing how well Tom had been, and still was, adjusting to taking care of Harry. Even though Lily still wasn’t sure about a lot of things, one thing was more than clear by now. Tom was more than invested in being the best father he could be for Harry. Lily was pretty sure Tom would stop at nothing, which honestly was a bit frightening.

After all, this man had started a terrorist organisation in an attempt at revolution. He had killed and tortured... and probably had done a lot of things Lily knew nothing about.

Life had been easier when she still had been able to see only the monster in him.

Meanwhile Tom had managed to free his hair from Harry’s grip and had picked the toddler up. “We’ll be back in a moment. Wave to your mother, Harry.” Harry giggled and waved at Lily from Tom’s arm, where he was comfortably seated on the man’s hip.

Lily waved back. Her life was so very strange at the moment.

She sighed and opened up the newspaper to read how the whole situation outside the shelter of Beck Cottage was developing. And there on the front page was the announcement she had been waiting for since the day the Order had attacked Lord Nott and his wife in Diagon Alley.

Minister Bagnold was resigning, leaving the office of Minister of Magic because the public and the Wizengamot had called for her to take responsibility for the inability of the Ministry to disband a vigilante group. And the Prophet was talking about the Order of the Phoenix here.

There hadn’t been any mentions of Death Eaters or Voldemort in a long while, everyone concentrating on the Order of the Phoenix and the so-called single rogue wizards and witches who were labelled as criminals acting on their own.

And as far as Lily was aware, that might even be the case. Tom had been concentrating on stirring public opinion up to align with his needs. Or that was what Lily had gathered from what he was doing most of the time. Not that she was involved in any way. But when he came back after a day away complaining about back pains from sitting too long, it was unlikely that he had been out fighting.

Lily flipped through the newspaper without reading much more than the headlines. It was the usual drivel of the day-in, day-out bickering of the different Ministry Departments, sports news, gossip about Quidditch players and other people of note, as well as news of foreign affairs.

“And here we are again!” Tom came back in, carrying Harry on his shoulders, valiantly ignoring the tight grip Harry had on his hair. “When will Severus be here?”

Harry was quickly placed on the floor where he crawled over to the blanket and his toys, and Tom sat down in his chair to flick his hand at his teacup to reheat his drink.

“You made the portkey, Tom. So you know that Severus will arrive around noon.” Lily felt like rolling her eyes.

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose, emptied the tea cup with one big swallow and sighed. “I think I’ll go fly for an hour. I’m sorry for being so irritating. I’ll be back well before our guest arrives.”

Tom moved over to the window, opened it, and transformed just to take to wing right away. Shaking her head, Lily got up from her chair to close the window.

“Bird!” Harry called reaching for the window and probably Tom.

“No worries, Harry. Mr. Magpie just needs a little bit of fresh air. He’ll be back soon.”

Harry seemed to think on that for a moment before he picked up his favourite dragon toy and demanded. “P’ay!”

“Yes. Let’s play for a while,” Lily agreed and sat down next to Harry, taking the little unicorn figure that Harry passed to her. “Thank you, darling.”

ooOoo

Lily was waiting in the room with the Floo for Severus to arrive. Tom had set the portkey to deposit its passenger right there, as he had done for her protkey. Therefore she was waiting here for her friend.

They hadn't seen each other in too long and hadn’t really written, either. With both of them hiding away from the public, it hadn’t been easy to communicate. That they had been keeping big secrets from each other – or if Lily was honest, she had been the only one keeping a big secret – had only increased the difficulty.

With a swirl of colours Severus appeared on the rug in front of the fireplace, neatly dressed in robes in his favourite colour. Black.

“Hi there,” Lily greeted and Severus turned to look at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“Hi, Lily. I’m so glad to see you.” Severus gave a slight _uff_ sound when Lily wrapped her arms around him, surprising him with a hug.

“I missed you.” And had she missed him. Tom did his best, and she had Harry, but all of the people she had had the most contact with since leaving Hogwarts were people now in the Order, and therefore no longer safe to meet. She had been so lonely.

Severus patted her back awkwardly, and stepped back quickly once Lily let him go.

“Come, let's settle down in the parlour,” Lily said, walking slowly through the door to lead the way. They passed a few display cabinets with stuff Tom had gathered and which made Lily smile each and every time she went by. They mostly were antiques – jewellery, cosmetic jars, pottery and the like – but one held nothing but pretty stones. Not jewels or anything equally precious, no, simply stones as could be found on riverbanks or at the seashore. But they were pretty in an odd way.

And in front of that one Severus stopped. When Lily turned to see why he wasn’t following her anymore, he asked straight out. “Where are we, Lily? And why are there stones in here?” He waved a hand at the cabinet in question, clearly not impressed.

Lily grinned, it was so funny that Tom was collecting the stuff he was. “This is the home of… I guess I have to call him an ally of sorts. He likes to collect the shiny and unique. And while I feel like teasing him from time to time over those stones, they are quite interesting if you look closely.” She especially liked one perfectly smooth light grey stone that had one perfectly white line going all around it.

One of Severus’ brows rose. He clearly was sceptical, but he followed her into the parlour that the inhabitants of Beck Cottage used most, crossing the section of the hallway that held the altar Tom had set up for worshipping Magic. Severus slowed down for a moment while they passed it but didn’t comment. Which made Lily glad. She didn’t know what she should think about the table with the wool cloth, the vase with fresh greens – some early blooming flowers at the moment – the constantly burning candles, a cup and a plate with daily changing content and all the other things she didn’t recognize or know the meaning of. It was a foreign world to her.

They settled into an armchair and on one of the settees around the small table that already had a few refreshments and a tea set placed there.

“How are you doing, Severus?” Lily asked, pouring them each a cup of tea, adding milk and sugar to their respective tastes.

“Relatively well, I would say,” was his answer when he accepted his cup from Lily with a small nod of his head.

Lily had to concede he did look better. Not as thin as he had been the last time they had managed to meet in person, back at Potter Manor, but still pale. “Still not getting much sun though?”

“You know perfectly well that I rather burn than tan, Lily. Much like you. And no, I don't get a lot of sun. Where I’m staying I’m not exactly free to go where I like.” Severus sipped at his tea and then picked up one of the small cucumber sandwiches.

“Well, yes. But at least I go outside with Harry almost every day for a while. Not usually far from this house, but you probably never get out of the laboratory. Am I right?” Lily smirked and outright laughed when Severus rolled his eyes at her, swallowing the bite of sandwich.

“Very funny. Where is your little hellion anyway?” Severus asked with another of his raised brows.

“My… ally is looking after Harry. How else should we have time to actually talk with each other? You know my little _hellion_ has a way of claiming all attention for himself.” And wasn’t it strange, if accurate, naming Tom, who was Voldemort – as she tried to keep reminding herself – as her ally?

Severus sobered quickly. “I guess that I have to believe that you’re safe here. After all, the Order hasn’t found you yet. And by all appearances, the Dark Lord still is trying to get you onto his side, or…?” Severus waited for her to answer the unfinished question.

Lily took a sip from her tea and then set it down with a sigh. She had known she would have to speak about this. After all, Severus hadn’t received any more orders in regards to his role as envoy. Now that Lily was living with Tom, there hardly was a need for another to act in his stead so that Lily and he could communicate. “He’s still trying to convince me. Currently mostly waiting for me to finish my own translation of those manuscripts, and occasionally answering questions I have. But really, that wasn’t what I wanted to discuss with you the most, Severus. I wanted to ask you if you know a potion to counteract another.” She really didn’t want to start the discussion from the end Severus had unknowingly started at because she felt it was likely she wouldn’t get the answer to one question that had been on her mind for a while now.

She had taken a potion to give Harry the appearance of being James’ son, she now wondered if it was possible to reverse that effect so that he would look more like his actual father, as it looked like the world would be safer for her baby if he didn’t look like one that surely would be painted as a villain once the conflict was decided.

“I know many potions and their counteragents. Can you be a little more specific?” Lily saw clearly that Severus was doing her a favour accepting the change of topic without question, but she had also known that a potions question would be a tempting topic to discuss.

“I don’t know of any name, but it’s taken by an expecting witch with the result of letting the child look like the father is a different one than the actual biological one, once it is born.” Lily felt herself flush, still unhappy with herself and her decision to have a one night stand while married. She couldn’t be unhappy about having Harry, and she still felt that James had violated her trust in him and harmed their marriage first with his actions, but being unfaithful was petty revenge and she knew it.

Severus seemed surprised and leaned forward in his seat, elbows coming to rest on his knees. “You mentioned that Potter was infertile. And that you had a one-night stand,” Severus stated, nodding, much too casually for Lily’s taste. “And you want to have your son look less like Potter? Who did you ask to be the donor? Please tell me it wasn’t Black?” At the end there Severus sounded pleading but Lily couldn’t really process that.

“What? Donor? What are you talking about?” She remembered that she had told him about her one-night stand. But what was that talk about a donor?

Severus blinked slowly. “Well, why else would you take the potion, if not to make sure no one would know that Potter wasn’t able to father children? It’s a long-held tradition. As is asking a trusted person to be the donor instead of the husband. But I gather you didn’t know that?” Now Severus smirked. “Did you have an affair?”

When she blushed even harder, Severus laughed.

Lily picked up a pillow, waving it at Severus as if she were going to throw it, which made him muffle his laughter and hold up his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll try not to laugh.”

“See that you do!” Lily huffed, stuffing the pillow back behind herself. “So, I gather that feeding young married witches fertility potions without their knowledge isn’t the only offensive tradition? Passing around said young witches if the husband has a problem belongs to those as well? What will I discover next? Slave trade?”

Later Lily would think back and realize that she probably had looked pretty frightening in that moment, as Severus straightened and lost all hints of mirth pretty quickly. “Newly married couples striving for children right away, even with the use of fertility potions, is common. It’s easier to have children early and, as wizards and witches get quite old, having a career later in life is still a possibility. Feeding them to someone without their knowledge isn’t something that is a tradition per se. Not that I’ll claim that it doesn’t happen more often than it should.” Severus shrugged. Lily huffed and picked up a little apple pastry, biting into it with force instead of spewing out all the words that came to mind.

“Do you think it would be safe for your son to no longer look like Potter? I would guess that Black and his other friends wouldn’t look too kindly on you for an affair.” Of course Severus would draw the obvious conclusion and point out the painful points without really realising what he was saying. “And if you’re not in contact with the boy’s biological father, you would be truly on your own… unless this is the man’s home?”

Lily took a deep breath and checked her still shaky Occlumency shields, she needed to keep her cool during this conversation. “It is indeed his home. We ran into each other rather by accident.” And wasn’t that irony, she still had trouble believing that chain of events herself. “He offered me a safe place to stay should I ever need it. And because Moody got overly suspicious… that bastard sent an assault team to the edge of the wards around Potter Manor! I took the offer. And now I’m here.”

When Severus suddenly lost even the last bit of colour he had, Lily half rose from her seat. He spoke almost too silently to be heard, eyes looking into the empty space over Lily’s shoulder. “The boy’s father worships Magic. The Dark Lord’s sudden interest… Why he insisted you had to learn Occlumency…” Severus looked around frantically, as if searching for a way to escape. His hands closed around the armrests of the armchair he was sitting in, and he pushed himself half out of his seat. “This is the Dark Lord’s home?!” Then his dark eyes came to rest on Lily and all tension suddenly left him. He fell back into the armchair he had been sitting in. “How… how?” He seemed unable to even form the question. His voice filled with anxious confusion.

Lily closed her eyes and took a deep fortifying breath. Here goes nothing. “How did this even happen? Would you believe me if I told you we met in a small muggle pub in Wales?” Not waiting for an answer Lily told her about the evening she learned that James had the elves dosing her with fertility potions.

It was obvious from the look on his face that Severus had considerable trouble believing that small tale. Lily didn’t go into all the details. It wasn’t necessary, and Severus didn’t express any interest anyway. But by the end of her explanation, they came back to her initial question.

Was there a way to reverse the potion’s effect on Harry’s looks?

“If you can get me the source from where you took the information for the potion, I certainly can investigate. Not that I have heard of any potions reversing the effect. But that’s hardly surprising, as the effect certainly was meant to be permanent in the instances it usually is used.” Severus took another sip from his fresh cup of tea, his hands trembling slightly.

Before Lily could answer Severus with a promise of locating the book in question, the door opened and in came Tom, carrying a fussing Harry.

Severus was on his feet and then down on his knees in an instant, murmuring a greeting of, “My Lord.”

Lily felt her jaw fall open. What a strange sight that her proud friend was willing to lower himself onto his knees for anyone. She had known, of course. But seeing it happen was another thing entirely.

Harry called out “‘rus!” pointing at the kneeling man, drawing Tom’s attention more effectively than Severus’ greeting had managed.

“Yes, that’s Severus, your mama's friend.” Tom sounded decidedly amused. “Get up from the floor and sit down again, Severus. I don’t think Lily wants your tea to be interrupted. And thanks for distracting Harry.” Tom took the last few steps from the door into the room and over to Lily, handing over a squirming Harry. “I’m still constantly amazed over the quick mood changes of toddlers.” Lily stood and accepted her little boy and threw Tom a questioning glance. The wizard shrugged and started to explain. “I didn’t want to interrupt, but Harry was quite upset. I think because I didn’t transform the moment he demanded I do. Can’t be a bird when we two are alone, now, can I? He was inconsolable.”

Lily smiled, rocking her baby boy on her hip. “He does like the animagus transformation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he were to achieve it himself one day.” Lily looked back at Tom and noticed an uncertainly hovering Severus just behind him. “Do you want some tea?”

Tom smirked, and shook his head, waving at Harry. “No, thank you. I’ll be in my office if you need me. Severus.” With a nod to the other man, Tom left the room and closed the door quietly behind himself.

Huffing out a breath, Severus sat back down, rubbing a hand over his face. “Am I dreaming? This is all so surreal.”

“I can assure you it’s quite real,” Lily answered, deadpan.

“I feared as much,” Severus murmured in answer before they returned to their discussion on potions.

oooOOooo

Tom was ready to start his workday, and before he put on his glamour and call a select group of Death Eaters for the planned meeting, he was going to hand over a book. Lily had asked him to give the book to Severus before she had set up her workstation for enchanting more mirrors, Harry playing nearby. And it would be simply rude and silly to decline. Even as playing owl felt kind of silly as well.

With a sharp rap of his knuckles on the door, Tom announced his presence. He wasn’t going to risk walking in on Severus doing anything he didn’t want to know about. These were Severus’ private rooms after all.

Behind the door he heard something heavy fall to the floor, something made from wood – a chair? – being dragged over the floor, and someone swearing, before the door opened and Severus gave a deep bow. He looked dishevelled, and seemed to be favouring one leg.

“Good morning, Severus,” Tom greeted, keeping a smirk barely at bay.

“Good morning, my Lord,” Severus answered, straightening and taking on a more respectable at-attention stance.

“Lily said she had promised to find this book for you,” Tom said, handing over a small book with an intriguing title. _A witch's guide to a big family_. A brief look at a few pages had revealed that most information inside circled around various fertility potions, contraceptives, and other magic linked broadly to pregnancies. Or the avoidance of such a state.

Severus accepted the book, clearly recognizing the title or at least the subject. “Thank you, my Lord.” He bowed again, and unintentionally made enough space in the doorway that Tom could see a bit of the room Severus was staying in.

There was a cushion in the floor, a candle blown out and tumbled over, cooled wax evident around it, a book and a sheet with notes on the low table nearest the cushion. Seemed as if Severus had been meditating.

“Do you have enough to do, Severus?” The potions stocks had been replenished more than a week ago. And even before that, only the more boring, most often used ones had needed restocking. With Severus still unable to leave with the Order out to get him, the man had to be getting bored by now. “I know that there still are reports of Order members checking on the places known to be frequented by you. But now that you’re _in the know_ you might want to visit with Lily?” Tom tried to make it a question, as he wasn’t about to risk the peace in his home by ordering Severus to meet up with Lily. Now that he no longer needed a messenger to communicate with her, he was sure that she wouldn’t be pleased if he did order something like that.

“Thank you, my Lord. I’ve just got the information for a new potion-related research project, and I’m working on a private project as well.” Severus bowed again from the neck. “If you want me to brew or research something specific, that task would obviously take precedence.”

A private project that involved meditation and the taking of notes? Tom hummed. “I currently have no tasks for you. Please feel free to ask for additional material either for Lily’s research task, or for your own project.” Should he ask Lily what she had asked Severus to research? There was no denying that he was curious. But it could be considered rude and invasive. Maybe he should think on it.

Maybe she was planning on telling him.

It was possible.

Severus bowed again and Tom turned and walked away to prepare for the meeting. Once he reached his own room he put on his billowing black Dark Lord robes, slipped into the fancy boots that were spelled to be absolutely soundless, and then flicked his wand into his hand to apply the face of Lord Voldemort. Maybe he should think about retiring that persona. The Daily Prophet had shifted from focusing on him to pointing out actions and rumoured sightings of Order members as well as specific cases of corruption. Almost all influence had slipped from those Ministry officials who had made sure corruption and the Death Eaters’ activity against it had been kept under wraps.

With the election of one of his own into the position of Minister imminent, Dumbledore out of the picture, and that silly prophecy no longer the focus of anyone, he could work on shifting his methods to less violence and more political means even more than before.

Some of his followers certainly would be unhappy with that – all those still waiting for a trial in Ministry custody came to mind – but overall it would be the better approach.

Going to the meeting room instead of the bigger gathering chamber, Tom mentally shifted to concentrate on the upcoming meeting. He barely had sat down in his chair, adjusting the cushioning charm to be more comfortable, when cups, glasses, plates with food, and pitchers with drinks appeared on the long table. Those casual everyday reminders of what could happen to them if magical humans didn’t get back to showing Magic the respect she was due were like a punch in the gut. They too would lose magic as they knew it. Maybe even becoming muggles, or worse.

Tom’s musings over which fate would be the worse one – losing magic and living as muggles forevermore, or becoming like the house elves, bound as servants to another magical race – were interrupted by his Death Eaters arriving. It was only a select group of those in the Wizengamot that had been called to this meeting. So it didn‘t take long for them all to file in.

“Come in and sit down!” Tom called, waving his hand at the seats to both sides of the long table.

The arriving wizards followed his unspoken order, settling in the chairs, removing their masks and filling cups and small plates from the offered selection.

“Have you decided whether you want to be Minister of Magic yourself, Abraxas?” Tom asked his old schoolmate, levitating a small pastry to his own plate.

“I would rather not, my Lord. I am just recovering from Dragon Pox, after all, and would like to concentrate on different things at the moment.” That seemed reasonable to Tom. After all, it had been a near thing, and only the fact that Severus had been available for constant brewing in those early stages had enabled them to save Abraxas’ life.

Next to Abraxas sat his son Lucius, father to a boy roughly the same age as Harry, who carefully stirred some sugar into his tea. “Father agreed to publicly endorse my appointment to the post. With him in a consulting capacity, my comparative youth shouldn’t be much of a problem. If this solution pleases you, my Lord.”

Tom nodded thoughtfully. With Abraxas’ health problems, this might be the better option. “You certainly have your family name in your favour.” They moved on to a more detailed discussion about who, of those with a vote, would be a possible problem during the process, who might be blackmailed or convinced, who was a lost cause, and so on and so forth.

Some time into the discussion, Tom noticed that the son of Cantankerus Nott – who had been out of Hogwarts for a long time when Tom attended – seemed to be restless and distracted. “What is the matter, Sebastian?” Tom decided to ask when there was a short lull in their discussion.

The addressed wizard started badly, spilling the tea from the cup he had been holding all over himself. Tom waved his hand, vanishing the hot tea, now really worried for the other wizard. The man had recently lost his wife, after all, and by all accounts they had been fond of each other. Not all that usual in the typical arranged marriage.

“Please excuse my inattentiveness, my Lord. I’m worried for my son. He doesn’t bear being apart from me very well since… since his mother didn’t come back.” Sebastian’s voice was hollow, and Tom had to work to keep his face impassive. That was right, they were using the untimely death of Sebastian’s wife to get one of their own into the position of Minister.

Then the unwelcome question, whether Harry was missing James Potter and if he had grieved for the man Tom had killed, entered Tom’s mind. Quickly followed by the realisation that he wouldn’t dare – ever – to ask Lily about Harry’s reaction to that night.

But he had another decision to make here and now. He could worry about his own son and the boy’s mother later.

“While I am thankful for your dedication, Sebastian, I think we can find a better solution than keeping you away from your son. Especially since it renders you unable to actually contribute to this discussion,” Tom said decisively, standing up, wand slipping into his hand. Tom ignored the subtle flinches all around the table. “Gentlemen, let’s relocate this meeting to Nott’s home, where his son can be reassured that his father will be there for him.” He was met with confused and disbelieving looks all around. But all of the others slowly rose to their feet as well, picking up their masks from the table as they went.

Then Lucius gathered the courage to speak up. “My Lord, may I be so bold as to point out that your appearance might counteract your purpose.”

Tom turned to the blond man, smirking a little. Lucius flinched as Tom raised his wand, but gasped in surprise when no curse came flying his way. Tom rolled his eyes and watched the reactions to him removing his Voldemort glamour. “I’m aware, Lucius. Leaving this place for any of your homes looking like that wouldn’t be a good idea anyway. With all we have accomplished recently, we can’t risk tying any of you that obviously to Lord Voldemort, now, can we? Shall we leave?”

It took a moment longer, but then they were moving out of the meeting room and to the Floo. Abraxas fell into step with Tom, giving him a speculative once-over, before quietly remarking on his appearance. “Did you really go to all that trouble to pretend that your appearance was warped through rituals?”

“Among other reasons, I wanted a way to conceal my identity, Abraxas. But now it might be time to change a few things. Any more questions?” Tom wasn’t worried that he would lose Abraxas’ loyalty over this. His old schoolmate always had been one of the more pragmatic and politically minded of his followers. It was unlikely that Abraxas would have trouble with the change in methods.

“Are you going to claim your inheritance now?” Tom had contemplated laying claim to his family name – even though there had been no assets left on the magical side of his family – during their last year at Hogwarts. Nothing had come out of it, for one because there hadn’t been enough to be gained, but of course Abraxas would remember.

“Maybe. I’ll have to think on it. The circumstances have changed a bit, but not really all that drastically.” Tom shrugged and watched as the others started to use the Floo to travel to their new meeting place.

“I can help you find a witch to marry. I think I remember that there were certain stipulations attached to the Gaunt seat?” Abraxas was speaking rather quietly, only for Tom’s ears.

“There are, but I don’t want you to find me a witch to marry, Abraxas. The basic problems with that plan still are the same, after all.” Because which respectable witch of a respectable family was either not among those not worshipping magic, or would agree to marry a halfblood?

“Whatever you need, my Lord,” Abraxas said with a one-shouldered shrug, before he picked up a pinch of floo powder and made his way over, leaving Tom to follow as the last of them.

Tom heaved a sigh. If he only knew what he really needed. For the moment he needed a solid plan for how to get one of his into the position of Minister. What he wanted to get out of his own personal life was no less important, but didn’t need to be decided right now.

ooOoo

When Tom finally made it home, it was already late, and he was surprised to find Lily pacing the hall with a sleepy but fussy Harry on her arm.

“Is all well?” All the books Tom had read had hinted at a lot of possible troubles that befell little children. From things as vexing as colics and fever cramps to teething problems, everything was possible.

Lily turned to him and gave him a tired smile. “I think he’s teething again. Hasn’t slept a moment and is consequently cranky now.” Tom moved closer to them and watched with silent awe as Harry moved his head restlessly from side to side, rubbing one tiny fist over his eyes.

“Poor little one,” Tom crooned, touching Harry‘s hair. “I vaguely remember a reference to a potion that is specifically designed to help dull the pain caused by teething. Shall I look into that?”

Lily nodded, swaying back and forth in place to rock Harry. “That would be good.” Then she looked him over from head to toe and back into his eyes. “How did your day go?”

Well, it seemed he looked as tired as he felt. “It was a long day of meetings.” Tom sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, and then deliberately moved his shoulders in circles to ease some of the tension in his back. “And one filled with unpleasant reminders.” Many unpleasant reminders about what he had done by killing the man Harry had known as his father. Watching the little boy Theo grieve for his mother had been painful.

Lily only hummed shortly in assent, resuming her pacing up and down the hall, rocking Harry and humming a lullaby in an attempt to soothe the little boy.

Tom moved to shrug out of his cloak, tossing it into the air, where one of the elves magicked it away. “Do you think we need to arrange a play-date for Harry? I’m not really sure, but isn’t it kind of important for his development to interact with children his age?”

They moved along the hall into the parlour, where Tom let himself fall into a settee, and Lily walked over to the fireplace to slowly sway in place. “But who could he meet? By now I don’t think that it would be safe to meet with Alice, or any of my other friends from school. And I don’t think the situation would be all that different with any other children.” She probably meant those other children’s parents, but Tom understood anyway.

Tom shrugged again. “That depends on your willingness to admit to your contact with me. Narcissa Malfoy has a son close to Harry in age. Then there is little Theodore Nott, whose father was in one of the meetings today. Neither of their families will pose a danger to Harry based on his connection to me.” Lily turned so that she faced towards the fireplace, giving her back to Tom. She still seemed reluctant to expose their connection to a bigger group of people. But as they just had taken Severus into their confidence, that wasn’t all that surprising.

“I’m going to look up that potion and brew it. Think on it, Lily. I could place powerful obscuring spells on you both to conceal your identity. But I’m willing to involve more people if you are. In the end it’s your decision.” Tom was pretty sure she was undecided and maybe even still unsure if she was even willing to let him remain a part of their life, but more pressure than this would probably be counterproductive. “I’ll let you know once the potion is ready.”

Tom felt like going to sleep and was surely tired enough to fall asleep quickly, but while Harry was suffering from pain it simply didn’t feel right. It was neither a complicated nor long brew. He would get sleep soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now Severus knows, and Tom contemplating involving even more people.   
> This was the last chapter already finished. The next one is started, but I didn’t really have a lot of energy to write on it. So no promises on when the next chapter will be published.  
> Take care and stay as safe as you can!
> 
> Published 13th of June 2020  
> last edited 14th of June 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	15. Chapter 18 - Spring

This morning there were quite a few egg dishes as part of their breakfast selection. It was the day the British magical humans traditionally had celebrated the beginning of spring, and therefore the day he had his people hold the traditional spring celebrations.

Eggs as a symbol of beginning life was one of the main ingredients in many a traditional dish for this day.

“So you want to tell me that the festival days for honouring magic are not all determined by the movement of the sun, moon, and earth relative to each other?” Lily asked, while absentmindedly catching Harry’s waving arm before he could knock something over.

“Yes.” Tom nodded, spooning some scrambled eggs with fresh, wild herbs onto his freshly baked bread. “Beside significant occasions in a magical being’s life. Like being born or giving birth, reaching specific ages – depending on cultural significance – marriage, the beginning and finishing of a building… you get the idea.” Tom waved his hand to indicate all the other possible reasons one would feel thankful for Magic. “Whatever a sentient being might thank a higher being for is a good reason to either ask for Magic’s blessing or thank Her for granting it.”

“Nana!” Harry demanded, making Tom smile and levitating a Banana out of the bowl of fruits, peeling it while it was hovering and turning around its axis. Then he levitated it over to Harry so that the little boy could pluck it from the air.

Lily laughed. “What do you say, Harry?”

“Thank’,” Harry mumbled, his green eyes focused on the banana in his hand, as it was already being converted into mush.

“You’re welcome.” Tom liked Lily’s approach to teaching Harry some manners. Much better than the way he had been taught.

“I guess that isn’t all that strange.” Lily mused, returning to their conversation.

“After I had finished school I went to travel the world for a while. As was the custom for everyone who could afford it back then. The traditions around the equator aren’t as centered around the change of the seasons as ours. For example.” Tom continued between bites.

Lily rubbed one hand across her brow, nodding and shaking her head. “I guess I get it. People are essentially the same. Whatever has the most influence on one’s life is part of any religion forming. If it’s one god, a group of gods, or other personifications of primordial forces, it doesn’t matter in the end.” She sighed, and Tom quickly took another bite of his breakfast to prevent himself from trying to convince her of the existence of Magic as an entity. By now he was sure Lily would have to come to that conclusion on her own. Her stance on religion of any kind was really interesting, but also a real obstacle in his quest to convince her of the validity of his fight.

“So, you’ll be back late?” She finally returned to the reason they had made this excurse into magical traditions in the first place, asking after his plans for the day.

“Yes. There will be a celebration with dancing and food in the evening. I’ll have to stay to the end. I hope that we’ll be also celebrating the result of the election being held this morning,” Tom answered. “But I guess there will be time for us to go out into the garden and let Harry search for a little basket of sweets the elves have hidden for him.”

That declaration surprised Lily visibly. “Isn’t that a Christian tradition?” Before Tom could ask her how a bunny hiding sweets was connected to the supposed resurrection of a supposed savior, she already was speaking again. “It’s probably another of those things that was appropriated from somewhere?” Not waiting for an answer she looked over to where Harry had smeared most of the banana all over himself, his high chair, and what he could reach of the table. “I’m sure Harry will have fun.”

A while – and a few cleaning charms – later they were out in the garden keeping an eye on Harry who was searching around the vegetable garden for the promised basket of sweets and little gifts.

“I hope the basket isn’t too well hidden. Harry isn’t really old enough yet to search effectively.” Lily said, playing with a small branch of apple blossoms she had picked up while they had made their way here through the orchard.

“The elves have taken that into account. See,” Tom pointed to where the basket with a big bow was sitting right next to the freshly made bed of carrots and onions, ”I’ve already spotted it. Once Harry rounds the right corner, he’ll see it too.”

Every time Harry turned around to see if they were still there, both Lily and Tom waved, and then kept following Harry around the garden.

“I asked Severus if he can find a way to reverse the effects of the potion I took to make sure Harry would pass as James’ son.”

Tom blinked at that sudden declaration from Lily. She wanted Harry to look more like him? What other intention could she have with a plan like that? Right?

“Why?” He knew that it was a complex question, but it was the best he could do in that moment.

“You’re winning, Tom. I want the best for my baby. Being tied to a man who will be painted as the enemy is not the best.” Lily sounded too rational. How could she be so calm when speaking about her late husband?

Mothers were frightening.

Truly frightening in their ability to change their priorities and leave behind deeply held beliefs in pursuit of their children’s welfare. He had to remember never to underestimate that drive.

“It’s likely that it will be to his benefit, yes. But do you want him to be known as related to me? Do you want to be tied to me in public? As yourself? As someone else? You know that it would be a rather huge commitment. For both of us.” Tom took a deep breath. “I’m willing to be known as Harry’s father. If that’s what you’re asking.” He felt as if he had bungled that up. Politics were so much easier, because he could leave feelings out of it.

Lily’s shoulders rose and fell in a deep breath. “Good.” Maybe he hadn’t bungled this after all. “Do you think you’ll be able to arrange one of those play dates you were talking about? I think Harry really needs more people around him.”

“I can do that.” Tom nodded and then turned to where Harry called out in triumph. Both Lily and he laughed, watching Harry carrying the basket back to where they were standing, almost tripping over his own feet, as the basket with its high handle was near Harry’s height.

“Ma! Da! Look!” Harry called out to them a proud smile on his face.

“Well done, Harry!” Tom praised, smiling from ear to ear. By now he was pretty sure that Harry knew that he was the little boy’s father. Tom had no idea how he knew, or how long he had known, but Harry knew. Why else was the little boy calling him dad constantly?

“You found it!” Lily agreed, picking Harry up from the ground, being careful of the basket. “And now let’s get back into the house so Tom can get ready for work and we can play a little. Sounds good?”

“Yeah!”

ooOoo

It was several hours later that Tom stood in the big entrance hall of the Ministry of Magic, looking at the ridiculous conglomeration of figures in the middle of the fountain. It had been a long day of playing to an audience for him, but they had been successful.

Another person came to stand next to Tom. He didn’t turn to look. “It’s rather startling to see you here. Like this, my friend,” Abraxas said conversationally. “And I love how you stumped all those fools who aligned themselves with Dumbledore in there.” His old friend was referring to the Wizengamot Chamber where Tom had presented his case earlier this morning.

“I have to say it was a satisfying moment,” Tom answered, turning to see the smirk on Abraxas’ face.

The other wizard chuckled and turned so that they were facing each other. “And the faces of everyone who didn’t know before, learning about your parents, were a sight to behold as well. I remember that the Hat didn’t hesitate over your sorting for a moment. How surprised I was that a nobody would be sorted into Slytherin so quickly. And now I wonder if it considered Gryffindor as another option.”

That had Tom chuckling. “The Hat sounded quite sure about its decision, I assure you. And I wouldn’t claim to having been brave today. With presenting the marriage certificate of my parents, and the documentation of my birth from the orphanage, I can lay claim to the lineage of Gaunt, and therefore Slytherin, as well as the remaining wealth of the Riddle family.” He gave Abraxas a pointed look. “There’s still a lot to do to actually get all the benefits I hope to gain, but exposing those pieces of my past is the only way to gain me what I need.” At least that was the plan.

“A quintessentially Slytherin move.” Abraxas nodded. “You’ll be at our party this evening?” Tom hummed in agreement and nodded. They had agreed to have Abraxas invite Tom in this public setting to establish a connection in the eyes of society. It had already been planned that Tom would be there in his role as their Lord and priest – even though Tom didn’t really feel comfortable with that title in particular, as it was connected to too many bad memories from his own childhood – for a few weeks now.

“If you’ll have me at your celebration for your son’s election into the position of Minister, I’ll be happy to be there,” Tom answered with a small incline of his head. “Do you plan a big gathering?”

“No. Only family and close friends today. We’ll hold a bigger party once we’ve had a few days to prepare. My dear daughter-in-law insisted on not preparing anything before the vote actually had passed. She’s a little superstitious like that.” Tom nodded even as he knew that Narcissa Malfoy, né Black, was anything but. It simply had been a way to make sure the people attending their spring celebration could be hand picked.

“Abraxas!” Lord Odgen called out from behind the fountain, hastening his steps to quickly reach a more comfortable conversation distance. “I want to congratulate you and your family to your son’s appointment to the position of Minister. Have you already planned the party to celebrate this happy event?”

Tom extracted himself from the situation with a polite nod – there was nothing to gain here as Odgen had always been more interested in his company’s success than in politics – and made to speak with a few more people not too closely linked to Dumbledore’s old allies. He would need to establish connections, but shouldn’t start with the most opposed to his positions first.

“Mr. Riddle,” Tom turned to see one of the younger Boneses working at the Ministry – Amelia from the DMLE if he wasn’t mixing things up – calmly walking up to him, “may I have a moment of your time?”

“Amelia Bones?” Tom asked getting a confirming nod, “I do have time for a short chat,” he gave her a polite nod and indicated his willingness to speak with her. As far as Tom had heard from his people, this particular witch was incorruptible and of firm moral beliefs. Maybe not an easy person for him to work with, but certainly better than many of those officials accepting bribes.

“Yes, I’m Amelia Bones.” She said, seemingly bracing herself for something. “I wondered why you decided to come forward now. There was a lot of time if what I heard is to be believed.” Well, she certainly was blunt. But it most likely was an effective tactic. If he had been anyone else he probably would be fidgeting under her stern, assessing gaze.

She really was intense in her mannerisms. Luckily he wasn’t easily intimidated.

“Some things do need time. For the longest time I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I considered teaching at first. But I was encouraged by Professor Dippet to travel and gather more experience.” Tom shrugged. “And on top of that it took a while to find the proof I presented today.” After that short explanation, Tom steered the conversation to the rather safer topic of foreign places – muggle and magical – and what he had seen while travelling. By the time Tom had to leave they had talked about Amelia’s own travels and further plans for more adventures outside of Britain. A promising start for their acquaintance.

ooOoo

The moon stood high in the sky, bathing their gathering in its pale light. Tom stood close to the flames burning high around his arms, consuming the different woods they had piled at the start of their celebration, but not harming him.

Chanting the words of the ritual he had found in an old book of the Nott library when he had been a teenager, Tom tilted the stone bowl he had used to gather the blood of the lamb they had sacrificed earlier, letting the blood fall into the flames.

The flames rose higher and higher into the air, higher than Tom’s head, changing colours from what one expected of wood fire to a deep purple. The witches and wizards were dancing around him in a circle, singing and chanting, moving erratically and deep in trance, getting faster and faster. The air filled with magic more and more, almost getting visible and then creating sparks along the tips of branches, hair, and fingers of everyone present.

The moment Tom spoke the final word he let the bowl fall into the fire, raised his arms over his head to the sky and the stars, let all the gathered magic move through him as their offering and thanks to Magic. All around him the people stopped, raising their hands to the sky as well.

A deep feeling of contentment filled Tom, and he felt a silly grin spread across his face. After such a big working he always felt simply wonderful.

He turned once in a circle to see all those dignified Lords and Ladies in light, flowing, linen shifts, working hard to not seem as drunken as they probably felt. While it was fun seeing them out of their usual finery, Tom was rather happy that doing rituals like this one skyclad – as it was called in old texts – had fallen out of fashion several generations back. There were only few rituals where being nude was actually required, and the bigger communal celebration to honour magic didn’t belong to those.

Thankfully.

Then Tom’s eyes fell onto Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius’ sister-in-law, and he felt unease creep up his spine. She had had that creepy look in her eyes the moment he had stepped out before the ritual had begun. Of course he had known the moment he had first dropped his glamours before a group of his Death Eaters that it wouldn’t take long for the information to make the rounds. It seemed that Bellatrix had decided she liked his real face just as much as his glamour.

“My Lord,” Bella said, sinking into a low curtsey, head bowed, her voice sultry. Then she turned her face so she could look up at him through her long lashes and her hair that had fallen forward as she had let it down. Around them the younger couples vanished into the bushes, giggling and in some cases making sounds that reminded Tom of drunken, horny teenagers. “I would be honoured if you would allow me to keep you company, my Lord.” She was reasonably polite, Tom had to admit, but her obvious offer made him uncomfortable nonetheless. She was married, and right there a few feet behind her Tom could see her husband watching them.

They had probably spoken about Bella’s intention – the Lestranges had what would have been considered scandalously loose morals back in the forties – but that didn’t change the fact that Tom really wasn’t interested in Bella.

With more than a small amount of surprise Tom realized that he felt he would be betraying Lily if he went with another women now.

How odd.

Setting that realisation aside to consider later, Tom quickly decided on how to decline the amorous advances of Bellatrix Lestrange. “May I suggest that you and your husband use this blessed night for an attempt to fulfil the terms of your marriage contract?”

Bella looked up quickly, surprised, and murmured some vaguely agreeing words, which Tom took as his cue to leave before she suggested that he join them. He really wasn’t in the mood and would rather work to understand why he felt that he would betray Lily if he were to search for another partner. They were living in the same house, true. But only because they had a son and not because the two of them were in a relationship. So why hadn’t he sought out the company of a woman since he had learned of Harry? He hadn’t thought about it before now, but even as busy as he had been since the beginning of November, being busy had never resulted in his not having sex for this long in the past.

He wandered over to the buffet Narcissa had had her elves prepare and looked over the offered selection. It looked as if there were quite a few different finger foods to choose from, but as Tom was mostly thirsty, he picked up a mixed drink. Fruit juices and champagne, if he wasn’t mistaken.

“My Lord,” Narcissa said as she stepped onto the terrace where the celebration would continue with food once the people would returned from the different spots around the garden.

“Narcissa,” Tom answered, nodding in greeting. “Draco is sleeping now?” She hadn’t taken part in the ritual because her son had been crying, unable to sleep.

“Yes, my Lord. The potion started to work after a while and he calmed down enough to sleep.” Narcissa picked up one of the little plates and then placed what looked like little pancakes on it, before turning to a few other plates.

“That’s good. Colic, or are the teeth coming in?” As far as Tom was aware, both were pretty usual causes for children around that age to suffer from pain. Harry currently was getting more teeth.

Narcissa blinked a few times, before she was able to answer. “He’s teething, my Lord.” She took a breath, smiled and continued to talk with little pause. ”I saw my sister offering her company to you. I hope she didn’t offend you, my Lord.” Narcissa’s rapid topic change surprised Tom into blinking, speechless for longer than he was comfortable admitting.

“She didn’t offend me. But her implied offer to help me continue my family line isn’t needed,” Tom finally answered. He took another sip from the drink and then levitated several different snacks onto a plate he then levitated to his hand. “I already have a son.” If he wanted Harry to play with Draco and other children of his followers, they needed to know that he had a child.

“I didn’t know you were married, my Lord!” Narcissa seemed genuinely happy for him, almost bouncing on her feet.

“I’m not,” Tom denied. “It was all rather unplanned. One might even speculate that Magic might have had a hand in the events.” Really, how high were the chances for a wizard and a witch to meet each other in a muggle pub, pretending to be muggles, both casting contraceptive charms and still managing to procreate at their first and only meeting?

“I assume you kept his existence a secret to ensure his safety? How old is your son?” Narcissa was warming up to the topic. Not that Tom was against discussing Harry with someone beside Lily. But it was odd to be the topic of gossip like this.

He felt vague dread settle in his stomach as he realised that there would be many more conversations like this to come.

“His safety certainly is playing into it as well,” Tom nodded, looking out over the garden and the people slowly returning in pairs and groups. “And he’ll be in the same year as Draco at Hogwarts.” Lily’s request from this morning came to mind. “Would you agree to a… play date?” Now he felt silly. He normally prided himself with being able to learn quickly and adapt to new situations without problems. And while he did fine with caring for Harry, talking with others about being a father was new.

“We would be honoured, my Lord,” Narcissa accepted with a small dip of her head, curiosity in her eyes as clear as the moon in the sky. Tom was sure there were a host of questions running around in the woman’s head.

But he rather would not be answering them just now.

oooOOooo

After placing the sleeping Harry into his bed – painted animals curling up to sleep along the walls – Lily carefully set the monitoring charm and closed the door behind herself on her way to her own bedroom. She was expecting Severus as a guest this evening and wanted to change into some more formal robes.

There was no reason to give the house elves something to gossip about.

While changing, her eyes fell onto the letter from James she still hadn’t read, and she still couldn’t find it in her to read it now. She placed the letter back into the drawer of her little writing desk. The idea of its sitting out helping her not to forget it was working out a little better than she had planned, as she had a guilty feeling everytime her eyes fell on it, but also worse, as she hadn’t read it yet. She had to find another way to motivate herself.

They were sitting in the parlour a while later, tea and cake on the small table between them, when Lily couldn’t contain her amusement any longer. “Sev, please, relax! How can we enjoy a nice evening of catching up when you’re tense as a fifth-year before the start of the History exam?”

The glower Severus send her way was impressive, but diminished by his tense posture. “I’m sorry that I’m not entirely at ease in my Lord’s home.” That didn’t really warrant an answer, so Lily only gave her friend a look which prompted Severus to sigh and visibly relax. As much as he was able. So not by much. “You asked me to research possible antidotes.”

Eager to hear what her friend had found, Lily accepted the change in topic. “What did you find?”

“There is indeed an antidote that can be administered before the child in question is too old. The reference I found wasn’t all too clear on what _too old_ would be, but as your son isn’t two yet, I would say that we can take the risk.” Severus started his explanation, picking up his teacup to take a sip. “The potion isn’t hard to brew, and the ingredients are neither hard to come by nor expensive. It’s a one-time dose. If you really want to go through with this, it could be done and over with in a few weeks.”

Lily hummed thoughtfully. “And the potion is safe in your opinion? You say it’s not used often, so I guess there’s not a lot known about side effects or possible complications?”

“I had a good look at the formula. Everything seems to match with what I would expect to work. And the source which led me to the recipe seems to be credible. It was a court case and quite the scandal in the late 1890’s. A Potions Master was asked to create an antidote after one witch had fed her sister-in-law the potion because she wanted to disrupt her brother’s marriage.”

“She did what?” Lily asked out loud wondering why someone would do something like that.

“It was a situation fit for one of those over-dramatic romance novels. The brother didn’t marry the sister’s best friend, but another, younger, witch. So the sister wanted to make her brother think his wife was cheating on him. She picked hair from a wizard acquaintance of theirs, who had prominently different features, and brewed the potion. She made sure her sister-in-law would get enough doses, but was caught.” Severus was smirking now. “If you want I can give you the information I found. That read was well worth the speculative looks I got from the others in the potion-related circles.”

“You ventured out of hiding to find this information?” Lily couldn’t quite hide her worry. Moody had only gotten worse since the Order had been outlawed. If her request had prompted Severus to get himself into a dangerous situation… she wouldn’t know what she would do if he was hurt because of something like this.

“In a way. But not really,” Severus said, his gaze knowing. “I used the floo in some different safe places, met with a few people, and also asked a few… of my acquaintances,” Lily silently translated that into Death Eaters, “for books and information. That’s how I got into possession of the recipe and the research notes with all the details about the circumstances. The Potions Master tasked with the research was thorough.” Severus clearly didn’t want to discuss how he had acquired the information and switched the topic back. “The potion was given to the child after it had been born, at a few months of age.” He shrugged and Lily sighed.

“Would you start brewing it then? And I really would like to read that journal, please. That sounds like something worth reading. And like it would be a great change from my usual reading material.” Severus nodded and Lily leaned forward to pick up the teapot and refill their cups.

“Why are you not part of that celebration I know is happening right now?” Lily casually asked, while folding her hands around the warm cup. She had been surprised when Severus had asked her if he could come visit this evening, as Tom already had told her about the spring celebration after the vote on the Minister position in the Ministry.

“Because I don’t like parties, as you well know,” Severus answered, a sneer on his face. “If it were only the ritual and honouring Magic it would be different. But our new Minister is one to insist on a more _normal_ party afterwards. He has fun talking with people about useless stuff. But he’s a socialite.” Severus shrugged as if he wanted to say _what can you do?_ “And as good as the food is that Narcissa offers at her parties, it’s not good enough to make me want to endure some of the people I know will be there.”

Severus was right, Lily did know that he wasn’t really one to attend parties if given the choice. But she was sure that there had to be people there her friend would love to see. “Don’t tell me the possibility to interact with Regulus Black, maybe even dance with him, isn’t tempting.”

Lily hid her grin behind the teacup when Severus flushed bright red. Ever since he had inadvertently let slip in her presence how cute Regulus Black’s curls were, she had been teasing him with that. Sometimes she had wondered if part of the ever growing animosity between Sirius and Severus had its root somewhere in teenage hormones added onto the rivalry that had started when they had come to Hogwarts.

Cheeks still red, Severus drew Lily a weak glare. “Yes, Regulus will be there, but so will Bellatrix Lestrange. And after the honouring of Magic, and the thanks for the return of growing and life are finished, the air usually is charged with enough sexual energy to tempt a nun. No one wants to be near Bellatrix Lestrange when that happens.”

Lily could see the shiver running down Severus’ spine and drew her brows together in a frown. Why did the image of Tom being eyed by Bellatrix Lestrange _that way_ cause her stomach to feel funny? And not in a pleasant way.

“But enough of annoying witches who have no concept of personal space and back to interesting reading material,” Severus spoke up, setting down his empty cup on the table, to pick a new slice of cake, once again shifting their topic of conversation rapidly and suddenly. “How far have you come in your translation efforts?”

“I’m not even through a quarter of the material, so not near finished in any way or form. But I decided to let the tax and census information rest for a while and have changed to some personal correspondence that’s also among all the things Tom has gathered together.”

“Tom?” Severus asked before he suddenly went pale, probably realizing who she was talking about.

“Yes, that’s his name.” Lily said, exasperated. Waving that concern away, ignoring Severus’ hangup and going on with her explanation. “Anyway I found a letter addressed to someone who probably was a respected wizard, written by the head of an old family of High Elves, or so he claims. And he begs the human wizard to perform what he calls _the binding_ with the only child of his family.” It had not been easy translating that letter. For one, it wasn’t in the best condition, parts of it almost illegible, and then it seemed as if the person writing the letter hadn’t been familiar with the language they were using. “There’s still a lot of context missing, but the information in that letter seems to support the claim that house elves as we know them today, are the only remaining descendants of the High Elves.”

The despair of that parent over the fact this child was doomed to die like all its older siblings before, was all too obvious in the letter. It seemed as if the High Elves had been more dependent on having magic than humans were, which led to their dying off once they started losing it.

“Proof for the origin of house elves, but not the existence of Magic and that we need to honour her to keep magic?” Severus picked up on her distinction rather easily.

“Well, just because the High Elves started losing magic, lost their near immortality, and were dying off back then, I don’t see a logical conclusion for the existence of some higher entity. It doesn’t work that way.” Lily gave Severus an unimpressed look, and he shrugged his shoulders.

“We’ve had this discussion more than once. Even if aimed at another higher entity,” he said with another shrug. “We didn’t find a way for a human to prove the existence of God, or a god at all, or to disprove any such theory.” Lily nodded, thinking back to their hours-long philosophical discussions during the summer between third and fourth year. Petunia had found Christianity that year, and that had sparked many heated discussions in the Evans household. The whole _you shall not suffer a witch to live_ thing had been a nightmare between the sisters. Lily had needed to leave the house often, and talking with her best friend had helped.

In the end, the whole summer had only strengthened Lily’s conviction that religion wasn’t anything more than a human invention. Useful in some situations, but not a long-term solution for human civilisation.

“Do you think translating those texts will be able to prove the existence of Magic for you at all?” Severus finally asked, a doubting look on his face.

Lily gave a sigh, and then a sad little smile. “I’m not translating those texts in an attempt to find something proving that there is an entity Magic with sentience and a plan. I want to know if Tom is telling the truth about his motives.” It felt good to finally be able to talk about this with someone. Too long had she been with the Order and then only Tom. Having her best friend back was good. “Regardless of whether or not there is an entity Magic, if Tom believes what he tells everyone, if he is sincere, then that is something I want to know.” The next bit she had been thinking on for a while now, and she spoke haltingly, choosing her words with care to make sure Severus would understand. “Maybe there is such an entity, and not doing what she wants results in a loss of magic. Maybe there _is not_. It seems that the High Elves died, and all that remains are house elves. We don’t know why it happened. Maybe there was an illness? Maybe they managed to curse themselves? Maybe they pissed off Magic.” She shrugged. “Could the same happen to humans? Maybe. I don’t know. I need to know if it’s a good thing that Tom seems to be winning. Knowing if the reasons he claims for his actions are what he says they are hopefully will help me with that.”

They talked for hours narrowing down what Lily hoped to learn from the translation. Severus filled in her lack of knowledge about how the magical community had honoured Magic in Britain for centuries. She learned a lot about the table Tom had set up to worship Magic, about the significance of the different items Tom placed there.

When Severus finally left, Lily felt pleasantly tired and more clear-headed. Maybe she was figuring this out. And after all the talking of this evening, she was clearer on the complaint of culture erasure that Dumbledore and his political allies had been working on for so long. Lily had read about how the Christian Churches – all variants of it – had worked on erasing local religion and traditions wherever Europeans had laid claim to land that wasn’t theirs to claim. And Dumbledore had been doing that to his own people. Lily still wasn’t happy with the methods Voldemort had been employing, but she understood better now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many stories that use the concept of Magic as a goddess or anything else along those lines are very focused on Europe and religious believes present there before Christianity took over. But if magic is something that exists in humans all around the world, why should European culture be what Magic is about? I don’t know nearly enough about the history of non-white cultures all around the world. So I probably will not write about what I not know, but including the things I don’t know by acknowledging that I do not know them is the least I can do.  
> If someone knows of a good story from a non European point of view using the Harry Potter Universe as a starting point I would love to learn about them.
> 
> First published 22nd of June 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	16. Chapter 19 - Growing Dissent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer than I had thought it would. But it finally is finished. I hope you‘re all as well as once can be and that this chapter might be a bright interruption.

Lily hid a grin behind her teacup. Tom looked as if he had a hangover, which Lily hadn’t seen before.

“Did it get late yesterday?” She was curious, and as Harry was currently intently focused on his breakfast, she didn’t need to keep too much of her attention on him.

“Yes,” Tom answered, sighing, and rubbing one hand over his face. “And I did drink one too many of those cocktails.” He leant back and heaved a sigh, which forced Lily to hide another grin.

“No sober-up at hand?” she asked him, taking a sip from her tea.

Tom gave her a look and rolled his eyes. “I did take one before going to bed. That doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t get enough sleep.” Then he sat up straighter in his chair, and took another piece of toast. “Nor that I have a lot of very boring things to read and write today. I would rather do something else.” Tom spread some orange marmalade onto his toast, and they were silent for a few moments, each eating breakfast and sharing in the task of keeping Harry out of trouble.

It was Tom who broke the comfortable silence first. “How was your evening?”

She hadn’t stayed up until Tom was back, just as he had asked. She had contemplated not going to bed, but once she realised she only was thinking about that idea because she didn’t want to simply do what Tom had asked – indirectly – she had dismissed that notion and gone with common sense. As only one of two people mainly caring for a not-yet-two-year-old child, she needed all the sleep she could get. Silly actions just not to do what someone else had implicitly recommended were not worth it.

So they hadn’t gotten to talking about their evenings when Tom got home.

“We had fun. Severus seemed happy to get out of attending a party, and I got to ask him a lot of questions about the festivities. It was a win-win situation.” Lily really had learned a lot, and after sharing that one letter with her friend, she had new motivation to tackle more of the long and slow process of translating those old documents. Only a few were as interesting on first glance as that letter had been.

“Ah, yes. Severus, the dark cloud over every party he is forced to attend.” Tom’s chuckle surprised Lily a little. She hadn’t been aware that Tom cared enough to learn such little insignificant things about the people working for him. “He was lucky to avoid the Lestranges.” Lily could see the shiver running down Tom’s spine and felt her brows go up to her hairline.

“He hinted at that,” she said, quickly thinking about how to pick her words to get to the bottom of that particular puzzle presented here by two very different men. “Certainly they wouldn’t give you a hard time?” Lily could see Bellatrix – whom she had not interacted with before, but heard about a little from Sirius – teasing Severus. But surely the woman had enough sense of what was appropriate to leave Tom alone at a party hosted by her sister?

Tom snorted. “Well, they do lack a certain sense of… personal boundaries, shall we say? And the time both Bellatrix and her husband have spent trying to find another opportunity to ask me to join them makes me wonder how they would act around someone they do not see as standing above them on the social ladder.” He shook his head and seemed intent on changing the topic. But before he could say a word, Lily interrupted him.

“You know that you’re only heightening my curiosity with all those hints, right?” Severus had been more direct, and Tom’s allusion to personal boundaries pointed in the same direction, but still, Lily wasn’t sure what was going on there.

Tom’s eyes flicked to Harry – who was intently chewing on a slice of cucumber – then back to her, before he took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes. “Bellatrix and her husband… they like to be watched, and to watch others, during sexual acts. They like watching each other while being with others. I guess they are lucky to share this interest. Not all arranged marriages work out like that. But be that as it may, they are not exactly subtle while searching for company, nor do they gracefully accept a negative answer.” Lily felt her mouth falling open. “Well, maybe that’s not entirely fair. I never witnessed nor heard of them getting violent or negative over being rejected. But they are relentless in trying to get the people they find interesting to agree anyway.”

That’s what she got from being nosy for the sake of her curiosity, not heeding the warnings that both Tom and Severus had given between the lines. Hopefully her next sensual dream wouldn’t be interrupted by Mr. and Mrs. Lestrange looking on with eerie smiles on their faces.

They both were rescued from dwelling on this topic further by the house-elves, bringing the morning post.

The Daily Prophet was placed, folded, on the table between Tom and Lily, and a shallow basket was placed at each of their sides, both filled with letters and scrolls.

Since Lily had set up her post box for professional mail, the amount of correspondence had gone up for her. Tom had started getting his mail at the breakfast table – Lily suspected it was only part of it – only recently. She saw it as a sign that he was trying to show her that he didn’t try to hide stuff from her.

“Wes had to remove a tracker spell from one of Missi’s letters. Changed the colour of it to bright orange, we did. Master Tom’s letters were a mix, all cursed or spelled ones are in the usual place they are.” Tom thanked the elf – Lily really needed to learn their names, she wasn’t happy with not being able to address them properly – which popped out of the room, leaving the mail where it had been placed.

Tom reached for the newspaper, shooting Lily a questioning glance. She waved him on, and turned towards Harry. With a smile she flicked her wand at her baby boy, spelling him and his clothes clean again, before she stood to pick him up from his high chair. “Do you want to play or have a nap, Harry?” The moment Harry saw that they were moving over to the playpen, which was more a warded safe area then the little prisons they usually resembled, he started clapping and asking for “‘Nake!” the snake plushie Tom had given to him. With Harry taken care of, Lily returned to the breakfast table, where she could keep an eye on Harry while she went through her mail.

She really wanted to know who had sent a letter with a tracker on it. In fact, she had expected it to happen sometime, once one of her acquaintances realised that she had set up a way to receive mail.

Once Lily had flipped through her mail – most of it a mix of orders and advertisements by the look of things – she found two letters that were not connected to her enchanting business. One was from Remus, the other was from Alice and was in a brightly coloured orange envelope. She felt quite a few different feelings warring inside her. One part was happy that her closest friend since they had left school had remembered her and had gone to the effort to write, the other part remembered that day when the Order had come to Potter Manor prepared for what probably hadn’t been anything good. That there had been a tracker on the letter gave the suspicious part of her the advantage in that fight. But hope was not called a tough fighter for nothing, so Lily opened the letter, hoping for the best.

A few sentences in she realised that her hope had been misplaced.

_Lily,_

_It did take some time to find a way to contact you. Why have you been avoiding us? Can’t you see that we need you? That Death Eater in the_ _post_ _of Minister is a blow! And while Frank and I do have some galleons to put towards our cause, it’s not enough. Aren’t you ashamed that you withdraw the Potter funds?_

She had done that? Lily basically had ignored all the finance stuff since she had had to flee from the Manor. Maybe she should read James’ letter and see what the state of things was before some kind of deadline passed without her noticing.

The letter rambled on like that for most of the page. It was one massive guilt trip. Or at least an attempt at one. Lily wasn’t sure if Alice had decided what to write, or if she just had written the letter because she was – or had been – the closest friend she had in the Order and Moody wanted to use that. Neville was brought up more than once and how Alice only wanted the best for her baby and didn’t Lily want the same for Harry?

There was no doubt in Lily’s mind that she did want the best for Harry, but getting that would not necessarily line up with what Alice thought best for Neville.

Still torn – fear could make people do some really desperate things – Lily folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope, reminded once more by the bright orange that there had been a tracker spell on it.

With a sigh Lily placed the letter back in the basket, and picked up the one written in Remus’ hand. It was written on cheap paper, a stark contrast to the expensive parchment Alice had used, and with what looked like a pencil, not ink and quill.

_Dear Lily,_

_I know that you have little reason to trust me, but I beg you to read my letter to the end. I’m in a bad spot, and it isn’t looking up. Under Moody the Order is getting more extreme by the day. Especially their ability to discern between allies and opponents is decreasing. Everyone not completely on their side is automatically considered an enemy._

_I took a risk a few nights back and spoke up in defence of a young girl who has been attacked recently and will transform for the first time on the next full moon._

_Sirius did defend me, but the hostility when he’s not around has been mounting. And I get the feeling that I’m the only exception that can possibly exist for him because Dumbledore gave me a chance and the old Headmaster obviously would have had to have known._

_I fear that sooner rather than later I’ll have to leave and hide. As you’ve been able to hide yourself and the baby so successfully from the Order so far, I wanted to ask for your help to do the same._

_I don’t want to be killed, or_ _**put out of my misery** _ _as some have rationalised their actions, by_ _those_ _I thought were my friends. But I’m also not willing to go and join one of the packs. So I’m quickly running out of options._

_Remember the dead letter box we used to use? I’ll check there for an answer in the next days._

_Remus_

Lily did remember the place Remus was talking about. A small concealed hole in a wall on the outskirts of Hogsmeade that a few Gryffindors had used when they had been in third year to pass notes and sweets between each other. It had been a game, nothing serious, but it would come in handy now.

But what should she write? She couldn’t very well invite Remus to live with them here. It wasn’t her house and she also wasn’t sure Remus would like living with the Dark Lord, or that Tom would like a wizard in his house who wasn’t sworn to him.

“Why are you frowning?” Tom asked, breaking Lily’s train of thought.

“I got two letters from… friends, I guess?” Lily really wasn’t sure what to call Alice, and Remus had always been James’ friend first, just as Sirius had been James’ friend and not hers.

“I guess they didn’t write just to keep in touch then?” Tom asked, tilting his head to the side like he did when he was transformed. Knowing so many animagi, Lily had noticed that some mannerisms carried over from the animal form to the human in all of them. It was kind of endearing, something she never would mention to any of the animagi she knew.

“No. One pretty much only vented their frustration with me and my drawing back from fighting, and the other asks for help, as the Order is getting more extreme under Moody.” Still hope forced her to keep some information to herself so as to not reveal the identity of the people who wrote.

“Alastor Moody certainly isn’t the most stable individual,” Tom said, his tone of voice contradicting his almost polite word choices.

She could tapdance around what she wanted to know for the whole day, or she could simply go the Gryffindor way and ask. Lily decided to go for the direct route and ask. “What is your stance on werewolf rights?”

Tom blinked a few times, slowly, and then folded the newspaper to place it next to his plate. “That’s a complicated issue,” was the first thing he said before taking a sip from his tea. He clearly was thinking over what he wanted to say, and Lily let him.

She was aware that there were a lot of negative things associated with werewolves pretty much everywhere in the British magical community. It didn’t make much of a difference who you asked, people feared them, pitied them, and generally preferred not to interact with them. “You certainly are aware of the prejudice.” Tom didn’t say it like it was a question but Lily nodded anyway. “But they are not a group that can be overlooked in this struggle for dominance. I’m not actually sure how their existence and the way they are ostracised from our society ties in with our obligation of honouring Magic. One thing is for sure, though, we can’t afford to keep them at the edges of society, and at the same time I know it’ll take generations of work to overcome those ingrained prejudices.”

“That was a politician's answer,” Lily stated, throwing Tom an unimpressed look. “And now something with a little more substance, please.”

Tom chuckled, looking down at his plate, then looked up again, nodding. “We can’t allow transformed werewolves to roam the land as they please, because they will attack humans. At the same time, denying them employment, the right to own land, an education, and everything else that should be available to all magicals is not something that we should continue doing. But it’s hard to get into contact with them to see what they need, or want. They are understandably cautious when a wizard approaches them. And I can tell you that there are quite a few among my followers who see lycanthropy as a curse and those afflicted as less than human.” He shrugged and looked a little helpless. “I’ve had contact with a few werewolves, and obviously many that have been infected young lack a good education, but there are quite a few who were adults before being bitten and only lost everything after. I don’t have a plan yet, but if you have any ideas, I’m all ears.”

Lily nodded slowly. She couldn’t really blame him for not having a plan. It wasn’t like Dumbledore had had anything more than a politician’s answer to this question either. And that the old man had allowed Remus to attend Hogwarts might have been a nice gesture, but it had done nothing to improve the situations for werewolves as a whole.

“If I think of something I’ll let you know.” Maybe she could find a way to help Remus, but she also should consider that he was really attached to Sirius and had been indebted to Albus. Better to be careful.

ooOoo

A few days after Lily had left a letter in the dead letter box near Hogsmeade, she had finally managed to find the resolve to read the letter from James.

Harry was already in bed, Tom had excused himself with plans to brew, and Lily had nothing to do that she could reasonably claim to be of greater importance than the letter left to her by James.

So here she was, sitting on her bed, letter in hand, hesitating.

There was nothing for it, she needed to know what James had written, and needed to take care of whatever responsibilities she might have until Harry came of age to take care of them himself, if he even still was entitled to the Potter assets. It would be better for Harry if he could decide himself if he wanted to lay claim to the Potter name. She shouldn’t risk his losing that opportunity.

Lily ignored her trembling hands as she broke the wax seal decorated with the Potter coat of arms getting the letter out.

_Dear Lily,_

_I hope that you’ll never read this letter. That Albus and the Order manage to defeat this Dark Lord as Albus did the last, and that we'll be able to live peacefully before Harry turns two._

_But I am an Auror, and while I’m confident that we’ll win in the end, it is possible that I will not live to see it happen. So I decided to write this letter, as I can’t get myself to say any of this to you directly. It seems that you have decided to go the traditional way and pretend that Harry is my son, and I have to confess that I’m more than happy to go along with that._

_That being said. I want to apologize. It took Andromeda Tonks ranting about her family and her reasons to cut ties with them for me to realise that I was acting like an arse._

_You were right, I should have accepted the possibility that I was the reason we didn’t have a kid of our own as quickly as I would have liked. And I shouldn’t have instructed the elves to feed you fertility potions without your knowledge._

_I don’t want to contemplate who you asked, and hope it wasn’t Snivellus, but now that I’ve checked myself and know that Harry can’t be mine, I’m glad that you somehow found out and took matters into your own hands._

_I made certain that Harry will get the title of Lord Potter and all the money that goes with it. You’ll be responsible for voting the seat until he gets old enough to do so himself, and you also will be responsible for taking care of all the other stuff that comes with owning land, houses, and so on._

_The Headmaster asked me to make him Harry’s proxy should something happen to me, but I think someone willing to question him from time to time and strong willed enough to not blindly follow, will be better for House Potter in the long run._

_I still hope that you’ll never get to read this letter. But I know if I should die in this war you’ll take care of our son and do your best to see him grow up happy._

_I love you, Lily,_

_James_

He had known?

Lily didn’t notice how the letter slipped from her slack fingers and fell to the floor, her hands shaking. Her mind was reeling.

And he had thought Lily deliberately had searched out another man’s company so that they could have a child? James really had only thought about himself in this, hadn’t he? He could have told her that he had been sorry about feeding her fertility potions, even if he hadn’t been able or willing to tell her that he knew he was infertile.

Lily wasn’t really sure how that would have gone down. Especially as she hadn’t gone out in an attempt to get pregnant and pretend that the child was James’. The very idea of such actions being normal and traditional boggled her mind.

Tears started falling from Lily’s eyes. What would James have thought if he had known that Lily hadn’t known of that custom, that she had flirted with a stranger in a bar and that ending up pregnant had been an accident? What would he have thought if he had gotten a chance to know who Harry’s real father was?

Once the shock that James had known and never said a word had worn off, grief took over and Lily allowed herself to slump on her bed, one of the pillows clutched to her chest, tears falling unhindered.

She wasn’t sure how her life would have turned out if she hadn’t met Tom in that pub. Or if she and James had managed to actually talk about their problems. If they hadn’t trusted Peter, which would have allowed them to stay safely hidden. So much could have gone different.

But what-if’s never did anyone any good, and so Lily gathered herself back together slowly. She had committed herself to doing the best she could to make sure Harry, her little miracle baby, would get to live the best life she could help him to get. Albus was dead, and Moody was ruining the Order of the Phoenix, turning away more and more from what the original goals had been. She was learning more and more about why it might be a good idea not to turn away from all old traditions, as so many proclaiming themselves the allies of Muggle-born witches and wizards wanted to do.

Tom was winning, Moody wasn’t an alternative, and there was a great need for reform in wizarding Britain.

With the plan to go to Gringotts the next day to sort out all that finance stuff she had ignored so far, Lily went to bed, taking a dose of dreamless sleep, after checking in with Tom, who agreed to keep an eye – or rather a monitoring charm – on Harry for the night. Lily hadn’t bothered hiding her red eyes from him, and he hadn’t commented, but she knew he had seen. Being an adult was much more complicated than Lily ever had thought possible when she had been thirteen.

And the fact that she felt her path was set, regardless of what her translation would bring to light, wasn’t doing anything to improve her mood any. She guessed that sometimes there was no ideal choice… or rather, there was never a path without its downsides if one wasn’t ignoring stuff on purpose.

oooOOooo

“And this will work?” Lily looked sceptical while turning the bracelet Tom had given to her just a moment ago over in her hand.

“I’ve created it myself. The bracelet and the runic array. It will make sure that no one can identify you.” Tom felt a little insulted that Lily didn’t trust his work. He was sure that it would work exactly as he had planned. No one who didn’t already know who she was would be able to identify her even while standing right next to her.

In fact Tom was rather proud of his work. As they needed specific functionality, the already existing spells wouldn’t have done. All standard spells used to conceal identities did this without exception. But Harry needed to know that his mom was there with him to feel safe. So Tom had come up with this one to solve the problem they had been faced with.

“But have you tested it before?” Lily looked up to meet his eyes, and the challenge was clear in her eyes.

“Not in a large setting. But it will not hurt you, and the theory is sound.” Tom bounced a little in place to entertain Harry who was sitting on his hip, snake toy tightly clutched in his little hand.

Tom could clearly see that Lily wasn’t impressed. “You know that this is not the proper way to test new enchantments or spells, don’t you? Even Severus at fifteen, when he started developing his own spells, was more thorough than this!”

Tom took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Which is why, now that we’ll have an opportunity to test beyond what I already did test, I made sure to invite Severus to be here sooner than the Healer, so we can test if he will be able to recognize you while you’re wearing the bracelet.” Maybe he should have included Lily a bit more in the planning of this.

“Well,” Lily said carefully winding the bracelet around her wrist with her other hand, “Then let’s see if this works as you planned it to.”

“You need to activate it with a drop of blood,” Tom instructed, adjusting his grip on Harry, as the toddler started to wiggle.

“You did explain that already, Tom.” She sounded exasperated but also fond, and she was right, he had explained how it worked. Not hesitating, Lily first made a small cut to smear a drop of blood on the rune that would activate the bracelet, and then quickly healed the small nick. While she did so, the rune-carved stones, beads, and bones the bracelet was made of made tinkling noises as they moved against each other.

The ripple of magic was almost visible in the air around Lily, at least for Tom. He always had been very sensitive to magic, and he had honed that talent, as it was very useful when one had to deal with intrigues and politics.

Harry giggled and reached for his mother. “Ma!” He let go of the snake plushy and gravity took over, leading to the toy’s falling to the floor with a soft “flump” sound.

“Come here, my little boy.” Lily smiled and took Harry from Tom, seamlessly passing toddler responsibility from one to the other. Lily looked at Tom, one brow drawn up. “So far it doesn’t look like my identity is concealed.”

“And it shouldn’t be for everyone who is in on the secret. Namely Harry and me. Now let’s wait for Severus and see if he can also recognize you.” Flicking his wrist, Tom checked the time. “He should be here any moment now.”

While they waited, the three of them settled down in the living room they used most often when they spent their afternoons and evenings together. Harry’s toys littered the floor, the room had started to look much more lived in since Lily and Harry had moved in. They agreed that Lily would not say anything before Severus talked to her, so they would know if the concealing magic worked.

It didn’t take long for Severus to arrive and for the elf to lead the man to where they were waiting.

In a smooth motion the dark haired Potions Master went down on one knee, bowing his head in greeting. “My Lord.” Tom had seen the eyes of his spy flick to where Lily was sitting on a loveseat entertaining Harry.

“Severus,” Tom nodded, indicating with a small movement of his hand that the other man should rise. “I trust that you have brought the potion.”

“I did indeed, my Lord,” Severus answered with another incline of his head, while rising back to his feet. In the next moment he reached into his outer robes and pulled out a small crystal phial filled with a brightly coloured fluid, glittering inside.

While he set the phial down on the table his eyes searched the room, lingering on the door leading outside into the garden, and on the disguised Lily. Tom was pretty sure that Severus was searching for his best friend, but didn’t dare ask for her whereabouts, as Severus had to assume that there was a stranger in the room with them. Or at least it looked that way to Tom.

For a moment he entertained the thought of letting the man stew, but did cast it aside quickly. Lily needed the proof that the bracelet was working before the Healer arrived.

“Is there something you want to ask, Severus?” For the briefest flicker of a moment the other wizard tensed, before relaxing again. Tom felt a short surge of joy that he had managed to read Severus Snape, Master Occlumens, correctly, and he had noticed as well.

“I was wondering where your son’s mother might be, my Lord,” Severus asked, now that he had been prompted, keeping a respectful tone and stance.

Tom didn’t answer the question, but turned to Lily, smirking. “See, I told you it would work, Lily.”

She rolled her eyes at him, clearly unimpressed by his preening. “Stop being so smug. No one likes a braggart.”

Severus looked back and forth between them, clearly confused. Until his eyes fixed on Lily, brow furrowed in concentration. “Lily? Is that you?”

Lily turned, changing her grip on Harry to prevent him from falling, and nodded. “Yes, it’s me.”

It was great seeing Severus’ eyes going wide in surprise. “What spell was that? I don’t know of any that would fall like that!”

“Thank you, Severus. It’s always nice to see one’s work being appreciated,” Tom said, shocking the young wizard back into a more respectable expression.

“Of course, my Lord.” It was almost like watching someone dress, the way Severus built his composure back up. In a few years, if he kept working at it, Severus would appear unshakeable to anyone who didn’t know him well. “Do you want me to administer the potion now, my Lord?”

“We’re waiting for Healer Greengrass to arrive. I told her to be here a while after you arrived, Severus. Because she will not be informed of Lily’s identity,” Tom explained, because he hadn’t done so before. To make sure the test of the bracelet would work out, Severus couldn’t have known that Lily would be in disguise, and he would have wondered why the Healer wasn’t already there.

“Aren’t the Greengrasses neutral?” Lily asked, Harry standing on her legs, bouncing up and down with obvious delight.

“Most of them are,” Tom agreed. “Or try to be. But it’s one of the bigger families left. Two generations ago there were four brothers. And they all married, to later have at least two children each.” The Greengrasses were one of those families Tom suspected had kept up the tradition of regularly getting “fresh blood” into their family tree, either by adopting so-called muggle-born children, or searching them out as partners and hiding it successfully. “Septima Greengrass is from a lesser branch of the family tree and not happy with her father’s plan to marry her off as profitably as he can manage. She has managed to get him to agree to allow her to finish her education, and came to me asking for help to avoid her father’s plan for her.” He shrugged. “She’s good, and I do need a Healer I can trust.”

Lily snorted and set Harry down as the little boy clearly wanted. “Sure. Isn’t it interesting how prevalent those patriarchal structures are even here in our oh-so-different and better magical society?”

Tom sighed. “There are a lot of places where things could be better than they are right now. But as with others, this one will need time for us to change anything.” Lily rolled her eyes, but shrugged with one shoulder. She clearly wasn’t happy, but she was too intelligent not to know of the limitations in the flexibility and ability to adapt in the magical society.

Severus was standing between them rather awkwardly and started to look rather unhappy when Harry reached him, and took a firm grip on the man’s robes, pulling while looking up along the long body. “‘rus! ‘rus!”

Lily chuckled, which led to Severus shooting her a betrayed look. Tom didn’t try to suppress his grin. “I think he likes you and wants to take advantage of your height, Severus.”

“Pick him up, Severus, he won’t just give up if you ignore him.” Lily sounded really amused, and Tom felt thoroughly entertained by the pained look on the Potions Master’s face. Poor man, forced by his friend and his Lord to interact with a toddler.

In the end Severus bent down to pick up Harry, who laughed in delight, waving at both of his parents. Tom dutifully waved back, sure that he had a silly smile on his face.

Then there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” Tom called out and watched as Severus and Lily turned so they too could see who was being led in by the elf.

Her pale eyes – Tom never was quite sure if he should call them blue or grey – swept the room, taking everything in, while she went to her knees before him in a proper greeting. “My Lord.”

“Septima, welcome. Please take a seat.” Tom waved her over to one seat and stood to take Harry from Severus, indicating with a small nod that Severus should sit down right next to the healer, while he himself walked over to sit with Lily.

Harry settled right in between Lily and Tom, eyeing the stranger cautiously from safety.

“Before we begin, I think you’ll need more information, Septima.” He hadn’t told her much when he had set up this meeting. And that usually was enough, but today was not a usual appointment. “I asked you to come here today, first to check my son’s health and progress, and secondly, to oversee the administration of a potion Severus has brewed for my son to take.”

Lily had agreed – reluctantly – to be a silent observer, so she didn’t object to his taking the lead. She usually was a mother lion, fiercely guarding Harry’s wellbeing. For one thing, she insisted that two adults were present if Harry was to use his toy broom.

“What potion, my Lord?” Tom knew why he had chosen her from his followers with a healer’s education, despite her youth. She wasn’t spooked by much, and was much more open-minded then the others he could have chosen.

“One that is designed to reverse the effects of that potion witches take to make a child resemble another than the actual father.” It was kind of puzzling that the potion didn’t have a name. Usually potioneers were all for naming their inventions.

At that her eyebrows went up in surprise. Then she carefully posed a question, sitting tensely next to an equally tense Severus. “Might I ask some questions?”

“Go ahead,” Tom nodded.

He was surprised when Septima turned to Lily to ask her question. Only the fact that he had trained to hide his emotions when need be prevented his surprise from showing. And just like that their plan for him to speak and Lily just to observe was shattered.

“When was your son born?” The Healer conjured a floating piece of parchment with a quill that started to make notes right away.

“End of July, 1980,” Lily answered, ignoring Harry, who was playing with the bracelet on her arm.

“So he’s not two yet,” Septima stated, to which Lily only nodded. “When was he last checked by a healer? And did he get all the recommended vaccinations?”

“He got the vaccination potion for dragon pox, but nothing else. And he hasn’t been checked by a Healer since a few days after he was born.” Tom had known that the Potter family had gone into hiding relatively soon after Harry had been born. But until now, he hadn’t really thought about what the consequences of that had been.

The quill scratched out more notes, and Septima didn’t react in any visible way to the hints being dropped. “May I cast a few diagnostic charms at your son?”

Lily nodded. “Yes. Do I need to do anything specific?”

“No need.” Septima proceeded to walk over to where Lily and Harry and Tom were sitting, lowering herself to sit down on the floor, smiling at the toddler still sitting between them. “Hello, Harry.” She waved, and after a moment Harry waved back, half hidden behind the fabric of the robes Tom and Lily were wearing. “Look here, do you like bright lights?”

It didn’t take long for Septima to cast the diagnostics she wanted to take. And Tom did notice that she used different spells than he ever had seen any healer use. When she was checking up on him – regularly as he wanted to make sure he would not be killed by any preventable illness – she wasn’t using spells that glowed quite that cheerfully.

“Are those special diagnostic charms for children?” Lily asked when Septima checked on something the quill had written down, leading to a longer break in her spellcasting.

“They are,” Septima answered, with a small nod, eyes trained on the notes taken. “Not in the way they work, but in the way they look and affect the person they are cast on. No tingling, or uncomfortable feelings, bright colours to entertain and distract. I learned them from a specialist because I remember vividly how afraid I was of healers when I was a small child.”

Just a few more spells later, Septima stood again, notes in hand, and took a few steps back. “All seems to be well. He’s healthy and well within what one would expect of a little boy his age. Currently he has a slight tendency to myopia, but such could be caused by the _convenient_ potion and vanish once the effect is reversed.”

Tom felt relieved that Harry was healthy, and surprised that the potion seemed to have a name after all.

“The _convenient_ potion?” Lily’s words dripped with scepticism.

Septima shrugged. “That’s how women in my family refer to it, if they mention it at all. But I know that it’s more widely used than those using it are willing to admit. Some witches planning to use it go as far as searching out several men of similar looks to their husbands to make sure they don’t know who the actual father is. Which brings me to the next set of questions.“ Septima turned to concentrate on Lily, almost turning her back on Tom. She was braver than he would have thought a Hufflepuff would be.

Lily didn’t wait for the question to be posed, but answered what Tom would have guessed would be the next question, with more force than would be considered polite. “I’m quite sure he,” here she waved a hand in Tom’s direction without looking, “is the father. Beside my late husband, who was infertile, and him,“ another wave, ”I was with no other man during that time.” Tom’s eyes moved through the room, trying to not think about Lily with other men, and realised that Severus was paler than usual and probably wishing to melt into the cushions of the loveseat he was sitting on.

“He is a Parselmouth as well. Which is not one of those gifts that jump generations,” Tom threw in, not wishing to linger on this particular topic. “A paternity charm I learned in South America also confirmed it.”

Now three sets of eyes were fixed on Tom.

“Wouldn’t this potion be pointless if a paternity charm can reveal the actual father over the assumed one?” Lily asked what the others had on their minds as well.

“Oh, it was not any old paternity charm. In fact, on British soil, the spell I used would be considered dark magic. Just as any other that can circumvent the _convenient_ potion would be. Interesting coincidence, isn’t it?” And it certainly was, in Tom’s opinion. How often specific spells, potions, magic were outlawed, not because they were dangerous in some way, but because they were inconvenient to the ruling classes.

“Well then, I do know half of the medical family history of the little darling here. Only the mother’s side of the family is left to ask about,” Septima stated, taking Tom’s revelation in stride.

Lily hurried to answer that set of questions as well, starting out with what she probably thought to be the biggest revelation. “As I’m the first witch in my family, there isn’t any magical medical history to be spoken off. If you need any more information, I can try to answer those questions later. Or are those answers of importance for the purpose of our meeting? Harry is getting restless, and I would rather not draw this out any more.”

“No, they are not,” Septima conceded, making the way free for Severus with the potion in hand.

It wasn’t hard to get Harry to take the potion. It did smell sweet enough to be among those potions that actually did tasted good. And the hour after that was spent trying to soothe and distract a cranky toddler. It felt similar to the nights when Harry was teething. Hellish torture of not being able to help his son effectively, while knowing that the result was worth it, somehow.

It was late, Severus and Septima long gone, when Tom found himself wandering down the corridor that led to Harry’s room. Lily was there as well, standing next to the small bed with its railing, looking down on their son.

Tom walked in, not trying to remain unnoticed, coming to a stop right next to Lily. “He doesn’t look all that different, does he?”

“I think his hair might be a bit tamer, less wavy. And a little darker?” Lily murmured, her eyes trained on the sleeping boy.

“I’m happy that he has kept your eyes,” Tom stated, feeling Lily’s warmth on his arm, they were standing that close.

“It’s not really a surprise that the changes are not all that visible. That’s why the reversing potion needs to be taken while the child is still young.” Lily sighed. “I guess he’ll start to resemble you a little more when he gets older.”

“That’s likely,” Tom murmured. “Good night, Lily.” He lingered a moment longer but finally went to bed. Tomorrow he would have a lot of work to do, and he had a playdate to organize now that they knew the bracelet was working as intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing those letters wasn’t easy. I’m not sure if the one from Alice or the one from James was harder. Probably the one from Alice, because I had to cut it short. No way would I have been able to make a rambling guilt trip read interesting.  
> First published 2nd of August 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	17. Chapter 20 - Play Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I wanted it to, but life happens.

“I think we do have everything,” Tom stated while closing the bag holding everything one could possibly need while not at home and also responsible for a toddler. Without an expansion charm on it, the bag would have had to be much bigger than it was. It was astounding how many things such a small human needed.

“You’re sure?” Lily asked from the other end of the room where she was dressing Harry in a new set of clothes, bracelet already clasped around her wrist.

“Yes,” Tom nodded, swinging the bag over one shoulder and starting to recite everything that was stored in its depths. “Teething potion, two sets of clothes, several diapers, a few bibs, his favourite blanket…” He trailed off, sure Lily got the point. “And a few snacks.” He was feeling decidedly uncomfortable. Determined to offer his son the opportunity to make friends but at the same time not all that willing to open himself up to others like this. Sadly, there really wasn’t much of an alternative.

“That probably is all,” Lily conceded, settling Harry on her hip and turning to look at Tom. “And now we probably should settle on what you’re going to call me. And what we’ll call Harry.”

Tom felt his brows wing up, not really surprised Lily didn’t want to reveal herself yet, but surprised that she would admit to it so bluntly. “I had planned to simply not use any name for you.” It should be easy enough to call her the mother of his son, dear, or something like that. “But I hadn’t really considered Harry’s name… there aren’t many wizards his age, are there?”

Tom rubbed a hand across his forehead. He had known he had been missing something.

“No, not enough that people wouldn’t be able to deduce who he is known as. But I don’t think using a different name will work out for him?” Lily said, nodding and looking as lost as Tom felt. “We should have thought of this sooner, shouldn’t we?”

“You haven’t decided yet?” Tom asked, “What you want to do in the long run,” he qualified.

Lily took a deep breath, then shrugged, and made a face. “I feel as if I’m pretty committed already. But not really… convinced? If you know what I mean? I’m not sure it’s a good idea to declare openly who I am and our connection through Harry just yet.”

Tom hummed, thinking up alternatives and casting them aside quickly. But nothing suitable came to mind.

“How about this,” Lily finally said, walking over to stand next to Tom, “for today we avoid using his name and come up with another name that can be shortened to Harry for the next time we meet others.” She seemed unsure, and Tom felt that might become the theme of the day.

“I also can make them sign a secrecy contract, just like the Healer,” he suggested as an alternative. Lily gave him a look for that, which he didn’t fully understand – maybe she thought he should trust his healer without such measures – so he felt compelled to explain himself. “It’s standard procedure for private healers to sign such contracts. And as she actually knows all about who my parents were and everything else there is to know, I feel a lot better that the magic of that contract makes sure she can’t be forced to give away such information against her will.”

Lily huffed, conceding the point with a short nod, and started to walk towards the floo room.

It didn’t feel right to Tom, not having this planned out correctly and in all details before going on with the day, but he had a feeling that this would be the new normal, sharing so much of his life with a Gryffindor witch.

They reached the floo room, where the wards would allow their departure, and Tom held out the portkey for Lily to grasp, and the three of them were off.

The next place they got to see was the lavishly decorated arrival room in Malfoy Manor, where the future Lord and Lady of the house were already waiting for them.

And as was proper protocol, they both went to kneel before him, bowing their heads. “Welcome to our home, my Lord,” Lucius greeted him.

“Thank you, Narcissa, Lucius. I hope your father is well?” Tom asked, adjusting the bag on his shoulder, while stuffing the portkey back into his robe pocket.

“Thank you, my Lord. He is well and currently keeping an eye on Draco,” Lucius answered and then rose, when Tom impatiently – and keeping himself from rolling his eyes – waved for them to do so. He had asked them to keep the formalities down for this afternoon. This was about their children playing together, not his own ego. He might still be in need of getting used to this fact himself, but that didn’t excuse his followers’ learning slowly.

The walk from where they had arrived to the room that had been set up for the playdate was longer than it should have been, and awkward. This was going to be a very long afternoon.

He realized too late that it was his duty to introduce everyone. Taking a deep breath and starting to occlude more actively, Tom worked on getting his temper in check. He needed to be calmer. He tended to get violent when he felt out of his depth and knew people were able to see.

The room they arrived at certainly wasn’t the normal playroom of the toddler sitting on a big blanket on the floor, an elf hovering near by. There were way too many old paintings on the walls and antiques standing on side tables for this to be a room where a toddler played regularly.

“Tom! Welcome!” Abraxas greeted rising from the love seat he had been sitting on. “Who is that little baby?” In a way it was nice that Abraxas had started to treat him more normally again, but sometimes – especially while he already felt out of his depth – it got on his nerves.

“This,” Tom waved at Lily holding Harry, who looked around with curiosity clear in his green eyes, “is my son, and his mother.” He then turned to Lily, addressing her. “And these are my old school friend, Abraxas Malfoy, his son Lucius, and little Draco’s mother Narcissa.” Lily nodded to each of them as Tom indicated them, and the tension in the room only continued to rise from second to second.

“Won’t you set your son down on the blanket? Mopsy is a very competent nanny elf and will take great care of both boys,” Narcissa finally broke the silence, valiantly trying to show a warm cheerful smile.

While Lily did as the other witch had suggested, Tom placed the bag on one of the side tables where it would be out of the way of curious toddlers exploring. Before Tom could turn fully to see how he could salvage this afternoon, Harry was calling out “Da! Pay!”

Habit let Tom turn back to his son before he had thought about it. “Pay!” One short arm was extended in Tom’s direction, intention, no, demand clear to everyone.

And Tom hesitated. Could he sit there, on the floor, playing with his son, stacking blocks, while three of his followers were there to see it?

 **.:Come play with me:.** Harry didn’t use parseltongue all that often, but when he did his meaning was a lot clearer than when he tried to speak English. Something Tom hadn’t known about the language he and his son shared. Had he been speaking Parseltongue that early as well?

And suddenly the decision was very easy to make. **.:Of course I’ll play with you:.** Tom felt a smile curve his lips and he turned towards the others, not paying attention to some gobsmacked looks. “I’m sure you will be able to have a civil conversation over tea without me. My son wants to spend time with me.” All the Malfoys nodded, clearly unable to form words just now, but Lily only smiled a knowing smile.

Used to playing with his son, Tom quickly cast a cushioning charm for himself to sit on, before gracefully settling down on the blanket spread out over a carpet that looked very expensive. There were some blocks to stack, some stuffed animals – a dragon, a unicorn, a pegasus, a niffler, and what looked like a badly mauled cat – a miniature cauldron with a bunch of carved ingredients, and a ball that looked to be imitating a quaffle.

Harry picked up one of the blocks and handed it to Tom in their most practised game of Tom stacking up the blocks so Harry could topple the tower. The white-blond boy, who had to be Draco, watched the both of them seeming a little unsure from where he was sitting next to the elf.

Sitting with his back to the other adults, concentrating all his attention on the two boys in front of him, Tom felt he had a decent chance of listening in on some unguarded conversation. Or maybe at least a little less guarded.

“How do you take your tea?” Narcissa asked and after Lily’s polite answer, went around the table to pour each of them a cup. Another moment of silence – most awkward still – fell over the people sharing tea, and Tom was happy to have escaped this through Harry’s timely intervention. The first tower of the day, all of six blocks tall, was pushed over, accompanied by Harry’s giggling and big eyes from Draco, who slowly moved to crawl closer.

“How old is your son?” Narcissa asked, once again trying to start a conversation.

“He’ll be in the same year as yours at Hogwarts,” Lily answered. “Those shortbreads are very good.”

“I’m sure our elf can provide yours with the recipe for them.” Narcissa sounded more relaxed, and Draco was now crawling over to pick up and clutch the cat toy to his chest.

Slowly the atmosphere lost its tension. Lucius started to discuss some possible candidates for assistant positions in the Minister’s office with his father while Narcissa inquired after Lily’s activities beside caring for her child. She herself professed her hope to be able to return to more socialising once Draco was weaned and she was once again able to leave the Manor. And Tom continued to entertain both little boys, conjuring some lights wandlessly, letting some of the toys float and everything else he had learned that usually made Harry laugh.

“Currently I spend a lot of my time translating old texts,” Lily answered one of Narcissa’s questions. “It’s interesting and boring at the same time. Most of it is administrative, but from time to time there is an interesting private letter among the sources.” It was an interesting experience to be in a room with his followers and not be the middle of attention. “What’s your favourite activity?”

“Organizing events, parties, balls. Letting it look effortless and easy, but making them as elaborate as I possibly can.”

By now both boys were sitting more or less on Tom, using him as a climbing help from time to time. Currently Draco was trying to place a dragon toy onto Tom’s head, both feet balancing on his thigh with one hand on Tom’s shoulder.

Then the small boy slipped, gravity and fine woolen cloth working against Tom, ending with Tom catching Draco before he could fall onto the wooden blocks and sharply breathing out through clenched teeth. He certainly would remember to place some charms on himself as protection when he next allowed a child to climb on him.

When the pain receded Tom noticed that it had gone eerily silent behind him. “Are you alright, Draco?” Tom asked the toddler in his arm, setting him down carefully. “Slipping happens really easily if one wears only socks.” Draco nodded, and turned to fall onto all fours crawling over to where the blocks lay about.

“It is a little surprising what a natural he seems to be with children. One wouldn’t think that without seeing it,” Lily said, breaking the tension behind where Tom placed a small shield-like charm so errant feet or toys wouldn’t hurt him again.

Narcissa was the first to recover. “He surely seems to have practice with entertaining your son.” There was a lot of curiosity in her cultured voice, but before she could ask whatever questions were on her mind, the doors opened and two sets of steps entered the room.

“Mr. and Mrs. Lestrange for Mistress,” an elf announced and Tom carefully turned around at the hip to have a look at Bellatrix and her husband.

He hadn’t planned for Lily to interact with anyone but the Malfoys today. This right here was a volatile mixture.

“Sister! Why do I always need to visit you unannounced? Can’t you invite your older sister from time to time?” Bellatrix was her usual exuberant self, prancing into the room with flowing robes, ignoring Tom and embracing her sister.

So Tom decided – prompted by Harry pulling on his sleeve – to ignore the newcomers as well and play with the boys.

It was fun, and why shouldn’t he enjoy himself?

He didn’t pay much attention to the conversation going on, as he watched Harry summon the snake out of the bag to his hands and proceed to almost eat it, until Bellatrix’s tone changed notably.

“Wearing a disguise. I’m curious what you’re hiding under that! Wouldn’t it be too funny if you were a light witch blood-traitor, or even a mudblood?” There was venom in her voice, barely covered by a thin veneer of false cheeriness.

Tom felt his anger rise and automatically strengthened his occlumency shields. He couldn’t risk loosing his temper in front of those two little boys. Fully turning around, Tom fixed Bella with a sharp look, a dangerous smile on his face. “Be happy that I will not punish you here and now as you rightfully deserve for this slight to our cause. But your nephew and my son are much too young to understand why you would be screaming yourself hoarse. It would only frighten them. You know I have a long memory, so no worries.” Bella paling was a clear sign his reprimand had arrived.

But he needed to make sure that she and the others present were reminded of what exactly the problem was. “Bella, tell me, what do the families calling themselves light cherish and welcome that your family hasn’t in a long time?”

Bella almost looked like a sullen child, pouting over not being allowed to eat a chocolate frog, but she answered. “Muggle-borns.”

“That is right.” Tom said, slowly, clearly enunciating each word. “Your family and many other, so-called dark, families honour magic by following the traditions, celebrating the festivals. Yet you all shun the biggest gift Magic gives us to keep our small population healthy.” Lily was listening intently, one brow winged up. This was the first time she’d heard this directly how he had changed his rhetoric now that he had the old bigoted families under his thumb. And after he had realised why Magic allowed magicals to be born to muggles.

“My son’s mother is in disguise for both their protection. Who she is and where she came from is none of your concern. And if she is one of the newly gifted, then that would be fortunate for me and my son. In more ways than one.”

He knew that it would take a long time until the most stubborn blood supremacists would agree with him. If such was even possible. It would probably take several generations until the changes he had started would make it into their culture and permeate their society as the prejudices did right now.

Suddenly he was very tired.

 **.:Daddy, want to go home?:.** Harry suddenly asked, his head – topped with now considerably less stubborn curls – resting on Tom’s arm.

 **.:Yes I want to go home. What about you? Do you want to stay? You and Draco could play a little more:.** Now even Bellatrix would be unable to claim that his little boy was anyone but his son and a wizard.

 **.:You hurt. Dark Lady makes you angry. Home:.** Harry was a perceptive boy for his age.

“What do you think, Rose. Do we want to go home?” Tom asked Lily, dropping the threatening face. Too late he realised that they had not agreed on this name to be used. He was truly tired when he started to slip up like that.

“It looks as if the boys are getting tired.” Somehow Tom felt as if Lily had included him very firmly in that group. “Thank you, Narcissa, for a very lovely afternoon. We should repeat this. Lord Malfoy, Minister, it was nice meeting you. Mr. and Mrs. Lestrange, it certainly was a surprise seeing you here today.” Lily was polite but not deferential, making Tom feel proud of her. If only she could stand at his side openly without hiding.

It took only a few waves of his wand to gather everything they had brought and pack it back into the bag. And before much more time had passed they were back home.

“That was enlightening. Will you put Harry to bed?”

Tom nodded. “I will. You can take a long bath and relax a little. You really think it’s a good idea to repeat this?”

“As long as I get to see the faces of several Slytherins losing all composure again? Absolutely.”

oooOOooo

Lily accepted the portkey on a chain as well as the small warding stone from Tom. One she slipped into her pocket, the other she slung around her neck, before slipping the pendant under her clothes.

“Want to cast a bunch of warding spells and protective charms too?” she teased Tom, who gave her a playful glare.

“You’re meeting with a fully trained wizard, member of the Order of the Phoenix, and werewolf. Excuse me for being concerned for your safety. You’re a good duelist and powerful witch, but what if the whole Order should turn up? Everyone would be in trouble that severely outnumbered.” Tom nodded solemnly, which Harry copied, looking extremely cute.

“I’ll be careful and should be back well before Harry needs to go to bed.” Lily took the one step closer to give Harry a peck on the cheek, turned to do the same to Tom, and froze, eyes going wide before her lips could make contact.

Tom flushed, blinking rapidly, and started to walk backwards towards the playroom. Lily felt heat in her own cheeks, and cleared her throat. “I’ll be back soon. Have fun, but make sure that the house is still standing when I get back.”

“Don’t worry about us,” Tom answered, sounding flustered. “The elves will make sure we don’t cause too much damage.”

The time Lily spent in front of the mirror changing her appearance as an added security measure was needed to get her feelings back under control and that inexplicable slip out of her mind.

Remus was standing in front of the little tea room they had agreed to meet in, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. He had tried to conceal his identity and while he was a lot better at blending in with muggles than most wizards, he hadn’t managed to change his mannerisms. Which gave him away to anyone who knew him.

The light copper shimmer and waves he had added to his hair, as well as the slightly healthier, if still pale, complexion speckled with freckles, wasn’t going to be enough if he still walked the same and used the same motion to secure his hair behind his ear.

Sighing and shaking her head, Lily walked over, pleased to see that her disguise was much better than Remus’ was. He saw her but kept looking around, clearly not recognising her.

“Are you sure you weren’t followed?” she asked him, while walking past him, stopping right next to a window and peering in.

“Lily?” he sounded surprised and spoke louder than he should have, before he got a hold on himself. “I’m sure.”

With the portkey around her neck, Lily was sure to get away even in the case that Remus was mistaken, so she nodded and went to open the door and go in without waiting for Remus.

She wasn’t sure if he still was her friend, but she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. If she could give Voldemort the opportunity to explain himself, someone she had called a good friend once should be entitled to the same.

She was seated and had ordered a piece of cake as well as a tea service for two before Remus came to join her at the table she had chosen.

“Thank you for meeting with me, Lily.” Remus rubbed his hand over his neck, bending his head forward, looking down onto the tablecloth. “I know there’s no insignificant risk doing so.” He huffed, clearly struggling with how to voice his request for help.

Deciding that she did not have the patience to play twenty questions and beating around the bush all afternoon, Lily got out the little ward stone Tom had given her and placed it on the table between them. “Now we’ll be able to hold a private conversation without being interrupted.” She had had a really nice afternoon examining the rune work on the stone to get behind how it managed to erect a small privacy ward around a table just by being exposed to light. Tom had been preening from the floor the whole time while keeping Harry entertained. He was a really imaginative inventor, but terribly smug about it.

And still Remus didn’t start to speak. After two more sips from her tea and a bite from her cake, Lily decided to lead this conversation if Remus was neither willing nor able to.

“I guess the situation the Order is in hasn’t improved any. Making your own position more precarious as well.” She had seen the Prophet and had heard from Tom what the newspaper either didn’t know to print, didn’t dare print, or was forbidden to print by the Ministry. “I assume you’re still not considering joining one of the packs here in Britain?”

Remus shook his head, making an unhappy face, while pouring himself a cup of tea of his own. “No, I really can’t stomach the thought of interacting with Fenrir in anything but fighting conditions. And you and I both know that that would be necessary if I joined a British pack.”

Lily hummed and nodded. She certainly could understand that. “And leaving for Europe? Maybe Scandinavia? You know that you could just leave this all behind. It’s not as if either side of this conflict, or anyone else, has your needs anywhere near the top of their agenda.”

And again Remus shook his head. “I can’t leave Sirius alone like that. One friend killed, one a traitor, his whole family upset with him. It would be a blow to him if I also left.”

Lily couldn’t help herself, she snorted. “How do you think this is going to work then? Get away from the Order, but don’t cut ties with Sirius? I don’t think that’s possible. And why should Andromeda be upset with him?” There was no question why his other cousins, his brother, or his parents would be upset with Sirius. But Andromeda had cut ties with the rest of the Blacks after she had married a muggleborn wizard. Which Tom had ranted about not so many days ago. The child those two had was a confirmed metamorphmagus, which Tom had taken to mean that the old families’ exclusion of those newly gifted by Magic – a new term he had started using – was one of the reasons they were having more and more Squib children and were losing the old, powerful talents. He had told Lily that he had instructed all of the Blacks to reach out to Andromeda and no longer exclude her or her husband from family events.

Remus blushed, which made Lily equally curious and suspicious, and rubbed one hand over his face before he started to speak. “He ranted about you not asking him to help, where she could hear. Moody was trying to recruit her as a healer…” Remus trailed off, and Lily didn’t need to ask what Sirius had expected her to ask for help for.

“How many more people did he tell?” Her voice had gone pretty low, and she didn’t care that her anger was probably visible on her face. The whole concept of that potion, and the careless disregard of the mother-to-be’s wishes was getting on her nerves.

Remus looked surprised but hurried to answer her. “Only Sirius, I think. You know they had been in a skirmish together that spring. James had been hit by a curse and they hadn’t been sure if Sirius had managed the counter in time to prevent… well. The healer informed James that he was infertile, but that it had not been caused by the curse… and as you already were pregnant by then, they figured that James couldn’t have been the father.”

When Remus paled suddenly and drastically, Lily took a deep breath, picked up her teacup – needing to steady her hands to prevent it from spilling tea all over her cake – and increased her efforts to control her emotions via Occlumency. “And how is it that you now know?”

“Well,” taking another sip of his tea, Remus pondered his answer, and sighed, “the night after you left Potter Manor, Sirius got into the liquor cabinet and got pissed. While I was helping him back home he started to ramble. How he thought you had asked Severus Snape, and how you should have come to Sirius instead. That you were going to change sides. Maybe already had…”

The absurdity of Sirius believing that she would ask Severus to have a child with her... Lily slowly shook her head. “What utter nonsense. There never was anything remotely romantic between Severus and me. We’re more like siblings than anything.” If Sirius had suspected connections between her and anyone associated with Death Eaters, it was no wonder the Order had started to behave so oddly around that time. “Does he even realize that he should have talked with me about this? Does anyone from the Order even suspect that their behaviour is chasing away their supporters?”

Now it was Remus who snorted, leaning forward so his elbows were resting on the table. “I’m not sure. If there is anyone, they certainly don’t speak up.” For a moment they sat in silence. “Can you help me? Maybe there’s a spare room where you’re hiding? I can help with looking after Harry, do the dishes or the laundry.” Remus always had had a talent for the kicked-puppy look, Lily was certain that look was part of the reason James and his friends had been able to get away with as many pranks as they had.

“You can’t live where Harry and I are staying. It’s not my house, and the owner is unlikely to allow any member of the Order to live there with us.” Tom never would let anyone else move in. And regardless of how much her view of him and who he was had changed, she also had learned how private a man he was. “Why not leave Britain, Remus? Only because Sirius is unable to move on? You clearly can’t stay in an Order with Moody deciding everything, and you clearly will not consider switching sides. I don’t think going neutral will work out either. Neither side will leave you be.”

“Are you neutral, Lily?” Remus suddenly asked, eyes switching from pleading to intense in the fraction of a second.

“How would you define neutral?” Lily asked, but didn’t wait for him to answer. “I don’t work for the Order, nor for anyone else. My son is my most important concern. I’ll do what’s necessary to make sure he’s safe.” There really wasn’t more to say, and definitely nothing more Remus was entitled to know. “Sirius should be able to understand and help you, if you’re willing to risk so much for him.” Remus’ inability to prioritise his own wellbeing had been a source of frustration for Lily for a long time. “You need to prioritise your own needs for once!”

Now Remus leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, fingers drumming on his arm. “I don’t have the money to travel by muggle means. I might be able to apparate across the Channel, but the rumours are that the Death Eaters already have a foothold there. A portkey to get farther away without having to apparate in many short hops to places I have never been before… you know that the regulations have been tightened down? There was a warning that there might be wards up… I can’t risk it.”

Lily huffed. “I might be able to organize a portkey for you. Somewhere far away even. Russia? East Asia somewhere? But there’s nothing else I can do. If you insist on staying here, you’ll have to find a spot to hide on your own.”

They didn’t stay much longer after that and Lily paid before they went their separate ways.

The moment she stepped into the living room she smiled at what she saw. Tom and Harry were both on the floor, stacking blocks on top of each other, hissing. That had increased over the last weeks. Harry was speaking more, and hissing a lot at Tom whenever the two were together.

“Lily! Welcome home.” Tom greeted her, and Harry turned, moved from sitting to all fours before standing up, raising his arms and hissing at her. “He wants you to pick him up and cuddle.”

“He isn’t even two yet. How is it possible for him to know this many words?” Lily bend down to pick up her little boy, throwing Tom a suspicious look. “Or are you embellishing while translating?”

Tom laughed, leaning back on his hands, his legs stretched out before him. “I’m not embellishing. But Parseltongue is a lot less structured than English, not much grammar, but many nuances about basic needs. It’s the language of serpents after all. And magically inherited.” He smiled up to them, Harry snuggling into Lily’s arms. “I don’t know a lot, but I suspect that it’s normal for a child to learn this language first if there is an adult around who can understand it as well.” There was a sadness in Tom’s voice that vanished quickly when they started talking about their respective afternoons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well… seems like I’m slipping into old habits of long chapters. I really wanted to keep the chapters shorter… I guess I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t need to pack so many things into one chapter and practice. That’s what I wanted to do with that “restriction” anyway.
> 
> I hope you all stay safe, look after yourself and your loved ones, and find some peace and quiet in my little story.
> 
> First published 14th of September 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	18. Chapter 21 - Rash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a chapter of “get away from the world for a time”

“The elves know how to make Harry’s afternoon meal. But we should be back before then.” Lily was checking if she had everything she needed in her shoulder bag while she was talking to Severus – who had Harry on his arm – walking towards the floo room.

They walked around Tom, who stood in front of the small altar in the hallway, eyes closed, lips moving silently – a few herbs were smouldering in an earthen dish – trying not to disturb him.

“Lily, don’t worry. I might not have a lot of experience with small children, but I certainly know how to ask the elves for help if I need to. And I’m able to contact the boy’s father if there is need. We’ll be fine.” Lily had to concede that Severus, while still very nervous around Tom, seemed confident in handling Harry, expertly moving in a swaying motion with Harry on his hip.

“And we’ll be quick.” Tom came up behind them, shrugging into a coat that would pass in Muggle London without problem, his hand briefly trailing along Lily’s back.

Tom hissed something at Harry, who waved at his father and hissed as well.

Lily smiled. The two of them were constantly communicating like this, Tom visibly delighted. And as Harry’s grasp on English was steadily improving as well, Lily wasn’t worried that he would have problems there because of the magical language he had been born with.

A short floo trip later the two of them were standing in a very muggle-looking living room in a very muggle-looking flat.

“The ward stone is in the kitchen, over here,” Tom said the moment he stepped out of the floo, striding in the direction of the door into the hall. “After that you can easily apparate to the Leaky, while I walk there.” He didn’t seem to mind, and as he was being Tom the Squib today, it was sensible to keep up the pretence.

“And while you pick up your new brewing supplies, I’ll try to find someone able to sell me wood, brushes, and mirrors in a quality I can actually work with.” Lily rolled her eyes and Tom chuckled. She had been ranting about the fall in quality provided by her usual supplier several times over the past week. Tom’s amusement was a much better reaction to her short temper whenever she worked on an order, than James’ usual reaction of dismissive disinterested every time one of her projects wasn’t going the way she wanted it to.

“Good luck,” Tom said with a smile.

“You too. Don’t haggle to much with poor Mr. Jiggers.”

Lily grinned when Tom made an innocent face. “Me? Haggling? Never.”

They parted ways laughing and in good spirits. Lily’s good mood held through her arrival in the Leaky Cauldron and her inquires in several shops that traded in raw materials and tools that were not potions-related. Those shops and offices attached to storage rooms were mostly located in offshoots of Diagon Alley, and so Lily heard the commotion before she could see anything.

Maybe she should have returned home, to Harry, but her need to make sure people were safe was stronger. Harry was safe with Severus, and had his father to care for him should something happen to her. But she was good, and had been training, so why should something happen?

With her wand in hand – placing her bag with samples and catalogues down against one wall – she carefully crept along one wall towards Diagon Alley and the sounds of people fleeing. People were hurrying into the narrow street and past Lily as she came to a table stacked with cauldrons, blocking her view of the street, but also providing her with some cover.

People in robes of red, orange, yellow – a flame pattern – stood surrounding a building which housed a bakery as far as Lily could remember. Some were facing the front of the shop, others were facing the street, guarding the backs of the others. They all were wearing masks, and the fact that they had a feather like texture and beaks, made Lily feel ill.

They were imitating a phoenix.

Why? Oh, why would they do this?

Moody truly had lost all connection with reality.

It looked as if the people facing the shop were trying to break down some wards. A few figures were on the ground, and spells were being fired at witches and wizards, even children. People were running away from the bakery, ducking behind merchandise presented on stands and tables in front of other shops along the street.

She spotted a witch with a girl, maybe seven years old, stuck between a wall, a stack of trunks, and the order members. Quickly looking up and down the street Lily decided that she could risk protecting two innocents in this madness.

She sprinted across the street, deflecting a stunner sent her way by one of the masked attackers with a hastily erected shield, and came to crouch near the witch and the child.

For a moment Lily felt like she was seeing things as the witch looked up from trying to calm down the child in her care. She looked a lot like Bellatrix Lestrange, if a little less prone to violence. The eyes of this witch were missing that mad sparkle Lily had seen there that afternoon at Malfoy Manor. Because if Bellatrix Lestrange had been here she certainly would have been fighting, not cowering behind insufficient cover, trying to calm down herself and protect a child. She had heard of the middle Black sister – Sirius and James had mentioned her – but never had had any real contact.

“Are you hurt?” Lily asked, turning her attention to the surrounding area so as not to be surprised by her former allies. Because if they had started using the same methods as the Death Eaters had done, than they could be nothing but _former_ allies.

“No, we’re fine.” the other witch answered, her voice low and rough.

Lily nodded. “I’ll shield you, while you try to get over to that book store over there.” She pointed at a store on the other side of the street and a little further in direction of the Leaky. “On three.” She got a nod, and the witch encouraged the little girl to get up from her knees while still keeping her head down.

“One.” Lily turned to have a good view of the attackers. “Two.” She prepared herself to cast a shield on a moment’s notice. “Three!” She felt and heard the two behind her get to their feed and run, getting up herself, casting a shield, and distracting the Order by drawing their attention to her.

Then suddenly several cracks announced the arrival of more people, deep red robes identifying the new arrivals as Aurors. Lily retreated towards the wall of the shop behind her, using the distraction provided to draw herself out of the fight, and to take a breath and look around.

The shop that had been attacked was indeed a bakery. Jona’s Delicious Baked Goods was looking quite cosy. The decoration inside the window looked similar to what Tom had put on his altar a few days ago, which probably was the reason the Order would attack a shop in Diagon Alley.

Before Lily had a chance to decide if she should leave or stay, a broad-shouldered figure in Auror robes came up to where she was standing, blocking her way. She looked at the Auror and was surprised to recognize Frank Longbottom. “Lily, long time no see. I assume you were a witness to what happened here? I’ll have to ask you to accompany me so I can take your statement.”

That didn’t sound right. The Order had fled, but Frank was part of them, so he probably would try erasing evidence. If Lily was to go with him she was more likely to wind up with the Order then in the Ministry.

“Frank, don’t you think it might be better to stay and help?” Lily stalled while her mind was racing.

All Members of the Order who were part of the Auror Corps – Sirius, Alice, Frank, Moody, and James while he was still alive – had intervened in favour of the Order, and always had speculated about Death Eaters among the Aurors. Was one of them here? Would they be able and willing to help her? And how in all worlds was this her life? If she didn’t know better she would be tempted to take Petunia’s opinion on infidelity a little more seriously. If she could manage to leave here on her own or make it to the Ministry with a neutral or at least non-Order Auror, she probably would be fine.

“No,” Frank answered, shaking his head. “There’s no reason for us to stay. Take my arm, I’ll apparate us over to the Ministry.” He tried to smile and seem friendly, but the tension in him was very obvious to Lily.

“Hey, Longbottom!” another Auror called, carefully stepping over some broken glass, and then inclining his head in Lily’s direction. “Mrs. Potter. I heard that you helped Mrs. Tonks and her daughter get out of a pinch today.”

Frank took a step back and looked as if someone had forced him to bite into a lemon. “Senior Auror Proudfoot.”

Maybe Lily’s life wasn’t cursed because of one night after all, this man was one of those the Order suspected of being a Death Eater. Maybe there was a way to get out of here unscathed.

“Senior Auror Proudfoot,” Lily greeted, slowly relaxing her stance, letting the arm of her wand hand hang at her side. “Mrs. Andromeda Tonks? Are she and her daughter unharmed?”

“They both are,” the wizard with crow’s feet around his eyes said. “If you’re agreeable, it would be good if you could go with Junior Auror Dawlish so he can write down what you’ve seen.” The older wizard turned towards Frank – both clearly not fond of each other. “Longbottom, you’re needed with cleanup and checking of the wards on the shop.” Frank nodded tersely and went to do as he was told.

And Lily did the same, accepting the young Auror’s arm followed by being side-apparated to the Ministry, walking along corridors in the building, before she sat down in a chair next to a desk right there in the middle of the big open-floor-plan office that was used by the Aurors.

Not far from her, Andromeda Tonks was giving her statement to another Auror, her daughter sitting on her lap.

It was not very thrilling to be here, and she really hadn’t much to say. She wanted to go home, but answered some preliminary questions anyway. “I first noticed that something was wrong when I heard the noise of people running away. I set my bag down…” She trailed off in shock. She had forgotten about her bag! “I didn’t go back to get my things.”

“You could send a house-elf to get it,” Auror Proudfoot suggested. “The Potters do have at least one, I would guess.”

Lily nodded and called the Potter elf to send it to collect her things. Before the elf was back, a small commotion at the entrance to the Auror office drew everyone’s attention. Lily felt her eyes go big the moment she recognized Bellatrix Lestrange striding into the room as if the world should bow to her, followed closely by the new Minister of Magic, Lucius Malfoy. Both Death Eaters – and wasn’t it strange how she knew and still was glad to see them – walked straight to where Andromeda Tonks was sitting, greeting her as if they were concerned.

Lily couldn’t help it, she stared. She had been under the impression that Andromeda, just like Sirius, had been cast out from the family.

“Mrs. Potter?” Auror Dawlish tried to gain her attention right before Lucius Malfoy looked up from where his two sisters-in-law were talking with each other, and their gazes met.

When he walked over, both she and the Auror got to their feet.

“Mrs. Potter, I hear that you were so kind as to help my sister-in-law and my niece today. Let me express my sincere thanks for that.” And it seemed that he was actually telling the truth. His public behaviour was so different from what he’d shown the one afternoon with Tom and the children.

Lily spotted Sirius walking along one wall, looking shifty, and made a split-second decision. She couldn’t risk falling into the Order’s hands.

“No need, really. I simply did what I felt I should.” She smiled, and looked down to where her bag had appeared right next to the chair she had been sitting in. “My friend _Rose_ told me that you’re looking for an assistant, Minister. Any success? Maybe I can recommend someone.” There was a flicker on Malfoy’s face that let Lily know that he had picked up on her slight change in tone. Bless Slytherins and their quick uptake on subtle hints.

“Dawlish, do you have all you need from Mrs. Potter?” the Minister asked, not waiting for an answer before placing one hand on her elbow and guiding her in direction of Andromeda Tonks and Bellatrix Lestrange. “Wonderful. Do you want to join us for tea in my office? I’m sure I can get one of our elves to bring the cake your friend liked on her last visit.”

“I’d rather try the shortbread she told me about.” Hopefully Tom would be all right with her deciding to reveal her identity to some of his followers. But generally he had said more than once that it was her decision, and had let her set the pace of their relationship. And the direction. With a sigh, Lily slung her bag over her shoulder and let herself be led by the Minister of Magic to his office, from where he probably would inform the Dark Lord and father of Lily’s little boy of her presence there.

One thing was for sure, if the Order hadn’t suspected that she was against them before, now they would know for sure.

oooOOooo

When Tom finally arrived at Malfoy Manor and stepped into the drawing room, he was very glad to see Lily sitting there, unharmed.

He didn’t pay Narcissa any mind, as she first rose and then went down into a curtsey with a murmured greeting, but went to sit across from Lily without hesitation. “How are you?” Lucius had informed him via Barty, who was a junior member of the Ministry staff, easily someone who could be sent on seemingly unimportant errands without rising suspicion.

“I’m fine,” Lily said, her tone suggesting that she had been asked the same question too often, and then sighed. “Unhappy that someone is doing something like that… Why did they attack a bakery?”

Narcissa settled into the last remaining loveseat, carefully crossing her ankles, hands folded in her lap, expertly blending into the background. Tom had always thought that the youngest Black sister was an exemplary Slytherin and a good match for Lucius.

“They do sell preserved fruits and baked goods that are part of traditional meals served for different occasions. To celebrate a birth, when wishing someone well in a new home. All those traditions are… well, they are considered old-fashioned, sometimes frowned upon. Not illegal, though.” Tom watched Lily carefully while he explained. She frowned and rubbed one hand over her brow.

“Was anyone hurt? Or caught?” Her green eyes sought out his own, and they locked gazes for a moment.

“The attacking magicals were able to flee. No one was caught, and as they were all wearing masks, we don’t know who they were, but the colours of their robes and masks have sparked rumours.” Tom could see that Lily had come to the same conclusion but had trouble actually accepting the possibility. “No one was killed or seriously hurt.”

Her gaze was assessing while she sat there, watching him. “It would be a good way to discredit the Order of the Phoenix further.”

“It could be. But this is the first time such robes, those masks, have been seen anywhere. Sure, what I have been told matches what one would expect. Flames, feathers… Frankly, I think it seems rushed. Unplanned.” With Dumbledore dead the Order had lost the one who had held so many different people together. It seemed possible that the more zealous members had broken off and decided to get more violent.

Lily nodded. “Maybe.” She tilted her head and once again searched Tom’s face. “You had nothing to do with this.” She seemed sure, and it was the truth, so Tom simply nodded. “But was it the Order?”

Tom shrugged. “I currently don’t know. I’m sure the Auror Department will find a few leads. But currently the chances are not great.” He smiled at Lily. “I’m glad that you’re fine, and not surprised that you couldn’t stand by.” That brought him a mild glare. “Do we want to go home?”

“Yes.” Lily stood and turned towards Narcissa. “Thank you very much for your hospitality, Mrs. Malfoy. I hope your sister and niece will be fine.”

Narcissa gave a smile – friendly but unsure as far as Tom could tell – and a nod in return. “Bellatrix brought her home, the two of them will be fine. But thank you for your concern and help.”

They were home right after that. Lily seemed to be in shock, and Tom was unsure how to help her and not cross boundaries too hastily. Before he could come to a conclusion as to whether his hand on her arm would be enough or a hug too much, she started to talk.

“I really don’t know what to think. Now I’m no longer so sure, but when I saw those robes, I knew that it was the Order. I can’t see them all agreeing to do something like that.” She started pacing. “They wouldn’t hesitate to attack you, or this house, if they could. Moody might go that far. But I can’t see them all agreeing to that…” She waved her hand through the air, clearly agitated.

Tom let her rant. She was carefully not mentioning any concrete names of people she didn’t know he already knew were members of the Order.

When she had run out of steam, Tom suddenly found himself in an embrace. Totally perplexed, he needed a few seconds before he managed to raise his arms and return the hug. “It’s possible that the Order is falling apart. Keeping such a diverse group together is constant work, and Dumbledore might have been able to do that work, but Moody certainly is not the type.” He sighed. “It’s quite possible that your friends were not there, Lily.”

“Didn’t know you were that much of an optimist,” Lily mumbled into his shoulder, before releasing him from the hug. “I’m going to free Severus from babysitting duty.”

“I have some organising to do. For one, money so that the bakery can be repaired quickly.” He didn’t add that he had some spies to instruct and reports to gather, as well as some orders to give. But he was pretty sure that Lily knew anyway.

When the house elf opened the door to Abraxas’ study, his old friend was already expecting him. Tom stepped in – trying to ignore the elf as best he was able – took a deep breath, and accepted the glass of fire-whiskey that Abraxas was offering him.

They sat down in armchairs in front of the fireplace, angled towards each other with a small table between them. Tom soaked in the warmth of the fire, took sips from the very excellent whiskey, and tried to relax. This had been a crazy day.

“I know it isn’t any of my business, but I do wonder how exactly… you and Lily Potter?” Abraxas wasn’t looking at Tom, but focused on the fire, just as Tom had been a moment earlier.

For a second or two Tom mused how he would have reacted to such a personal question when the two of them had been much younger. How the others in Slytherin had taunted him for his used robes, his lower-class accent, and the way he had worked to be better than them, so he could show them how wrong they had been.

Luckily for Abraxas, Tom had managed to overcome most of his insecurities, and need to prove his superiority by now. “That’s a very personal question, Abraxas.” He took another sip.

“Maybe it’s presumptuous of me to assume that you came here to talk about… all of it,” Abraxas said, moving his hand holding the glass in a vague motion.

Tom snorted, turning his gaze back to the fire. “I mostly had to get out of the house. Give Lily space to process the day, spend time with Harry. A lot happened today, a lot she wasn’t ready for yet.”

He hoped that this wouldn’t set them back. He still wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted their relationship to be, but he knew for sure that he didn’t wish for Harry and Lily to vanish from his life. This day had forced Lily to take a stance more publicly, had pushed her to see former allies more firmly as enemies than before. She was stubborn and determined, but everyone had a breaking point. And it was not easy to know exactly where that point was. If this was Lily’s, she might decide to run and leave everything behind. She had enough money and resourcefulness to find a way if she wanted to.

“You live together?” The incredulity in Abraxas’ voice brought Tom’s attention back to the cosy, if lavishly decorated, study.

“She fears for Harry’s safety if she were to stay at Potter Manor. The Order came to her door, unannounced, in force. She fled.” Tom sipped again and contemplated how much he should tell his friend. Maybe he needed to talk to someone to get some clarity. And if there was someone he could trust, it would be Abraxas. “The night I realized that Harry is my son, I left a message for her. Some time after that we started communicating. Letters, mostly. I offered her a place to shelter should she need it.” Tom gave a one-shouldered shrug.

“How did that even happen?” Abraxas asked, incredulity still clear in his voice. “There is at least a thirty-year age difference between you.”

That surprised a laugh out of Tom. “Of all the things that make this whole situation hard to believe, you get hung up on our age difference?”

“Well,” Abraxas answered in a defensive tone, “you live together, in the same house, and you’re still unharmed, very much alive. She trusts you with her child. That much is obvious. She came here… by all that I heard today about that attack by the Order, she stood against them, and later made sure not to leave with someone we suspect,” Tom snorted because they did more than suspect that Frank Longbottom was a member of Dumbledore’s little group, “of being a member of said Order, and then took the opportunity to leave with Lucius. There can’t be much of an ideological difference.”

Tom snorted and carefully set his glass down. “Lily is a lioness protecting her cub. What do you think Alastor Moody would do if he knew I had a son?”

Abraxas expression grew sombre and he conceded the point, nodding. ”I see what you’re trying to say.” For a moment they sat in silence. “If you need someone to talk to, I’m willing to listen.”

Tom nodded and then made sure Abraxas wouldn’t talk with anyone about his current situation without his approval. A simple order was enough as the other wizard was wearing his Mark. Lucius would receive the same order. Which was another reason Tom had come back this evening.

Lily’s decision to stand against the Order of the Phoenix was public now. But her ties to Tom himself were still mostly hidden. Better to keep it like that. At least for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments which help me stay motivated to write.
> 
> First published 10th of October 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	19. Chapter 22 - Picnic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have been writing on this story all through November. Managed to write 50 000 words   
> \o/  
> From now on I‘ll have time again to look over chapters before publishing them. So you will get updates a little more regularly, I hope. The year has been crazy pretty much everywhere and while I hope it won‘t get worse in this part of the world, one never knows!  
> Take care, stay safe, and find a space and time to relax.

The sticking charm to keep Harry’s bowl of porridge with cooked and mashed apples from falling down, as well as his smile in answer to Harry’s beaming grin, were automatic by now. The three of them had managed to develop a comfortable breakfast routine, even as it regularly ended with a mess. Harry had started to insist on feeding himself, proudly waving his small spoon around. Thankfully the cup Lily had bought – with two handles, a lid with a kind of spout, and a cheerful image of a train all around the side – allowed Harry to drink without assistance, as well as without spills.

Turning to his own breakfast, always keeping an eye on Harry, Tom started to spread some orange marmalade onto his toast. Lily didn’t look as if she had slept all that well, something common since what they assumed had been the Order had attacked the bakery in Diagon, but was swiftly sifting through her mail anyway.

Nagini came slithering into the room to curl up in front of the fireplace, slowly getting more active now that the weather was getting warmer. Lily picked up the newspaper just a moment before he reached for it, so he went for his own basket of non-work-related mail first.

He was just reading through a report on one of his investments – he was planning to get enough money together that he would be able to claim the family name once again – when Lily interrupted his train of thought.

“You’re making progress with your attempts to shift perceptions.” It was more of a statement than a question, and still he felt as if Lily was demanding an explanation of some kind.

“What has the Prophet written now that you’re saying that?” Together some of his followers held a major share of the Prophet, but it still didn’t make it possible to actually control what the paper was printing. Even with Lucius establishing himself quite successfully as the new Minister.

“They’re constantly referring to magicals born to non-magical people as _gifts of magic_. Not that I’m complaining. But they also have started to print interesting stories in the back pages.” She seemed amused as well as conflicted. A combination that intrigued Tom.

“I’ve been pushing for a change in language since that very stubborn and intelligent woman in that pub reminded me that excluding a group as a minority never ends up well.” And he had kept reminding his followers, sometimes quite forcefully, that there was a reason their families had problems with more and more squibs being born. IF they had children at all, that is. “But what other stories are you talking about?” Honestly he didn’t tend to read the back pages much, besides the part with gossip and the classified ads in search of interesting books and artefacts.

“Advice pieces on how to decorate for a party blessing a mother-to-be. Or recipes on how to create a special cake or other dish that makes for a nice meal on certain dates around the year.” Tom blinked. The Prophet was doing what? “It’s subtle, if one doesn’t know much about how Magic was worshipped in Britain a few generations back. And it doesn’t push the worshipping part at all. I guess I wouldn’t have noticed if not for talks with Severus and your ramblings now and again.”

“I don’t ramble,” Tom objected, still baffled by Lily’s revelation.

“You do. Want to read this recipe _perfect for a spring wedding_? Did you have someone writing those?”

Tom shook his head, trying to think of who might have come up with that, or if there was a supporter he didn’t know about writing for the housewife section of the Prophet.

”You had no idea?” Lily’s eyes narrowed. “You had dismissed this as unimportant, hadn’t you?”

Her tone put Tom immediately on edge. He knew that she was passionate about equality, and quite unhappy about the inequality in their society even as it tended to be better than the muggle world in some aspects. Witches had been able to go into politics, work if they wished to, and so on more readily than their muggle counterparts. The acknowledgement of the diversity of gender and sexuality was also an integral part of the magical community. Beside all that, Tom needed to make sure that his lack of awareness didn’t come across as intentional. “I don’t have much interest in tending to a home, or being host to a lot of family gatherings. So, while I am aware of specific publications and articles being targeted at people sharing those interests, I hadn’t considered them as a way to further my goals.” But it was a pretty good idea. He should work on broadening his view on the world.

Lily snorted. “Well done, you politician you. I bet you can talk yourself out of almost all tight spots.”

“I do have opportunity to exercise and practice that skill regularly. And thanks for bringing this to my attention. I obviously still have a lot to learn about our society, and there might be someone who should be commended for this idea.”

Lily hummed, caught the spoon Harry threw just then, and then cast a few floating bubbles to distract the boy while cleaning him up before setting him down to explore the dining room. “Your plans for today are still the same?” Tom asked after pouring himself a second cup of tea. After all, the letters she had received could have altered her plans.

“Yes. I’ll be meeting up with Remus later this afternoon.” Lily nodded. “And yours? Still planning to spend the evening at Malfoy Manor?”

Tom narrowed his eyes at her smirk. “Yes. I want to play a game of chess with Abraxas.”

“It’s good that you have a friend to meet. You seemed to lack one… before that debacle from the bakery.” And the smirk was gone again, replaced by worried creases above her nose.

“I agree. Having someone to talk to, now that more people know about us, is proving to be beneficial."

“Severus is an excellent listener. Or is he too young?” Her one raised eyebrow communicated quite clearly that she would laugh at him if Tom would cite Severus’ age as his reason for being uncomfortable talking to the man about his private concerns.

“No.” Tom shook his head, taking a sip from his tea. “He simply sees me as his Lord first and foremost, and therefore is unable to be informal enough to have such a talk with. And he has no children of his own. Both factors that are no problem with Abraxas.”

Lily inclined her head a little, conceding the point. Then she moved on, letting that topic fall. Something that she did a lot lately. She had seemed distracted and a little scatterbrained ever since that attack. “I can offer a portkey out to the continent to Remus still, right?”

“Yes.” He looked up and met her green eyes. “And you can assure him that there is nothing he has to offer up in exchange. It would be nice to have more information. But getting a supporter away from the Order is enough for me. The fact that it is something you would like to do to help a friend is a nice bonus on top.”

She huffed. “You Slytherins.” She shook her head at him, and continued with a small, worried smile. “Thank you, Tom. It means a lot to me.”

They parted a while later, Lily waiting for Severus to arrive to visit and later watch after Harry, and Tom moving out to headquarters for work.

Tom didn’t bother with his glamours any longer and was wondering if letting Voldemort simply slip out of notice would be possible or if he needed to arrange for something a little more dramatic when his followers arrived.

Everyone settled down around the meeting table. Plates with food suitable to be eaten during a meeting and various non-alcoholic drinks appeared, and after everyone had served themselves, Tom opened the meeting.

“How is our objective of identifying the members of the Order of the Phoenix, especially those involved in the attack on _Jona’s Delicious Baked Goods_?” Tom looked over to the oldest Lestrange sitting to his right, raising a brow, prompting the man to start the round of reports.

“The Aurors Sirius Black, Frank Longbottom, and Alice Longbottom, who’s back from maternity leave, are obviously members of that Order. We don’t have enough proof that would stand up in any sort of legitimate court. But from their attitude and behaviour, it’s clear enough.” And their spies’, deceased and still alive, information on those people as well was helping. “I’m not sure if they all were involved in that attack. There seems to be quite a bit of tension between Alice Longbottom and Black lately.”

Nodding and agreeing murmurs went around the room. Seemed as if stories about the tensions between them had made the rounds in the Ministry. Not very surprising, considering the efficiency of the Ministry grapevine.

“I’m not so sure about Arthur Weasley any longer. He was moved into an assistant’s role in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office. I heard his wife is happy that he will be less likely to be involved in fights, or approached for information.” One of the Aurors added from the other end of the table. “He expressed confusion over the attack, it seems he likes their nut breads.”

Everyone added little titbits to the growing list of possible supporters, people wavering away from the Order, and those that had clearly expressed their disapproval or even outright condemnation of the Order. This stunt seemed to have cost the Order quite a number of supporters and no little sympathy.

“See if you can suspend Black and Longbottom on some technicalities, get them written up. I’m sure they’re not likely to take great care with protocols,” Tom suggested. If they were written up for enough petty things, it would be easy to get them out of the Ministry.

“Those Blood-traitors and Mudblood-lovers aren’t intelligent enough to even know what it is that will be happening,” Bellatrix crooned, an expression of glee on her face.

Tom was sure his expression did show just how unimpressed he was by her choice of words, as all people around the table fell silent and became motionless in an attempt not to draw his attention.

“Bella,” Tom said slow and clear. “You know how I feel about those words.” He drew his wand, caressing it before pointing it very deliberately at Bella, tilting his head to the side just as he would in his other form. Contemplating if she was something that he could eat.

Before he could decide on a curse to use to express his displeasure, Rodolphus had stood, dragged his wife out of her chair and onto the floor, standing between her and Tom, bowing his head.

Tom blinked.

“My Lord! I beg you! Please! Whatever punishment my wife has earned, please allow me to bear it in her stead.”

That was unexpected. But it didn’t take Tom long to understand the reason for that unusual willingness to take on a punishment meant for someone else. Even if that someone was the wizard’s spouse.

“How are your attempts to reconnect with your sister going, Bella?” Tom asked, back to caressing his wand, eyes fixed on the still bowing Rodolphus.

“Very well, my Lord,” came Bellatrix’s answer from under the table. “She was more than willing to participate in a blessing for me, when Narcissa and I asked her. We had tea at her home a week ago. I met her husband and my niece.”

If he had been anywhere else Tom might have felt compelled to laugh at the image they surely were presenting currently. Instead he took a slow breath and made some low noises, as if contemplating if what he had heard was enough to avert the impending punishment.

Without warning he send a minor curse at Rodolphus that would leave him with a quite nasty rash in some delicate places for a few weeks. The wizard let out a pained hiss and sank down to the floor. The first pain was rather like a kick to the balls, so Tom wasn’t surprised.

“Bella.” Everyone understood that the one word was a clear order. If it was even possible, the tension in the room grew while Bella cautiously came back to her feet, more fear in her eyes than he had ever seen, plainly visible.

They had been trying for a very long time. Without success so far. No wonder she would dread anything that might end badly for her pregnancy.

Tom let the tension grow for a careful count of five, before sending a stinging hex at her left shoulder.

“Congratulations, Bellatrix. I wish you all the best. Please remember that this happened after you started the process of mending bridges with your sister.” Bellatrix sank down in a wobbly curtsey, murmuring something appropriately remorseful. “Take your husband home,” he dismissed the two of them and returned to the meeting and the topic at hand.

Abraxas threw him a look when no one would notice, and Tom rolled his eyes in answer. Sometimes his followers really were stubborn.

oooOOooo

Severus had asked Lily if she had met Regulus when she had been at Malfoy Manor, while she had been preparing to leave. It was a bright spot for her in a day otherwise filled with anxiety to see that her friend still had some interest in things other than Potions and the animagus transformation he had finally admitted to be attempting.

But currently she was walking through Kensington Park, a blanket folded in a basket, a warded area used exclusively by magical folk her destination. Remus had written that he would be there. They wanted to talk and Lily had planned to try once again to talk him into leaving for Norway or something.

When she stepped through the breach in the hedges and the Muggle-repelling wards onto the green expanse of grass, she stopped dead in her path.

Remus wasn’t alone.

She was already reaching for her emergency portkey when Remus noticed her and pleadingly extended his hand in her direction. “Lily, please!” He looked so sad and desperately hopeful, that Lily did decide to not leave on the spot.

“You didn’t say anything about bringing someone along.” Maybe her voice was full of accusation, but she didn’t think she could be blamed for that.

“I fear for Neville,” Alice said, her hands anxiously fisted in the long robe sleeves, clearly not holding a wand.

“You don’t say.” Well, maybe her almost exclusively Slytherin company was rubbing off on her. “Do you think I left and am hiding because I was tired of parties?”

“No. I never thought that,” Alice tried to reassure her, but Lily knew better. The tears running down her cheeks might be genuine but so had been her censure when Lily had not returned to the Order or bowed to Dumbledore’s demands back then.

“So you want to leave for the continent together with Remus?” As that was the only help she was willing and able to provide for Remus, she had to assume that was the reason Alice was here. “And do you want to take Neville with you? What will Frank say about that?”

Alice shook her head, clearly undecided and confused. “I don’t know! There needs to be another way. You have managed to hide. Why can’t I do the same?”

Lily didn’t think that they would get to actually eat the food the elves had packed for her. And that had been the planned cover story so it wouldn’t look odd for them to be talking so long.

This was not an inconspicuous situation.

Would she be able to leave if this was a trap? Even if she walked closer so they could set up the picnic they had planned to have? Or should she leave right now?

If it was a trap it was a well crafted one.

But because it was her friend seemingly desperate, asking for help, she couldn’t just simply walk away. Sometimes having Gryffindor tendencies and the awareness of the risks was an awkward position to be in.

She started walking again, setting down her basket and getting out the blanket once she was near enough that spreading it out would look natural. “Let’s at least try to not look like we are planning something if someone should come in.”

So they spread out the food. Tea in a charmed pot, cucumber sandwiches, little cakes, some fresh fruits. Lily stayed on the opposite side of the blanket from Remus and Alice, her eyes wandering around to hopefully recognize an attack early enough to be able to flee.

For a few moments they were all silent, taking some food, pouring tea, but really just avoiding looking at each other or speaking. Lily felt like rolling her eyes. This was going to be a disaster.

“Frank got into a shouting match with his mother the other day. Sirius is constantly around, brooding. And…” Alice cut herself off, running a hand over her face. “I don’t understand how you could turn your back on us, Lily.”

Lily barely managed to keep her snort in. She had turned her back on them? “Well, I think some turned their back on me first.”

“You were seen in Knockturn, Lily! What should we think?”

Remus once again didn’t speak up, avoiding conflict, caught between what he wanted, those he felt were his allies, and whatever he thought Lily was to him.

Lily felt her face get hard. “I was looking for books on how to translate old texts, Alice. What’s sold in Diagon Alley is too mainstream, translating old languages and dialects is a niche interest. And I do want to research enchantments. To read the older research notes, diaries and so on, I do need that information. Stores having such books can’t pay the rent on Diagon, so they are down Knockturn. Big deal, really.” She was so done with the condescension of those Order members. And the sarcasm didn’t fly over the other’s heads.

“Alastor was sure you had searched for Dark Magic, why else would you look for such outdated sources? Lily, please, if you were back on our side we might have a chance to change something without resorting to…” And once again she stopped herself from saying more.

Now Lily snorted. Sure, if the Potter money would once again be the Order’s to use as they saw fit, they might be able to change their tactics once more. But she wasn’t about to prolong this war. “So Alastor Moody is the only one around with a functioning conscience and moral compass? There _**is**_ much to be gained from old research that was dismissed back then and would be useful now. Not all of it is dark, or illegal, or banned. But I, the young muggle-born witch, am unable to make the distinction between those categories?” Remus had the decency to get red, and look down at his half eaten sandwich in shame. Alice on the other hand seemed to be shocked.

Lily shook her head. “Do you even see what they are doing, Alice? They wrapped themselves in robes carrying the pure flame of the phoenix, but they hid behind masks. They might have been coloured like fire, not like skulls, but exactly where is there any difference between the people attacking that bakery and the Death Eaters?”

Alice gave a shaky half nod, before shaking her head. “I don’t know any longer, Lily. Professor Dumbledore always was so adamant. He did rid us all of Grindlewald, another dark wizard. Surely you can see how he would have been the best to identify another threat for our society, our peace? You threw all his advice to the winds. I… I don’t feel like I know you any longer.”

Alice was right, they had grown apart quite a bit. But Alice seemed to be content in the role of mother and head of the household. That wasn’t a role Lily ever had wanted for herself. Fighting for the Order had seemed to be a good thing once. But there she also had always been the little, young witch. Unimportant, with opinions that rarely mattered.

“I do know the difference between right and wrong,” she wouldn’t tell them how much more gray she saw between those extremes of late, “but too many in the Order don’t seem to be able to accept that I’m an adult capable of independent thought. I can only suggest that you distance yourself from whoever is sliding down the slope towards terrorism, and hope they’ll let you leave.” Lily turned away from a pale and wide-eyed Alice and concentrated on Remus.

“Have you decided what you want to do, Remus? I can get you a portkey out of Britain. I’m even willing to help you find a job, and a place to live in. We can keep contact via owl-post. You don’t need to stay and watch from the sidelines as bullies get to harm people.” She saw him flinch and felt a tiny bit of guilt over using his standing by from their school days against him in this way. Now that she was as close to Severus as she ever had been, the inaction of Remus, the Gryffindor prefect in their year who would have had some authority over his friends, grated even more. Sure, Albus had had his hand in that, as had Professor McGonagall, but Remus hadn’t even tried once. All he had ever done were some token protests uttered with his unwillingness to do anything more clear from the start.

He seemed to struggle with his words, picking up his tea cup with shaking hands, taking a few sips as if to wet his throat. Lily kept her eyes on him, ignoring Alice, who was trying to get her attention back. When Remus finally spoke, he had his eyes closed, whispering just loudly enough that Lily could hear him. “I would be in your debt if you could get me that portkey.”

“That’s sorted then,” Lily said, standing. She would leave the basket, blanket, and food behind. No reason to risk staying longer to gather the things. “Prepare what you need to so you can leave. I’ll let you know where you can pick up the portkey and when as soon as I’m able. Do you have any preferences to where you want to go?”

Remus looked up to her, reminding her of a drenched puppy. “I don’t have a preference.”

Lily nodded, turned on her heel and left the park and its wards to apparate back home with a few stops in between. No reason to risk someone might follow her there.

oooOOooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re able to enjoy the time of family gatherings despite everything that’s happening. I’ll be back with another chapter soon!
> 
> First published 6th of December 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	20. Chapter 23 - Talking Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that it‘s getting darker and darker in the northern hemisphere I feel like reading more. Not sure if you feel the same, but here‘s a new chapter anyway.

When Lily came home, it was much earlier than she had anticipated, and she was much more frustrated.

Severus looked up from his book and threw her a questioning gaze when she came into the nursery where Harry was sleeping in his bed. “What went wrong?”

Lily turned from where she had checked on her little boy – not that she didn’t trust Severus but she simply needed to assure herself that he was fine – and sat down on the green, shag rug she had added to enhance the meadow look the floor held, turning to her friend. “Remus wasn’t alone. So while he accepted the offer of a portkey, I also had to handle Alice and her attempts to _understand_ why I have left the Order.”

“Let me guess, she wasn’t impressed with your explanation?” Severus closed his book and gave all of his attention to her. He was a good listener.

“Yes. She seems to agree that Albus Dumbledore, and now Moody, are the only two people around who can judge the morality of any action.” Lily once again was exasperated over that blind faith and unwillingness to think for themselves that was prevalent in the Order.

“But she isn’t part of the faction that deems it acceptable to attack a bakery?” Severus always avoided the word _terrorism_ and others of that sort when they were talking about the switch in the Order’s modus operandi. He knew that he would be hypocritical if he condemned the Order for using methods the Death Eaters had used before.

“She seemed shook up about it. Yes. And worried about Neville’s safety. Can’t say I blame her. Andromeda Tonks’ child was there that day at the bakery. How easily could other children get into dangerous situations? Now that Tom has dialled back on the overt violence,” Severus flinched, and Lily gave him an unimpressed look, but refrained from commenting, “there should be less risk. But with the Order stepping right into that place, all bets are off again.”

“What did she want?” Severus seemed honestly interested.

“I’m not really sure.” Lily shrugged, settling into a more comfortable position with her legs crossed. “She probably wanted to ask for help, but didn’t seemed sure for what, exactly. I guess on how to hide, or to decide whether she even should. But she distracted herself with the question of why I went into hiding.”

Severus looked over to the bed and the sleeping Harry and then back at Lily. “She doesn’t understand that you do fear for your son’s safety as well? I know you can’t reveal every aspect of why he’s in danger, but it should be enough that your home was attacked directly. That’s not something that happened all that often.”

Severus was right, even as she really didn’t appreciate being reminded of that darker side to Tom.

She decided to switch topics. “At least Remus has made his decision. I’ll have to ask Tom for a portkey. And pick a place to send Remus to.”

“He didn’t have a destination in mind?” Severus seemed surprised and interested despite himself.

Lily shook her head.

“Maybe somewhere around the Mediterranean sea. The warmer weather would be good for him.”

Lily nodded slowly. She had known that warm, or mild weather – compared to the weather here – was good for people who were werewolves. It helped them cope with the pains that often developed in their joints. Ever since she had read James’ letter and subsequently had looked into the Potter assets to take care of them for Harry until he was old enough, she had worried what to do with all the houses and land the Potters had bought all over Europe. There were elves taking care of those properties, but she felt that wasn’t enough. And currently she wasn’t able to spare the time to go look at those herself.

“I think there might be a small vineyard on the French south cost. And a house with lots of olive trees in Greece. Maybe I can send Remus to take care of those properties.” She tapped one of her fingers against her leg, thinking. “Yeah, I think that might work rather well. He would be out of Britain, would have something to do, as well as having access to warded stretches of land to use during the full moon. And it wouldn’t be charity.” She had learned that those who needed the most help often weren’t all too happy to accept help from the people able to give it. Especially if it had any measurable monetary value.

“That’s sorted then,” Severus concluded, startling Lily into a laugh which she quickly smothered.

“You’re the worst.” She gave him a playful glare and only got the smallest of smirks in response. Time for a little revenge. “Have you managed to ask Regulus out for a date yet?”

Severus spluttered and blushed, giving her a reproachful look. “You know that it isn’t that easy.”

“Why not?” Lily whined, more to annoy her friend than because she really did not know why Severus felt it was a complicated situation.

“Because I’m a half-blood wizard brought up in a poor muggle neighbourhood.” And there he was again, her moody friend who was all too willing to think badly about himself.

“And also related to the Prince family, which is a small but very old family. On top of that you’re a Potions Master, and one of the youngest as well. A good duellist and inventor of your own spells. Don’t sell yourself short!”

“Do you really think that his parents, or the Head of the Black family, will be willing to overlook my deficiencies because of a title and a distant and ignored family connection?” Severus scowled down at his folded hands.

“You’re also a loyal and trusted follower of the man that the Black family has sworn to support.” She didn’t comment on Sirius, as he obviously didn’t fit in with that description, but her former friend didn’t count anyway. “And you’re talking as if you want to marry Regulus. I thought it was only about a date. You don’t even know yet if the two of you are compatible!”

Severus’ blush got even deeper and Lily laughed again, quickly bringing it down to a giggle. “You want to marry him!” At her friend’s red face and insecure eyes, she stopped laughing. This was much more serious than she had thought and no laughing matter. “Do you know if Regulus is interested in men? Generally? If he’s not, the whole idea is moot anyway.”

Severus nodded. “One of the few things Regulus shares with his older brother is that his interest in partners isn’t exclusively focused on women.” Severus snorted. “When he realized, the whole Slytherin common room was treated to him ranting for several hours. Which is pretty unusual, if you were wondering. A Slytherin usually doesn’t tend to give away such private information that willingly.”

“And to that many people as well.” Lily could see how that wasn’t something a teenager would do easily. She was sure that was pretty universal between all four Houses. Maybe with a few exceptions. Sirius had flaunted his preferences and exploits. She suspected it had been to anger his family. He had done a lot to rebel against his parents and their values.

“But yes, that is not a problem. All the other things are.”

“Can I help?” She would like to see Severus happy. It didn’t happen quite as often as she thought it should.

“What do you want to do? Use your relationship with the Dark Lord to get me into the Blacks’ good graces?” Severus gave her a sardonic look, before he snorted at her look of conflict.

“I don’t even know what relationship we have, other than being the parents of our child.”

“Don’t tell me I have imagined the sexual tension between the two of you,” Severus half-asked, half-stated. “I had assumed you two… had already progressed into something… more intimate.” He didn’t seem happy with his choice of words but didn’t try to find others now.

While Severus returned to his pale complexion, it was Lily’s turn to blush. Confronted with the tension she had been trying to ignore, all those conflicting feelings were at the front of her mind once again.

She played with the hem of her jeans, trying to sort out what she wanted to say to that. “It’s not that easy.” Severus snorted, and Lily looked up to glare at him. “It really isn’t. At least Regulus hasn’t killed someone close to you. Or has he?”

“No, you’re right. But are you attracted to him?”

“Yes. But I also know who he is, and what he’s done.” There was no need to elaborate. Severus knew as well as she did.

“May I point out that you do trust him with your son? And that he is a shockingly good father?” Lily wasn’t sure if she should be happy or unhappy over Severus’ trying to be helpful. “I know. I don’t claim that my feelings and thoughts are all that rational.” She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands again. “I can’t deny that my hormones and body like him very much. That’s not enough, though.” It really wasn’t, not for a longer, meaningful, relationship. “It’s a point in his favour that he is making an effort to be a good father. The fact that he has switched to… less violent ways to overthrow the established government is also good. But still, he did kill without remorse. My husband was among his victims.”

Severus ignored her lack of comment on so-called dark magic, and carefully addressed some of her other concerns. “He hasn’t killed an innocent in cold blood, as far as I’m aware. James Potter was a willing participant as a combatant in this conflict. And he was very much not an innocent. You did mention those fertility potions.”

“Yes. James really wasn’t the considerate man he presented himself as while trying to get me to marry him. He was charming, but surprisingly good at hiding his flaws.” She still couldn’t quite believe that she had been fooled by the biggest git in her year in Gryffindor.

“Being a teenager can blind us to a lot.” Severus stated, which was true enough. “You’re not blind in this. Only overthinking everything.”

“And you’re doing the same. Just ask Regulus out for a date already. Go to some of those parties so you can dance with him, and socialise a little. Aren’t those about making connections?”

“Don’t deflect, Lily. Your situation is more complicated.” She pumped her fist in mock victory. “Yes, I do admit it. My situation is significantly less complicated. And you do need to think about it. Ignoring the situation isn’t doing you any good.”

She sighed. “I know. But despite the _pro_ arguments weighing more than the _contra_ arguments, one problem remains. No, two problems remain. I don’t know if he’s interested, and I don’t want to risk the stability we have reached if it should go wrong. Harry is much better off with both his parents in his life.”

Severus got out of the chair, and settled on the floor cross-legged, just as Lily was sitting. “He absolutely can be attracted to you. There’s no guessing about that. Is he willing to get involved in a long-term relationship? I have no idea. I don’t even know if I want to speculate. The fact that you _are_ living here, that he obviously wants to be part of his son’s life… If you ask my opinion, I would say that he’s not opposed to the idea on principle.”

“And the risk?” Lily asked in a small voice.

“Who’s the Gryffindor here?” Severus teased, breaking the tension a little. “You claim that what you have now is stable. But how long will it stay that way? If you find someone else, because don’t try to tell me that you’ll be able to live like a nun, that will throw everything off anyway. How would you react should he find someone else and you’d never tried? And isn’t the possible gain worth the risk?”

“I’ll have to think on that. But you have to find a way to spend more time with Regulus.” Her demand was weak, but just as Severus seemed to wish for her to stop dithering, she couldn’t bear her friend’s mooning from afar any longer.

“I’ll try. There will be another celebration around midsummer. Maybe I’ll be able to dance with him then.” Severus didn’t look exactly thrilled, but he had a little more colour on his cheeks than usual.

“You won’t try to get out of that celebration?” Lily asked, curious. Severus usually wasn’t one for parties.

“Attendance is mandatory.” Severus looked miserable enough that Lily had to grin, earning herself a glare. “It’s a big family occasion. Everyone will be there, children included.”

“And Tom makes everyone attend?” Lily was curious despite herself.

“Yes. It’s not all that bad. No potential for a sexually charged atmosphere-induced assaults due to Bellatrix and her husband. Good food. Lots of dancing – which will provide me with an opportunity to dance with Regulus – singing as well.” Her friend tilted his head to one side, thoughtful. “Plants harvested on that day are especially useful in healing potions. And while I don’t know who will host the celebration this year, it’s almost guaranteed to be at one of the bigger Manors. They tend to have extensive gardens.” “Which tend to have gardens with herbs and plants useful for potions,” Lily finished for him.

Neither of them mentioned the possibility of Lily and Harry attending as well, as they dived into a discussion about healing potions and how ingredients harvested or prepared at different times affected their properties.

oooOOooo

Narcissa carried little Draco out of the room after she had brought him so that he could wish his grandfather a good night. Tom watched her go, musing over possible future scenarios. His Harry and this little boy would go to Hogwarts at the same time. Would they be friends by then? Would they be rivals? Roommates because they were sorted into the same House?

“They do change a lot, don’t they?” Abraxas asked, filling their glasses with red wine and handing one over to Tom, before settling down in his chair across from his friend in front of the white pieces on the chessboard.

“Children?” Tom asked, nodding slowly before taking a sip. “I guess they do.”

Abraxas snorted. “They change everything. No guessing about it. I still remember the day Lucius was born and placed in my arms for the first time. He was so very tiny.” There was a nostalgic smile on his old friend’s face, and Tom didn’t try to restrain his grin at the sappy atmosphere.

“How is everything at home?” Abraxas asked, sending one of his pawns forward, then leaning back to wait for Tom to answer and make his move.

“Good. We do have a routine. Harry and Nagini seem to like each other, and Lily doesn’t freak out when my familiar is around our boy.” Tom still wasn’t sure how Lily could be so calm about having a snake big enough to eat the little boy be around her baby while also unable to communicate with the snake. Tom did know that Nagini had no intention to eat _the hatchling,_ but he wasn’t sure he would be as calm as Lily if he didn’t know that. He made his own move, now waiting for Abraxas to continue the game.

“That certainly is an advantage,” the blond wizard conceded. “But my question was aimed at your relationship with Lily, not your routine co-parenting your child.”

Tom rolled his eyes, and let himself slump into his seat. “I’m not sure. There _**is**_ attraction. Otherwise Harry wouldn’t be here now. But there also are quite a few obstacles between us.” A few more pieces were ordered to new positions, Abraxas patiently waiting for Tom to continue.

Sometimes the other was uncomfortably patient.

After another significant look from his friend, Tom rolled his eyes again, and snorted. “You’re very persistent.”

Abraxas gave a shrug, all high society masks lowered. “I do know you. And I do care about you. You haven’t lived together with another person for so long since the end of school.”

Tom nodded, that was true. “Yes. Living with Lily and Harry is different than living alone. Obviously. I don’t feel cooped in or under pressure. I still feel safe in my own home, Abraxas.”

They once again fell silent, sipping their wine, and moving the chess pieces about, watching as they viciously attacked each other.

Abraxas gave an exasperated sigh. “I hate to be a Gryffindor about this, or maybe a Hufflepuff, but as a good Slytherin, I am willing to use any means.”

Tom’s brow winged up and he smirked, curious what would follow that introduction.

“Do you want to enter a sexual relationship with the mother of your son? Or even a romantic one?”

Tom blinked slowly. He honestly didn’t know.

“What I’m trying to do here is offer you an opportunity to talk about it without the risk of being exposed.” Abraxas threw his hands into the air and slumped back into his armchair. “You’re not that dense normally.”

That earned Abraxas a stern glare. “I know perfectly well what you are trying to offer.” And he did. But his own thoughts and feelings on that matter were not as easy to understand.

Maybe talking out loud actually would help sort his thoughts.

“I’m not entirely sure.” Now Tom shrugged and leant back, the game between them forgotten. “We almost kissed a few weeks ago. I have dreamed about her, our one… close encounter, several times now.” He hesitated a moment, pondering if he should mention the one change in his behaviour that was the most obvious and also the most confusing.

His friend was patiently waiting, moving his expensive crystal wine glass in small circles.

“In the past I would go out when I needed some company. Disguise myself, apparate somewhere and visit a muggle pub, or some other place where one can meet a woman. I would flirt, talk, have some fun. It’s easy to find someone who also is in search of a single night without strings attached.” It felt strange to talk about it after so many years. He looked up and met the grey eyes of his friend. “I haven’t gone out like that since Lily moved in.”

“Then you have to be very frustrated by now,” Abraxas remarked, deadpan.

Tom snorted and shook his head. “I’m not a teenager any longer, and I do have two hands and magic at my disposal.”

Abraxas inclined his head, accepting a point well made. “I suspect that your decision to not follow your usual routine is what has you confused?”

“Yes. I think it simply doesn’t feel right to search out the company of strangers when…”

“The woman you really want to spend time with is already living with you and is the mother of your son?” Abraxas finished the sentence for Tom.

“I guess so.” Talking really did help, regardless of how hard it was to do.

“Then court her! Why are you waiting?”

Tom was sure the stare he fixed on his friend was venomous. “I did kill her husband. The fact I’m the father of her child alienated her from her friends, forced her to flee. Not that long ago she was fighting against the political movement I’m the head of. Sure, there’s no reason to fear what might happen if I tried.”

“You’re worried what will happen if an attempt at courting her should fail.” It was a statement and not a question, so Tom didn’t react, prompting Abraxas to sigh again. “You two will be caught in this weird state of not knowing for a very long time if you don’t act on your desire to have a more intimate relationship with her.”

Tom furrowed his bow. “Why? If she doesn’t want the same as I, it would be useless. And if she does want the same, what’s stopping her from taking the first step herself? She is pretty independent, and one of the reasons why she left the Order is the fact that they didn’t take her seriously.”

“You do know that traditionally it’s the man’s place to start a courtship by asking to be granted the permission to court. Preferably by approaching the father of the witch.” Abraxas seemed very confused by Tom’s suggestion to let Lily take the first step.

“And if you go further back, you’ll discover traditions where young men would display different impressive feats to catch a woman’s attention so she would select them. What I want to say is that it’s not necessary that the older party starts the process, or the wizard, or whatever. It’s a very narrow perspective you have on this topic, and I know it worked for you. But I do know Lily pretty well by now. She wouldn’t be impressed if I would chose to go with the traditions of courtship you were alluding to.”

“I have met her twice now. That was not across from battle lines flinging spells, at least.” Abraxas rubbed his brow with one hand. “Trust you to know at least five different courting traditions used by magical communities all around the world through several hundreds of years.”

“Now you’re exaggerating. I haven’t had that much reason to study that particular topic in that much depth. I only looked into traditions that once were adhered to on the British Islands. I didn’t find much related to worshipping Magic in those traditions. Mostly it’s just human interaction and rules to make the whole process predictable. I guess that would take out some of the anxiety.” He felt offended when Abraxas snorted.

“I get it, you don’t want to come across as a man disregarding a woman’s right to define her own path and make independent decisions.” Relieved to have it laid out that clearly, Tom nodded. That did align with his plan to let her set the pace on all their interactions as Harry’s parents, and magical humans with different beliefs in regards to Magic. “As I’m sure you’re keeping your occlumency shields up all the time, and don’t even know if she is a Legilimens, you should signal your interest a little more often and a lot more plainly. Otherwise my statement about you two circling around each other as if walking on doxy eggs still stands.”

“And how do you think I should do that?”

Abraxas started to make suggestion after suggestion, from Tom walking around topless to smiling more often, some making Tom give him incredulous looks or outright glaring.

The game of chess they had started the evening with was never finished, but the bottle of wine was.

oooOOooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing those conversations. That should help them move forward already, the two of them are almost to careful about the whole relationship thing. And why do my characters keep doing their own thing without consulting with me?
> 
> First published 13th of December 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	21. Chapter 24 - Family Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are well and safe. Have another dose of not-reality.

“The weather today is really nice.” Lily said with a longing gaze out the window, before she hurried after Harry, who was standing next to a shelf, pulling down books and giggling at the same time. Tom was doubly glad that he had removed his really valuable books from the rooms Harry regularly had free rein in. He could have warded the shelves, but it had seemed a better idea to give Harry the possibility to interact with books than to restrict him from touching them. Tom always had resented the caretakers in the orphanage for making sure he was afraid to ask questions and search out knowledge. Something he had had to work on to overcome once he was accepted at Hogwarts.

“It is quite sunny. Maybe we could spend the afternoon in the garden?” Tom suggested, settling down on the floor, and inviting Harry to come to him with his arms stretched out towards his son.

Harry let go of the books, his interest quickly diverted to focus on his father. Toddlers were quite easily distracted. With a small smile Lily started to move the books back onto the shelf. “The garden is nice…” Lily didn’t finish her sentence, but Tom didn’t need to hear her say it to know what was bothering her. She wasn’t made to stay cooped up for so long. Those quick, short trips to other places didn’t really count. That all of them had ended on a negative note didn’t exactly help.

“We could visit a place somewhere in a muggle community. I’m sure you have some clothes that wouldn’t be out of place, and I _**am**_ able to blend in.” Harry had reached Tom and thrown himself into his arms, laughing and happy.

“Where would we go?” Lily asked, turning to look at Tom and Harry, her eyes filled with happiness, love, and hope.

“The London Zoo? Or one of the parks? I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be of interest in such a big city. A family out for a stroll on a nice summer day. Nothing remarkable.” With each word Lily looked more hopeful. She really needed some fresh air and to get out of the house.

How hard had hiding from him been on her? How long would she be able to keep up this bout of hiding again? This time from people who had been her friends and allies for a long time.

“That would be lovely,” Lily nodded, agreeing with the plan.

Tom wasn’t so sure, though, that he would be able to relax enough to enjoy the day out with Lily and his son, if he was solely responsible for keeping them safe. Well, not exactly solely responsible. Lily was more than capable of taking care of herself, but with Harry in the mix, the whole situation would be a lot more complicated.

“Would you agree to take a few bodyguards with us?” There should be a few Death Eaters he could make come with them.

And maybe he should change the name of his organisation again. The name of Death Eaters was tarnished, and for good reason. On top of that the name carried a certain meaning of its own. And not a good one. Banishing that tentative plan to the back of his mind, Tom turned his attention to Lily.

“You’re that concerned about our safety, even in muggle London?” Lily furrowed her brow, pressing one hand into her hip.

“Not really, but kind of?” Tom shrugged, tightening his arms around Harry snuggling into his shoulder. “I know that we both have portkeys, and are good with a wand. We both have enemies. Mine are more than willing to do some bad things to get at me. Getting my son into their hands would be… something they would use to their advantage.” Tom exhaled slowly, remaining as calm as possible. “Having at least two other capable adults around would make me feel better. Which would allow me to relax enough to actually enjoy our family day.”

Her stance relaxed, the tenderness returning into her eyes. “You’re not paranoid if people are really out to get you,” she murmured, then nodded. “Who do you want to take?”

And that was the question wasn’t it? He pondered his choices for a while. Maybe they could take Abraxas. He was able to blend in well enough, and might pass as the grandfather. His blond hair could almost pass as white, and was already starting to lose its colour anyway.

“I’ll have to think on it. Would you be all right with revealing your identity and our connection to more people? Otherwise the number of possibilities is severely limited. And I’m not sure they will have time on such short notice.”

Lily blinked slowly and then grinned. “I would love to see the face of some of the Order if they knew that Tom Marvolo Riddle, also known as Lord Voldemort, **THE** Dark Lord, is reluctant to inconvenience his minions with sudden changes to their plans for the day.”

Tom snorted and let go of Harry, who made it clear that he wanted to be released from the hug, and started to walk around the room some more. “I don’t think they would believe it.”

“Probably not.” She sighed. “I can’t stay in hiding forever. And I don’t think I’m willing to change my identity.”

For a moment the two of them watched Harry as he walked over to one of the windows, and examined the drapes, hanging down to the floor.

“Did I tell you that I have made progress with the translations?”

Tom shook his head. He had seen her work on translations in the evenings after he had given her the portkey for Remus Lupin, but he hadn’t realised that she had made a lot of progress.

“Well, I did. And I noticed the decline in mention of what we would call high elves from Roman manuscripts towards later writings in the Middle Ages.” She sighed again, pulled out a chair, and sat down where she could see both Harry – now starting to hide behind the drapes – and Tom, who still sat on the floor. “The number of documents hinting at the trade in what I think are house elves as we know them today rises in the same time frame.” She shrugged. “I’m not totally convinced that this is more than coincidence. But with the information available to us, especially that one letter, it is a possible conclusion that something happened to the high elves that changed them into house elves, bound to magical humans.” Her green eyes fixed on Tom. “I think that the motivation you claim to have for your goal is genuine.”

Well, that was what Tom had hoped for. It had been unlikely that she would accept that _**Magic**_ existed as an entity – or goddess – and that _**She**_ had given them magic, but this was a big step in the right direction. “I will see who has time and wouldn’t look out of place going to the zoo with us. We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves because we have obvious bodyguards with us. You’ll have final say over who will accompany us.”

Thankfully Lily let the change in topic and his non-reaction to her announcement slide. “That sounds good.”

A giggle sounded from behind the drapes, drawing both their eyes to where Harry had managed to hide in the folds of the fabric. Their eyes met over the table, and Tom moved onto all fours, then got back onto his feet. “Where is Harry?” Another giggle sounded, prompting Lily to also chuckle. “Have you seen him?”

“No. Maybe he went into the hall?” Lily pressed a hand to her mouth her eyes sparkling with mirth.

“Possibly.” Tom nodded, turning around in a tight circle as if he were searching for Harry and had no idea where he was. “I think I should check.” So Tom started to walk in direction of the door, making sure his steps were easy to hear.

Then he quickly changed direction, cast a little spell to lift the drapes up away from Harry, and bent to scoop the giggling child up into his arm.

All three of them were laughing now, and Tom felt light as a feather. Harry strained in Lily’s direction, and Tom handed him over with a smile.

“Two people should be enough?” Tom asked, his thoughts returning to planning the outing to the zoo. “One to back you so you can concentrate on getting Harry to safety, and one to back me to buy you enough time before we get away ourselves?”

Lily nodded her head, one of Harry’s hands gripping a strand of her hair. “I think two are enough.”

With a little wave to Harry, Tom went to his room so he could change into his more formal robes before apparating to headquarters.

He had thought long and hard on whom to call, and now the group of selected knights – could he simply go back to the name he had had for his group back in school? – was before him, and preparing to reveal some of his private life to more of them.

“I want you all to pay close attention, and to remember that you will not repeat the information you will receive today.” He made eye contact with every one of them, getting a small smirk from Abraxas, who probably had already guessed what this was about. “I have selected you as possible candidates for a specific assignment.” He made a pause for dramatic effect and reminded himself that he wanted to get out of the house and experience some of the important milestones of family life with his son, and that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it without someone there to back him should an enemy attack them.

“For this occasion you’ll need to be able to dress in a way that you can pass for a muggle in a muggle setting. If you’re unable to do that you may leave now.” He could see the curiosity in their eyes, but was pleased to see that not one contemplated leaving. “Good.” Tom started to pace. This was a lot more nerve-wracking than he had expected it to be.

“Two of you will be tasked with accompanying myself, my son, and my son’s mother on a family outing.” The surprise was almost tangible in the air, but they all were disciplined enough not to break rank, or vocalise their surprise. “We will need to present something that will not arouse any suspicion where we’ll be going. Therefore I want to impress on you that you can decline this assignment without repercussions.” He would totally understand if some of them would not feel comfortable with the prospect.

“Abraxas, I hope you have nothing occupying your afternoon?” Having his friend there would certainly help him relax, and he already knew about Lily, another point in his favour.

Severus was among those Tom had called. With his father being a muggle and having lived many years of his youth almost exclusively in the muggle world, he was another good candidate. But he stepped back with a bow. “I have a potion brewing that will get into a state requiring constant supervision this afternoon.”

Tom nodded his agreement and let his gaze wander over the other three he had called. It was sad that he didn’t trust most of his best fighters to blend in with muggles when it was needed. They shifted a little, and then the only woman among them stepped forward.

“If you’ll allow me to be part of this assignment, my Lord, I would be honoured.” Cassiopeia Parkinson took another step forward, bowing her head. She had a daughter around Harry’s age, and was the head of her family. The Parkinson family always had been one of those that had matriarchal inheritance rules as long as anyone could remember. She was as good as Bellatrix when fighting, but a lot more level-headed. She would be a good addition to their party, making the composition a lot more believable.

“Thank you for volunteering.” Tom accepted her offer, waving a hand at the others. “You may go.” With murmured words of respect, Severus and the others bowed and left, leaving the three of them alone.

“You should go home and change into muggle attire and then meet me here. Introductions will be made before we leave.”

Before Tom could turn to leave himself, Cassiopeia called out to him. “May I ask where we are going to go? Our destination will influence what I’m going to wear.”

Tom supposed that women’s wear usually was more varied than typical men’s wear – at least as far as he was aware – and that he certainly was no expert in fashion. “We are going to visit the London Zoo. The weather is nice, and my son is old enough to enjoy looking at animals and walking around on his own for a while.”

Abraxas smirked, and turned, calling back over his shoulder. “I’m looking forward to this expedition. See you soon.”

Tom sighed and turned to see how far Lily had come in her part of the preparations. She had said that Harry needed a small lunch, then she would change him into appropriate clothing and transfigure a pram as Harry surely wouldn’t be able to walk around all afternoon. He still was too small for that.

oooOOooo

This was her first visit in Tom’s headquarters and she was looking around without reservation. This wasn’t what she had expected.

She actually wasn’t quite sure what she had expected. Maybe something more sinister? The big windows, the light walls and wooden floors. It was a nice house. Or maybe it was a manor. She only had seen Tom’s own study, where they had arrived, the hall to this big room, and the room they were now waiting in, so she didn’t really know.

Harry was walking around, following Nagini, who was moving in a circle with Tom and her in the middle. As if she was playing with Lily’s little boy. It was kind of disconcerting.

The door opened and Abraxas Malfoy walked into the room, followed by a woman Lily hadn’t seen before. The two of them were without robes, their clothes something that wouldn’t look out of place in London. In fact, if Lily hadn’t known that the woman had to be a witch, she wouldn’t have guessed.

Lord Malfoy was in a three-piece linen suit, without a tie, smiling winningly as he avoided Harry on his way to her. He first bowed to Tom, and then to Lily. “It’s nice to meet you again. It’s been a long time since I last visited a zoo. I’m happy to get this opportunity now.”

Harry ran over to Tom, calling out to him “Da!” and then putting up his arms. “Up!”

Harry was picked up, and Tom waved the woman closer. “Lily, meet Cassiopeia Parkinson. Cassiopeia, this is Lily, my son’s mother. And this young man here is Harry. My son.” Harry watched the two other adults curiously and without fear. He trusted Tom and therefore didn’t fear anyone Tom let him meet.

Cassiopeia smiled at Harry. “Hello, little wizard.” While the introduction took place Lily carefully watched Mrs. – or was it Lady? – Parkinson. She didn’t show any surprise or other emotion over Lily being the mother of the Dark Lord’s son. Or the fact that Tom had a child at all. She seemed friendly enough, and competent.

“I created a portkey that will transport us to a hidden place near to the main entrance of the London Zoo.” Lily grinned and accepted Harry back into her arms. Tom had wanted to transport them into the zoo. As that would have resulted in their not paying the entrance fee. She had objected.

The other adults gathered around, and they all touched the cord that had been tied into a circle. Tom activated the magic, and they were transported away in a swirl of colours.

Lily’s feet made contact with the pavement, and she took a half step to avoid falling, which would have put Harry at risk. Travelling by portkey was an acquired skill. Doing so with a toddler was even harder.

Before they had sorted themself out, a pram appeared next to Lily just as she had arranged it with the house elves.

“Remember, we are here as a family, enjoying the summer weather, and showing little Harry the zoo for the first time. Keep a lookout for possible threats, but don’t attract attention. Cassiopeia, you’ll be responsible for supporting Lily and keeping Harry safe. Abraxas will stay by my side,” Tom instructed and got three nods. “Then let’s go.”

They had to wait a little while in line at the entrance to buy their tickets. When they walked into the zoo, Harry insisted on being allowed to walk on his own. Lily set him down, and Tom smiled at her before following Harry down the path, hovering nearby.

“He’s a cute little boy,” Mrs. Parkinson said, falling into step with Lily.

“That he is,” Lily agreed, still feeling unsettled over the decision she had made. There was no way back now. If she was honest with herself, there hadn’t been a way back for some time now. She believed Tom, that his goal was to avoid a future where humans would lose magic by returning to religious practices that were designed to thank a higher entity for the gift of magic. She still wasn’t convinced that something like a higher entity did exist. But the rituals, practices, and traditions she had witnessed and researched certainly had an effect on the people performing them, as well as on their surroundings. It was possible that those effects were required to keep the magic in their world, so that children would be born with the ability to wield it. As far as Lily knew, no one had ever bothered to investigate that possibility. There only had been those believing and following what looked like a religion to Lily, and those that had summarily had decided that those practices were useless, old-fashioned, or even dangerous, and needed to be left behind.

“I have to admit that I’m curious beyond belief,” Mrs. Parkinson said, sounding amused but friendly. “But it would be very rude if I were to ask for details.”

Lily snorted, pushing the pram and keeping an eye on Harry, Tom and their surroundings. “Were you a Slytherin?” Mrs. Parkinson was quite a few years older than Lily, so they hadn’t been in school together. As she thought judging someone by their Hogwarts House was kind of silly, and short-sighted, she never had bothered to memorise the Houses that different people had been in. It was a good conversation starter, though.

“I was. Why would you assume that I was sorted into Slytherin?”

“Because that was a very Slytherin way of asking a question you declared would be rude anyway.” Living with Tom, and meeting with Severus on a regular basis again, had taught her a thing or two about the ways of Slytherins.

Mrs. Parkinson chuckled. “Point. The whole situation is baffling. But I can see how one would be attracted to him. Without that glamour he is rather good-looking.”

Lily shook her head. The witch was still fishing. That would probably be the theme of any interaction she would have with any of Tom’s followers once they learned of her and their connection. She sighed. “There will be no way I can avoid the question and also avoid rumours starting, will there?” It was a rhetorical question, but Mrs. Parkinson nodded anyway.

“While I’m bound to secrecy, the fact that I’m here at all indicates that he doesn’t want to keep you and your son a secret much longer.” Lily nodded as well. It was a rather easy conclusion to draw. She even had given her permission for that shift when she had told Tom that she believed him about his motivation.

“I can’t hide forever. And Harry will need more interaction to grow up well balanced than we two can provide for him.” Lily hadn’t asked Tom if she could call him by his name in front of his followers. The Malfoys seemed to be in a different relation to Tom than most others. The way he and Abraxas were interacting just now, talking and laughing while following Harry, clearly indicated that. Lily had no idea how Mrs. Parkinson’s connection to Tom was defined exactly. For all she knew there was nothing more than the common goal of bringing back traditions, and toppling the current Ministry.

“I guess,” Mrs. Parkinson said. “My daughter, Pansy, is around your son’s age. Maybe they could play together?”

Lily smiled. “Maybe. They are still so young. A while back we visited the Malfoys. Draco and Harry didn’t really play together, but I guess that will change rather sooner than I would like.” Laughter drew her gaze towards Tom who was turning in a circle Harry’s legs flying outwards. “They do grow up so fast.”

“That they do,” Mrs. Parkinson agreed.

They strolled around, following the three wizards, and avoiding the occasional muggle group, in silence for a while.

Maybe this was an opportunity to get to know someone new without being restricted through society’s demands. She would try, but remain cautious. Maybe her wariness wasn’t justified, but Moody had preached constant vigilance once too often before turning around and betraying her, to start ignoring that piece of advice now.

“I know that there will be a celebration for midsummer. But I don’t really know what that will entail. I assume that you know more about the traditions?”

“Yes, I do know what a typical midsummer celebration is like. But why don’t you ask…” Mrs. Parkinson paused for a few seconds, probably tying to decide how to call Tom, before continuing. “Your son’s father?”

“I could do that, sure. And we do talk a lot. But I hadn’t thought about this until very recently. And from time to time it’s good to get another perspective. Tom,” she was not really willing to keep on dithering around with his name. He would have to life with it, ”has many strong opinions, but he tends to ramble on and fall into lecturing mode. Not uninteresting, but sometimes a lot more information than I really need in a given situation.”

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Mrs. Parkinson flinching as if surprised, and quickly looking over to her, the skirt of her dress swinging around her legs. She sounded hesitant when she answered. “Last year we all were invited to meet in the gardens around Black Manor. The food was excellent, but I was mostly keeping an eye on Pansy, so I didn’t get to dance all that much. I hope to dance more this year. It’s always been my favourite part.”

“I guess now that your daughter is no longer a baby you’ll have more time.” That did match with what Severus had told her. This celebration could be a good time and place to get out of hiding and kind of announce the fact that she had a child together with Tom. She would have to speak with Tom first, but it seemed the best plan. “Do you know where the festivities will take place this year?”

“The Malfoys will be hosting. Not sure where yet. But with the younger Malfoy being elected as Minister, his father gets the honour.” She sounded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Lily had to agree that it sounded logical that being host of such a celebration would be considered an honour. It probably was also quite expensive.

“So Narcissa will be organising most of it?” Would Andromeda Tonks and her husband be invited? Severus had said that it was considered a festival celebrated with family and friends.

“Most likely. As far as gossip goes, Lord Malfoy isn’t one to enjoy the logistics needed for a big celebration like this.”

They were interrupted by Harry’s running back towards them, laughing. “Up!”

Lily bent down to pick up her son as he had demanded. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeah!”

Lily grinned. Harry, like most toddlers, hadn’t managed to get volume control down just yet. Or maybe he was experimenting with his voice. Either way, he liked to yell and screech at the top of his voice when he wasn’t hissing at Nagini or Tom. “That’s great.”

Harry turned towards Mrs. Parkinson, extending his arms towards her with a clear wish in mind.

“That’s Cassiopeia Parkinson. She works with your Dad. Do you want to be in her arms?”

“Yeah!”

Lily turned so she would be able to pass Harry over more easily. The other witch accepted Lily’s little boy with the practised ease of an adult who was around a toddler on a regular basis.

“You’re already a big boy, aren’t you?” Mrs. Parkinson asked, swaying slightly, smiling.

“Do we want to go over to the lions?” Tom and Lord Malfoy had made it back to them. Lily could see how happy Tom was. He clearly enjoyed this family outing. “Harry looks like he could use a little break. He might even be able to sleep for a time.” Tom turned towards Harry and started hissing, which caused Harry to let go of the strand of hair he somehow had gotten into his little hands. Mrs. Parkinson stiffened the moment Harry started hissing back and was visibly relieved when Tom took him back. A few moments later, Harry was placed in his pram, and the five of them started to walk towards the lions.

Lily didn’t mind, and it didn’t look like either Abraxas Malfoy or Mrs. Parkinson were even contemplating objecting. Tom’s word was an order, even when he didn’t phrase it that way. It was odd. She had seen Severus go down on his knees before Tom, whom her friend had called _my Lord_. It was getting more real, now that she had started interacting with more of his followers.

Thinking back to the day of the attack, Lily had to admit at least to herself, that she had known on some level that she was able to wield Tom’s position just by proximity. She wasn’t sure she liked that, but she had better learn to accept it and work with that reality.

“And after we have seen the lions we’ll visit the snakes?” Lily asked, throwing a playful look in Tom’s direction.

He smirked, and then laughed. “I know they have birds here. So eagles are easy to find. But do they have badgers?”

“I don’t know.” This was something Lily was familiar with. She relaxed, grinning from ear to ear. “But I’m sure we’ll be able to find out.”

“What do you think, Abraxas. Do you think we’ll be able to find the animals representing the four houses here?” Tom was walking next to the pram, looking up from a sleeping Harry. Walking around with those short legs must be really tiring.

“The London Zoo is one of the oldest. Why shouldn’t they have some badgers here? Aren’t they endangered in the wild because of growing population density and growing use of fields for agriculture?”

Lily was surprised how much Abraxas Malfoy knew about the muggle part of Britain. She sighed, drawing the attention of all three other adults. Tom gave her a questioning look, and Lily rubbed one hand over her face, the other one still on the handle of the pram. “Do you know how hard it is to know how to address all the people I suddenly have to interact with? You tend to call them all by their first names. But I can’t really do that, or rather I don’t feel right doing that without being invited to do so. Quite a few are older than me. It simply feels like not the polite thing to do.” She shrugged, and concentrated on her sleeping boy. She was doing all of this for him. Maybe she had started to understand why it might be a good idea to support Tom in his quest, but her main motivation was to make sure that her little Harry would get the opportunity to grow up with a mother and father in a peaceful environment.

“And I didn’t tell you my preferences in regards to how you should refer to me in front of all those people.” Tom was scarily insightful from time to time. No wonder he had gathered so many followers. “I’m sorry.” That brought a small cough from Lord Malfoy, and another stiffening of Mrs. Parkinson. He probably didn’t do something like this all that often.

“You may call me Tom when talking with others. And if you don’t feel comfortable with calling anyone by their given name before they have extended that privilege to you, you don’t need to. Just because I do so, there is no reason for you to do the same.”

Lily gave him a grateful smile. She had tried to learn all those rules and unwritten customs before she had married James. Now that she had managed that part – minus all those traditions James and their friends had deemed old-fashioned and unimportant – she felt she needed to exercise them.

“Then let me officially ask you to call me Abraxas.” The blond wizard gave her a friendly smile and a wink as she nodded and answered with the customary, “Then please call me Lily.”

“I guess it’s cumbersome to insist on last names and titles. Please call me Cassiopeia, Lily. I hope that we’ll have several occasions to talk with each other when our children play together.” It felt odd being used to gain a better standing in a group of people, but Lily guessed that was her life now. Tom was the head of it all, she was the mother of his son. It was natural that his people would see her as a way to gain favour and better their position. Maybe she should ask Severus for advice on how to navigate such an environment. Gryffindor Tower never had been like that.

“We can see if they become friends. I certainly will not force Harry, or any other child for that matter, to play with someone they don’t like.” But the children probably would be forced to interact with each other, regardless of her plans and preferences.

They reached the enclosure where the lions were kept. They were sleeping in sunny spots, interesting to see, but not very interesting to watch for very long.

“Well, those are not very interesting,” Abraxas stated, hands clasped behind his back. “Are the lions up in the tower as lethargic as these ones?”

Lily rolled her eyes at him, and quickly checked on Harry. “No. The opposite really. But as the majority of Gryffindors at Hogwarts are children and teenagers, I don’t think that that’s a surprise. And I’m sure that the snakes won’t be any more active than they need to be. If we want to see animals actually doing something, we probably need to be there when they get food. Or maybe go to one of the monkey species.”

Tom laughed. “Let’s have a look at some dozing snakes. But I know that Lily is correct. They don’t move much except to hunt, search for a warmer spot to rest, or mate. Being able to talk to them isn’t all that exciting after the first few encounters. They’re anything but witty conversationalists.”

They strolled around the Zoo, visiting different animals, playing with Harry on the playground once he woke up, and then even got something to eat.

Once they were home again, Lily relaxed in the library, reading some more of the notes, while Tom took care of bathing Harry and doing everything else needed to get their son into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I selected the London Zoo for a family outing. I guess I’ll have to search a little to find more interesting places all over Britain where a family might go and that people would be able to find if interested. Anyone from Britain any ideas?  
> To everyone celebrating have a Merry Christmas and if I don’t post another chapter before then have a good start into the new year 2021. May it be a better one for all of us.
> 
> First published 21st of December 2020
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	22. Chapter 25 - Small Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish you all a very Happy New Year 2021. I‘m crossing my fingers that it will bring more good than bad to all of us.

On the way to the inheritance office – a little office attached to the Wizengamot administration – Tom noticed a commotion in the entrance hall, near the fountain, and ventured closer to see what that was about.

A man with red hair, probably in his early thirties, was yelling at a man with dark hair and a slight build that had turned his back towards Tom. A group was gathering around, and over all the commotion it wasn’t easy to understand what was said. Behind that red-headed wizard stood another two, identical looking ones. The Prewett twins, whom Tom had seen last when he had been posing as a Squib before the Order. Then the yelling wizard probably was Arthur Weasley, the one who had moved into the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office. One of the suspected Order members.

A few subtle spells cleared a way for Tom to get closer to the altercation, so he could hear more and see the wizard being yelled at.

“I have a family to support! My six sons, my wife, and the little one still on the way! What do you expect me to do? Let them starve? I will not risk my job, Sirius! Leave me be!” The red of the man’s face did clash rather harshly with the red of his hair.

A few steps sideways cleared the line of sight for Tom to see that the other wizard, in auror robes, was indeed Sirius Black, known member of the Order of the Phoenix, even though they had no evidence.

If that wasn’t a failed attempt at recruitment, Tom didn’t know from the looks of it what else it could be. It seemed as if Sirius Black wanted something from Weasley and was putting pressure on him. Familial obligations seemed more important to the younger Weasley than whatever the Order wanted from him. Not that Tom had any idea what a member of the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts could possibly do that an Auror wasn’t able to do. But it was good to know that Arthur Weasley and his family probably could be counted as grudgingly neutral as long as the family wasn’t put in any danger.

As Tom didn’t plan to return to terror as a method of achieving his goals, that probably would be a distinct possibility. It was more likely that the Order would manage to push all the Weasleys and the Prewetts away if they kept using the same tactics which had had that effect on Lily.

Deciding to go with the old adage never to interrupt your enemy when he was making an error, Tom moved through the crowd away from the loud disagreement, towards the elevators. He had invented his Squib persona to be linked to the Gaunt family, and now planned to see what he needed to do to get the old family seat back. Making himself known to the Wizengamot had only been the very first step. It was going to be a nightmare of bureaucratic hoops to jump through but it hopefully would bear useful fruit.

It didn’t take long for Tom to reach the out-of-the-way office. He knocked and entered once a voice had called out from within.

His first impression was one of slowness, dust, and set ways. Even the magic of the wards around the file cabinets felt sluggish. That didn’t bode well.

“You are?” The disinterest with which this question was posed only added to the pile of dread in Tom’s stomach. This was going to be like wading through mud, a constant struggle and lots of dirt.

“Tom Marvolo Riddle junior.” And how it grated to have to say that bastard’s name. Why had his mother decided to name him like that? He really wished he could ask her. But everything he had found on resurrecting a soul via Necromancy just to ask questions had indicated that the price was much too high for such a trivial question. When the simple explanation of her following the naming tradition of combining the father’s name with the name of a grandparent, or other relative was the most likely, anyway.

“There are no Riddle families anywhere in Britain.” Taking a deep breath so that he would be able not to react to the dismissive tone, Tom concentrated on his goal. He was here for a reason and he would stuff his pride into a box and shove it to the back of his mind, if it would get him what he wanted.

One caught a lot more flies with honey than vinegar.

“That is true, but my mother was a witch from an old family. Her family name was Gaunt.” He went for confident but charming with his smile, trying to prepare himself for the wall he would probably meet. This would be a lot easier if he could use some magic to help this process along. It wasn’t something he could risk, though. Disputes around family seats usually fell under strict and thorough scrutiny. Something like the Imperius curse would be found out, casting his claim into doubt.

“Gaunt, you say? Can you prove that claim?” Tom thought there might have been a spark of interest in the mostly grey – from hair, to robes, down to his skin – wizard’s eyes. He wasn’t sure. Only the fact that there was not a speck of magic around the man that would indicate any kind of death magic, or necromancy, convinced him that the wizard was actually alive. He was really hard to read.

“I can,” Tom said, pulling out his parents’ marriage certificate, and a copy of his birth announcement from his inner robe pocket. It hadn’t been easy to get those, but they were genuine copies. Once again that pesky problem with the defensive families on the Wizengamot made everything more complicated. Luckily for him the documents hadn’t been destroyed during the blitz.

The wizard accepted the documents – notarized copies, which had been expensive – and waved his wand over them, and from what Tom had read in preparation, the green halo around the papers was confirmation of their authenticity.

“That seems to be in order.” That had been the first hurdle. “A Merope Gaunt did marry a Tom Riddle, and a child was born on the 31st of December in 1926 at Wool’s Orphanage. Named Tom Marvolo Riddle, name of mother unknown.” And there was the problem that would probably take time to resolve.

“I have a written statement from the people at the Orphanage that the woman in question did name her child after the child’s father, and her father.” Tom retrieved that document from his pocket, silently thanking Abraxas who had insisted that Tom secure as many genuine documents as he could, that would help prove his ancestry. There was magic that could help trace one’s lineage. Sadly, most of that had been banned by the Ministry a few generations back. Another thing that would be changed once their position was a little more secure.

While Tom had been at school, all of Slytherin House had joked that the ban had happened because the Minister of that time needed to either hide his own questionable ancestry, or wanted to make it impossible to identify him as the father of a few children born to single mothers.

“I would need to check the archives for those people and confirm that they actually did exist. If you leave contact information, I’ll inform you once I have either verified your connection to the Gaunt family or refuted it.”

Chanting _I need to be calm, this will take time, can’t lose my temper_ over and over again to himself, Tom smiled again, taking up the self inking quill – as grey and dusty as the rest of the office – and picking up a piece of parchment to write down his name, and Malfoy Manor as a way to contact him. It could not hurt to imply that he had connections. Even though it seemed unlikely that this specific wizard would be susceptible to such manipulation. If it had been the intention to place someone incorruptible in this position, whoever had picked him had been successful.

“Please let me know if you need more information. I’m more than willing to cooperate and provide more information if needed.” Tom knew this would be a trying process, but he had underestimated just how bad it would become. He hadn’t felt this insecure about his parents and circumstances while growing up since he had found proof that he was a direct descendant from Slytherin himself.

“We’ll be in touch.” The wizard didn’t even look up, and dismissed Tom with a negligent wave of his hand. He would need to find a way to get rid of the excess energy fuelled by his frustration when he got home.

When he passed through the entrance hall, the commotion had ended. Neither Sirius Black nor Arthur Weasley, nor the Prewett twins were anywhere to be seen. It was just another working day in the British Ministry of Magic.

Throwing down a pinch of floo powder and calling out the address to Abraxas’ home, Tom was whirled away in the green flames of the floo network.

oooOOooo

When Tom walked into the sitting room, he was soaked in sweat and had a few holes in his robes. Only the tired smile on his face prevented Lily from panicking. Shoving aside the question of why exactly she would feel rising panic over Tom’s possibly being injured, she threw him a questioning look, tilting her head to the side.

Harry stood up in the same moment and started to walk over to his father, shouting something unintelligible but enthusiastic, extending his arms over his head.

The tired smile transformed into a more tender, happier version, as Tom bent down to pick up Harry and turn in a quick circle. “Hello, little one.” Her heart filled with warmth, happiness radiating out from there, filling her up. She loved seeing the two of them interacting. They both were happy, and she wanted them to be happy.

Lily stood as well and followed Tom to the seating area around a table near the fireplace.

“Why do you look like you’ve been involved in a fight?” They settled down so that they could comfortably talk, Harry placed on Tom’s lap. Her little boy turned just moments later so he could reach Tom’s hair and the locket he always wore. The one that was enchanted to call and control the people tied to him through their mark. Harry loved to play with the jewellery people were wearing.

“Because I kind of was in a fight. Abraxas and I engaged in a practice duel. Lots of dodging and running. He worked with water. I had the brilliant idea of freezing it. After that we both were sliding around a lot.” He chuckled, his arms casually slung around their son. “I’m looking forward to a long, warm bath.”

“You don’t usually duel for fun, do you?” She hadn’t noticed anything of that kind. But he did go over to his Headquarters regularly, so maybe she had just missed it.

He threw her a grin. “Not usually, no. I do practice, because I do need to be able to defend myself and others.” He didn’t need to go into any more detail. He was working on, and succeeding in, overtaking their government from the inside and through violent actions. That didn’t happen without creating enemies. “But today I needed a way to get rid of the stress. Really, one would think the official in charge of the inheritance office was placed there by a vengeful individual planning to make life harder for everyone that might need something from that office.”

His voice was laced with contempt, fatigue, and resigned acceptance, a peculiar mix that made Lily frown in confusion. “I know you said you planned to go to the Ministry, but why would you need to go to that particular office? Don’t they deal with sorting out claims for the distribution of stuff people leave behind when they die and don’t have Wills and such?”

Tom nodded, wincing a little when Harry pulled on his hair. Lily hadn’t noticed in a long time how nice his hair was. “That’s some of what they do. But they also are responsible for verifying any claims of familial relationship people might come up with.” He freed his hair from Harry’s hand and conjured a small toy that he presented to the boy instead.

“Like some random person claiming to be related to… I don’t know… the Blacks, for instance?”

Tom nodded. “Exactly like that. While posing as a Squib has served me well so far, if I want to return to society as a… law abiding member, who actually can influence anything,” Lily snorted and got a wink in response from Tom, “I do need to establish my family connections. I am a descendant of Slytherin, maybe the last, or at least one of only a few. And I’m pretty sure I’m the last of the Gaunt family. Not counting Harry, of course. There is a Gaunt family seat on the Wizengamot still on the books.”

Lily nodded, not needing any more explanation. It would help Tom with his goals to have a direct way to influence political processes through a seat on the Wizengamot. “How long do unclaimed seats stay on the books?” She remembered that James had told her something about that practice once when the Headmaster had suggested they try to find descendants of families with vacant seats to change their odds in the Wizengamot.

“It’s fifty years after a seat is left empty. Luckily for me, it’s not counted from the last time it was used. If that were the case, the Gaunt seat would have been off the books for several decades by now. There hasn’t been a Slytherin seat for several hundred years because of that rule, and the Gaunt seat hasn’t been voted since the late 1880s. But my grandfather, Marvolo Gaunt, did claim it when his own father died.” Lily hummed. She hadn’t really looked into Tom’s family situation. The Headmaster always had hinted at the fact he had known Voldemort before he became Voldemort, but he had been strangely reluctant to tell them more. And now it felt intrusive to ask for details.

One thing she knew for sure, though, was that Tom didn’t think highly of his own father and that his mother had died in childbirth.

“So you went to start that process? Do you have any idea how long it will take?”

Tom heaved a sigh. “I have no idea. Or rather I fear that it will drag on well into next year. And that’s only the very first step. After I have proven that I am indeed are related to the last holder of the Gaunt seat, I’ll have to fulfil the rules set down for the eligibility of the seat. And I will not be able to get the actual wording of it till I am accepted by the office as a possible candidate. All I have currently are half-remembered references and rumours.”

Lily furrowed her brow again. “Like what?”

“For instance, that only wizards have held the Gaunt seat for the last several generations. But that doesn’t necessarily translate into only wizards being eligible.”

Lily hummed. That made sense, if only a member of the family was able to look at the rules as held by the office of inheritance, then everyone else could only share what they had witnessed.

“What other rumours have you heard?”

Tom got a far-away look, recalling what he had been told. “All who held the seat have had at least one son. Also for several generations. They all have been purebloods, to the point of inbreeding. Think marriages between cousins and the like.” They both made grimaces of distaste. Lily supposed one couldn’t really choose who they fell in love with. But arranged marriages between cousins to keep the family _pure_ … that was just wrong. “I suspect that being a Parselmouth plays a role. But currently I don’t have any evidence. At least I will have no trouble paying the fees.”

Lily snorted and shook her head. “That’s so classist. Not only does one need to come from a family who gained a seat on the Wizengamot in the past, but there also needs to be enough money that the fees can be paid. They are a one-time deal, right?”

“No. To claim a seat one needs to pay a one-time fee, but to be able to vote and sit for a court hearing, one needs to contribute to the upkeep of the Ministry budgets. There isn’t an actual amount written down anywhere, but there is one expected.” Tom leant back in his seat, Harry snuggling close, placing his head on Tom’s chest.

“As I said, classist.”

“I don’t disagree. Looking at how vacated seats are redistributed once the time is up, it gets even worse.” Tom smirked when Lily looked at him thinking on how the whole mess could get even worse. “Most of them are given to the highest bidder. There are a few instances where seats were given to someone of note. Researchers, diplomats, fighters of one kind or another. Most of those happened before our world separated from the muggle one. When a king assigned titles and the like.”

“I’m crossing my fingers that you will not have your patience test too much.”

Tom started laughing at that until tears were running down his face. It took him a while to calm down again, and Lily caught herself looking at him, wishing that he had never tried terrorism to change their world, and that she had met him before James had managed to sweep her off her feet.

Through all this Harry didn’t even stir.

“Thank you, Lily. I think I needed that.” He chuckled. “Poor Abraxas, he’ll have to be my sparring partner again and again through all of this.”

“As long as he can shoot back, you only use stuff that can be healed, and you ask first, I get the feeling that he’ll enjoy those duelling sessions.” That had been her impression the few times that she had interacted with Abraxas Malfoy so far.

Having exhausted the topic of the long and arduous process of claiming a seat on the Wizengamot, Lily moved on to another topic she felt they needed to discuss. “I assume that you’ll be going to the midsummer celebration later this month?”

“I have been invited, and plan to go,” Tom answered, settling back even more. Harry was likely to sleep for a while. “Do you want to come?”

Was there hope in his voice?

Lily nodded. “I think that I want to. Together with Yule, this seems to be a rather… approachable celebration. Having the opportunity to take part and bring Harry sounds like a good idea. And the fact that the Malfoys will be hosting the celebration… I think I will feel more at ease there.”

A small smile made Tom look a lot softer. “You’re aware that the number of people attending will be large? And there will be people who are not bound to be loyal to me. Lucius as Minister will have to invite quite a few Ministry officials and their families.”

Lily swallowed. She had known on some level, but spoken so plainly it had much more of an impact. “We do agree that I can’t hide forever.”

“But do you want to reveal your connection to me in such a public manner?” And now he seemed worried, his eyes trained on her.

“That probably would cause quite the commotion.” Lily sighed. Was there a way to avoid that scandal?

“Not if we do this right.” Lily looked back up, willing to listen. “James Potter was infertile. His close friends knew. They might have told more people. You could bring that information into circulation a little more. I could make sure that others learn of the rumour from various sources that are plausible. The Auror department, other Ministry workers. That potion is well known, if not spoken about.” Lily had a feeling she knew where this was going. “If we start this preparation now, people will assume that you and James agreed to use the potion and picked me, maybe even together, to be the donor. Your searching me out after James di… was killed would not look as odd as you might fear.”

Somehow the fact that Tom was blushing and had managed to catch that almost-blunder of playing down the murder of James, made Lily feel better. “I still have trouble wrapping my head around the fact that it’s used that widely.” She shook her head, then caught a strand of hair from her ponytail, twirling it around her fingers.

Tom tried to sit up, reaching for Lily’s other hand, which was resting on the armrest of the loveseat she had chosen. He had to cease his attempts with a huff because Harry was effectively pinning him in place. Lily chuckled and laughed when Tom scowled at her, not able to hold the angry face for long.

Tapping the pointer finger of her left hand against her lips, Lily spun the plan a little further. “Maybe we should inform more of your own people of Harry’s existence and my identity? They’ll learn about it rather quickly after that celebration anyway, and that way you could avoid someone feeling offended at being considered less important?”

The glare Tom sent her now had a little more heat behind it, but was tucked away with a sigh. “I could introduce you in the coming days. Maybe inform them of the existence of my son first. Some of them know about you already.”

Lily nodded, and than got up to walk around the table and sit down beside Tom and the still-sleeping Harry, carefully carding her hand through the silky hair. “That does sound like a plan that should work.”

Now that he could reach her Tom placed his hand on her arm, giving it a light squeeze. “You do know that people will start to put pressure on us... well, mostly you probably, to marry? It’s an antiquated notion, but wizarding Britain is pretty old-fashioned concerning roles when it comes to families and children.”

Lily patted Tom’s hand on her arm, enjoying the warmth of the hand. “Yes. I do know. And I assure you I won’t fold under that pressure again. Once the situation is a little more stable and the Order is no longer a problem, I do want to get my Mastery. I have a feeling that you won’t stand in my way.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Tom said with so much sincerity that Lily needed to look at him closely in an attempt to decide if he was teasing her.

Tom raised his free hand, eyes going big. “I mean it. You’re your own woman and very gifted with Charms and Enchanting. You want to work for a Mastery, you should get your chance to work to obtain one or more.”

“Thank you, Tom. It’s good to hear that. I know it’s easier to have children while younger. But right out of school? My sister would call such a woman a slut, or a gold-digger.” She sighed. In fact, both terms had been in the answer to the wedding invitation. It was unlikely that she would ever see Petunia again.

Their hands found each other again, and they sat in silence for a while, holding hands.

Their cosy moment was interrupted when the door opened seemingly on its own, before Nagini came into view. It always was fascinating how such a big snake moved forward, or climbed upwards as she was doing now.

The big – scarily big – snake slithered its way up onto the backrest, across Tom’s shoulders, her head close to Harry’s head, flicking her tongue out against the sleeping boy’s hair.

“Nagini asks if it isn’t time to eat. And if she can play with _the hatchling_ once the meal is finished,” Tom translated the hissing, or whatever it was, from Nagini she could not hear.

Lily snorted, amused that Tom translated _hatchling_ for Harry while he tended to refine the words for everything else. She assumed that he did that to amuse her. “Please tell her that while it is time for the evening meal, Harry is currently sleeping and if we wake him now he’ll be cranky. But after he wakes and we have eaten they can play together.”

Tom hissed, now in a range that was audible for Lily, and the snake made her way out of the room once he was finished. “She said she’ll be in the library and we should get her there.”

Lily was sure there was no word for _**library**_ in Parseltongue. Why would a snake have a word for that?

“Thank you for being so accepting of my familiar.” Tom spoke very quietly, stroking up and down Harry’s back. “I know that she’s really big and tends to frighten people.”

Lily smiled and leant closer to Tom, pretending to peer at Harry. Tom did smell like sport and activity, but not bad. “She’s a familiar, I know such animals are different from their wild counterparts. And I know that you wouldn’t risk Harry, so you’re convinced she’s safe and won’t harm him. I might not be sure about many things, but I do know without a doubt that you would do anything to keep our Harry safe.”

They shared a long intense look, before Lily stood and scooped Harry up off of Tom. “You might want to take a shower, or that long bath, before Harry wakes and dinner is served.”

“That’s probably a good idea. I’ll be down again soon.” His hand slid along her arm as he stood and left.

Lily stood there by the loveseat, wondering about the lingering feeling of his fingers on her arm.

Where were they going?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the ideas on where one can go with children to have a nice day out. We’ll see where they will fit.  
> Take care!
> 
> First published 1st of January 2021
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	23. Chapter 26 - Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m aiming for a chapter a month. And as January already feels so very long have another one.

Lily pocketed the portkey Tom had arranged somehow – a small and pretty pebble – and put her wand into the wrist sheath that she was carrying pretty much every day. Harry had developed an interest in wands, and it wasn’t a good idea to let a toddler get their hands on a wand. Tom was downstairs minding Harry while reading. In fact Tom was supervising Nagini minding _the hatchling_. As far as Lily knew, snakes didn’t usually care for their eggs once they were laid, or any of their offspring. Nagini wasn’t the average snake, though.

With a sigh, Lily made her way to the coat rack by the door, picking up her light summer coat and a witche’s hat with a few flowers attached to its brim. The fashion had changed again and she didn’t want to attract any attention by not wearing a common accessory.

She apparated to a small alley off of Diagon Alley, and then made her way into the street proper, seamlessly joining the crowds of people populating the shopping district. It seemed that the attack on the bakery didn’t have any lingering bad influences on the willingness of people spending time here.

Remus and she were to meet in another offshoot of the main street, one that mostly held buildings with small flats and smaller stores as well as food stalls. Not everyone was able to live in lavish manors, cottages, or houses in one of the magical settlements.

When Lily reached the pre-arranged spot, Remus was already there. Pacing up and down, fidgeting with his wand, all in all he was attracting quite a bit of attention. People were looking down on him from their windows in the buildings on both sides of the street.

“Do you want to draw attention?” she asked him under her breath, walking by him and grabbing his arm to drag him along. “You couldn’t have stood more to the side, maybe bought something to eat?”

He looked sheepish and fell into step with her after stumbling a few seconds. “I’m sorry, Lily. I’ve been nervous the whole morning. Ever since we agreed to meet here to be exact.”

Lily supposed she could understand that. She slipped him the portkey, feeling the smooth surface and remembering the fine lines that went all around it. “This will take you to a Potter property in Greece. It’s a small estate. A house, a stable, a grove of cork oak. The previous head of staff there died last winter. It will be your job to take care of the house, the house-elves and squibs working there, the grove and everything else that needs to be taken care of. In exchange you will live there, use the warded grove to transform on the full moons.” She waved her hand to imply all the other benefits someone in such a position would naturally gain. “You’ll accept the monthly pay, I don’t want to hear any arguing. And you will need to leave today. In fact you will need to leave in the next fifteen minutes. After that the portkey will no longer work.”

Remus seemed surprised, he was very quiet at least. They walked another dozen steps, or so, before he said anything in reaction to Lily’s explanation of her plan. “That’s why you said I should bring everything I wanted to take along.” He swallowed audibly. “I don’t think I’m qualified for such a position.”

“Nonsense.” Lily interrupted Remus’ rant before he could get going. His tendency to put himself down probably wasn’t healthy, but it certainly was getting on her nerves. “You’re smart and not so stuck up that you would ignore the advice and information from the people who have worked there for many years. You can learn to care for that estate, Remus.” She gave him a stern glare and then turned her head to look forward in the direction they were walking in.

“Thank you.” Remus’ voice was filled with gratitude and wobbled. “I don’t know how I can ever repay such kindness.”

“If you really insist on doing something in return, take good care of that place for Harry’s sake. I certainly can use the help to keep the Potter estate in good condition for him to take over once he is old enough.” Lily came to a stop, almost at the end of the small nameless street, where the wards around Diagon were thin enough to not take note of an international portkey leaving. She extended one hand and touched Remus at the elbow of one arm. “Write some time. Enjoy the weather. Relax.”

“Thank you.” Remus gave her a small bow, probably would have bowed deeper if he had dared after her rant about him drawing attention, and then spoke the activation phrase she had send with the letter arranging this meeting. “Take me away from here.”

He vanished in a swirl of colour, leaving Lily standing there by herself.

She took a deep breath, happy that she had managed to get Remus out of his uncomfortable position as a so-called dark creature among wizards and witches who were steadily sliding into deeper and deeper pits of extremism.

Now she needed to go back to Diagon to buy some robes for more formal occasions. She had a few, back at Potter Manor, but all of them were in Potter family colours that flattered her and didn’t clash with her hair. Now that she was to be tied to another wizard, soon to be known as Tomas Gaunt in the upper echelons of society, it didn’t seem proper to wear those. She would get some in newer cuts in more flattering colours, and with less gold embroidery. Maybe some greens – not Slytherin green though; that would be a little too much on the nose – and blues, or fall colours, browns and mossy greens. The options were practically limitless.

She stepped through the door hearing the cheerful chiming of a bell, calling for one of the people working here. Lily walked over to where a bunch of samples was artfully arranged on a table covered in rich carvings. She had been in other stores like this one. High-end clothing stores, everything tailored, cloth of the best quality. Magic made tailoring clothes easier, but those without sufficient funds to spend on more clothes than really needed, still didn’t really come here. The clothes tended not to be all that practical for common chores.

“Welcome,” Lily turned to the witch – dressed in practical robes of the latest fashion – who came in through a door or archway hidden behind dark drapes and nodded. “How may I help you?”

Lily sighed and steeled herself for the ordeal that was about to start. She loved browsing for clothes, but all that tailored clothing entailed was nothing like that. “I need robes, frocks, and accessories for the upcoming summer festivities.” Tom had said that Lucius Malfoy had told him that Narcissa had insisted this would lead to Lily’s getting outfitted with all that a proper witch would need for a midsummer celebration. And some more mundane afternoon teas as well.

The silliness of that chain of communication brought a smile to her face, which was answered by the brown-haired witch with the professionalism of a person working in retail. “Of course, Lady Potter. If you would be so kind as to follow me?” She briskly moved towards another set of drapes which opened to show a softly lit fitting room. There were several floor-to-ceiling mirrors, a small platform in the middle of the room, and a few smaller cabinets between the mirrors, littered with various tools.

Lily walked in behind the witch, and stepped onto the platform when asked to do so.

It was as much of an ordeal has Lily had expected. She was asked about cuts, length of skirts and sleeves, fullness of both, what colours she would want, and so on and so on.

After six robe/frock combinations had been agreed upon, the witch, who had introduced herself as Rosalind, switched to another, related topic and asked. “What flowers do you want to use in your wreath?”

It took a moment for Lily to process that question. It took quite a few moments more for her to come up with an answer. She hadn’t bothered to check if different flowers might be attributed with different meanings, or anything else which could lead to misunderstandings or embarrassment. “I’m not yet sure. Probably something simple, and definitely nothing red.” Some wildflowers might be good, something with delicate petals. “Yarrow, Marigolds, Arnica… I guess I’ll see what catches my eye.” Lily shrugged, really feeling wrong-footed.

“Something natural and not too over the top then.” Rosalind nodded. “I would recommend a sheer, white linen over-robe and a slim skirt, not too voluminous, and maybe a sleeveless tunika, both in sunny yellow, maybe?”

In theory that idea sounded good, but the search for the shade of yellow that was exactly right did take longer than she would have preferred. And once that problem was tackled, the accessories and underwear were the next item on the list.

“You will not need a parasol for most occasions, but if you expect to be invited to a formal summer party, or excursion to the countryside, you might want to purchase one.”

Lily sighed, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “I don’t expect to be invited to something like that in the coming months, and if I should be wrong, I guess I’ll have to transfigure something.” She was pretty sure she would be able to manage that well enough that it would hold up for an afternoon.

“That will certainly work,” was the perfectly polite reaction. Lily idly wondered if the witches working here got a commission from clothes they sold. It would be a good explanation for the other woman’s eagerness to sell her so many robes, skirts, and blouses on top of the frocks. Selecting the right cut of underwear – underpants and vests, bras – was easy in comparison.

Several hours later, and very hungry, Lily left the store, several bags slung over her arm. She only was taking the underwear and ready-made accessories, like gloves, little summer hats, gauzy scarves, and socks, home right now. All the other clothes would be finished and then picked up by a house elf in the next days.

On her way down Diagon Alley, walking fast to get home, Lily noticed several people following her with their eyes. A few people even changed direction to follow her down the street for a while. Witches looked at her and bent closer to others, obviously whispering about her.

She sighed and reminded herself that while Tom had planned to talk with his people to set their rumour spreading into motion, he hadn’t done so yet. He was looking after Harry and would leave only after she was home again.

Those people were talking about her being out here, after she had been hidden away for several months with only a few exceptions, all of which had ended with something violent. And all that after her husband had been killed. People were prone to being nosy. It was nothing new.

But Lily was still happy once she had reached a designated apparation point from where she spun away towards home. The day had been long enough.

oooOOooo

Standing up on a dais in less formal robes than usual, Tom surveyed his people gathering one by one, drifting to their usual positions to stand next to the usual people. Severus was one of the last to enter the gathering hall. Funny how people close to wherever a meeting was to take place tended to be the last to arrive.

Once again he was nervous. According to the plan Lily and he had made, every one of the people standing before him would know about their relationship and Harry after this meeting. He really hoped that he would feel better, more free, after this was done.

“I have called you all here for a very specific reason.” He didn’t tend to call everyone all at once often, and hadn’t done so in quite some time. “Some of you already know of what I want to tell you. All others will probably be surprised or even shocked. I want to remind you that interruptions will be punished, and that you’re not to tell anyone anything that I don’t approve of first.”

“Now that the Order of the Phoenix is starting to fall apart, and the resistance in our community is diminishing, I can strive to reach for my rightful place in the Wizengamot.” He folded his hands behind his back, taking a deep breath, slowly letting go of the tension in his shoulders. “A few months ago I learned of my son.”

A ripple went through the crowd of people standing before him, like a forest stirred by a gust of wind.

“That he even exists is a miracle. That I have become a part of his life seems even less likely.” Maybe he needed to simply get it done. “Harry is not yet two years old, his mother is Lily Potter, née Evans.” And despite his implicit order to not do anything stupid some of his followers couldn’t contain their exclamations of shock and surprise.

And Tom smirked. He liked being able to surprise people. Now on to the explanations and the plan to get the rumours started.

“When we met, neither of us knew who the other was. It was highly unlikely that we would be at the same place at the same time, let alone that place in particular.” Once again Tom explained, in broad strokes, how it had come to be that he now had a son. Obviously he didn’t include his wish for more than Lily and he currently had, but he did put a lot of emphasis on another point. “James Potter was infertile. Not willing to contemplate that possibility, he put a lot of pressure on his wife, causing the first seeds of doubt to take root.” He brushed over the night he had killed James Potter and the start of the communication between him and Lily.

“We have come to an understanding and plan to reveal our connection and the fact that James Potter was not the father of his heir during the Malfoy Midsummer celebration.” And now on to the part that would set into motion what they needed to find acceptance and keep the scandal small. “As my civil identity is already linked to Lily Potter as a friend in the eyes of some Order members, we decided to go with the usual story. A husband infertile, a wife willing to do what it takes to give the family an heir. A friend willing to be of assistance.” That should be enough that the people listening would be able to draw the right conclusions.

“To prepare the ground, I want everyone working in or close with the Auror Department in the Ministry to slowly spread rumours. I’m sure I don’t need to explain how. For the content, stick to questions about James Potter’s health. I know for a fact that he was exposed to quite a few dangerous hexes and curses. Even some retribution while he was still in school. I want the idea that James Potter might have had problems siring any children to be in the public’s head when it is revealed that Lily Potter’s son is not James Potter’s.”

After that topic had been closed, Tom moved on to ask for reports, gave more explicit orders for people asking for clarification, and then dismissed everyone.

He rolled his eyes and heaved a dramatic sigh when a small group of individuals didn’t leave but moved to meet him. “Shall I hand out numbers to make sure you all get your turn speaking with me?”

Severus stiffened, clearly uneasy even though he had felt secure enough to approach Tom. “Lily is running errands and Harry is at home, watched only by one of the elves. If you would be willing to once more fill the role of babysitter, I would be thankful.” He didn’t include that Severus probably wanted to talk with Lily about the plan and his crush on Regulus Black. That was private information that would embarrass Severus if others learned of it. He needed to see if there was a way for Severus to return to a life free from the restrictions that had come after he had been exposed as one of Tom’s spies.

“Thank you, my Lord.” The young Potion Master bowed, clearly aware of the position of trust he was afforded. He was trusted with Tom’s heir without supervision. The man walked away in a flurry of swirling robes, a trick Tom had seen the young man practice in a corridor when he had thought he was alone. It wasn’t any less impressive knowing that. In fact, it made it more so. Severus Snape put a lot of effort into overcoming his inferior origins.

Abraxas waited a few steps behind the others who were approaching, his mask dangling from his hand, arms crossed over his chest, a smirk on his face. He was probably internally dancing that Tom was following his advice on how to get closer to Lily.

The surprise among those who had come forward to talk with Tom in a less open forum were the Blacks. Current and former. Arcturus, current head of the House of Black and older than Tom, stood there, his grey eyes on Tom’s form in contemplation. Bellatrix and her husband stood behind him, as did Regulus. None of the other Blacks were actually marked followers.

“I haven’t properly thanked you yet for guiding my family in the right direction to regain Magic’s blessing.” Tom inclined his head in acceptance of the thanks and praise. “The Tonks family and their daughter are valuable additions to the family. The girl is a Metamorphmagus, a talent we thought lost now returned.” The older wizard gave a deep bow towards Tom, followed by all the others standing there. They did bow rather regularly, but this was different, loaded with more reverence, a promise of true loyalty.

Tom had been aware that the Blacks, an influential old family, had seen him as a way to get their goals pushed. He had constructed more than a small part of his rhetoric around the Blacks’ beliefs about the reason for the start of the diminishing talents in old families. Now it looked like Arcturus was willing to admit that they had been wrong.

“It took embarrassingly long to see what Magic has been trying to tell us for quite some time,” Tom answered when they all came back up from their bows. “In fact it took a meeting with a woman I thought was a muggle to start me on a path of contemplation. Did you know the last Gaunts?” He got head shakes and murmured denials from those still there. “They were barely wizards. My mother could barely do much more than brew potions. And still, here I am.” He opened his arms to his sides, indicating all of himself. “My father was a muggle. Clearly something about the Gaunts marrying inside their family wasn’t working the way they thought it would.” He felt the smile as it formed, not attempting to hide it. “My son shows a great deal of promise. Intelligent, the family talent present and strong, already showing signs of magic with surprising control.”

“May I ask what kind of agreement there is between yourself and the mother of your son?” Could it be that Arcturus Black was searching for a way to draw Sirius Black, named heir of the House, back into the embrace of the family?

“She sought out my protection when the Order started to threaten her. Before that, she had started to ask questions as I had offered information. She has spent considerable amounts of time translating the documents I have found. She needed to see if my claims had a basis she could accept as genuine.” He grinned. “Getting a second opinion on my interpretation has proven to be a useful contribution. Mostly she wasn’t happy with our methods, but she sees the repression of culture as something horrible.” Tom smiled again. “She knows that our culture is being repressed, and agrees that the high elves left behind their traditions and rituals of thanks and ended up as house-elves. I’m pretty sure she is not convinced that Magic has given us this gift and we are to thank her. But she certainly is willing to learn of the culture that should be hers. That the Order has moved this far away from their original path has helped.” His slowly chipping away at the preconceived notions seemed to be working. He needed to keep going at a steady pace, and he might get somewhere.

“Thank you, my Lord, for helping us see.” With a last bow the Blacks retreated and left Tom alone with Abraxas. Lucius had been one of the few who had not been present. As Minister of Magic, he had had other duties.

“Well, congratulations on getting her to agree to being linked to you in public.” Abraxas clapped a hand on Tom’s shoulder.

Tom and he rolled his eyes at his friend, again. “You know that you are ridiculous, don’t you?”

Abraxas snorted, a sparkle in his eyes that had been there when Tom had seen the other for first time at Hogwarts, and that had been there a lot in recent weeks. “I know. Can’t I be happy for a friend? Lily is a witch who can stand up to you, be a true partner. That’s not true of any of your followers, or anyone belonging to their families. I’m not even sure that there is another witch out there who can be a true partner for you. And you do deserve a true partner.” There was a melancholic smile on his friend’s face, and Tom heaved a sigh.

“That she is willing to be seen with me in public doesn’t indicate any willingness on her part to enter a romantic relationship with me.” Tom was sure that he would manage to get there given enough time, but that was the one risk that he wasn’t willing to take. Losing Harry because he overstepped his boundaries was not something that he was willing to risk. And there also was the promise he had made that he would let Lily set the pace of anything developing between them.

“Are you really that dense?” Abraxas asked, clearly exasperated. “What I saw during that visit to the zoo indicates that there is interest from her side as well.” The thoughtful look on the other’s face didn’t bode well for Tom. “I’m sure I can arrange it so that you and Lily will have plenty of opportunities to dance. If there is a way to express an interest without saying a word, it’s dancing.”

“If you say so.” They parted ways and Tom returned home, where Severus was playing with Harry, affording Tom time to take a bath and then relax, reading in the library.

It was several hours later that Lily came home, walking into the library, arms full of bags filled with what Tom assumed was clothing. She let the bags slide to the floor, let herself fall into an armchair, huffing out her breath. “Getting clothes tailored is not a lot of fun.”

“I agree,” Tom said, lowering the book he was reading to look at Lily. “But it is necessary. And well tailored clothes are comfortable.”

“I will have to take your word for that. My parents didn’t have the money to buy me tailored robes for Hogwarts. Once I had married, not much changed. I got higher quality muggle clothes, but nothing tailored. And the robes I bought never were that elaborate. Who even uses a parasol in this day and age?”

“High society ladies?” Tom really wasn’t sure. They had magic. If they needed to, they just could conjure or transfigure a parasol or some other kind of shade-providing implement. He tilted his head and hummed in contemplation. “I guess not everyone is able to create such big objects through transfiguration or conjuration. And even if one could and get it to last long enough, it might not be _fashionable_?”

Lily snorted. “Can you imagine Narcissa Malfoy with a garish parasol? Maybe with wood structure, but in neon green and saffron yellow?”

“Or if she picked up a pebble to transfigure from? Stone texture and grey?” That certainly would be a sight. Probably not Narcissa, though. She was competent in transfiguration, but there were enough witches and wizards around who had trouble with it. Not everyone was usually good at everything.

“Still don’t understand why one would need that kind of accessory.” Lily stretched, groaning as she moved her shoulder muscles to get out some kinks. Tom watched her and felt himself blush when she caught him watching and grinned.

He cleared his throat and shrugged. “I never bothered to investigate why certain fashions developed. The most important part for me was to know what was in fashion at any particular time. Those who are seen as someone important usually keep on top of fashion and are well enough off to follow the trends as they come and go. It’s expensive. Having time to devote to keeping up with fashion also indicates a lifestyle often associated with upper society.”

Lily didn’t look convinced. “I guess.” One of the elves popped in, took charge of the bags, and popped out again without uttering a single word. “How did the meeting go?”

With a sigh Tom conjured a green ribbon to use as a bookmark and placed it between the pages before closing the tome and placing it on the small table next to his chair. “As well as can be expected.” Lily gave him a get-on-with-it look and Tom rolled his eyes at her before continuing with his report on the meeting.

Lily listened attentively, nodding now and again and finally sighed. “So rumours are going to spread from now on? I guess I’ll have to live with it anyway. When I was out today, I noticed people whispering. I can already tell it’s going to get old fast.”

“That’s likely.” And Tom would need to get used to it, too. Currently he could be anonymous if he went out, even without taking special precautions. That was going to change once he was revealed as the wizard picked by Lily Potter to provide the Potter heir.

“Do you want to go release Severus from child-minding duty? We could go collect them and eat something.”

“I want to go take a shower first, if you don’t mind. But I’ll join you later.” Tom wasn’t sure if he had seen that twinkle in her eyes when she left, but decided not to think too much about it, lest he put more meaning into it than had been intended. Patience was the name of the game. Abraxas’ plan was good, he would go with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I had to pick a day in a month to publish what would your preference be? A specific date? Or something like the second Saturday? I think a kind of schedule would be good, but have trouble deciding.
> 
> First published 27st of January 2021
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


	24. Chapter 27 - Midsummer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thank you all for your comments and ideas on what a schedule could look like. I have decided to stick to the second Friday of the month. That should motivate me to write more, as it did with Benefits, and will not be too much to handle at the same time as some of my other projects (not writing). Have fun with the new chapter!

Tom stepped out of the shower, grabbed the towel that was draped over the bathtub, and started to rub his hair dry. He had taken a longer shower, as he had done quite often the last weeks, and now had to hurry a bit. Before Lily and Harry had moved in, he would have gone out to a muggle bar or pub to find some company. Even though his body demanded some more attention, it simply didn’t feel right.

He sighed and started to towel the rest of his body dry. By now he was pretty sure that there was something between Lily and himself. The festivities planned for today would provide the perfect opportunity to flirt. His flirting with Lily would hopefully also discourage some of the more delusional witches and wizards. Tom guessed that it wasn’t the most outrageous assumption that he would be available for a relationship, as he never had been connected to anyone in a romantic way. If he hadn’t participated in sensual activities in the past during the celebrations in the spring the possibility of his being simply not interested at all would have been on the table. But he had, so it wasn’t.

Instead of no-longer-wanted advances – and unwanted advances from some specific individuals – he would probably be asked about when they would marry. Not much he could do about that, as there would be people in attendance who were no followers of his.

The moment he was mostly dry, Tom slipped on the underwear and robes that an elf had placed on his bed for him and stepped up to the mirror with the different care products he regularly used. With a few practised motions and spells his hair was dried and styled, and he was ready to go.

Lily and Harry were waiting for him in the floo room. Harry looked simply adorable in his tiny robes over simple shorts and sleeveless shirt. Lily, on the other hand, looked absolutely radiant. Her hair was braided, the robes she wore were airy and almost see-through, but not quite. Both of them were wearing sandals, going barefoot would be more traditional, but the company would be mixed, so they had to make compromises to avoid drawing attention. Tom planned to slip out of his own sandals sometime during the day. A stone or sand getting into them always was a good excuse.

It worked every time.

“You look very good. Very handsome, Harry.” Harry looked up, shouted “Dad!” and stretched his arms out over his head. Used to the demand by now, Tom bent down and picked up his son, comfortably settling into the best position to carry Harry on his hip. “Go!”

“Yes, Harry, we’re ready to go. We’ll have a lot of fun. I’m sure of it.” Tom offered his free arm to Lily, who slipped her own arm through his elbow, linking them all together.

Her smile was shaky, and Tom squeezed her hand carefully against his ribcage. “All will be well, Lily. You look wonderful, and many of the people who will be there already know about us. A few know you already. Like Madame Bones, Crouch senior, a few other Aurors, and people who went to school with you. And I don’t plan to leave your side when you don’t want me to.” Tom winced inwardly, that last sentence might have sounded a little too possessive. He had no right to lay any claim to Lily, nor would that change if they ever should get into a romantic relationship.

“That so many of the people know me already and I them is one of the problems, Tom. People I don’t know yet, I don’t really care all that much what they think of me. Or I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to interact with them in the future… but I guess I will have to interact with them again, won’t I?”

“Take a deep breath,” Tom interrupted her. She was starting to talk herself into a state of even greater nervousness. “There is no need to worry. Deep, even breaths. You can do that. I have seen you face unfavourable odds in battle. This day will not be as bad.”

Lily gave him a glare and squeezed his arm with her hand. “A battle and a party are two very different things, Tom. It’s much easier to be brave in a battle. It might sound strange but I don’t feel there is that much at stake in a battle or so many places where one can step wrong. But thanks for trying to comfort me.”

To that explanation he couldn’t think of anything to answer. So he simply accepted the thanks with a nod. “Are we ready to go?”

Harry had been looking back and forth between them, but clapped happily with his hands, chanting “Go! Go! Go!” while bouncing up and down in Tom’s arm.

“Then let us go,” Lily said, keeping a strong grip as Tom turned on the spot, apparating them all over to Malfoy Manor.

They arrived in a cheerfully decorated paved area at the edge of a lively party. They were not the first to arrive, just as Tom had planned. It was always awkward to be either the first or last to arrive. Or at least it was if one wasn’t the guest of honour or the host. Today he was neither. And not drawing attention would be better for Lily’s state of nerves.

“Welcome, Lily, Tom! And little Harry.” Narcissa greeted them, a crown made from flowers and grass perched on her intricately braided hair. She picked up another flower crown from a small table and stepped forward to place it on Lily’s hair. “Be a guest at our house. May you be merry and at peace.” As the Lady of the house it fell to Narcissa to welcome all the guests and speak the blessing. Tom knew that she would use the traditional greeting only for those who she was sure were not averse to the traditions, but would hand out flower crowns to all guests. Not everyone accepted them, though.

Tom did accept the crown that had been made completely from different white flowers. He was relatively sure that it was supposed to be an inside joke. Not that there were a lot of truly black flowers out there. Harry tried to grab for the crown, so Tom quickly cast a sticking charm at it. “Do you want your own crown, Harry?”

The little wizard nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!”

Narcissa smiled and picked up another, much smaller crown from that one table. It wasn’t filled with as many crowns as would be needed, nor was it big enough to have held all the crowns already worn by the other guests. Tom assumed that an elf was supplying crowns as they were matched to the guests whenever the person arrived.

Another sticking charm placed the crown securely on Harry’s head. All were safe to eat if Harry should manage to take it down, Tom noted with satisfaction.

“Abraxas and Lucius are over by the pond, the buffet is on the terrace nearer to the house. Please amuse yourselves. Music and dancing will start later.”

“Thank you, Narcissa,” Lily said and they were off into the throng, smiling and calling out greetings to people as they were passing by.

“I hadn’t really considered that everyone would be wearing flower crowns.” Lily said, looking around curiously.

“Not all,” Tom said, nodding in the direction of Crouch Senior, head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, who was deeply entranced in a discussion and wasn't wearing a flower crown. “Some who don’t care for traditions as much feel it’s too frivolous to wear flowers. Or maybe he thinks it’s going to affect his status as a wizard. I have no idea what the case is with him.”

Lily snorted. “I think you look good with those flowers. They do contrast nicely with your hair.”

“Thank you,” Tom said, smiling.

“Down! Harry, walk!” Tugging firmly on a lock of that very hair, Harry demanded that he could walk on his own. Probably interested in investigating some of what he could see for himself. He was always so very forward and interested.

Lily got out her wand and cast a tracking charm on Harry while Tom bent and got down into a crouch to set his son down. “Don’t walk too far away.” Tom wasn’t sure that Harry did understand, or if he simply ignored Tom’s words, but he started to walk over to another witch, looking around curiously, almost as soon as his feet made contact with the ground.

“And he’s off.” Lily had a smile on her face and in her voice.

Tom chuckled. “I’m sure that the elves will look out for him. Do we want to follow him for a while?” Harry was walking in the direction of the pond, where people were laughing and a tall, decorated pole had been set up. As it was the direction they wanted to go in anyway, if they wanted to talk with the Minister of Magic and his father, it seemed like a good idea.

So they followed after their son at a leisurely pace, as Harry was much too interested in looking at his surrounding to walk faster or even run, which he had discovered as a way to have fun a while ago.

“Mr. Riddle, Mrs. Potter, I didn’t expect to see you here together.” Madame Bones greeted them, as she stepped closer and fell into step with them. She was wearing a flower crown of mostly yellow flowers. “Madame Bones,” Tom and Lily greeted her almost in unison. “How are you on this fine day?” Tom asked with a winning smile.

“I do enjoy the warm weather and the excellent strawberry tartlets. I can highly recommend them.”

“Once Harry decides that he’s explored enough, I’ll pick one up for myself. Thanks for the recommendation. I’m sure the buffet is bigger than anything that would seem reasonable, and much too big to be able to taste every single dish offered,” Lily easily answered, only a little distracted by keeping an eye on Harry. It might seem strange that she would feel compelled to do so when she had placed a tracking charm on him, but Harry had managed to dispel those a few times, probably because he wanted to sneak around, and his magic had reacted to that wish by removing the magic telling that would tell them where he was at any given moment.

Maybe he should invest the time to enchant something Harry could wear that his accidental magic couldn’t affect like that. There was the possibility that the magic would find another way, but it sounded like a fun challenge.

“How is your quest for recognition before the Wizengamot progressing?” Madame Bones asked, not really masking her ongoing curiosity and suspicion. She probably had been in touch with someone who had been warned away from Tom by Dumbledore before the old meddler’s timely but anything-but-glorious death.

“Slowly, as I expected. I handed in the documents to the Office of Inheritance once the waiting time after presenting my evidence before the Wizengamot ended. Just as I had expected, not one member stepped forward to confirm my claims, sparing me the tedious process, nor was there anyone disputing my claims. Now I’ll have to wait again until the office either accepts the documents I provided as evidence, asks for more, or dismisses it altogether.” Tom shrugged, letting go of Lily’s arm to pick up two flutes of champagne with floating berries – currants of different colours – bobbing up and down inside the glass from a tray floating by.

He handed one of the glasses to Lily, who accepted it with a smile, and then raised it in a toast once Madame Bones had one of her own. “To a nice evening.” The two witches echoed his toast, raising their glasses as well.

They each took a sip, smiling at Harry, who had returned to walk around them in circles, following a small giggling fairy, which was flying around them just high enough to be easily out of reach from the small boy.

Madame Bones chuckled. “My niece Susan loves to play with the fairies as well. It’s funny how they like to play catch with the little ones.”

“It looks more like they’re mocking him. I guess teasing a being so much bigger without being at risk must be fun,” Lily mused, sipping from her drink, smiling fondly down at their son.

Madame Bones was watching their interactions pretty closely, and Tom recognized the speculation in her eyes. He reminded himself that they wanted people to see them interact, wanted them to come to some obvious conclusion and talk about it. They needed people to accept the relationship between them if Lily, Harry, and he were to lead a relatively normal life.

“Where did you meet?” And there the questioning started.

Lily’s smile was sharp-edged as she answered the question. “We had met a few times in passing before we had the opportunity to talk.” Tom supposed that was one way of putting it. Met in passing… they had run past each other in a few battles. There was more Slytherin in Lily than he had expected, or maybe it was rubbing off on her over time.

“You might have heard that James was infertile. I know that Sirius knew, and he isn’t the most discreet about things like that. And he assumed that I went to ask my old childhood friend Severus Snape to help us out.” She shook her head, clearly exasperated. “As if I ever would consider something like that.” She was good. Tom was impressed. This would be easier than he had expected it to be. “Tom and I decided to reveal Harry’s real parentage, now that James isn’t here any longer. It’ll be better for him to have both parents around growing up.”

The other witch seemed a little overwhelmed with that amount of information, given so freely. She looked over to Tom, almost asking without words if that was really the truth.

“All the truth. We want what’s best for Harry.” Another witch walked up to them and asked Madame Bones something, and they were able to slip away, continuing their way towards Lucius and Abraxas.

“I’m impressed.” Somehow it felt right to mention this, Harry walking at their side, looking around curiously, and many similar interactions to come.

Lily snorted. “If you step back far enough, the details fade into the bigger picture, and the story can be told without distracting with the truth. It’s a technique I perfected to talk with relatives not aware of magic during family get-togethers. Can you imagine telling some aunt you haven’t seen in five years what your fancy boarding school is like and not being able to actually talk about anything substantial?”

He hummed. “Interesting point of view. I think I understand how you had to develop this talent for telling the truth while also obscuring all the important details.” Lily laughed, and they arrived next to the two wizards they had been trying to reach.

“Tom, I see you’ve brought your… son and Mrs. Potter.”

Tom noticed the small hesitation and raised a brow. He had a feeling he knew what word his friend had wanted to use there. Thankfully he had decided to go with something else.

“I thought we had agreed to use first names,” Lily stated, half asking, to Abraxas.

“We did that, yes. This difference in setting has thrown me off.” He smiled, accepted Lily’s hand and bowed elegantly over it, before straightening again. “Lily, then.”

That was the moment Lucius managed to turn to them, greeting them with a professional smile. The Malfoys were good at those. “Mr. Riddle, Mrs. Potter, welcome to our Midsummer celebration. Thank you for accepting our invitation. I hope you have fun.”

They exchanged some polite, unimportant pleasantries. Well, unimportant by content – weather, food, other guests. If another versed politician was listened in, as some probably were, they would hear the undercurrents of mutual respect, the hints of an alliance, and the fact that the current Minister of Magic regarded Tom to be a good friend of his father’s and a person he would turn to for advice.

The next hour was filled with political dances, word plays, and careful evaluation of political compatibility. They made it to the buffet, eventually, and Harry wanted to have a break on his dad’s arm halfway there. In fact his demand of “Dad! Up!” spoken in front of several witnesses fuelled the rumours quite nicely.

oooOOooo

It was a fascinating experience, walking among politicians with Tom. She had been to a few functions and parties like this one with James, but his approach to parties had been radically different. He had joked with everyone, broken up any serious conversation with something trivial. Tom was smiling the whole time, but he listened to people, picked up the topics they brought up, and made sure to include others in the conversations, especially Lily. James had never done anything like that. With James, he had been the center of attention, loud and demanding, pushing everyone else to the edges. Tom also stood in the middle of the conversation, even when he was listening. The way he stood, the way he moved, the way he listened, all of it, it drew attention to him. When he spoke, that contrast made his restraint somehow more visible. Tom had more weight to him.

Maybe it was his age; more experience and all that. James had been rather immature still, never having had the opportunity to actually grow up. She had learned a lot about the people attending the party, more than ever before, but also different things than ever before.

“I think I have a better grasp on the political factions in the Ministry now,” Lily said, watching as Harry settled down on a blanket inside a warded area reserved for the small children and overseen by a few house-elves.

“That’s the idea behind socializing at such functions,” Tom answered, also concentrating on Harry, who had started to levitate some wooden blocks over to play with them. His control over his accidental magic was impressive.

“But certainly not everything.”

Tom turned to her, smiling, a true smile that reached his eyes. “Yes. Having fun is also something that is supposed to be achieved. But networking, getting to know people, letting other people get to know you, is a really big part of an event hosted by one of the influential families. Especially an event of this size.”

“I hope that the part with the having fun is about to start soon,” Lily grumbled, her feet sore from walking and standing around all morning. Dancing and getting out of these sandals would be a nice changes of pace right about now.

She had seen Severus from afar a few times. He obviously had used the party to socialise. It certainly was a good idea for him to search out contacts in the potions community if he wanted to get further than being Tom Riddle's, aka Lord Voldemort’s, personal potions brewer.

As if in answer to her question, a chime sounded all over the party, people falling silent and turning to where Abraxas Malfoy stood on the terrace, moving his arms in an encompassing motion, smiling down on them. “Thank you all again for accepting our invitation and being our guests on this summer day. Please enjoy yourself, relax, and dance.” The music started just in that moment, probably taking the end of that short speech as a cue. It was lively, light, and happy. Knowing that Harry was in good hands and the elves could find them at a moment’s notice if they were needed, Lily took hold of Tom’s arm and started to move in the direction of the decorated pole where the dancing was going to take place.

“Where can I leave my sandals?” She really wanted to dance barefoot on the grass. She hadn’t done something like that in a while, somehow thinking that being a grown-up meant walking without shoes was no longer acceptable.

“Just leave them here at the edge of the dancing area,” Tom answered, bending down to get rid of his own sandals, the flowers on his head moving with the motion. “The elves will take care of them and return them at the end of the day.”

Shrugging Lily accepted that reasoning – elves were such an integral part of wizarding high society that their being responsible for this didn’t seem that odd – and bent down to open the tiny buckles of her own sandals. Leaving them behind, she stepped onto the trimmed grass. It was a fresh feeling that evoked quite a few happy memories. Chasing Severus along the park, laughing. Dancing in the small garden behind a friend’s house. Eating ice cream while sitting on the grass, enjoying the sun.

Tom stepped onto the grass beside her, sketching a bow with an elegance that spoke of a man practiced in duelling, or dancing. “Would you grant me the pleasure of dancing with me?”

Lily grinned and dropped a curtsy, inclining her head. “It would be my pleasure.”

They linked their hands and slipped into the circle forming around the pole, easily picking up on the steps of the dance. Lily laughed when she spotted Severus and Regulus with linked hands dancing on the opposite side of the circle. The two of them were blushing and Lily was extraordinary pleased with that development. Her friend deserved some happiness, and he had been in love with Regulus since they had been teenagers.

The experience was intoxicating. Her feet were tingling, the hand holding Tom’s was getting hot, she felt light and happy. One step followed after the other, they turned in smaller circles, turning around each other, following the bigger circle around the pole together, creating a big moving circle together with all the other dancing pairs. There were old couples, teenagers, friends, siblings, married couples, all of them dancing to the same music with the same steps.

She fell into a trance, hyper-aware of everything that was happening, and at the same time floating above it all, kind of disconnected, part of a bigger whole.

She later wouldn’t be able to tell exactly how long they had been dancing, but she felt simultaneously tired and energized once the dance ended. Tom guided her to a bench on the far side of the garden, calling for an elf to get them something to drink.

“Are you well?” Tom asked her and Lily looked up at him, noticing his concerned look. Of course she felt fine. More than fine, even. This had been one of the most intense experiences in her life.

Then she noticed that she hadn’t said anything of that out loud and was still blinking up at Tom. Maybe she was more out of it than she had realized. So she nodded, accepting the glass of lemonade from Tom. It tasted very refreshing, and Lily notice how very thirsty she was.

“The first time can be very intense.” Tom sounded understanding and still concerned. “I hadn’t expected that you would let go enough to actually feel it. If I had, I would have warned you that this might happen.”

“Which, that?” She sounded quite drunk. As if she had indulged too much in great wine or fire-whiskey. There seemed to be a reason he was concerned.

“You being overwhelmed by channelling this much magic. Communal rituals like this one can generate lots of energy. And it is channelled through the participants. If I had even suspected that you would.. go with it, fall into the flow… but I didn’t.” Now that she had emptied one glass of lemonade and was sipping at a second, his concern lessened and was replaced by a little bit of amusement.

“Why?”

“Why I didn’t expect you to be drawn in quite that much?” Tom asked, and Lily nodded. Should she be concerned that she seemed unable to find words to answer?

“For one, because most who haven’t grown up with the festivities have trouble letting go.” Lily wasn’t sure what prompted him to explain more, but he did anyway. “If one doesn’t open up for the magic to flow through the body, it doesn’t happen. It’s a process that needs to be consented to. It usually happens on a subconscious level. It took me a while to get it and relax enough so it happened for me. Considering your scepticism and that this was your first participation, your ability to relax and trust the magic of the ritual was surprising.”

Lily hummed, letting herself slump a little bit sideways on the bench, letting her head rest on Tom’s shoulder. That was comfortable.

“Are you still with me, Lily?” Now Tom voice sounded mostly amused.

She hummed again in confirmation. This state of relaxation was really great. If this happened every time, that would explain why people would participate in the dancing. Aside from the fun of dancing, of course.

“Come drink some more.” Tom prodded her until she was sitting upright again, holding the glass of lemonade up to her lips.

Lily sipped and felt herself slowly slipping out of the almost trance-like state. She still felt relaxed, but more like she did after a warm bath and a few glasses of wine. Before had been a lot stronger. She hadn’t had the opportunity to take any recreational drugs, but she had once seen Petunia stoned out of her mind. Her older sister had looked like Lily was feeling right now. “I think I was high,” she said, blinking slowly and looking out over the garden, where another group of people had started dancing.

Tom chuckled. “You’re still high, Lily, I’m sure. But at least it’s a nice trip.”

The dancing people were nice to look at, but all the swirling was making her dizzy. So she turned her head to look at Tom, who also looked at her, smiling a small, happy and amused smile.

“You have very pretty eyes.” She didn’t often pay attention to his eyes, the lashes around them and the hint of crow’s feet around them.

“Thank you.” His smile grew bigger, those little lines around his eyes getting deeper.

Maybe she should toss all her reservations overboard. He was a good-looking man and worked really hard to be a good father.

She leant forward, puckering up her lips, aiming for his lips. Should kissing require this much coordination?

Two warm hands on her shoulders stopped her. “You’re high, Lily. I don’t think it’s a good idea to start something you might regret once you’re sober again.” His voice was velvety, smooth, and filled with regret.

Lily blinked up at Tom, confused and a little sad. She had thought that he was interested in her as well. “Won’t regret it.” She furrowed her brow, that hadn’t come out with enough conviction. She had sounded unsure, more like she had been asking.

“We don’t know you won’t, Lily. I wish very much to kiss you. But this wouldn’t be right.” One of those warm hands moved from her shoulder to her cheek, one finger trailing down and then upwards to place a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Come to me again, later?”

She probably should have been angry, or frustrated, maybe sad? But thinking to sort out all that she was feeling was too taxing right now. So she sighed, and turned back to watch the dancing people, her head resting on Tom’s shoulder again.

This was comfortable.

Lily woke to two voices speaking pretty close to her. She opened her eyes and sat up straight from her slumped position against Tom’s shoulder. A blush rose to her cheeks as she remembered that she had attempted to kiss him and how he had rebuffed her advances. How humiliating.

“Mrs. Potter, are you well?” Lily’s green eyes found Amelia Bones standing right next to them, tense.

“Yes,” Lily answered, nodding. Why was the other witch so tense? Lily blinked again and realisation hit. They had participated in a ritual, which probably was banned, where most people didn’t realise what it was, or had been, and wouldn’t experience what she had. Or react as strongly as she had, as Tom was showing by seemingly being unaffected. Amelia Bones probably thought that she had been forced into something illegal against her will.

She took a deep breath and smiled. “That was more physical exertion than I had anticipated. On top of that, I hadn’t had enough to drink over the day. Or at least not enough non-alcoholic beverages.” She laughed, trying to put a little bit of embarrassment and self deprecation into it. “Maybe even too many of those bubbly berry champagne drinks.”

Patting Tom’s hand, that was resting on his own knee, she looked to him and back to Madame Bones. “Tom was a perfect gentleman and made sure I got some lemonade to drink and a moment to rest.” She turned back to her date for the day. “Thank you for looking out for me.”

The sparkle in his eyes confirmed that he had caught on to the subtext. Kissing him, knowing who he was, while high probably would have put an awkward spin on their fledgling relationship.

“If you’re sure,” was all the other witch said before leaving them there in the shade of the trees, sitting on an extravagant bench.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Not long. Around an hour.”

Lily turned to Tom in surprise. “An hour? And you’ve been sitting here the whole time?”

He nodded once more, smiling, sliding his hand closer to where hers was placed on her own knee. “When someone brings a novice to any kind of ritual, they are responsible for the novice’s well-being. And aside from good practices and manners, I really enjoyed being your pillow for your nap.”

Another blush stained her cheeks, and she halfheartedly slapped him on his arm, before taking his hand into hers. “You’re terrible.”

“I think that common impression is the reason why Amelia Bones felt the need to check up on you.”

They sat there as the day became dimmer, lights flickering on all around the garden. Lily was pretty sure they were powered by magic. Fire would have flickered more, and electricity was pretty unlikely in the garden of a wizarding mansion.

“Do you want to dance?” Tom asked out of the blue. “Ballroom dancing. No chance for any magic-induced trances or highs. Promise.”

“Sounds like a great idea.” They got up of the bench and walked over the grass – cold and fresh beneath Lily’s bare feet – towards where several couples were dancing to slow music, some barely moving, in close embraces.

The position of their arms was much more proper, and Tom led her into a slow dance she had learned one summer towards the end of her Hogwarts years. She couldn’t name it, but she didn’t need a name to follow Tom’s lead.

Her smile grew bigger the moment she spotted Regulus and Severus dancing, standing very close together, on the other side of the dance floor.

“Look over there,” Lily whispered to Tom, using the change of song to get closer to him. That much simpler dance of swaying looked very appealing.

Tom moved them in a small circle, snorting the moment he spotted his two young followers dancing. “I had wondered when those two would get over their reluctance and finally get together.”

“You knew?” Did anything slip by that man?

“Don’t tell me the two of them haven’t been very obvious about their interest?” They kept moving in small circles, expertly avoiding all the other couples on the temporary dance floor.

“No. They have been very obvious pretty much since the two of them have been teenagers. But I was Severus’ best friend at that time. And you can’t tell me that they would tell you something like that.” She shook her head, sounding exasperated.

“Well, no, they wouldn’t. I can see though. There was no need for them to tell me anything. And gossip is a thing in pretty much any group of humans. Even a group infamous for ruthlessness.” Lily snorted. “I know, one would think a group feared by almost everyone shouldn’t be as bad at gossiping as the book club in any average village. If anyone was to ask me, I could tell them some interesting stories which would destroy any such expectations, though.”

That claim brought a whirlwind of possibilities to mind. What could Death Eaters be gossiping about? Affairs? Who had stolen the family recipe for the best Christmas pudding from the oldest witch in the group, claiming it was theirs? All of those sounded to strange too be true.

“You’ll have to tell me some now. You know that, right?”

Tom chuckled again, pulling them closer together. “I’m sure I can think of some that would amuse you.”

When they finally arrived back at home, a sleeping Harry on Tom’s arm, Lily felt pleasantly tired. This had been a very nice day, and an extremely interesting experience with a traditional magical ritual.

How someone could label what she had experienced as dark, and therefore dangerous, was beyond her. Probably something banned because it belonged to a group of things that could be dangerous. Basically, guilty by association.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter speaks of summer and I publish it while snow is on the ground outside my window. I somehow never manage to match my chapters even remotely to the date in the real world :D  
> Keep as safe as you can, take care and thanks for your comments, they make my days!
> 
> First published 12th of February 2021
> 
> Next chapter scheduled for the 12th of March 2021
> 
> Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!


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